I have just started adding my plays to TES (over 400)!but this will take time! All my assemblies/class plays and guided reading scripts are on www.plays-r-ussell.com and I am happy to write on request. I have converted the entire History Key Stage II curriculum into play format - and much of the other subjects such as Science, Geography, PSHE etc. I cover events such as the Olympics and have received great feedback from teachers around the world! Writing is my passion - hope you enjoy my work!
I have just started adding my plays to TES (over 400)!but this will take time! All my assemblies/class plays and guided reading scripts are on www.plays-r-ussell.com and I am happy to write on request. I have converted the entire History Key Stage II curriculum into play format - and much of the other subjects such as Science, Geography, PSHE etc. I cover events such as the Olympics and have received great feedback from teachers around the world! Writing is my passion - hope you enjoy my work!
The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain Play – an adaptation of the Charles Dickens Novella
Cast of 14 plus
Duration: Around 30 minutes
The lesson of the story is summed up by the Narrator:
Maybe had we, like Mr. Redlaw, been presented with the chance of losing all mental anguish, then we may have been tempted to make the same choice as he did. But as I hope we have learned from his experience, some of the best moments in our lives come strangely from what we might see as things we would rather forget. We learn from such moments how to appreciate what has gone before or after; and so we come to understand that we need the whole picture of our lives, not just the good bits, to make us appreciate and realise what we have and who we are.
Sample Text
Mrs. Tetterby: (To husband) And to think I could have held hopes of a happy future with you! (Wailing) Why oh why did I ever think it would be a good idea to marry you? What possible gain did I hope to achieve? Biggest mistake of my life!
Mr. Tetterby: And for me, too! You needn’t think yours was the greater sacrifice! I was undoubtedly short-changed!
(Aside) Just look at this wife of mine! Talk about past your sell-by date! Fat, ageing. I should find myself another woman!
Mrs. Tetterby: (Aside) Look at that husband of mine! Common-looking, small, stooped, going bald. He really doesn’t have a lot going for him!
(To husband) And as for these children – they will be the death of me! And that might be sooner rather than later.
Mr. Tetterby: Poor people like us shouldn’t have children – given how little pleasure they give us!
Narrator: (Gasping) Are these really the same people we saw before? (Sighing) It seems we need nothing short of a miracle to reverse this unfortunate situation.
(Enter Millie)
(Everyone passes a hand across their foreheads; and suddenly start smiling again)
Narrator: Did I just say a miracle? Could Millie be our guardian angel? Judging by the total change in atmosphere, I’d say a very definite yes!
Mr. Tetterby: (Exclaiming) What was I thinking? What madness came upon me to speak to you, Sophia, my little woman, so?
Mrs. Tetterby: No, but it is I who should beg your forgiveness! How could I say such things? What was I thinking?
Mr. Tetterby: But, what state of mind was it to make me behave in such a way as to break your heart, with such hurtful words?
This is one of a series of plays based on Charles Dickens’ books, What the Dickens!
• A Christmas Carol
• Oliver Twist
• David Copperfield
• Great Expectations
• A Tale of Two Cities
• The Battle of Life
• The Chimes
• The Cricket on the Hearth
Peter and the Wolf – an adaptation, suitable for Readers Theatre, Guided Reading or as a Short Play
Cast of 10
Narrator
Peter
Grandfather
Duck
Little Bird
Cat
Wolf
Hunters – 1, 2 and 3
Duration:
Around 10 minutes not including teaching input and discussion which will add at least another 15 minutes.
This script has simple text, suitable for Lower Key Stage II (7 – 10 year olds); and can be just a straightforward reading or ‘instrumentalized’ – as per the original, as explained in the Production Notes.
Sample Text
Narrator: (Coughing) Well, we are going to try and tell some of that tale
(Aside) That’s if this lot let me get a word in edgeways!
Peter: So, that’s everyone introduced! Let’s get on with the action!
Grandfather: (Grumbling) Always so headstrong! So
Narrator: (Interrupting) Yes, you certainly had your work cut out with that one!
Grandfather: You can say that again! Never listened to a word I said
Peter: Oh, but that’s not true, Gramps! I did listen – it’s just, I er, well
Little Bird: Kept forgetting?
Cat: (Sarcastically) Bit of a bird brain?
Duck: (Angrily) Careful what you say!
Wolf: (Snarling) Or? Or what, little duck?
