Fairy Tales Assembly for Key Stage I (Numerous alternative fairy tale plays available for Key Stage II) This assembly or class play is based upon the following fairy tales: · Sleeping Beauty · Cinderella · Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs · The Three Little Pigs · Goldilocks and the Three Bears Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time (without inclusion of music suggestions) Quite an eye-opener this one - for our narrator, at least! It would seem you really can’t judge a book by its cover - well, certainly not when you're dealing with these fairy tale characters! Sample Text: Music 6 Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf (Wolf suddenly jumps out from hiding, bringing cheerful singing to an abrupt halt) Wolf: (Grinning) Ha! Not so full of yourselves now, huh? Little Pig 1: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You don’t frighten me! Little Pig 2: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You can’t bully us! Wolf: (Laughing) Oh really? (Wolf lets out a huge growl and all three little pigs ‘run for their lives’) Wolf: (Laughing) Whose afraid now? Narrator: Now, that really wasn’t very nice of you! Wolf: (Repeating, incredulously) Nice of me? Whoever heard of a nice Big Bad Wolf? Narrator: But you’re not really big and bad, are you? Wolf: Of course not! But (pointing to the audience) I have to keep this lot happy, don’t I? Narrator: You mean, being big and bad is what is expected of you? Wolf: Of course! It’s all an act! Narrator: (Clapping) Well, you’re very convincing! And (looking at audience) I for one am mighty relieved he’s not as bad as you all think he is! (Wolf shakes hands with narrator, growls savagely at audience, and exits) Narrator: Ah! I do so love happy endings! Me still being alive, that is!

General Election Assembly - Who should be our next prime minister? 6 weeks to go … and bored with the General Election already? Then this assembly is your perfect tonic! As for our narrator, who would envy their task of choosing a prime minister - from a class of 30?! The choice? Football stars, movie stars, rock stars ..... and a whole lotta girl/boy attitude between the Spice 'lot' and a certain Direction! Somebody needs to tell them about equality - and who better than .... S Club 7?! This is a very light hearted look at the coming election. The ‘possible candidates’ are a selection of celebs – chosen purely for entertainment sake. For a more serious ‘take’, the script could be adapted to include a far more serious list of people either now or in the past e.g. Gandhi, King, Mandela, Mother Theresa etc. Likewise, whilst dealing with the current topic of the election, this script could be used for citizenship because of its PSHE component – this latter could be extended by adding a section on ‘What would you change if you were prime minister?’ Duration: 10 – 15 minutes reading time; around 20 – 30 minutes including music suggestions. Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down; and characters may be replaced by children’s own choices. Sample Text Child 1: I think David Beckham should be prime minister! Child 2: Nah! It’s got to be Lionel Messi! Child 3: No! Wayne Rooney has my vote! Child 4: Rubbish! It’s got to be Cristiano Ronaldo! Narrator: (Blowing whistle) Excuse me! Since when did any of these footballers know anything about politics? They might be pretty good at running up and down a pitch, but running a country? I don’t think so! (Exit Child 1, 2, 3 and 4) Narrator: Next! (Enter ‘athlete’ – Child 5) Child 5: I’m here representing the world of athletics! I’d vote for Jessica Ennis! Narrator: (To audience, sighing) What is it with kids and sport? (To Child 5) Yes, I can see why you might think Ms Ennis would set us all a fine example Child 5: A prime role model! An inspiration to us all! Narrator: Yes, yes. I totally agree! But there is a difference between running along those tracks Child 5: In record times! Narrator: And, …..let me finish…., running the country! (To audience) Am I having a moment of déjà vu or didn’t I just say that a very short while ago? (To Child 5) Anyway. Thank you … but no thank you! (Exit Child 5) Music 3 Theme music from Doctor Who

St. George's Day Poem (or Ode to St. George) This poem was written in celebration of St. George's Day. It's about championing the cause of a national holiday and celebrating England as a country. Sample text: Rule Britannia! St. George's Day is here. England never shall have Anything to fear! Land of Hope and Glory Mother of the Free We have no national holiday Now how can that be? St. George, get off your charger And come and sort this out. If you truly champion valour Then leave us in no doubt. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Following emboldened text spoken by St. George) OK, I wasn't born in England That is certainly true. I was actually born in the Middle East When Christianity was taboo. But wait a while, have you not heard Exactly how I lost my head? In defending my own Christian faith I ended up .... Dead! An inspiration To those Crusaders later. If you don't believe me, kids, Go check your data! I know how much England Means to you. Keep pride in your country Trust me ‐ I do! It's a while since I fought For any worthwhile cause. But give me a chance And I'll champion yours! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- England has history that goes on forever (Makes up, perhaps, for our crummy weather!) England produced the Beatles, the Stones and the Who And a capital city, London - equaled by few. England serves the very best tea England has health care that is free. England is the place to be England is the land of the free.

