Burns Night Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes (depending on number of music suggestions included). The assembly could be further extended by the addition of some of the poems of Robbie Burns. Who would not want to come to this party? Well, if you're not keen on bagpipes, it could be a problem! But the guest list is pretty unbeatable - with the likes of St Andrew, William Wallace, Mary Queen of Scots, James VI, Robert the Bruce, Walter Scott plus fellow writers, Alexander Bell plus fellow scientists, John McAdam plus fellow engineers, some sportsmen, politicians (fraid so!), that oh so enthusiastic chef (no prizes for guessing what he's served up!), Nessie (of course!) and not forgetting - that guy with the bagpipes .... oh and Robbie Burns!! This script comes with some seriously bad jokes – would definitely get the thumbs down from that other Mr Burns of Simpsons fame! Sample Text (Enter bagpipes player, with loud bagpipe accompaniment) (Everyone groans and cover their ears) Narrator: Stop! Please! I think I’m going mad! Bagpipes player: Och! You need to chill out a little, man! (Takes out bottle of whisky from inside kilt) Here! Have some of this fine Scottish whisky! Nothing quite like it for lessening the old stress levels! Narrator: (Taking the bottle and having a sip) Well as long as it means your volume levels take a corresponding dip! Bagpipes player: Oh to be sure! If that’s what keeps you happy! (Enter Scottish chef carrying tray of haggis) Scottish chef: And here’s something else to warm your inners! (Narrator takes a bite followed by a coughing fit) Narrator: What on earth was that? Scottish chef: Oh! Just a bit of sausage I cooked up! Narrator: Er, something tells me you’re holding back a bit on the description there? Scottish chef: Oh, didn’t I mention? It’s the inner organs of a sheep … cooked in the stomach of a sheep! (Narrator has explosive coughing fit) Scottish chef: Oh, and if you want to know what those organs are, they’re the liver, heart and lungs. Plus a little seasoning! Delicious, eh? (Narrator continues to ‘gag’) Bagpipes player: (To chef) Er, far be it from me to interrupt but I think we’ve had enough description! Scottish chef: Oh very well! (Placing tray on a chair) I’ll leave it here for you all to enjoy. (Whole cast pull faces) (Testily) This is meant to be a Burns celebration, you know! Other Scottish scripts available from Sue Russell. Please note: there is some duplication of content and characters in this script and the St. Andrews Assembly/Class Play.

Russian Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - 10 - 20 minutes. (20 mins with inclusion of music suggestions and performances) Script can be further extended to include more information on the country. As always our narrator has his work cut out – kicking off assembly with having to keep bolshy Bolsheviks apart from arrogant tsars. Nothing bolshy about those Bolshoi ballerinas, fortunately - but who invited that mob of unruly Chelsea supporters along?! Normal formula of fun and laughter mixed in with a generous spattering of facts .. demonstrating just how much a country of contrasts Russia is. This script will be adapted to include longer reference to 2018 World Cup, nearer the time. Sample Text: Narrator: That’s better! Now let’s see. (Looking through script) What are a load of Chelsea Football supporters doing here in my Russian assembly? Supporter 1: Oh! Hadn’t you heard, mate? Supporter 2: Heard? Heard what? Supporter 3: That Chelsea Football Club is owned Supporter 4: By a Russian! Supporter 1: One Roman Obramovich! Supporter 2: One of the richest men in the world! Supporter 3: In charge of the greatest team in the world! (Half the cast boo and wolf whistle; and Narrator ushers supporters off before there is trouble) (Exit Chelsea supporters) Narrator: (Sighing) Oh dear! Nothing like lowering the tone of my assembly. It was all so lovely and cultured before that noisy lot turned up! (Enter 2 artists, Marc Chagall and Wassily Kandinsky, setting up their easels and painting, silently) Narrator: Ah! That’s more like it! The silent world of art! And who better to represent it than these two amazing Russian artists Marc Chagall: (Holding up picture of The Fiddler) Marc Chagall! Music 4 Fiddler on the Roof theme tune (Chorus from the musical could be performed either by the artist, Chagall, or someone else in the cast) Narrator: (Applauding) Wonderful! (To second artist, Wassily Kandinsky) And you, sir? Wassily Kandinsky: (Holding up Squares with Concentric Circles) Wassily Kandinsky Narrator: And this artwork is called? Wassily Kandinsky: Squares with Concentric Circles! Why do you look so surprised? Narrator: (Uneasily) Oh just expecting something …er. Em Wassily Kandinsky: (Angrily, snatching up his easel) A little more abstract?

