Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage I Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes depending on how many ‘superhero demonstrations’ there are. The first ‘speaking’ part of the assembly is around 5 minutes reading time. The rest of the assembly is down to the teacher in charge as explained in Production Notes. Cast: Written for cast of 30 but easily adaptable up or down. The cast comprises class teacher as narrator plus children 1 – 30. This assembly or class play is in roughly two parts - the first deals with the qualities of a superhero and how a superhero would change the world; the second is a demonstration of 'superpowers' by different 'superheroes'. It is very much a 'movable feast' - the children can make their own choices re: how they'd change the world; and likewise choose which superheroes they'd like to portray - they can even make up their own. I have thus provided a 'template' which can be adapted according to class numbers and 'members'. Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Superheroes! Narrator: So, for the benefit of our audience, what makes a superhero? Or maybe I should ask the question, what makes a hero super? Child 1: Super powers, of course! Child 2: You can’t do much without them! Child 3: Especially against those horrible baddies! Narrator: So. Let me get this straight. Heroes are always good? Child 4: Right. They fight for what is good in the world Child 5: Against all that is bad! Narrator: That must take a lot of courage! Child 6: That’s why they’re superheroes! Child 7: Brave! Child 8: Strong! Child 9: And determined! Child 10: It’s not always easy being a superhero! Narrator: (To cast) So. If you had the powers of a superhero, what would you do to make the world a better place? Child 11: I would take food to everyone who was hungry. Child 12: I would give shelter to everyone without a home. Child 13: I would hug everyone who feels unloved. Child 14: I would drive around in a Ferrari! Narrator: (Snorting) Oh really! And how is that going to improve the world? Child 14: Well, it would certainly improve mine!

Grammar and Punctuation Assembly Two camps: Grammys and Punks! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes This class play attempts to cover at least the basics of our great English Language - a pretty tough challenge! 'Coverage' includes: Punctuation: Capital Letters Full Stops Exclamation Marks Question Marks Commas Colons Semicolons Brackets Hyphens Quotation Marks Apostrophes Grammar: Nouns Proper Common Collective Abstract Pronouns Adjectives; Verbs Present Past Future Active and Passive Regular and Irregular Adverb; Preposition Conjunction Sample Text Narrator: (Growing increasingly impatient) Yes! Yes! Do please say what you’ve got to say! We do have a few more parts of speech apart from yourself to get through, you know! Grammy 2: (Huffily) Oh very well. I’ll keep it brief! (Punks all cheer) Grammy 2: Well, proper nouns are really just names. (Pauses) There! Is that brief enough for you? Narrator: Excellent! Thank you for that! (To audience) Phew! I thought for one awful moment we were going to be stuck with proper nouns until the end of the assembly! Next! Grammy 3: (Bashfully) Me? Oh I’m just a common noun! Narrator: Oh! Nothing remotely common about you I’m sure! Grammy 3: But that’s what I’m called! Grammy 2: That’s right! I’m proper! And he’s common! Word: Well, there are quite a few other types, like Grammy 4: Collective nouns – for example, a swarm of bees, a herd of sheep Grammy 5: And abstract nouns – things you can’t hold in your hand - like anger, time Narrator: (Looking at watch) Speaking of which, yes, I think that’s enough on nouns! Grammy 6: (Squeaking) But hey! I might be small, but don’t forget me! Narrator: And you are? Grammy 6: I’m a pronoun! Very important I am! Narrator: (To audience) Just like the rest of them! State your business, briefly if you can!

Awe and Wonder Assembly Key Stage I (5 – 7 yrs) Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 10 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions and songs). Longer performance easy - with simple addition of more information. Special guests to this class play: two superheroes - invited along to witness 'awesome' and 'wonderful' aka Nature and its superpowers - Who or what can beat a spider's artistry, a rainbow's beauty, the miracle of a butterfly and ... a great Milky Way! Awe and Wonder Assembly/Class Play available for Key Stage II (7 – 11yrs) – on Seven Natural Wonders of the World (Grand Canyon, Great Coral Reef etc). As a special offer, FREE with purchase of this script - a set of lovely photos taken at last year's Sensational Butterflies Exhibition at the Natural History Museum. Drop me a line at sue@plays-r-ussell.com Sample Text: (Enter 4 children in pyjamas) Narrator: Looks like you lot are ready for bed! Child 12: (Pointing up) Star gazing! Child 13: That’s what we’re doing! Child 14: (Sighing) They’re so beautiful! Child 15: (To Narrator) Care to join us? Narrator: Don’t mind if I do! What can you see? (As Narrator is gazing upwards, children share out chocolates among themselves; Narrator suddenly realises he has been ‘duped’) Narrator: Hey! Give me those chocolates! Child 12: But we’re about to tell you about them! Child 13: This one is the name of a group of stars – a galaxy! Child 14: This one is the galaxy we live in – the Milky Way! Narrator: (To Child 15) And this one? Child 15: Well, this one isn’t really a star. It’s a planet – Mars! Narrator: (Taking Mars bar) Well, I’d better have that one, then! (To audience, aside) My favourite!