St. George's Day Assembly or Class Play What on earth could the queen of England, our narrator alias Beefeater/guard of the Tower of London and the Artful Dodger have in common? Read on to find out what 'Twist' turns the Artful Dodger into Sir Artful Dodger! Cast size: 25 but easily adjusted up or down Duration: Around 20 minutes (depending on how much music is used) The focus of this play is London. Time constraints meant I just touched on England's history - events and people. I have addressed this 'shortfall' in the collection of guided reading scripts (available separately). Sample Text (Enter Sir Winston Churchill, smoking a pipe) Narrator: Ah, Sir Winston Churchill! Thank goodness. You pulled us through that Second World War - can you help me deal with this group of .. of ... super-women? Sir Winston Churchill: What? This lot? Leave it to me! Music 5 Who Do you Think You Are - Spice Girls (Spice Girls sing and make threatening gestures toward Sir Winston Churchill, who cowers and runs off stage) Narrator: (Aside) Hmm. Time for a different kind of ‘Help!" (Turning to Spice Girls) Hey girls, here come the Beatles! Spice Girls: (Together) Beetles? Did someone say, beetles? (All Spice Girls scream and run off stage) Music 6 Help - Beatles (Beatles stride on, singing Help!) Narrator: OK! That's probably as much help as I need! Thank you, boys! Beatles: (Together) No probs! (Exit Beatles) Narrator: So. Enough of this frivolity! Back to the serious stuff! Take my job at the Tower, for example (Queen Elizabeth runs back onto stage, in state of total panic) Narrator: Your Majesty! Whatever is the matter? Don't tell me you spilt your tea? Queen Eliz: (Gasping) Haven't you heard? Music 7 London Bridge is Falling Down (Cast sings first verse) Narrator: But that was around one thousand years ago, Your Majesty! It has been rebuilt several times since then! Queen Eliz: No! No! It's not that I'm worried about! Narrator: Oh no! Don't tell me the Thames Barrier has failed? Queen Eliz: What? The world's largest movable flood barrier? Of course not! Narrator: So. Has Buckingham Palace been burgled? Music 8 They're Changing Guards At Buckingham Palace (Cast sings first verse, as two guards in uniform march up and down) Queen Eliz: What? With my fine guards to keep us safe? I don't think so! Narrator: (Gasping) Don't tell me St. Paul's Cathedral has burnt to the ground again? Queen Eliz: (Sighing in exasperation) No. Our fire service has improved a little since that Great Fire of London!

International Children's Book Day Assembly or Class Play This script was written in celebration of International Children's Book Day April 2nd 2017 including characters from Horrid Henry, Peter Pan, The Gruffalo, Charlotte's Web, Captain Underpants, Matilda, The Tales of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. NB This is the same script as World Book Day Assembly but adapted to International Children's Book Day. Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) Duration: Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions Sample Text: Narrator: Thank you! Of course there is so much to celebrate in the world of literature! All those wonderful inspirational characters! (Enter Horrid Henry, scowling) Horrid Henry: Dah! I suppose you’ve got a whole line up of squeaky clean characters for us today? Just got one word to say to that – BORING! Narrator: And you are? (Pauses) Oh, don’t tell me – Horrid Henry! (Aside to Audience) A shame he had to start us off today! Definitely not one of our more likeable characters! (To Henry) Now, if you don’t mind, I do have a lot of other, shall we say ‘more wholesome characters’ to introduce! Horrid Henry: (Scowling) Please yourself! (Exit Horrid Henry, giving exaggerated ‘yawns’) Narrator: (To Audience) Oh dear! Sorry about that! Let’s see if we can ‘raise the bar’ a little! (Peter Pan ‘flies’ onto the stage) Narrator: Ah! Peter Pan! How nice to meet you! Peter Pan: The pleasure is all mine! (Enter Wendy and Tinkerbell) Peter Pan: I’d like you to meet Wendy: (Curtseying) Wendy (looking at Peter Pan adoringly) Darling! Tinkerbell: (Trying to ‘swoosh’ Wendy out of the way) And Peter’s favourite, Tinkerbell! Peter Pan: (Laughing) Now, now Tinkerbell! We have spoken about that jealousy thing! (Tinkerbell pulls a face, sulking) Wendy: Oh but she’s so adorable! You can’t be cross with her for long! (Enter Horrid Henry) Horrid Henry: What was I saying about those yukky sugary-sweet characters? Time to introduce some more interesting ones! (Horrid Henry beckons to Captain Cook and Crocodile) (Enter Captain Cook and Crocodile, snapping at Narrator’s heels) Narrator: (Angrily) Who let this beast on here? (Glaring at Horrid Henry) Oh I might have known you’d be up to no good!

