Becoming a parent while teaching abroad
“It’s positive! We are having a baby!”
It took a while for this amazing news to sink in. We were going to have a baby. A tiny human.
Sharing the news with loved ones and colleagues was fun. So many smiles and positive responses. Slaps on the back and the same jokes and laughs (and warnings) over and over again.
Their love and happiness for our love and happiness is really indicative of the sorts of bonds you form when you move into international teaching.
Having trained in London and worked in a state primary school for three years, I began looking for a new adventure away from the UK 13 years ago. I plumped for Kenya on the advice of my well-travelled grandmother and that is where I find myself now, working as the director of sport and overseeing two international schools in Nairobi.
The practical side of parenthood
Moving between international schools all over this wonderful country has been both exciting and challenging. Kenya is one of the most fantastic places to live; friendly people, beautiful and diverse landscapes and the classic safari and beach settings for holidays.
However, it won’t surprise you to hear that having a baby overseas is not a simple process. Here are some things to consider.
1. Parental leave
The biggest challenge I had to overcome was the fact that the Kenyan education system only allows two weeks paternity leave for new fathers and three months for mothers. Comparing this to the amount of time parents are given in the UK gave us a bit of a shock.
However, both my wife and I (she is also a teacher) talked a great deal about how this would impact us and, thankfully, due to the affordability of living in Kenya, we worked out we would be able to afford an ayah (Swahili for “nanny”). This was a weight off my mind and a benefit of living in a country where help is so affordable.
2. Home for the birth
I was well supported by my school when I asked for my paternity leave, although I was offered the option of splitting my two weeks over time by taking the odd day off here and there for appointments and so on. I requested the two weeks to be taken in one block.
We decided to have our baby in England, mainly because of the costs involved in Kenya with the quality of maternity medical cover offered by private insurance companies.
My wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in September and, although travelling back to the UK for the birth was tiring, it was very much worthwhile (and nothing compared to what my amazing wife had gone through).
My paternity leave was spent running lessons and my department remotely. I have a great group of teachers and coaches who really stepped up to the plate when I was away.
3. Back to work
Returning to work was a challenge, especially as I was to be separated from my new family for a further two months while they got together all the necessary paperwork together to come and join me in Kenya.
However, the paperwork side of things proved very easy and was all sorted very quickly. My return to work saved me from moping around missing my wife and new son. I was able to throw myself into my classes and catch up on the two weeks I had missed.
The first term in any school is always extremely busy and I was heavily involved with athletics, football, basketball matches and tournaments nearly every day. This meant that I barely had time to stop and think.
I ensured I was on every team bus, at every tournament and always busy. That way, when my son and wife arrived in Kenya I felt no qualms about staying at home to enjoy family time with them.
To be able to take my son out on safari to see his very first lion, elephant, rhino, leopard and giraffe makes all the hard work feel worthwhile.
Jim Ross is the director of sport at Brookhouse School in Kenya