Love Is .... Assembly This class play on Love looks at what love means to each of us. Although it was written for Key Stage I (5 – 7 year olds) it can easily be adapted for use at Key Stage II (7 – 11 year olds) - the playlist of 10 suggested songs will be enjoyed by all ages. For scripts specific to Valentine’s Day, check out Sue Russell’s alternative Romeo and Juliet scripts. Cast of 25 - easily adapted up or down. Duration - around 15 - 20 mins (potential of doubling this with all music choices) Sample Text: (Enter Child 10, carrying a puppy) Music 7 Puppy Love – Donny Osmond Narrator: Ahh! (Gestures for everyone else to go ‘Ahhh!’) Who can resist a puppy? (Exit Child 10 plus puppy) (Enter Child 11, skipping) Narrator: Wow! Great skipping! You obviously love it! Child 11: And it’s good for me! (Exit Child 11, smiling happily) Narrator: Yes, any form of exercise is good for you! (Enter Child 12) Music 8 Can’t Stop the Feeling – Justin Timberlake (Whole cast singing and dancing) Narrator: And why do you love dancing so much? Child 12: How can you not love dancing? (Exit Child 12 smiling) Narrator: (Trying a few moves) Well, it is good exercise! (Enter Child 13, eating large bar of chocolate) Music 9 Sugar Sugar - The Archies Narrator: Hmm. I’m not sure this is quite so good for you! Child 13: Oh, but I just love chocolate! Who doesn’t? (Exit Child 13) Narrator: (Rubbing tummy) Mmmm. Beginning to feel a bit hungry! (Enter Child 14, reading ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’)

Environment Assembly - what can we do to help? Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down. Narrator plus 29 protestors! And who would have thought our narrator would find himself ... a protestor? Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions). The length of the script can of course be easily extended by adding on more information about man's negative impact on the environment and what we can do to reduce our carbon footprints. Sample text: Protestor 28: We can all do something Protestor 29: Even if it’s just in our own back yard. Narrator: (Applauding) Ah! Now you’re making sense! You see, sometimes I think we look at the big picture Protestor 1: (Interrupting) And feel overwhelmed? Narrator: Exactly! I mean, we all know about global warming, the greenhouse effect, the destruction of rainforests. And I for one think, well, what can I do about it? Protestor 1: And the good news is Whole cast: (Shouting together) Plenty! Narrator: Oh really? Well, you know something? I’m feeling better already! Protestor 2: So, here’s what we can do to help and sustain our world. Narrator: Hold on! Could you just explain what you mean by that last bit? Protestor 2: What? You mean the bit about sustaining our world? Narrator: Yes. If you would, please. Protestor 3: OK. So what we mean by sustaining life on this planet is looking after it in a way or ways which will last. We’re not looking for quick fix solutions which won’t last. Narrator: Excellent. And by ‘life’ Protestor 4: We don’t just mean that of us human beings Protestor 5: But the life of plants Protestor 6: Wildlife Protestor 7: Ecosystems Protestor 8: And habitats Narrator: You mean like the rainforests, the poles, the deserts, the oceans Protestor 9: Well, yes. But there are places far nearer to home that we can make a difference to now. Narrator: (Wiping his brow) Phew! I am so relieved you said that. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed again! Protestor 10: Let’s keep this simple! Narrator: Oh please! That would be a great comfort to me! Protestor 11: So, what can we do in our own back yard? Protestor 12: Clear it up? (Everyone laughs) Protestor 11: You’re right! That’s a good place to start. We all have way too much rubbish! Narrator: So how can we stop that? Protestor 12: How about we start with recycling? Narrator: You mean cycling … in reverse? (Everyone groans) Protestor 12: How about you leave the jokes to us! Though, recycling is no laughing matter. We should all be doing it.