Ancient Greek Myths Tale of Two Spinners Assembly or Class Play This class play can be used as an assembly (for performance) or as a class play, to be read within the classroom. It is part of a set of scripts written on the Ancient Greek Myths which includes Guided Reading scripts plus quizzes. The poem - The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt - is included in the text. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 - 15 minutes Sample Text: Narrator: Now, that’s better. (Ushering Incey Wincey Spider and Little Miss Muffet back to their seats) (To audience) You see how ridiculous this fear of spiders is? What do they call it? Arachn (Enter Arachne, scuttling on in spider costume) Arachne: Someone mention my name? Narrator: Ah! You’d be Arachne! As in Arachnophobia? Arachne: Well, I have no fear of spiders. I just am one! All thanks to (Enter Athene) Athene: Me! Arachne: Wretched goddess! (Athene scowls and raises her hand) Athene: (Menacingly) I’d be very careful what you say, if I were you Arachne! That tongue of yours has already got you into a whole heap of trouble! Arachne: (Gesturing at the spider outfit) Oh you mean this? Just because I said I was a better spinner than you! Athene: Foolish girl! What arrogance! You had to be punished! Arachne: That wasn’t quite the only reason I got punished, was it? Narrator: I’d say that was ample reason! Definitely too big for her boots, this one! Arachne: (Wailing) But I was brilliant at my craft. Athene: And didn’t you know it! You had to be taken down a peg or two.

Ancient Greek Myths Pandora's Box Assembly or Class Play This class play can be used as an assembly (for performance) or as a class play, to be read within the classroom. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 15 - 20 minutes reading not including music suggestions. The Seven Deadly Sins plus all those Vices? No wonder our Narrator is worried! But as with all good stories, this one has a happy ending - well, maybe not for all those baddies! This is one of a collection of Ancient Greek Myth scripts – assemblies and guided reading scripts, sold as separate and combined products. This play could also be used as a PSHE resource – on resisting temptation, and the victory of good (hope) over evil (Seven Deadly Sins plus, in this case 19 Vices). Sample Text: Music 5 – You’re Beautiful – James Blunt (Epimetheus sings love song to Pandora) Narrator: (Indicating for music to stop) Yes, yes. We get it! Young love! Epimetheus: Oh come on! Look at this perfect woman? How could I possibly resist? Narrator: (To audience) Aha! Somebody else who couldn’t resist temptation! (To Pandora) No offence to you, madam. (To Epimetheus) But did you not look a little deeper? I mean, yes, she’s undoubtedly beautiful but (Optional burst of The Price You Pay – Bruce Springsteen) Pandora: (Angrily) Oh right! It’s the blond argument, right? The ‘well, if she looks that good, there can’t be much underneath’? No spirit, heh? Music 6 Missionary Man – Eurythmics (Pandora throws off her ‘pretty clothes’ displaying a much stronger image) Narrator: (Holding up hand for music to stop) Whoa! That’s not the Perfect Pandora I was expecting! Epimetheus: (Gasping) And that’s not a side of my wife I’ve ever seen before! Pandora: Of course not! You only ever wanted me to be that perfect ‘domestic goddess’ – sitting around, looking pretty, staring vacantly out to space! Epimetheus: Well, isn’t that what wives are supposed to do? Narrator: Not this one, I suspect! (Optional excerpt of Thorn in my Side – Eurythmics – Pandora strutting up and down) Narrator: (Holding hand up) OK. Yes, we’ve got it! So underneath all that sweetness was a whole heap of frustration! Pandora: More like mega boredom! I mean, what was I supposed to do all day? Epimetheus: Stay out of mischief?