Narrator: (Intervening quickly) Now, now! No need for
Hunter 1: Violence!
Hunter 2: Aggression!
Hunter 3: Foul play!
Duck: (Repeating) Foul play? I hope not
Little Bird: (Interrupting) No, not fowl play! Foul play! With a ‘u’!
Narrator: Which is all very interesting, but
Grandfather: Look! Whilst you’ve all been twittering on, my grandson has escaped
Bleak House Play adaptation
Did someone, somewhere, once say ‘Where there’s a will there’s a way’? … Wrong! They obviously hadn’t read Bleak House and the case of Jarndyce and Jarndyce!
This script can be used by a small group of five or a whole class of 30.
With the job of narration shared by an extremely *non-neutral narrator and co-presenter who is the story’s heroine, this is a fun account of one very complicated story – don’t worry, it has been simplified!
*P.S. I hope nobody in the legal profession reads this – I’ve heard slander can be costly!
Cast
Group of 5 or Cast of 20 - 30
There are 30 speakers in total, divided up between seven scenes.
There are 13 named characters plus 6 lawyers (in the first scene) and the Narrator – i.e. 20 speakers in all.
So the actual cast size is somewhere between 20 and 30 – though this number can be easily adjusted by e.g. reducing or increasing the number of lawyers – I have used 6 lawyers in the first scene just to round up the total number of speakers to 30.
However, the script could be read by a group of 5, obviously adapting different roles in each scene.
Duration:
Around 35 minutes
Nicholas Nickleby Panto
This is an adaptation of the Nicholas Nickleby Play – converting the original script that I wrote into one that could be used at Christmas, as a pantomime. The villainous Ralph; the ridiculous, Panto Dame-like Mrs. Nickleby; the cheery, comic contribution of the Cheeryble Brothers – all seemed to offer the ideal opportunity to write such an adaptation.
This script includes most of the normal pantomime ‘features’ apart from the normal ‘singing element’ - the playlist suggestions (music that is used to introduce each scene) could be adapted to include some singing by the cast. At the time of writing this script, November 2020, England along with a number of other countries, is in Lockdown due to COVID 19 and sadly, singing is one of those ‘prohibited activities’. Hopefully, singing will return in the future but for now, this seems like the best option.
Cast of 30
Duration – around 90 minutes. This is only a rough estimate as it depends how much music is included.
Sample Text:
Music – I Love to Laugh – Mary Poppins
Scene VII London
Narrator: Now, this is the kind of company you want to keep – and work for!
(Enter the two Cheeryble brothers, Charles and Ned)
Charles: Welcome, sir!
Ned: Yes, a warm welcome to anyone who steps within our workplace!
Narrator: And a thriving business it is, too!
Charles: Only as good as its workers.
Narrator: And I’m guessing, they’re more than happy to work for an employer like you!
Charles: Oh, don’t be forgetting my brother, Ned! We have an equal partnership, happily going under the name of
Charles & Ned: (Together) The Cheeryble Brothers!
Narrator: You certainly are a pair of cheerful chappies!
Charles: We are that, all right! And, looking on from the wings, it did occur to us that er, well, how shall I put this?
Ned: Let me say it for you! This script of yours is just a little on the serious side?
Narrator: Well, of course it is. Charles Dickens may have been many things
Charles: (Interrupting) But not a stand-up comedian?
Narrator: Certainly not! And thank goodness for that! Way too many of them around today, if you ask me!
Ned: You think so? Hmm. Well, it just so happens
Narrator: Oh, please don’t tell me that’s what you two do, in your spare time?
Charles: Not just in our spare time, as it so happens! We have quite a reputation
Charles & Ned: (Together) Us Cheeryble Brothers!
Narrator: (Groaning) Oh no! (Waving script in the air) This certainly wasn’t in the script!
Charles: And what a dull, dreary script it is!
Ned: We’re going to change that
Sample of Music Suggestions – to introduce each scene
Money Money Money – Abba
Food Glorious Food – Oliver
We Don’t Need No Education – Pink Floyd
Fashion – David Bowie
All Night Long – Lionel Ritchie
The Boys are Back in Town – Thin Lizzy
I Love to Laugh – from Mary Poppins
Love is in the Air – Tom Jones
Who are you? The Who
Persuasion
This play can either be used for performance (Class Play or Assembly) Cast of 30
or
as a set of guided reading scripts/readers theatre within the classroom- 5 scenes – 6 speakers each
Duration
Around 20 minutes reading time. Inclusion of discussion time will add on around another 10 minutes.