Russian Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - 10 - 20 minutes. (20 mins with inclusion of music suggestions and performances) Script can be further extended to include more information on the country. As always our narrator has his work cut out – kicking off assembly with having to keep bolshy Bolsheviks apart from arrogant tsars. Nothing bolshy about those Bolshoi ballerinas, fortunately - but who invited that mob of unruly Chelsea supporters along?! Normal formula of fun and laughter mixed in with a generous spattering of facts .. demonstrating just how much a country of contrasts Russia is. This script will be adapted to include longer reference to 2018 World Cup, nearer the time. Sample Text: Narrator: That’s better! Now let’s see. (Looking through script) What are a load of Chelsea Football supporters doing here in my Russian assembly? Supporter 1: Oh! Hadn’t you heard, mate? Supporter 2: Heard? Heard what? Supporter 3: That Chelsea Football Club is owned Supporter 4: By a Russian! Supporter 1: One Roman Obramovich! Supporter 2: One of the richest men in the world! Supporter 3: In charge of the greatest team in the world! (Half the cast boo and wolf whistle; and Narrator ushers supporters off before there is trouble) (Exit Chelsea supporters) Narrator: (Sighing) Oh dear! Nothing like lowering the tone of my assembly. It was all so lovely and cultured before that noisy lot turned up! (Enter 2 artists, Marc Chagall and Wassily Kandinsky, setting up their easels and painting, silently) Narrator: Ah! That’s more like it! The silent world of art! And who better to represent it than these two amazing Russian artists Marc Chagall: (Holding up picture of The Fiddler) Marc Chagall! Music 4 Fiddler on the Roof theme tune (Chorus from the musical could be performed either by the artist, Chagall, or someone else in the cast) Narrator: (Applauding) Wonderful! (To second artist, Wassily Kandinsky) And you, sir? Wassily Kandinsky: (Holding up Squares with Concentric Circles) Wassily Kandinsky Narrator: And this artwork is called? Wassily Kandinsky: Squares with Concentric Circles! Why do you look so surprised? Narrator: (Uneasily) Oh just expecting something …er. Em Wassily Kandinsky: (Angrily, snatching up his easel) A little more abstract?