Ancient Greeks Theseus and the Minotaur Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading (this does not include music suggestions) Monsters and heroes - not the easiest cast to deal with! But then Poseidon is more than man - sorry, make that - god enough to take this lot on! Also available (as separate purchase): This assembly plus Guided Reading Script plus Quiz (one of large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell) Sample Text: Music 1 – El Matador Music (Cast file into hall, in order of speaking, taking seats along two rows of fifteen facing the audience) Poseidon: Welcome to this tale about (Enter Theseus) Music 2 Holding Out for a Hero – Bonnie Tyler (chorus) (Theseus strides up and down, bracing his muscles and striking various ‘heroic postures’) Theseus: A hero! That’s me, Theseus! (Theseus gestures to cast to cheer) (Whole cast cheers) Poseidon: And (Enter Minotaur) Music 3 Deeper Underground – Jamiroquai (chorus) (Minotaur ‘skulks’ up and down, glaring at both cast and audience) Minotaur: Me! The Minotaur! (Minotaur ‘paws the ground’, snorts in anger and glares at cast who all boo) Poseidon: Hmm. Quite a split! In fact Theseus: (Interrupting) You could say, Good versus Evil! Poseidon: (Glaring at Theseus) I could! But I’m not going to, if it’s all the same to you! (To audience, aside) These heroes! Think they’re God’s Gift! Theseus: Well, you may not have regarded me as a gift (pauses) Dad! (Pauses) But my other father did! (Enter Aegeus) Aegeus: Ah Theseus, my son! There you are! (To audience) I hope you haven’t been listening too much to this god, here (pointing at Poseidon). Gods! Way too much time on their hands and far too many off spring to show for it! Poseidon: What was that? Aegeus: Oh nothing, Poseidon! Just commenting on how creatively you fill your time. Truly awesome! Poseidon: Well, as God of the Seas I guess I am rather (pauses) what did you say? Oh, awesome, that’s right! A shame not everyone was in such awe of me as you! (Enter Minos) (Whole cast hisses and boos) Minos: (Angrily) Hey! That’s no way to greet the King of Crete! Aegeus: (Contemptuously) Pah! Some king you were! Minos: (Laughing) Huh! And you were any better, oh great King of Athens? (Pauses) Now, just remind me. Who had to send human sacrifices to who? Aegeus: (Exclaiming) Why, you evil, wicked, cruel, vindictive .. Poseidon: (Interrupting) Yes, yes. I think we get it. You two didn’t like each other much, did you? Aegeus: Oh I’ve barely started.

Ancient Greek Myths The Gorgon's Head Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes not including music What was Poseidon thinking - taking on all these women? He might succeed at putting the youth Perseus in his place but a group of 'wronged women'? Never! This is one of a large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell – guided reading scripts also available. Sample Text: Medusa: Just like I said! Gods! Men! The bane of our lives! Poseidon: (Clutching his forehead, muttering) I think I have a headache coming on. (Pauses)You know something? I suddenly feel just a little outnumbered! Would you ladies mind just giving me a short break? (Exit Athene, Medusa and Danae, shrugging their shoulders) Poseidon: Phew! Peace at last! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against ‘the weaker sex’ (Athene comes storming back) Music 3 War – Edwin Starr – Brief excerpt Athene: What was that you just said? Weaker, eh? I’ll show you weaker! (Athene strides up and down, wielding her sword) Poseidon: (Holding hand up) OK. I apologize. Athene: Goddess of wisdom and war! (To Poseidon) You’d do well to remember that! Poseidon: (Aside) As if I could forget! (To Athene) Now, what was I saying about having a little peace? Athene: Huh! Give me war any day! (Exit Athene) Poseidon: (Clutching head) Women! I knew I should never have agreed to this! (Enter Perseus, giving Poseidon a ‘high five) Perseus: What’s up, bro? Poseidon: (Indignantly) Bro? I’ll give you bro! Perseus: OK so I guess it’s Uncle, really – seeing as Zeus was my dad, and your brother! Poseidon: Correct! So, no more bro, right? Perseus: Fair enough! So, what’s the plan, dude? Poseidon: (Exploding) Dude? That’s even worse than bro! What is it with you youngsters? Can’t you talk normally? Perseus: (Sighing) OK I’ll try! I’m just not used to hanging out with oldies like you! Poseidon: (Exploding) Now look here, young Perseus! If you and me are going to get along, you need to show a little respect! (Enter Danae) Danae: Perseus! Where are those manners I taught you? Poseidon: I think he might have lost them during his travels! Danae: Well, let’s help him find them again! Poseidon is only trying to Poseidon: (Looking at his watch) Get this story told? Well, that’s proving a bit of a challenge! (To Danae) No offence, madam, but you women don’t half talk a lot! (Enter Polydectes, accompanied by ‘several’ women, all chatting and laughing) Polydectes: (Groaning) Tell me about it! You want to try keeping them quiet in court! Once they get going there’s no stopping them!