World Cup 2018 Assembly Cast Size – 33 as this includes Referee plus 32 competing nations - but speaking parts can be doubled up, to the number required. Duration - Around 20 minutes (not including music) A referee's job is never the easiest in the world - but put him in charge of 32 teams from across the world - all together, at the same time ..... Does he have his work cut out or does he have his work cut out?! Join him plus 32 nations in this celebration of the World Cup - all lining up for one of the greatest sporting events on the planet! Sample Text: Referee: Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What are we here celebrating today? Whole Cast: (Shouting louder) THE WORLD CUP! (Referee blows whistle) Referee: OK. OK. Sit down everyone. Don’t let’s get too excited! It is, after all, only football! English Fan: (In outrage) Pardon? Have you never heard what the great Bill Shankly had to say? Referee: No. But I’ve a feeling I’m going to! English Fan: He said “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that”! Referee: (Shrugging) And there was me, thinking it was just sport! So, let’s find out a little more about the World Cup, starting with where it’s going to be held this year, 2018. Russia: In Russia! We, as the host nation, (turning to cast) are happy to welcome you all! (Everyone cheers) Referee: Thank you, Russia. Tell me. How many countries are there competing this year? Russia: Thirty two! Referee: Let’s meet them! In Group A (Each country, represented by a fan dressed in his team colours, stands and waves national flag in turn before sitting down again) Russia: Russia! We’re the host nation Saudi Arabia: Saudi Arabia. The first team to take on the host nation in the opening match! Egypt: Egypt! Referee: Welcome back! Egypt: Yes, it’s been 28 years since our last appearance in a world cup, in 1990. Uruguay: Uruguay! We were the very first host, in 1930.

World Cup 2018 Leavers’ Assembly Duration: around 15 minutes. Cast size suitable for one class - or year group of two or three classes. Who would have thought Mr. Head would have so much trouble in this Leavers' Assembly - disciplining his own staff?! There's Mr. Place - a geography teacher with an unfortunate temper; there's Mrs Sums - with an unfortunate obsession with numbers; there's Mrs Write - with her unfortunate outspokenness ... are you spotting a pattern here? And as for Mr. Force from the science department ... well, let's just say he might have pushed his luck just that little bit too far on this occasion! Anyway, hat's off to Mr. Head as he struggles on. After all, football is just a game, isn't it?! Sample Text Mr. Head: Ah! Mrs Write, our Literacy expert! Mrs Write: (Enunciating every word slowly and perfectly) Good morning, Mr. Head. Good Morning, children! Students: Good morning, Mrs Write! Mrs Write: Before we go any further, I do feel it is important that our children can tell the difference between fact and fantasy! Mr. Head: Er, don't you mean facts and opinions? Mrs Write: (Impatiently) Just so! Though some of my students seem to be indulging in some very worrying fantasies at the moment. Student 1: But you're always telling us to use our imaginations, Miss! Mrs Write: ‘Tis true. But we also need to keep a certain hold on reality. And, to put it bluntly .... (pausing) Mr. Head: (Impatiently) Yes, Mrs Write. We haven't got all day! Mrs Write: Well, as long as you can assure me that I won't upset anyone in speaking my mind? Mr. Head: It's never stopped you in the past! Mrs Write: (Cagily) Well, it's about England's chances of winning the World Cup! Mr. Head: Ah! (Pauses) Now I see where you're coming from. Could I suggest you proceed with extreme caution? With extreme tact, even? Mrs Write: Oh don't you worry! You're looking at somebody who can not only write to the highest standard but is also always right in everything she says .. Mr. Head: (Aside) And so modest with it! Mrs Write: Let me just tell anyone who is nursing any illusions about England winning Mr. Head: (Anxiously) I think I mentioned tact, Mrs Write? Mrs Write: Well .... (takes a deep breath and then blurts out) England doesn't stand the faintest chance of winning the World Cup! (Mr. Head covers his head in despair, as all students rise to their feet in uproar) Mrs Write: You see what I mean? Somebody had to tell them! They shouldn't be allowed to continue believing in this fantasy! Mr. Head: (In exasperation) Mrs Write! Have you ever heard the expression ‘Like a bull in a china shop'?