Burns Night Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes (depending on number of music suggestions included). The assembly could be further extended by the addition of some of the poems of Robbie Burns. Who would not want to come to this party? Well, if you're not keen on bagpipes, it could be a problem! But the guest list is pretty unbeatable - with the likes of St Andrew, William Wallace, Mary Queen of Scots, James VI, Robert the Bruce, Walter Scott plus fellow writers, Alexander Bell plus fellow scientists, John McAdam plus fellow engineers, some sportsmen, politicians (fraid so!), that oh so enthusiastic chef (no prizes for guessing what he's served up!), Nessie (of course!) and not forgetting - that guy with the bagpipes .... oh and Robbie Burns!! This script comes with some seriously bad jokes – would definitely get the thumbs down from that other Mr Burns of Simpsons fame! Sample Text (Enter bagpipes player, with loud bagpipe accompaniment) (Everyone groans and cover their ears) Narrator: Stop! Please! I think I’m going mad! Bagpipes player: Och! You need to chill out a little, man! (Takes out bottle of whisky from inside kilt) Here! Have some of this fine Scottish whisky! Nothing quite like it for lessening the old stress levels! Narrator: (Taking the bottle and having a sip) Well as long as it means your volume levels take a corresponding dip! Bagpipes player: Oh to be sure! If that’s what keeps you happy! (Enter Scottish chef carrying tray of haggis) Scottish chef: And here’s something else to warm your inners! (Narrator takes a bite followed by a coughing fit) Narrator: What on earth was that? Scottish chef: Oh! Just a bit of sausage I cooked up! Narrator: Er, something tells me you’re holding back a bit on the description there? Scottish chef: Oh, didn’t I mention? It’s the inner organs of a sheep … cooked in the stomach of a sheep! (Narrator has explosive coughing fit) Scottish chef: Oh, and if you want to know what those organs are, they’re the liver, heart and lungs. Plus a little seasoning! Delicious, eh? (Narrator continues to ‘gag’) Bagpipes player: (To chef) Er, far be it from me to interrupt but I think we’ve had enough description! Scottish chef: Oh very well! (Placing tray on a chair) I’ll leave it here for you all to enjoy. (Whole cast pull faces) (Testily) This is meant to be a Burns celebration, you know! Other Scottish scripts available from Sue Russell. Please note: there is some duplication of content and characters in this script and the St. Andrews Assembly/Class Play.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Take Two - or The Trial of Alice (An alternative version) Insolent, conceited, insensitive, stupid, cruel, dishonest .... surely not the Alice that Lewis Carroll gave us? Read on to find out how false fiction can be in this alternative take on one of our best loved classics. In this one Alice is facing those animals she met ‘down the rabbit hole’ on her first visit – in court! See how she fares under the pressure of the justice system – Wonderland-Style! PLEASE NOTE: This is not a re-telling of the original story. Cast of 30. Duration: Longer version around 20 - 25 minutes; Shorter version around 15 – 20 minutes. Sample Script: Alice: Now look! There’s been some terrible mistake! I’m here to be queen, not prisoner! (Whole court erupts in laughter) Queen: (Holding her sides) Oh dear! This really is turning out to be the funniest day of my life! King: Totally priceless, my dear! Alice: (Sobbing) No! No! This can’t be happening. White Rabbit will tell you it as it is! (White Rabbit just shrugs his shoulders) Alice: Oh no! This has got to be a bad dream I’ll wake up from in a minute! (Alice pinches herself and then cries even more) (Mouse, Duck and Dodo stand up) Mouse: Oh oh! She’s making one of those lakes again! Duck: That’s how she caught us out last time! Dodo: Playing the innocent! Mouse: And then scaring me to death with stories of that cat! Alice: You mean, Dinah? (Mouse starts screaming; other two get him to sit down) Duck: (To King) You see what I mean? Dodo: Ah! She’s not going to get away with it a second time! (King gestures for both to sit down) Alice: Get away with what? Queen: (To King) Does it matter? Off with her head! Alice: I was wondering when you were going to get round to saying that! King: Oh! The cheek! (To jurors) Please note. Offence Number one – Threatening Behaviour Alice: But I King: Offence Number Two – Interrupting Alice: But that’s not fair! King: Offence Number Three – Whingeing and complaining Alice: Hey, wait a minute King: Offence Number Four – Speaking out of turn (Alice is about to say something else but White Rabbit rushes over and puts his paw over her mouth) Queen: (To White Rabbit) Thank you! She really doesn’t know when to shut up, does she? King: No my dear! Not at all like you! Queen: Not at all! Alice: Huh! That’s a joke! Queen: (Screaming) Off with her head! Off with her head! (King ‘calms her down’ before addressing jurors again, both scribbling away trying to keep up) King: Make that Offence Number Five – Being Insolent and Rude and Juror 1: Please slow down a bit. Juror 2: We’re not used to as many offences as this!

Alternative Hamlet guided reading script plus lesson plan and synopses of original story and alternative This script is a conversational piece between 6 speakers. And is also available as part of a collection of four (with additional synopses – of the original and alternative scripts): • Hamlet • Macbeth • Midsummer Night's Dream • Romeo & Juliet off TES and ww.plays-r-ussell.com Sample Text: Speakers: Narrator Hamlet Claudius Gertrude Polonius Laertes Narrator: So, who’s going to tell me what really happened? Hamlet: What do you mean? Everyone knows it was Claudius who killed my father, then married my mother, stepping into my father’s shoes as both husband and king! Gertrude: (Sighing) Oh Hamlet! Can you still not face up to the truth? After all that has happened? Claudius: A pity he couldn’t face up to it before! Polonius: Just think how many lives that would have saved! Mine for one! Laertes: And mine, plus my sister’s. Hamlet: (Sarcastically) And those of my devoted parents? I don’t think so! Gertrude: Oh Hamlet, what did I ever do to deserve such cruel words? What would your father have said? Hamlet: Which one? The one you married in such joyful circumstances,… or the other, whom you married in such disgraceful haste? Gertrude: You know full well, I meant your natural father. He was indeed a fine and noble man. Hamlet: So why did you swap him for this rogue? This devil? This murderer? Laertes: You really didn’t think much of your new father, did you, Hamlet? Hamlet: Huh! And what about yours? Nothing very noble about his snooping around, finding out mischief wherever he could! Just a question of time before that proved his undoing! Polonius: You really do have the most bitter heart! None of us ever bore you any malice. I do wonder where all that inner poison came from – that so poisoned your soul. Hamlet: Well, there was plenty of the real stuff around! Like what killed my father, for example! Claudius: How many more times do you have to be told – it was an accident. There was no foul play. Narrator: I think we need to look at this pretty carefully, as it is this matter of guilt upon which the whole story hinges. It was always my understanding that Hamlet was the hapless victim, driven by revenge for the murder of his father. Claudius: But that’s just it! There was no murder! It was all in his head! Hamlet: Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you? Narrator: So where is your proof, Hamlet? It had better be good or you’ve got a lot to answer for!