Ancient Greek Myths Odysseus and the Cyclops Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 to 15 minutes reading time (around 20 with addition of music) One of several Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell. A set of 5 Ancient Greek Myths is also available in Guided Reading format, each with 6 speakers, and its own quiz. Sample Text: Poseidon: Oh I’m sure it is! So you stopped off at my son’s island for a bit of a holiday? (To audience) I’ve heard the Greek islands are a favourite holiday destination. Island hopping, I believe you call it? Odysseus: Well, that was hardly our intention. We wanted to get home. Ancient Greek 6: But stopping off for a bit of a rest did make sense. Ancient Greek 7: Though it didn’t turn out to be quite the holiday we expected! Ancient Greek 8: Stuck in the back of that cave (Enter Polyphemus, finding his way to the group, with the aid of a white stick) Polyphemus: (Bellowing loudly) My home! Ancient Greek 9: Hardly the best that Airbnb have to offer! Polyphemus: (Bellowing angrily) Pardon? There’s nothing wrong with my cave I’ll have you know! Ancient Greek 10: Nothing at all – until you get your head bashed against one of the walls! I was the first to suffer at your hands Ancient Greek 11: And I the second! Ancient Greek 1: And I the third! Ancient Greek 2: And I the fourth Ancient Greek 3: And I the fifth Ancient Greek 4: And I the sixth! Poseidon: (Tutting) Son! Really! That was rather greedy, even by your standards! Polyphemus: (Muttering sulkily) But I didn’t eat them all in one go! Odysseus: (Sarcastically) Oh that was very good of you! Polyphemus: Well, thank you! Poseidon: No, I think he’s being sarcastic, son! The lowest form of wit. But something tells me, not quite low enough for you! Odysseus: (To Polyphemus) So come on! What have you got to say in your defence? Surely you don’t want your old man thinking you have the table manners of a monster? Polyphemus: (Spluttering) Well, I er, Ancient Greek 5: You just fancied a change from lamb stew, right? Polyphemus: (Beaming) Oh that’s right! Indeed I did! Ancient Greek 6: I expect lamb gets pretty boring night after night? Polyphemus: Oh you’re right! Ancient Greek 7: So we made a pleasant change to your diet? Polyphemus: (Slapping his large belly, fondly) Well, I’d hardly call it a diet!

Good and Bad Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered why some people are happy and others not? Could it perhaps have anything to do with their outlook on life? The two gangs in this assembly certainly see life very differently - well, they would, wouldn't they - given that one are a group of peace-loving hippies and the other, a group of street-wise warriors? But no differences are irreconcilable. Read on! Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes without inclusion of music suggestions (which will double the length of performance) Sample Text (BG stands for Bad Gang; GG stands for Good Gang) BG Leader: (To GG Leader) There you have it, Sunshine! That’s my gang! Where’s yours? Music 3 Joybringer – Manfred Mann’s Earthband (BG 15 – 28 perform song, singing and dancing, joyously) GG Leader: (Applauding) Ah now that’s more like it! Thank you so much! GG 1: Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening! BG 1: (Mimicking) Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) (BG 2 goes over to GG 2, in threatening manner) BG 2: So what are you going to say, little ‘joybringer’? (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) GG 2: Oh you needn’t think I’m afraid of you! BG 2: Well, you should be! I don’t reckon much of your chances in a stand up fight with us lot (Turns to Bad Gang) Am I right, guys? Bad Gang: (Aggressively) Right! (BG 2 swaggers back to seat) GG 3: Oh I can’t tell you how much we’re (pointing to Good Gang) all looking forward to that! (Collective Gasp from Bad Gang) BG 3: Are you mad? Or just plain stupid? GG 3: (Laughing) Maybe a little mad! But (pointing to Good Gang) we’re all good with that, right? Good Gang: (Joyfully) Right! BG 4: (Contemptuously) Pah! Just look at them! Thinking themselves so great! GG 4: Oh I can assure you we’re far from being just thinkers! BG 4: (Laughing, sarcastically) Right! You still up for some action? (BG 4 struts up and down, bracing his muscles; Bad Gang all do the same) GG 4: Very impressive – as a display! Shame it doesn’t have much substance! BG 5: Pah! Just jealous, that’s what you are! Making fun of us – how low can you stoop! GG 5: (Anxiously) Oh we didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourselves Music 4 Bad – Michael Jackson (Bad Gang all jump to their feet and perform again, as before)

The Twelve Labours of Hercules Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down; Duration around 15 minutes not including music suggestions - this could double the length of the assembly or class play. Every teacher's dream come true - an Ancient Greek superhero calling in to reignite the class's interest in a subject they have been doing all term! Hercules does so well ... until the arrival of that wicked king Eurystheus; but it doesn't take long before the latter realises his mistake in taking on this class - and it is truly heartening for all teachers everywhere to hear such respect from Hercules for their magnificent efforts! Enjoy The Twelve Labours of Hercules in fun, entertaining style - if it works for this set of children, it will definitely work for yours! Hercules features in two other scripts written by Sue Russell: 1. Superheroes Assembly for KSII – where Hercules has the dubious pleasure of converting a class of very un-super heroes … into super heroes! 2. Twelve New Labours of Hercules – in which the tables are turned on Hercules as he is the student on a self-improvement programme – this one with its focus on PSHE (i.e. ‘admirable’ character qualities!) Sample Text: Eurystheus: (To Narrator) Now. How many labours have we done? Narrator: Just three! (Loud groan from cast) Child 20: What? Nine more to go? Child 21: You have to be kidding? Child 22: This had better be good! Eurystheus: (Peevishly) What is it with these kids? A case of short attention span or what? (Cast all cross arms angrily, in defiant posture) Narrator: I’d be careful what you say, if I were you! This lot are easily upset and you might just find yourself in a bit of a spot! Eurystheus: (Laughing) Are you suggesting I should be worried by a load of kids? Oh don’t make me laugh! (To cast) Now. About this fourth labour. (Whole cast yawns loudly) Hercules’ task was to capture the Erymanthian Boar. Child 23: Did someone say ‘bore’? Child 24: As in, bore us to death’ Child 24: I think we can safely say, he already has! (Whole cast nod) Eurystheus: Now wait a minute! (Eurystheus walks over to the props box and tries to find ‘Boar’) Eurystheus: (Muttering) it must be in here somewhere! (Child 25, who had, unseen by Eurystheus, crept over to the props box and taken the Boar, pounces out at him, making him leap in the air and scream with terror; Hercules falls about laughing, as does the rest of the cast)