This ‘Quickie Classic’ was written as a precis of the original book into a 30 minute reading/discussion session. The principal characters, guided by a narrator, effectively talk us through the story – with, of course, a few of their own opinions thrown in!
Other ‘quickie classics’ in this series include such writers as Charles Dickens (classics and Christmas novellas), Orson Welles (The Time Machine), Robert Lewis Stephenson (Treasure Island) and Oscar Wilde (The Happy Prince, Selfish Giant etc).
Sample Text
Scene I/Chapter I Background
Cast of 6
Narrator
Anne
Sir Elliot
Lady Russell
Mr. Shepherd
Captain Wentworth
Narrator: So, let’s start with a little background to this story entitled
Lady Russell: (Interrupting) Persuasion!
Narrator: (Huffily) I’d appreciate you not interrupting me, madam.
Lady Russell: Oh, but I can tell everyone all there is to know!
Narrator: Undoubtedly, madam. But I don’t think anyone here will be in a hurry to take any advice from you.
Sir Elliot: Whatever do you mean? I’ll have you know that Lady Russell was my late wife’s greatest friend and I would never hesitate to follow any advice she might give.
Narrator: And therein lies the problem! We should always question other’s advice even when it’s totally well intentioned as in the case of Lady Russell here.
Anne: Well-intentioned doesn’t make it right, as I discovered to my cost!
Capt. Wentworth: But you were just nineteen years of age. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Anne: But taking that advice cost us seven years of being together!
Capt. Wentworth: It’s true. We should never have let anything come between us. But that’s water under the bridge now, my dear.
Mr. Shepherd: And you weren’t to know you weren’t being given the very best of advice.
The Time Machine – H.G. Wells
This play can either be used for performance (Class Play or Assembly) Cast of 26
or
as a set of guided reading scripts/readers theatre within the class room- 5 scenes – 6 speakers each (with the exception of Scene 4, just 2.
Scene I Scientist Home – Dinner Party minus host (awaiting arrival)
Scene 2 Meet the Eloi
Scene 3 Meet the Morlocks
Scene 4 Escape – to the end of the world
Scene 5 Scientists Home – Dinner Party plus host
Total Reading Time – around 30 minutes
This is one of a series of ‘Quickie Classics’ – for those who wish to dip their feet without committing to total immersion! Other such ‘Quickie Classics’ include the works of Charles Dickens (including favourites such as Great Expectations, David Copperfield, A Tale of Two Cities) Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stephenson, Persuasion, Jane Austen and classic stories by Oscar Wilde including The Happy Prince and The Selfish Giant.
Sample Text
Scene 1
Scientist’s Home – Dinner Party minus host (awaiting arrival)
Narrator
Friend
Mayor
Medical Man
Psychologist
Journalist
Narrator: Well, this is all very charming. But where is our host?
Friend: Oh, probably still a million years away!
Mayor: (Testily, looking at his watch) Well, I for one haven’t all the time in the world!
Medical Man: That’s a shame!
Psychologist: Did nobody warn you we might have rather a long wait?
Journalist: Communication does not seem to be our host’s strong point!
Friend: Well, even he cannot be in two places at once!
Mayor: How very inconvenient!
Medical Man: Well, as a human being, he does have certain limitations!
Psychologist: Though these be physical rather than psychological limitations, I would suggest.
Journalist: Same difference!
Psychologist: Oh, not at all! The mind can take you places where your body could not possibly follow!
Journalist: Now, that bit makes sense!
Narrator: Yes, it’s a great gift to have an imagination.
Journalist: A what? Oh, you mean just making things up as you go along? Yes, that too makes sense to me!
Mayor: (Uneasily) I trust your interviews are carried out in a less cavalier manner?
Journalist: Oh, they are.
Friend: It’s just what follows that
Journalist: Has a little fine tuning!
Medical Man: Just as well we don’t all operate like that!
Psychologist: (Laughing) Particularly in your case!
Friend: (Laughing) No, we certainly wouldn’t want you taking ‘any short cuts’ on the operating table!
A Collection of Seven Fairy Tales, adapted to Reader’s Theater, originally written by Brothers Grimm, and given a wee twist by Sue Russell.
*As explained below, these scripts are available separately – but together, this collection offers a 60% discount.
Rumpelstiltskin
Rapunzel
Little Red Riding Hood
Hansel and Gretel
Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty
Snow White
These plays each have a cast of 6.