Fashion Assembly including The Emperor’s New Clothes The story of The Emperor’s New Clothes provides the bulk of the text - with a minimum cast of 10; cast numbers are made up to 30 by the addition of numerous fashion models, plus ‘sparring’ fashion designer and narrator! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - reading of text around 15 minutes but this does not include music or performances - both of which can be increased to effectively double the length of the play. Sample Text (1): Music 1 – You’re So Vain – Carly Simon (Whole cast files in, seating themselves in order, along two rows of fifteen, facing the audience, Narrator standing at the side throughout) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Fashion! Music 2 – Fashion – David Bowie (Line of fashion models walk up and down ‘the catwalk’ in front of the audience) Narrator: (Applauding as models return to their places) Very good! Bravo! (To audience) But seriously! Did you see the size of those heels? I mean, how on earth do they manage to walk on such things? Impractical or what? (Enter Fashion Designer) Fashion Designer: (Sniffing his disapproval) Oh! Hasn’t anyone told you? It’s about how you look on that catwalk. Narrator: (Angrily) Even if it cripples you? Fashion Designer: Oh darling! Aren’t we being just a tad overdramatic? Narrator: (Huffily) No, not really! I wouldn’t be able to move in those heels! (Fashion Designer pointedly looks Narrator up and down) Fashion Designer: No, I don’t suppose you would! (Aside to audience) No great loss to the fashion world, right? Sample Text (2) - from The Emperor’s New Clothes Narrator: Once upon a time there lived an emperor who was very fond of his clothes. (Enter Emperor and two courtiers) Emperor: (Twirling on the spot) So, what do you think of my outfit today? Courtier 1: (Gushing) Magnificent! Courtier 2: (Even more gushing) Fantastic! Emperor: (Preening himself) Oh really! Flattery will get you nowhere! Courtier 1: (Aside) Wanna bet? Courtier 2: We wouldn’t get far without it! Emperor: What was that? Commenting on the quality of this wonderful fabric, no doubt? Courtier 1: Oh, of course, majesty! Courtier 2: The finest in the land, to be sure! Emperor: I rather think so! (Aside) Best not say how much it cost! More than I pay these two courtiers in a year! (To Courtier 1) A mirror, please! It must be at least a minute since I looked at myself!

Pet Care Assembly for Key Stage I This script is a totally moveable feast! The cast consists of Narrator (Class Teacher) plus 30 pets - the number and type of pets can, of course, be changed to match any class requirement. Although it is full of humorous moments, the message behind it is a serious one - that of taking the business of pet care itself seriously. The length of this performance is around 10 - 15 minutes *plus - allowing for ‘parade’ and ‘additions’ from children themselves i.e. information about their particular pets. It could potentially be double this length depending on how much additional information and suggested poetry is included. Great fun. Would love to see this performed! Sample Text: Narrator: You see, pets do take a lot of looking after. They are a big responsibility! (Pauses) What do you think is the most important part of looking after a pet? Child 4: Making it happy? Narrator: Correct! Child 5: And healthy! Narrator: Well done! So, you have to do a lot of homework before you even choose a pet. Child 6: Sounds like being at school! Child 7: Having a pet is meant to be fun! Narrator: But it’s no fun for your pet if it’s not looked after properly. Take that Great Dane, for example. (‘Great Dane’ stands up) Child 8: He’d take a lot of feeding! Narrator: Correct! Big dogs like big meals! But that’s not all! Child 9: He’ll need a lot of exercise! Child 10: Long walks! Narrator: Two or three times a day! He won’t want to be left inside by himself all day! (Great Dane shakes his head in agreement and sits down) Narrator: Animals have needs, just like us! And we need to respect their needs! Maybe someone could share with us, how they look after their pet? Child 11: I have two guinea pigs called Bill and Ben! Narrator: Two guinea pigs? Child 11: Yes, they like company! Narrator: And where do you keep them? Child 11: In a hutch with a nice grassy run. They also have cardboard boxes and pipes to hide in if they get frightened.