Twelve New Labours of Hercules Assembly NB: This script is not about the original 12 Labours of Hercules! It is based around a completely different set of challenges – on the kind of ‘admirable qualities’ the cast feels Hercules should have – presenting him with a 12-part self-improvement plan! This is a kind of spin off from the Superheroes script - almost a reversal in fact; as whilst in that script it was Hercules trying to make superheroes out of a pretty unpromising cast, this script is about the cast pulling the punches - Hercules struggling along in their wake! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration around 15 - 20 minutes not including music suggestions. This Key Stage II class play is PSHE ‘orientated’ as it focuses on 'character improvements' e.g. humility, courage, mutual respect, upholding what is right, keeping positive, patience, love .... and of course the hardest of all, being happy! Sample Text: Child 11: A start to your self-improvement plan. Hercules: My what? Child 12: Well, we all feel you are lacking Hercules: Me? The great Hercules? Lacking? Child 12: (Coughing) If you would allow me to finish? We all feel you are lacking – make that, greatly lacking in some of the qualities you should have as Hercules: As a great superhero? I don’t think so! Child 13: Actually, I was going to say, as a member of the human race! Your mother was a mortal, right? Hercules: Yes Child 14: So I’m sure she’d appreciate us trying to improve you! Hercules: Huh! How can you improve on perfection? Music 3 Chariots of Fire theme music (Hercules strides around ‘looking magnificent’) (Child 15 walks over to the music and turns it off) Hercules: (Indignantly) Hey! What’s the big idea? Child 15: I think we all get it! You are Mr Universe! Hercules: (Looking very pleased with himself) Well, thank you. I Child 15: (Pointing to head) In your head, that is! Hercules: (Furiously) Pardon? Child 15: Oh do stop saying that! Anyone would think you had a hearing problem! Hercules: (Spluttering) I most definitely do not! Everything about my physique is perfect! Child 15: Like I said, maybe on the outside. But it’s what’s on the inside that is sadly lacking. But don’t worry, we are going to help fix that! Hercules: (Sarcastically) And may I ask how? Child 16: You may! All very simple. You just have to complete 12 simple tasks that we set you. Hercules: (Laughing) Oh I get it! You are going to give me another 12 labours.

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 15 - 20 minutes (without inclusion of music suggestions) Our Narrator has faced some 'mission impossibles' in his time but a Superheroes Assembly without ... Superheroes? Thank goodness there is always an Ancient Greek superhero around when you need him. But bringing out the 'super' in these particular heroes may prove too much of a challenge even for Hercules! Sample Text: Music 1 – Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler (Whole cast file in, in order of speaking, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to (Silence as Narrator waits for cast to respond - nothing but a couple of feeble coughs) (Narrator turns round to face cast, speaking sideways on so that audience can hear) Narrator: What’s going on? Where are all my Superheroes? Superhero 1: Do you mean, us? Superhero 2: If you want a show of superpowers here today, you’re out of luck! Narrator: But why? What’s going on? Superhero 3: More a case of what’s not going on! Superhero 4: ‘Fraid we’re all recovering from colds Superhero 5: And not feeling in the least bit ‘superhero-ish’! Narrator: (Gasping) Oh no! So what am I supposed to tell this audience? Superhero 6: Come back another day? Narrator: No, I can’t do that! As you can see, they’re all here! Superhero 7: Well, sorry, but even superheroes have their off days. Narrator: (Desperately) But not, please, on the day of my assembly! Superhero 8: ‘Fraid so! Narrator: (Clasping head and groaning) Oh no! This cannot be! What a disaster! Music 2 Greased Lightnin’ – Grease (Enter Hercules, performing John Travolta moves) Narrator: Well, good morning! (Looking through notes in confusion) This is … er … a bit of a surprise! (Hercules snatches notes) Hercules: Oh you don’t want to bother with those! Let’s go for a bit of good old fashioned spontaneity this morning! Narrator: Old fashioned? Hercules: Well, maybe a bit more than old. Make that, Ancient. (Pauses) Oh, and Greek! Narrator: You mean, Ancient Greek? Hercules: Exactly! And who better to represent that magnificent race – than myself, the great Hercules? Narrator: Wow! You certainly were a superhero in your time!