Reading time varies between 10 – 15/20 minutes.
With synopsis, teaching input, discussion and suggestions for further activities.
*These scripts are available as separate plays (without Readers Theater adaption i.e. with music suggestions and stage directions).
Sample Text from Rumpelstilskin:
Narrator: Good morning. And welcome to one of our favourite fairy tales
Rumpelstiltskin: Rumpelstiltskin! That’s me!
Narrator: A veritable fiend! Villain! Crook!
Rumpelstiltskin: (Interrupting) Er, wait a minute! Are we talking about the same fairy tale?
Narrator: Well, I think so. Weren’t you the horrible little
Rumpelstiltskin: (Interrupting) Could you be just a tiny bit less offensive? I mean, ‘horrible’, ‘little’. Aren’t there any rules on political correctness here?
Narrator: (Apologetically) Oh I’m sorry. You’re right.
I’ll try not to follow this script I have here, quite so much
Rumpelstiltskin: Here! Let me take a look at that! (Snorting) Pah! As I thought! Those Brothers Grimm! The way they described their characters! They’d never get away with it today! ‘Little man’ indeed! How would they like to be vertically challenged?
Narrator: You know, I do sympathise with you. I think you have a right to feel the way you do!
Rumpelstiltskin: Well, thank you
Narrator: But that doesn’t completely excuse your behaviour.
Rumpelstiltskin: (Exploding) My behaviour? What about that of the king and the girl’s own father?
The Old Curiosity Shop – a Reader’s Theatre Adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Novel
Cast of 6, Duration around 20 minutes
Sample Text:
Narrator: Good morning!
Grandfather: And a very good morning to you! Welcome to the Old Curiosity Shop!
Tell me, what priceless items of curiosity can I interest you in, today, sir?
Quilp: (Sneering) Priceless? I’d say just about anything you have to say is priceless!
Nell: What a vindictive, cruel man you are, Mr. Quilp!
Kit: In such stark contrast to you, dear Nell!
Quilp: Ooh, I’m beginning to feel nauseous, already!
Dick: What is it about pure goodness that you find so hard to stomach, Quilp?
Quilp: Just that! Pure goodness – ugh! Enough to make anyone feel nauseous!
Grandfather: To you, maybe, Quilp! But then, thankfully, most of the rest of mankind don’t think and feel like you do.
Quilp: You know, for once, I am going to have to agree with you. I am in a league of my own (pauses) and proud of it!
Nell: How can you be proud of (pauses)
Quilp: (Interrupting) Let me help you! Evil or just plain badness, will they do?
Swiveller: We all know full well the depths of your depravity!
Quilp: (Gleefully) Ooh! I like it! Do go on!
This adaptation of Dickens’ novel was written for a small cast suitable for Reader’s Theater or guided reading and is intended as an introduction, facilitating access to a wonderful novel which, time allowing, should be read in its entirety. A synopsis is provided, which gives a sufficient understanding of the plot in order to enjoy their assigned characters.
The script has been given a different ending –happier and more optimistic than that of the original novel. This twist was done in order to give certain a second chance – even if their redemption is only partial and possibly temporary – it does, after all, take time to change from bad to good! It seemed only fair that, if Dick Swiveller was given this chance at redemption, so too should Quilp. But maybe that’s for others to decide. The writer prefers a happy ending, which is rather more typical of Dickens’ other works, and feels there is a lot to be said for giving everyone a second chance.
This is one of a collection of scripts based on the novels of Charles Dickens. The following are all available both as ‘performance plays’ (with music, stage directions etc) and Reader’s Theatre scripts.
• Oliver Twist
• Great Expectations
• David Copperfield
• A Tale of Two Cities
• Nicholas Nickleby
• Bleak House
• Hard TImes
Hard Times adapted to Readers Theatre from the original Charles Dickens Novel
Cast of 12
Duration around 15 minutes
Sample Text:
Narrator: And so, we come to Dickens’ shortest novel!
Cast: (Cumulative sigh of relief)
Narrator: But you needn’t think I’m going to let you off that lightly!
Cast: (Grunts, mutterings)
Narrator: No. We still have a story to tell.
Mr. Gradgrind: And characters to portray. As they were, of course. Nothing fanciful
Louisa: (Groaning) Or even, dare I say it, imaginative. Perish the thought!
(Sighing) Father, I thought we had dealt with this!