The Good Samaritan Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 NB: The other play, with a cast of 10, available as a separate purchase, is a re-telling of the parable with complementary discussion notes on the bystander effect. This full-length assembly with a cast of 30 starts with this same cast of 10 but has an additional 20 speakers dealing with ‘the bystander effect’ with reference to today’s society, delivered via five different scenarios. Duration - around 15 to 20 minutes Sample Text Scenario 1 - A young boy/teenager being beaten up by a group of other teenage boys (Enter 5 boys and 5 bystanders) (Bystanders in two groups, chatting amongst themselves; group of five boys chatting/messing around) (Suddenly four boys ‘fall out’ with the fifth boy and set upon him, ‘beating him to the ground’) (Bystanders look on bewildered before walking off hurriedly) (Four boys do a ‘high five’ and walk off, leaving the fifth boy, sprawled on the ground, moaning) (Enter Good Samaritan, who helps boy to his feet and helps him back to his seat) Narrator: (Jumping out of his seat) Bravo! You’ve done it again! Good Samaritan to the rescue! Good Samaritan: So, what about those other people who were there and witnessed what happened? Where did they go? Let’s call them back. (Good Samaritan gestures to five bystanders to come and join him) Good Samaritan: So. What was going on there? Explain yourselves, please. Bystander 1: Oh, you know how it is. Bystander 2: Boys will be boys! Bystander 3: Just thought we’d let them get on with it. Bystander 4: Nothing to do with us! Bystander 5: We didn’t want to get involved Good Samaritan: So. Let’s get this straight. You were happy to risk that young boy being severely injured. Perhaps worse. Bystander 1: (Laughing nervously) Oh let’s not exaggerate! (All bystanders nod in agreement) Good Samaritan: But you didn’t know he’d be all right, did you? (All bystanders shuffle their feet nervously and look to the ground) Good Samaritan: No, you didn’t! Shame on you for walking away! Bystander 2: But what could I have done? Bystander 3: I’m no fighter! Bystander 4: What if they’d turned on me? Bystander 5: I didn’t want to get hurt! Good Samaritan: So, it was OK to let someone else get hurt? Bystander 1: Well, Good Samaritan: (Exploding) No it wasn’t! And you all know it!

Autumn Assembly for Key Stage I One of a set of assemblies on the Seasons. Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down. It is suggested that the class teacher takes the role of narrator. Duration - around 10 minutes but can be extended with inclusion of list of suggested poems Swallows, squirrels, deer, bats, .... children! Our narrator certainly has his work cut out keeping this assembly under control! Ever tried keeping a hibernating hedgehog or two sleepy dormice awake? Or silencing a flock of Brent Geese? Just two of the tasks facing our, as always, seriously challenged narrator! Sample Text: (Dormice curl up together and drop off to sleep) Narrator: Hey you two! Not yet! Wake up! (Both dormice yawn and stretch sleepily) Dormouse 1: Is it April yet? Dormouse 2: I think I’ll leave it to May this year! Dormice: (Together) Yeah! Let’s have a lie in! Narrator: You most certainly will not! Do I look like a Dormouse babysitter? Be off with you! (Exit Bats and Dormice) (Enter Hedgehog, making loud snuffling noises; he collects up some of the leaves left behind by the children, makes a nest of them and lies down in the middle) Narrator: Aha! And who do we have here? Our first hibernating hedgehog! Hedgehog: (Huffily getting out ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign and placing it next to his nest) Can’t you read? Narrator: You’re a bit early! It’s not November yet! Hedgehog: So? (Putting on night cap) (Rubbing tummy) I’ve done enough eating! I’m ready for sleep!