Pancake Day Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30. Duration 15 - 20 minutes. Maybe a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? And whoever said flipping a pancake was easy? Definitely time somebody in the kitchen gave up something for Lent - could the belly size of that Master Chef, Monsieur Bon Appetit, be a clue? This is a light-hearted assembly based on Shrove Tuesday - otherwise known as Pancake Day or Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Sample Text: Narrator: Hmm! But the whole point of Shrove Tuesday Chef 13: Is that it’s the last day before Lent! Chef 14: Which is all about giving up things. Narrator: And how long does Lent last? Chef 15: Well, traditionally it’s forty days Chef 16: Between Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday Chef 17: Or around six weeks leading up to Easter. Narrator: OK. So going back to Shrove Tuesday, why the pancakes? Chef 18: Well, I guess they’re a way of using up things like eggs, milk and sugar before this time of fasting? Narrator: (Clapping) Ah! You guess right! Congratulations! So, what are we waiting for? (Enter Master Chef) Master Chef: Or shouldn’t that be, who are we waiting for? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Moi? Narrator: Ah! You must be Master Chef: Monsieur Bon Appetit! Narrator: A fine name Master Chef: For a fine chef! The best! Moi? Je suis magnifique! Narrator: (Aside) And so very humble! (To Master Chef) Monsieur, we are delighted you could join us today! Master Chef: Mon plaisir! (Looking around) So, where is mon cuisine? (Everyone looks around in confusion) Narrator: Er, I think it might be helpful if you could try and stick to English. Master Chef: (Huffily) As you wish! So, where is my pan? Where are my ingredients? Where Narrator: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! We’ve got all that sorted! Look! You have an army of chefs to help you! Master Chef: (Muttering to audience) Hmph! Ever heard the expression ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’? Narrator: Sorry, we didn’t quite catch that! Master Chef: Oh don’t worry! Just saying what a delightful set of helpers I have here today! So, let us start. (Enter Chefs 19 - 28 with ‘kitchen props’; chefs proceed to prepare pancakes under watchful eye of Master Chef, who stands over and checks their every move, occasionally stepping in to show them how it is done ‘properly’)

Lent Assembly or Class Play So, what are you giving up this Lent? As usual, our poor narrator has dubious task of coaxing sensible - make that, any - sort of response out of his reluctant cast! And as for even thinking about giving up chocolate - well, let's just say, the devil knows better! Although there is the usual high quotient of humour in this play, the subject matter is serious - and there is a clear explanation covering what Lent is all about. Duration: approximately 10 minutes reading time - longer with inclusion of mixture of beautiful and comical music. Written for cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Sample Text Child 5: Lent covers a period of forty weekdays – that’s approximately six weeks but not including Sundays. Child 6: During this time Christians traditionally devoted themselves to fasting, abstinence and penitence. Child 7: In other words, leading a less extravagant lifestyle and reflecting on how they could improve themselves. Child 8: You mean, recognising their faults and doing something about it? Child 7: That’s right. Child 9: Hmm. Fair enough. But going without food for forty days? I’m not sure about that one! Child 6: Nah! You remember I used the word ‘traditionally’? Well, Christians have become a lot more relaxed about fasting these days. Most people today just give up something like, well, chocolate for example! Child 10: (Exclaiming indignantly) Chocolate? Going without chocolate for forty days? Are you serious? Narrator: Oh come on! Surely you could survive without chocolate for forty days? Child 10: (Emphatically) I don’t think so! Narrator: Forty hours? Child 10: No! Narrator: Forty minutes! Child 10: (Hesitantly) Hmm, maybe Narrator: (Impatiently) Forty seconds? Child 10: (Triumphantly) Done! Narrator: So let’s talk about what this Lent is all about. (To Child 10) And then we might have some ideas about what to do with you! Why, for example, does Lent last for forty days? Child 11: This was the period of time Jesus spent in the wilderness, fasting and praying, before beginning his public ministry. Child 12: The wilderness? Sounds like a pretty scary place to be! Child 13: It was! Let’s see just how scary it was and how Jesus dealt with it!