Sissy: We have! All of us! But old habits die hard, am I right, Mr Gradgrind?
Tom: (Excitedly) Die Hard, did I hear you say? Oh, I’m definitely up for that!
Blackpool: Hey! Calm down, fella! I don’t think Sissy meant that amount of action!
Mr. Sleary: What a shame! I’ve always said a lot needs shaking up around here!
Bounderby: And some of us don’t wish this to turn into a total circus!
Harthouse: (Sarcastically) Oh very droll! Though coming from you, it was bound-to-be!
Bounderby: Touche, Mr. Harthouse! Always trying to out-do me! You’re right, Miss Sissy – some habits do die hard, very hard.
Mrs. Peglar: Well, we are going to try to put things to right, today, are we not?
Rachel: Yes, I thought that was the whole point of this tale.
Mrs. Sparsit: What, changing the way people behave?
Narrator: Indeed, Mrs. Sparsit.
Mrs. Sparsit: You mean, setting our houses in order? Oh, I’m first-class at that!
Narrator: (Sighing) You may be a first-rate housekeeper, Mrs. Sparsit. But I do believe there are certain ways of yours that we could happily do without?
Bounderby: Like learning to mind your own business! We could start with that one.
Mrs. Sparsit: (Exclaiming) So that the likes of you could get away with
Bounderby: (Interrupting) Being a little economic with the truth? Well, yes, I suppose
Mrs. Peglar: I’ll second that! Fancy denying your own mother?
Tom: And making up all those lies about your childhood?
Rachel: Well, that’s rich, coming from you who didn’t think twice about framing my friend, Stephen Blackpool, for something he never did!
Tom: Someone had to take the blame and, well, he was just a Hand!
Narrator: A Hand, you say? Meaning?
Mr. Gradgrind: Ooh allow me. I just love definitions!
This is one of a collection:
• Oliver Twist
• Great Expectations
• David Copperfield
• A Tale of Two Cities
• Nicholas Nickleby
• Bleak House
• The Old Curiosity Shop
All adapted to Readers Theater – most also available as performance plays.
Christmas novellas are currently in play format (will shortly be revised to Reader’s Theater – in the meantime, easily ‘tweaked’!):
• A Christmas Carol
• The Battle of Life
• The Chimes
• The Cricket on the Hearth
• The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain
Winter Olympics Quiz 1924 - 2022
Another Winter Olympics resource - to add to my class play and set of guided reading scripts - all updated to 2022 with over 100 questions - with answers provided! Here’s a sample:
Winter Olympics Quiz
I. 2018 Winter Olympics – PyeongChang, South Korea
II. Previous Winter Olympics – Russia 2014
III. A History of the Winter Olympics 1924 – 2014
IV. Memorable Moments from Past Olympics
V. Winners and Record Breakers
Sample Text:
