Writing to Inform, Move From Grade 6 to Grade 9

This resource includes two model pieces of writing, one at grade 6, the other at grade 9.
Apart from the marking criteria, the grade 6 is characterised as such because it has several weaknesses:
It’s too short for 40 minutes of writing
Too many paragraphs start the same way
Too many sentences start the same way
There are few rhetorical devices (MAD FATHERS CROCH)
Although it shows off with commas, it doesn’t show off other punctuation
Although the beginning is a little original, the ending isn’t
Paragraphs are organized, but not crafted for impact

The grade 9 piece is divided into one sentence per slide, to show 3 rhetorical devices in each, which are made explicit.
These are rhetorical devices contained in the mnemonic MAD FATHERS CROCH. The most powerful one of these, in that it helps facilitate most of the others, is the use of Triplets.

There are also two instructional videos for this resource, one aimed at why students get stuck at grade 6. The other is explicit about how to get grade 9.