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage I Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes depending on how many ‘superhero demonstrations’ there are. The first ‘speaking’ part of the assembly is around 5 minutes reading time. The rest of the assembly is down to the teacher in charge as explained in Production Notes. Cast: Written for cast of 30 but easily adaptable up or down. The cast comprises class teacher as narrator plus children 1 – 30. This assembly or class play is in roughly two parts - the first deals with the qualities of a superhero and how a superhero would change the world; the second is a demonstration of 'superpowers' by different 'superheroes'. It is very much a 'movable feast' - the children can make their own choices re: how they'd change the world; and likewise choose which superheroes they'd like to portray - they can even make up their own. I have thus provided a 'template' which can be adapted according to class numbers and 'members'. Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Superheroes! Narrator: So, for the benefit of our audience, what makes a superhero? Or maybe I should ask the question, what makes a hero super? Child 1: Super powers, of course! Child 2: You can’t do much without them! Child 3: Especially against those horrible baddies! Narrator: So. Let me get this straight. Heroes are always good? Child 4: Right. They fight for what is good in the world Child 5: Against all that is bad! Narrator: That must take a lot of courage! Child 6: That’s why they’re superheroes! Child 7: Brave! Child 8: Strong! Child 9: And determined! Child 10: It’s not always easy being a superhero! Narrator: (To cast) So. If you had the powers of a superhero, what would you do to make the world a better place? Child 11: I would take food to everyone who was hungry. Child 12: I would give shelter to everyone without a home. Child 13: I would hug everyone who feels unloved. Child 14: I would drive around in a Ferrari! Narrator: (Snorting) Oh really! And how is that going to improve the world? Child 14: Well, it would certainly improve mine!

Mutual Respect Assembly - Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading time (not including songs/music suggestions) Another class play on 'Respect' is available for Key Stage I children. Sample Text: (Whole team do ‘high-fives’) Narrator: Good to see team spirit! Child 1: Oh we have plenty of that! We put in so many hours together Child 2: We sure earn each other’s respect! (Exit ‘Olympians’) Narrator: And that is so important! Just imagine if (Enter ‘Footballers 1 - 4’: Child 3, 4, 5 & 6) Music 5 Football Anthem – or theme music to Match of the Day (Footballers kick ball around, in bored, listless manner before dropping to the ground, for a break) (Enter Coach – Child 7, blowing whistle; all four footballers jump to their feet) Coach: Hey! Slacking off already? I don’t think so! Child 3: Oops! Sorry coach! Coach: You will be! Child 4: We were just Child 7: (Interrupting angrily) Yes, I could see! I repeat, slacking off! Not on my watch, you don’t! Now, that will be ten extra laps of the pitch for you! Off you go! (Exit Footballers, grumbling) Narrator: Oh dear! That seemed a bit harsh! Child 7: Oh? And you think if I’d strolled on and said, ‘Oh that’s fine. Don’t mind me! Just keep doing what you’re doing’ – that they’d have one jot of respect for me? Narrator: Well, er .. Child 7: Of course they wouldn’t. It’s not my job to pamper them. It is to make them better players. To give them pride in themselves! Nothing like a bit of discipline to achieve that! Narrator: Oh I couldn’t agree more! I’m all for discipline. Child 7: And respect! Narrator: Oh yes, that as well! Child 7: Nothing like a bit of healthy respect for your team, the opposition and yourself! Narrator: Wow! That’s a lotta respect! Child 7: You can never have too much respect, believe me!

Grammar and Punctuation Assembly Two camps: Grammys and Punks! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes This class play attempts to cover at least the basics of our great English Language - a pretty tough challenge! 'Coverage' includes: Punctuation: Capital Letters Full Stops Exclamation Marks Question Marks Commas Colons Semicolons Brackets Hyphens Quotation Marks Apostrophes Grammar: Nouns Proper Common Collective Abstract Pronouns Adjectives; Verbs Present Past Future Active and Passive Regular and Irregular Adverb; Preposition Conjunction Sample Text Narrator: (Growing increasingly impatient) Yes! Yes! Do please say what you’ve got to say! We do have a few more parts of speech apart from yourself to get through, you know! Grammy 2: (Huffily) Oh very well. I’ll keep it brief! (Punks all cheer) Grammy 2: Well, proper nouns are really just names. (Pauses) There! Is that brief enough for you? Narrator: Excellent! Thank you for that! (To audience) Phew! I thought for one awful moment we were going to be stuck with proper nouns until the end of the assembly! Next! Grammy 3: (Bashfully) Me? Oh I’m just a common noun! Narrator: Oh! Nothing remotely common about you I’m sure! Grammy 3: But that’s what I’m called! Grammy 2: That’s right! I’m proper! And he’s common! Word: Well, there are quite a few other types, like Grammy 4: Collective nouns – for example, a swarm of bees, a herd of sheep Grammy 5: And abstract nouns – things you can’t hold in your hand - like anger, time Narrator: (Looking at watch) Speaking of which, yes, I think that’s enough on nouns! Grammy 6: (Squeaking) But hey! I might be small, but don’t forget me! Narrator: And you are? Grammy 6: I’m a pronoun! Very important I am! Narrator: (To audience) Just like the rest of them! State your business, briefly if you can!