8 Shakespeare Group Readers or guided reading play scripts, in style of Readers Theater: Macbeth, Hamlet, A Midsummer Nights Dream, Twelfth Night, Henry V, Romeo & Juliet, Anthony & Cleopatra and The Tempest. These are conversation pieces/discussions on what happened and do not have scenes as in plays. Sample Texts from Set of 8 Shakespeare Plays (no quizzes) Play 8: The Tempest Speakers Prospero Miranda Alonso Ferdinand Aries Caliban Caliban: Phew! The lengths some people will go to right past mischief! Miranda: By which you mean helping my dad's brother, Antonio, to steal his dukedom? And then to put us on a boat to nowhere, in the hope that we'll perish? Caliban: Hmm. Now when you put it like that .... Maybe ‘mischief' doesn't quite cover it! Prospero: I'll say! Theft and then attempted murder! Ferdinand: And yet you still found it in your heart to forgive him? How so? Prospero: By looking at you and my daughter! Love is a great healer!

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Midsummer Nights Dream Alternative Version III This alternative ‘nightmare’ version of Midsummer Night's Dream runs at approximately 50 minutes, has a cast of 25, and a 'wicked' choice of music! This is the third in a series of scripts written by playwright Sue Russell - the first was for a small summer camp group (of 10), the second for an expanded cast (of 17), and this third for a cast of 25. Suitable for children and adults alike - let's hope your director has an easier time of it than mine (alias long suffering teacher!) Theseus: Are you referring to our night's entertainment, my dear? Hippolyta: If you can call it that! From what I've heard .. Theseus: (Interrupting) Ah, never judge a book by its cover! Teacher: (Raising his copy of Midsummer Night's Dream, above the covers) Indeed. You can say that again! Still, nothing's going to spoil anything tonight. Just as long as I stay awake to the end! (Bottom, bouncing onto the stage) Bottom: And we'll sure make sure that there's no falling asleep during our amazing performance! (Joined by Quince, Flute, Snout, Starveling and Snug) Bottom: Or should I say, my amazing performance! Quince: Now, now, Bottom! Remember what I said to you about team spirit! Bottom: (Tutting) Makes it sound more like a game of soccer! I prefer to think of myself as following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt, rather than David Beckham! Lysander: (Laughing) I'm sure either gentleman would be equally honored - to know who was following him! Demetrius: Of course! (Pointing at Bottom) What a fine figure of a man! Hermia: (Crossing her brow with her hand) I grow weak, just looking at him! Helena: (Pretending to faint) Such a man! Such a vision of .... Theseus: (Impatiently) Yes, yes. Could we leave the amateur dramatics to these 6 players please? Hippolyta: (Groaning) Something tells me, this is going to be one long night!

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!

Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

PSHE Guided Reading Scripts (Readers Theater) and Stories - Key Stage II I. How the Butterfly Lost his Bad Temper II. How the Butterfly Lost her Dissatisfaction III. How the Butterfly Lost his Vanity IV. How the Butterfly Learned to Fly V. How the Butterfly Learned to Fly Higher Based on Life Lessons: 1. Appreciate what you have 2. Stop ‘wanting’/looking for more 3. Recognising that external beauty is not everything 4. Just do it! 5. The importance of striving/realising your potential Each story is followed by the guided reading script, then the discussion/question and answer session. The stories and guided reading scripts are 5 – 10 minutes in length. Total reading time: around an hour The 5 guided reading scripts have 2 speakers each – total of 10 altogether. Sample Text - Guided Reading Script Butterfly: Me too! To think what I used to be like! Thank goodness I met you! Snail: And it was the best day of my life when I met you! Butterfly: And to think how rude I was to you? I still can’t believe you didn’t just walk – sorry, slide – off! Snail: And miss out on the best friendship of my life? Oh, I don’t think so! Butterfly: But you couldn’t have known that at the time? Snail: Well, no. But then some things, indeed most things, take time. And that’s a good thing! Butterfly: Yes, my flitting certainly allowed no time for appreciating what I had – or what I might have, if I only stopped still long enough to see it! Sample Text - Story At which point that bad-tempered butterfly paused, quite suddenly; and didn’t move an inch – something unheard of for him. And then, just as suddenly, that bad-tempered butterfly let out a great cry of joy, followed by these words. ‘Wow! My life is indeed amazing! I can fly! I have sunshine in my wings! I ..’ But at that point the bad-tempered butterfly’s expression changed from total delight to …. Well, something closely akin to sadness. ‘Forgive me. I can’t help but look at you and think – you have, well, nothing’.

