Risk and Danger Assembly or Class Play

Risk and Danger Assembly
Perhaps first thing I should point out is that this assembly poses absolutely zero risk to the general public! And I include audience and cast in that statement!
Cast of 30, duration around 10 - 15 minutes not including music suggestions:
1. Dangerous – Michael Jackson
2. Take a Chance – Abba
3. Superstition – Stevie Wonder
4. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
5. Oops I did it Again – Britney Spears
This script maintains an element of fun throughout what is quite a serious theme. The Narrator certainly thinks so, armed with Health & Safety Directive! But it also looks at the lives of some of our greatest heroes - and how they had to forsake 'risk assessment' (did they have that in Horatio Nelson's day?!) in favour of sheer valour. Some great quotes - thank you Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Woody Allen, among others. Oh and of course the great Julius Caesar for providing some much needed action!
Following is feedback from customer who requested I write this script: ‘Love, love, love it thank you so much! I highly recommend Sue's Plays class assemblies. They are clever, witty and the children have so much fun performing them! Sue wrote a fabulous class assembly to meet my specific title and got it to me within one day. I was overwhelmed with Sue's quick response and attention to detail. Thank you, Phil.’
Feedback like this keeps me writing - HUGE thank you to Phil!
Sample Text:
Narrator: And you all have statues of yourselves in London, am I right?
(All nod)
Richard the Lionheart: But we didn’t all die comfortably in our beds!
Narrator: (Sighing) I just knew I could hear a but coming!
Horatio Nelson: But don’t you see?
(Passes telescope from ‘bad’ eye to good)
Ah that’s better! What was I saying?
Sir Thomas More: I think you were trying to say, none of us could have achieved what we did in our lifetimes, without taking some risks.
Narrator: (Aghast) Risks? You mean, you took more than one?
Mary Queen of Scots: (Impatiently) Of course we did! You can’t go through life all wrapped up in cotton wool
Boadicea: Even if it means you do come to a somewhat sticky end!
Narrator: Ooh! Not on this stage, please!
(Julius Caesar stumbles onto the stage, with ‘dagger in his chest’)
Julius Caesar: Et tu, Brute!
(Julius Caesar collapses in a heap)
(Tumultuous applause from the whole cast)
Narrator: (Tutting) So much for 'Famous last words'!
(Exit everyone except Narrator, moping his brow)
Narrator: Oh dear! And after all that risk assessment I did earlier today – and I still manage to get carnage on the