What this resource includes: Mnemonic to remember rhetorical, persuasive techniques: MAD FATHERS CROCH How to plan an answer 9 skills necessary in a top answer The mark scheme explained Model answer Model answer, annotated and explained Why exam topics will never be interesting Sample topics and question Here is the beginning of the text: Countdown to Grammar Schools I’ll have an opinion please Rachel. And a hyperbole. And another hyperbole. Yes, now an opinion…(repetition) Michael, you have a six letter word: Brexit. Congratulations. Yes, it is now in the dictionary. And Theresa, you have a seven letter word: grammar, where would we be without it? Congratulations, you are today’s winner. (anecdote and humour) And so we sprint towards an uncertain future, stiffened by the shouts of opinion and hyperbole: parents of progress or decline? The countdown clock will tell. (several metaphors, using emotive language, alliteration, contrasting pairs) But what if we count up, instead of down? What if we looked at some numerical facts about grammar schools? What if, unlike the fact-free Brexit debate, everything we needed to know were contained in one place, indeed, one spreadsheet? Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Gov.uk performance tables. Make yourselves at home in a world of facts.* (rhetorical questions, rule of three, creating an enemy, alliteration, emotive language, direct address, metaphor)* Opinion 1: grammar schools increase social mobility. Fact: The number of disadvantaged students in year 11 in selective schools in 2015 was 1389, 4% of their year 11. Social mobility, or mobility scooter? How do these students do? With these cherry picked few, 89% make expected progress in English, and similarly in maths. Not shabby. So, for disadvantaged students, grammar schools could work, if only they could push through the weighted doors. We need to dramatically increase their number. *(fact and opinion, statistics, metaphor, contrasting pairs, emotive language, metaphor, direct address) * By this stage, then, I have already used all the rhetorical techniques in MAD FATHERS CROCH. That’s in the first 215 words. You have 45 minutes, in which you ought to be able to write double this length. If you practise using these techniques, one at a time, they will become second nature to you. Here is an interesting fact for you. Yes, I am an English teacher, but I have only been commissioned to write articles since I published my book on the 15th of August 2016. In other words, the only training I have had in using these techniques is teaching them in class. This means that over the course of year 10 and 11 you can practise them at least as many times as I have.

What this resource includes: Mnemonic to remember rhetorical, persuasive techniques: MAD FATHERS CROCH How to plan an answer 9 skills necessary in a top answer The mark scheme explained Model answer Model answer, annotated and explained Why exam topics will never be interesting Sample topics and question Here is the beginning of the sample text: Model Answer So you want to get rid of school uniform. Perhaps Daddy and Mummy are rich, rich, rich and you want to show us all your designer gear, parading an endless range of just-off-the-shelf splendour and fashion to make your friends praise you and your rivals sick with envy. Direct address, emotive language, anecdote, rule of three, contrasting pairs, metaphor. Creating an enemy. Or perhaps you love lounging about at home in your sportswear, festooned with the right labels, hats and trainers still with their price tags proudly displayed, a sea of pristine white, kept shop-display neat. Repetition, alliteration, anecdote, emotive language, metaphor. Creating an enemy. Or perhaps you have other tribes: you are a Goth, an Emo, you’re indie, a hipster, you’re a dude, a dudette, a geek, a gangsta, or some other made up group you’re so desperate to belong to in your teenage years before adult life ‘ruins’ it all. Hyperbole, repetition, direct address, rule of three, emotive language, metaphor, alliteration. The opening three paragraphs create an enemy through humour.

This story is based on homophobia. My daughter is bisexual, and training to become a teacher. When I released this on video, I was astonished at the number of English teachers who assumed both characters in the story were dislikable, simply because they are both gay. It is also based on the Daphne Du Maurier extract from the 2017 AQA paper. It keeps exactly the same grammar and sentence structure and punctuation. This means that you can rerun all the 2017 questions using this text, to see if your students have learned anything from doing their mock. Here is the beginning. I hope you like it. Twitter Queen Over the face of her keyboard, Regina began a barrage of abuse, and that was usually the way she spent such a brilliant evening – because a Twitter account, and a poisonous tongue and a quiver of quips are just perfect for some social media trolling on a laptop. As she tweeted the world on the web, swigged her wine with one gulp and spat at her victims in 140 characters, Regina decided she could have sold her mother for a viral tweet, something vindictive and destructive and glorious. Regina gazed down at the screen; her fingers were buzzing and furious, the tweets whipping through the ether lacerated her victims with sarcasm and emojis, and their pathetic replies tweeting about this were drowned kittens. Her eyes were blazing hot, and she imagined the tips of her fingers and teeth could be sharpened with cold, mercilessly steel. There was an exponential trend of outraged followers – it seemed to be exploding out of every screen in the city – and each sought the same target, crying so softly, sobbing in her room. Regina laughed delightedly and shrieked at the 10 best tweets from her followers… she felt almost invincible. Inside her power crazed mind, the whole Internet of users across the planet seemed to worship her blank, airbrushed face.