I. 2018 Winter Olympics – PyeongChang, South Korea
1. What animal is the 2018 mascot, Soohorang, based on?
2. What is the connection between the length of the torch and PyeongChang?
3. How many events will there be?
4. How many sports?
5. Can you name four of these?
II. 22nd Winter Olympics – Russia 2014
1. Around how many countries are taking part?
2. How many sports/disciplines are being played?
3. How many events are there?
4. How many more is this than for the last, 2010, Winter Olympics?
5. What are the three animal mascots for 2014?
III. A History of the Winter Olympics 1924 – 2010
1. How often are the Winter Olympics held?
2. When was the first one held?
3. What Games took place before the Winter Olympics?
4. Where were they first held and when?
5. In what country were the first Winter Olympics held?
IV. Memorable Moments from Past Olympics
1. What is the Olympic motto?
2. Who won six perfect sixes in 1984?
3. What music accompanied them?
4. Who came last in both his ski jumping events in 1988 but still managed to steal the hearts of the British public?
5. Who held up the awards ceremony in 1998 for the 10km Cross Country?
V. Winners and Record Breakers
1. Which country won the most medals at the first Winter Olympics?
2. Which country is the top medal scorer to date?
3. How many have they won?
4. Which country is the next highest medal winner to date?
5. How many medals have they won?
Also available:
Winter Olympics Class Play or Assembly
and
Winter Olympics Guided Reading Plays
Set of *5:
1. 22nd Winter Olympics, Russia, 2014
2. A History of the Winter Olympics 1924 – 2014
3. Memorable Moments from Past Olympics
4. Winners and Record Breakers
5. What it takes to be a winner – this is a collection of 5 plays based on P.R.I.D.E. which stands for: POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE, RESPECT, INTELLIGENT CHOICES, DREAMS AND GOALS and EFFORT AND EDUCATION
Aladdin Class Play or Assembly
Aladdin. This story could almost have been called A Tale of Two Genies – one that could be summoned via a lamp, the other by a ring. Yes, there was a poor lad called Aladdin who, under the instruction of an evil magician, found the lamp and used it to make himself rich; and then lost everything – all because he didn’t tell ‘his princess’ where his money had come from. But none of this would have happened … without the genies – masters themselves not just in the way of magic but in the art of certain social skills – namely good manners and the importance of sharing one’s good fortune – particularly relevant at Christmas - The emboldened text indicates relevance to Christmas but can be omitted for the rest of the year. The key message behind this script is the importance of sharing.
Duration
15 minutes without the inclusion of the music suggestions
Cast of 15
Sample Text
Music 12 You Ain’t Seen Nothin Yet – Bachman-Turner Overdrive
(Enter Genie 2)
Genie 2: You called, master?
(Aladdin and his mother both jump in surprise)
Genie 2: Your wish is my command!
Aladdin: Really? Well, in that case … (Pauses). Wait. I’ll make you a list!
(Aladdin marches Genie 2 off stage, with his mother following behind)
Narrator: So. Let us see how Aladdin sees fit to enjoy his new fortune.
Music 13 Money Money Money – Abba
(Enter Aladdin in rich clothing, arm in arm with the Princess, followed by the Sultan and Aladdin’s mother, with a weary Genie 2 bringing up the rear)
Narrator: Well, well, well! That didn’t take him long! Fine clothing, a fine wife (pauses, then points) not to mention a very fine palace over there!
Sultan: (Happily) Hasn’t my princess done well! And just when I was about to give up on her ever finding a husband!
Narrator: (Aside) Strikes me, it’s Aladdin who’s done well (pauses) and all credit to
Genie 2: (Yawning) Me! When I said ‘Your wish is my command’ I hadn’t reckoned on (pauses) well, I lost count of the number of things he commanded.
Narrator: Commanded?
Genie 2: Oh yes! Not one single please or thank you! (Sighing) That’s the youth of today for you!
Narrator: What a bad example – for today’s youth, I mean. I am surprised. You’d have thought
Genie 2: (Interrupting) Yes, I know. Coming from such poverty and all.
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Not exactly a laugh a minute, this one. But we do manage to salvage a happier ending for this particular script.
Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down)
Duration around 35 minutes not including the music suggestions
Despite its melancholy tone, there are some lighter moments … if you look carefully enough!
Sample Text:
Music 10 Thriller Michael Jackson
(Crew performing macabre routine ��� transforming into ghouls)
Narrator: Hey! Wait a minute. (Holding up script) According to this there were only 2 ghouls on that ship!
(Enter two ghouls, Spectre-Woman and her skeletal Death-mate)
Spectre-Woman: (Hissing, angrily) That would be me
Death-mater: And me!
Spectre-Woman: Who are these wretched phonies?
Narrator: I do apologise! They just got a little carried away!
Death-mate: I’ll say! Worst set of impersonators I’ve seen since, since
Spectre-Woman: That shockingly bad karaoke we went to last time we were in town!
Death-mate: Ugh! Worst night of my life. To end up there on a Saturday night!
Spectre-Woman: Yes, a fate worse than death! Well, we should know!
Narrator: (To Readers) Indeed. May we have a description of this lady, please?
Reader 3: Her lips were red, her looks were free,
Reader 4: Her locks were yellow as gold:
Reader 5: Her skin was as white as leprosy,
Reader 6: The Night-mare LIFE-IN-DEATH was she,
Spectre-Woman: (Snatching line from Reader 7) Who thicks man’s blood with cold.
Reader 7: Hey! That’s my line!
Spectre-Woman: (To Reader 7, menacingly) Want to take me on, little reader? You are a reader, I gather. Not a reaper! In the case of the latter I’d be more than happy for you to join our little team!
Reader 7: (Squirming in fright) Oh no! That’s quite all right!
Death-mate: (Spitting) Pathetic, aren’t they?
(Advancing on crew, who all run away)
They couldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone an albatross!
(To Ancient Mariner)
Speaking of which, isn’t that what you have hanging around your neck?