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage One Cast Size: 25 easily adjusted up or down (Class teacher taking role of Narrator) Duration: Around 5 – 10 minutes This assembly is based on 10 nursery rhymes and, as explained in the production notes, can be seen as a template - adding or replacing rhymes as you see fit. There is a longer assembly available (around 15 - 20 minutes) which has a choice of 20 nursery rhymes - this one is called Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version - and this could also be used by Key Stage II or used as a combined production, between both Key Stages - i.e. as a collaborative piece. Please note: the first half of the extended assembly uses the original 10 rhyme script i.e. just adds on. Sample Text: Narrator: What is that noise? (Enter cat playing fiddle, followed by cow holding moon; dog; and dish holding a spoon) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Hey Diddle Diddle, The cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon; The little dog laughed To see such sport, And the dish ran away With the spoon. (Exit cat, cow, dog and dish) (Everyone uncovers their ears) Narrator: Oh thank goodness for that. I mean, don’t get me wrong – we all like a little music … but not quite like that! (Enter Little Miss Muffet) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; (Enter Spider) There came a big spider, Who sat down beside her And frightened Miss Muffet away. (Exit Little Miss Muffet and Spider) Narrator: (Cowering behind children) Has it gone? Is it safe to come out yet? Whole cast: (Sighing) Yes. The spider’s gone, Miss! (Narrator returns to her former place) Narrator: Huh! Well, that’s fine then. (Pauses) Not that I was ever scared of that wee spider! Nah – just acting along with Miss Muffet there! (Whole cast look at each other, shaking heads) Narrator: (Coughing) Any how! Moving on. (Enter Old Mother Hubbard and her dog) Narrator: Ah! A dear old lady and her wee doggie. (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Old Mother Hubbard She went to the cupboard To fetch her poor dog a bone, But when she got there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. (Collective sympathetic sigh from the Cast) Narrator: Oh dear! Oh we can’t have that! (Narrator rummages around in her handbag and comes up with a bone) (Narrator holds up bone to dog which bounds over to Narrator in delight, barking happily, jumping up and down, and trying to lick her face)

The Queen’s 90th Birthday Party Assembly Special half price to celebrate Her Majesty's Big Day! Whilst 'gracing this assembly' with her presence, the 'party lady' seems just a little reluctant to join in the festivities. So what can our narrator and supporting cast do to change this situation? Well, did someone say it was Her Majesty's 90th birthday? Then, let's hear it for those 90 reasons to celebrate! Sample Text Music 1 Rule Britannia or Land of Hope and Glory (Cast files in with Music 1 in background; all take their seats) Music 2 National Anthem – God Save Our Queen (All stand up) Queen: (To Audience) Do be seated! Ah, how wonderful to be surrounded by my loyal subjects on my birthday! 90 years! Not bad, eh? Narrator: Well, some of us haven’t been around quite that long, your Majesty! But we are here today to celebrate your birthday with you! Queen: Oh I wouldn’t worry too much about that! Narrator: Oh? And why’s that? Queen: (Wistfully) Oh I don’t know. Once one has had as many birthdays as one has .. Narrator: You mean, you’re bored of birthdays? Queen: Well, I’m not quite the party creature I used to be! Narrator: Nonsense! And you know what? That’s what we’re here to prove to you today! Queen: Oh really! Well .. (Queen looks uncertain, shaking her head) Narrator: (To Cast) OK. Time to make Her Majesty’s day! Queen: (Sighing) You can try .. Narrator: Well, with ninety reasons to celebrate your birthday I don’t see how we can go wrong! Whole cast: (Exclaiming together) Ninety? Narrator: You heard! Ninety! And if we’re going to fit those ninety into the next (looks at watch) fifteen minutes, we’d better get a move on! Off we go! Queen: Well, you don’t mind if I make myself comfortable on this here throne? (Queen ‘settles herself comfortably’ onto throne) Queen: Ah that’s better. Do start! Narrator: Well, there are quite a few perks to being Queen, I think you’ll agree? (Queen nods) Child 1: For starters, you get to have two birthdays a year! Can’t be bad! That’s your real one on 21st April and another official one in June!