This is a brilliant way to improve students’ vocabulary, learn to write great description, and to plot a narrative. Then there is the fantastic bonus that it makes the quotations from the poem truly memorable. Here is the beginning. I hope you like it. Description/ Narrative Based on Storm on The Island Wizened by hope, the old man sits in the waiting room. His mind dives from the cliffs of cancer - yes, the tests will show if it has spread, Mr Stook - it twirls through fear, spins at the thought of nothing, of nothing waiting beyond the dark, of emptiness, and summersaults towards hope, spread before him like a sunlit lake. Perhaps they have caught him in time. He chuckles optimistically to himself, fingers curled in a ball upon his walking stick, his back stooped by the blows of time, the blasts of age, rounded, like a ball. He thinks, “I ought to be easy to catch!”

Here is the beginning. I hope you like it. The Swindle Kanye was exhausted. Another night shepherding the most photographed woman in the world around the Paris nightlife. Nothing was private. No trips to the patisserie or the boulangerie, no casual stroll to the Eifel tower, no romantic walk along the Seine. No, treats were ordered in; the atmosphere was artificial and air conditioned, in SUVs with blacked out windows. Even the Lamborghini involved endless goes at the outfits, each one posed and carefully styled for Instagram, before he could even turn the engine on. Tanya, the make-up artist, and Tony, the very camp dresser, would be called for 20 minutes before the photographs, taken with professional lighting and made to feel authentic by the hand held iPhone, limited edition – a diamond encrusted gift from Apple. Priceless. Like the jewellery – diamonds from Tiffany’s. Yes, the rich got richer. Everything Kim touched turned to gold, or platinum, or diamond. Always in the headlines, always in the press, but much more importantly, always on social media – Snapchat, InstaG, Facebook, Whatsapp – she might just as well have invented them all. She played them all, like a grand master, moving pieces around countless boards, seeing patterns and moves that took him days to catch on to. She made sure the paparazzi were everywhere, and where they weren’t, her social media stepped in like a presidential campaign. Everything and anything to keep Kim in the news.

Here’s the beginning. Hope you like it. Amarillo Slim So it happens one time in Mindy’s, which is a favourite with many prominent citizens on Broadway, when I get to talking to Amarillo Slim about this and that. Amarillo Slim is well known to one and all on account of his nose for the Vig. Indeed, many have got plenty potatoes following Slim’s nose and like many citizens, I am always happy to put more potatoes in my pockets. I notice Slim is not holding his whiskey and soda, which is his usual liquor, but is holding a bottle of cola which, as most citizens will tell you, does not offer a good time. Slim talks about this and that, being mostly horses, and five card stud, and I notice he has the Daily Post open to a page that has no horses on it. Slim says nothing about this and I ask him about the disappearing whiskey. He says, “you should try this cola, there’s plenty potatoes here.” Slim is not seen at Mindy’s for some time, but I get to think about him anyway, because he leaves behind the Daily Post open to a page on table tennis, which is little followed on Broadway. Indeed, there are many guys and dolls who suppose it is another name for making eyes and sneaking peaks at each other in a crowded restaurant when plans are made without words.

Here is the beginning. I hope you like it. The Act of Killing The killings always happened in bright sunlight. The smell of burning hair brings the first killings straight back to me, and I am five again, thirsty in the hot sun – all of us at break time queuing at the well. No running water. Just down the hill, in a hollow, squatted an open shell of a building– whitewashed walls splashed with blood. Once a month, the snuffling pigs ambled up the path, to the pen. They gathered nonchalantly. Then the show started. First, a hook like a giant question mark was stabbed through a snout. The disbelieving pig was pulled, squealing in shock, and just as suddenly, three shirtless men lifted it. The hook fitted onto a rail above head height. Below, a bucket, for the blood. The screaming pig hung from its snout, legs kicking at the empty air.

Here is the beginning. I hope you like it. Revolver Impossible colours exploded in her head, her skull, her head, her skull. The images flickered like a strobe light, like Morse code, like a stroke…Christ she was high. No, she was low, so low. The song would not come to her; its words fled from her: birds in a field. Did that make her the hunter? Guns. Revolver. She gazed at her tattoo – the revolver was famous, her first. Thousands of fans had copied it in homage to her music, to her pain. Everyone identified with her pain. Was her pain a drug? It fuelled her writing. She didn’t write happy songs did she? No, her voice was the voice of longing, of longing, of longing…she needed another hit. But she should pace herself. Revolver, and the memories revolved in her head. The album had gone platinum, global, crazy, and her life had changed for ever.

Here’s the beginning. I hope you like it. Dear Bedroom, Two years after my mother died, I think of you. When did childhood end? Was it when I gave the eulogy, told the impossible, hilarious, tragic, extraordinary life she had? There were earlier endings. At five, my grandmother died, and I didn’t speak for a week. You remember me then, in the womb of your white walls, weeping, kicking against the sides, against the tides, against death. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Leaving Spain was another death – when dad left, and mum started dating the bank robber, and the dream of Disneyland died, our savings taking us only as far as Canada – right continent, wrong country. I didn’t say goodbye, or send you a postcard from the border, leaving the sun and crossing into the snows. Nor a photograph, a snapshot of me ballooning to eleven stone: ten years old, and a giant snowball of a kid, out of place. Yes, that was a kind of ending, but really, I think the damage was already done, further back, when you still knew me.

