‘Tis the season of goodwill to all my students. That includes those of you who filled the last days of term with more than enough merriment to leave me Christmas crackered.
Now in return for your presents (including three Best Teacher mugs, two pairs of jingle bell socks and a throat infection), I have something for you. I shall arrive like a wise man bearing gifts appropriate to your future needs. It is Boxing Day, and on this second day of Christmas your teacher gives to you… two sets of name tags
I know you will be disappointed. However, I am determined that cheesy tackiness and gaudy glitter will be crushed, crumpled and confined to the refuse sack of practicality.
While sweets and chocolates may provide instant gratification, their satisfaction is short-lived and possibly harmful.
In contrast, these name tags will endure long after the sugar rush of Christmas has given way to a future that is not so sweet.
Christmas cheer
No scrooge-like desire to destroy the spirit of Christmas has driven me to extend what , at first glance, appears to be the most mean-spirited of gifts. After all these are not your common or garden, budget-priced name tags. They do not have a barely decipherable printed-on name that is destined to be totally indecipherable after one economy wash.
These are the last (and first) name in personalised identification accessories. The best that online retailers can provide. Double embroidered in a range of colours with each student’s full name, including initials clearly visible in a contrasting shade. Machine embroidered on the finest quality Egyptian cotton, they are guaranteed to last a lifetime. Or at least to the end of summer term and after that who cares?
The gift that keeps giving
Not yet convinced? Then remember this. Name tags are the gift that keeps on giving. Once attached (to your school coat and school jumper/cardigan) the benefits will soon be apparent. Not only will name tags save your parents money (by helping them avoid unnecessary repeat purchases), they will provide you with a full range of benefits too including:
- An increase in learning opportunities by reducing the time spent reuniting lost knitwear and rightful owners.
- A reduction in wasted emotional energy when the ownership of an item of clothing is in dispute.
- An improvement in family life by lessening tensions that arise after you arrive home minus expensive clothing.
- An enhanced learning environment in a classroom free from the clutter of abandoned garments.
If successful, this idea will be rolled out on the ninth day of next Christmas. It will include seven additional name tags for PE kit, backpacks, gloves, hats, scarves, wellies and parents. The latter will have them surgically attached to encourage a more urgent reuniting of families at the end of especially fraught days.
Steve Eddison teaches at Arbourthorne Community Primary School in Sheffield