Here’s the beginning. I hope you like it. The Face I don’t think you understand, do you? I mean, how could you, how could you possibly? I suppose, when you look at me, when you truly look at me, you don’t really see what’s there. That’s the point. My eye, how it fixes you with an open stare, how it dares you to look away. You’re not used to that, are you? You remember me. Everyone remembers me. England’s queen of starts, going on the B of Bang. The gold medals, always the gold medals, the impossible comebacks. 2020, 2024. I’m a legend, a national treasure, an inspiration. And of course the honours – Sports Personality of the Year, twice, Dame: Kathy Stringer, invincible, indomitable, incredible me.

Here’s the beginning. Hope you like it. Something wasn’t right. The van didn’t belong here. It stood out, orange in the sun’s haze, and seemingly brand new. Although it’s windows were clean and unbroken, in dramatic contrast to the house, I could see no one inside. Yet the engine growled menacingly, like some hunting leopard, crouched in the scorched grass. Standing miserably beside the VW was a dilapidated house, squashed and ripped, a toddler’s discarded Christmas present chucked away as soon as opened. The windows, cracked into sharp and jagged pieces, looked out at me like a miserable face. Its brickwork appeared shoddy, built by workmen who knew they wouldn’t be paid much for doing a good job. One sad door hung on its hinges, groaning like a teenager watching a black and white film. Above, the roof sagged and decayed, revealing wooden struts to the merciless midday sun.

Here’s the beginning. Hope you like it. Tycoon I loved being a Geezer, a wheeler, a dealer. Loved it. Every Christmas we’d celebrate; a great family get together. And I was always The Man, Top Dog, El Numero Uno. I started out in stations, really small. You’d barely notice me: one more ant in the ant hive. Nostalgia was my USP then. I set up as a shoe shine boy and many passengers enjoyed the anachronistic joke. I made a few bob. But coins, and I wanted some of the folding. Who doesn’t love money? The crisp feel of it, fresh out of the bank. And then it hit me. The Victorians. Top hats, bowler hats, starched collars, canes. I started to dress the part, and the customers began to flood in. What next? Moved to a bigger station: King’s Cross, then franchised a mate in Euston.

Here is the beginning: Princess Mathilde and Cupid’s Arrow Mathilde knew she looked amazing. But then it was her duty as a princess. She loved being the centre of attention, loved dressing up: the chiffon and silk; the velvet, the fun of display. She was a girl, wasn’t she? She was sixteen. Her father, the warrior king, McArthur Glen the Great, was a wonderful father, she had to admit, but he was still first and foremost a king. And a king is bound by tradition, much the same as a princess. So, today was Suitor Day, when the 16-year-old princess must begin the long and frustrating selection of a husband. They would compete for her in an archery contest. Problem number one: she was beautiful, but Mathilde didn’t want a husband. Problem number two: the suitors on offer, even if she had been in the market to buy, wouldn’t have made her part with a bag of farthings, let alone gold. Jacob the Just from the McDuff clan was ‘duff’ by name and nature, and ‘Just’ about had a brain, was skinny and ‘just’ barely male.

This resource includes a typically uninspiring picture. How to plan. How to write a description which lasts only a few seconds, so does not turn in to a narrative. How to select an interesting viewpoint. A model answer, around 500 words long. The marking criteria. An explanation as to why it is grade 9.

What the resource Includes: 5 Steps; Just tell me what to do. Model answer 444 words Model answer 550 words Model answer annotated for descriptive techniques What do I have to do to get 100%? How to be original: Breaking the Vase How to adapt the description to a series of photographs in the exam: Here’s how mine might start if the photograph were of a train. Or imagine it was the park. Or, the ultimate vase breaking, you can simply have it as the photo in the room. Imagine a photo of a road. What does the examiner really want? 21 ways to look at Descriptive Techniques and Interesting Writing (More Than Just SOAPAIMS)

What the resource includes: How do you get ideas from the news. 8 story writing ideas from the news How to pick a news story to turn into a narrative Model answer using Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Model answer reworked so it is only 500 words long What the examiner wants 8 Things great writers do, explained 9 steps to writing your story

What the resource includes: 13 Steps: Just tell me what to do. These steps will make sure any story or description is at least grade 7 Sample question What does the mark scheme say? Translated for students to understand. Model Answer, at under 600 words, possible for a student to write under exam conditions. The Importance of Planning the Ending - this is much easier than planning the whole story, especially under exam conditions. 11 things the model teaches, and that the examiner really wants Where do ideas come from? Guidance on how to get started. 3 great jokes

This resource includes: Timing of Questions Paper 1 Exam Tactics Timing of Questions paper 2 Explanation of Grade 8: Critical reading and comprehension Reading skills checklist for papers 1 and 2 Grade 8 Writing Skills Papers 1 and 2 How the Grades 8 and 9 are Calculated 8 Reasons not to read the exam paper first, before you start answering questions The importance of handwriting The importance of spelling The marking tolerance per question, which shows why spelling and handwriting are so important