The Clothes We Wear Assembly including The Emperor’s New Clothes Key Stage I This class play or assembly has a look at our normal wardrobes - for summer and winter clothing plus a dip into the world of fashion. In the case of the latter, one rather important lesson delivered via the mini play within this script - on The Emperor’s New Clothes - is ‘Beware personal vanity’ - it can get you into all sorts of trouble! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down (Class Teacher as Narrator) Duration - from around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions and ‘fashion show’ - these could easily double the performance! KS II Scripts on Fashion/Emperor’s New Clothes also available (see below) Sample Text: Music 2 You’re so Vain – Carly Simon (Enter Fashion Designer, strutting up and down, like a model on a catwalk) Narrator: (Indignantly) Excuse me! But would you mind explaining who you are? Fashion Designer: Certainly! I am here as a special guest today. You see, as a fashion designer I know everything about clothes! Narrator: Oh really? (To audience) And rather less about good manners! Fashion Designer: Well, I really didn’t think I’d need an invite! I thought you’d be delighted to see me! (Narrator ushers Fashion Designer back to his/her seat) Narrator: Well, of course. Here. Take a seat and then maybe we can catch up later! (Consulting notes) Now. Where were we? Ah yes, let’s take a look at some of these clothes! Music 3 Summer Holidays – Cliff Richards (Enter Summer Clothes Children, 1 – 6) Narrator: (To Summer 1 & 2) Wow! I can see you’re all ready for the beach! Summer 1: We certainly are! (Pointing to each article of clothing) I’m wearing a sundress, flip flops, and these glasses and hat to protect me against the sun! Sample Text from ‘mini play’ - The Emperor’s New Clothes: (Two scoundrels set up their looms) Narrator: And so, all they had to do was take the money! They didn’t have to sew a stitch! Scoundrel 2: That’s right. Just tell that emperor what he wanted to hear Narrator: That he looked gorgeous? (Both scoundrels nod) Scoundrel 1: And what did that make us? Scoundrel 2: Rich!

St. George and The Dragon Assembly - Key Stage One Slightly alternative version, this one, with just one knight in shining armour amongst 14 pairs of princesses and dragons! You could say, speed dating with a difference! Whatever way you look at it, the outcome is very different from the usual version of the story. The cast is adaptable to any size class - just adjust the number of princesses and dragons! Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes (Reading time just 5 minutes but this does not allow for music suggestions and ‘parade’). Sample Text: Princess 1: (Interrupting whilst preening herself) I’m the beautiful princess! St. George: (Looking unimpressed) Oh, really? Princess 1: (Stamping her foot angrily) Yes, really! (To St. George) And who are you? St. George: St. George, since you ask! Princess 1: (Shrieking) No! There must be some mistake! Narrator: Sorry? What do you mean? Princess 1: Well, look at him! He’s meant to be handsome! St. George: And you’re meant to be?(pauses) … what was it? Oh yes, beautiful? (St. George and Princess 1 stand glaring at each other) Narrator: Now! Now! This will never do! As hero and heroine, you are meant to be in love! Princess 1: No way! St. George: Not likely! Narrator: (Clutching head and holding up notes) Oh for goodness sake! How am I going to make this work? St. George: Start with the dragon! (Aside to audience, pointing at Princess 1) And I don’t mean her!

The Pied Piper of Hamelin Class Play or Assembly This script, based on the poem by Robert Browning, has a cast of 30 and duration of around 20 minutes. It has a very welcome ‘twist’ of the tail (thinking rats, here) which will warm the hearts of everyone, especially animal-lovers. As one of the lines clearly states ‘No animals were harmed during the production of this play!’ Sample Text: Mayor: They fought the dogs and killed the cats, And bit the babies in the cradles, Councillor 1: And ate the cheeses out of the vats, And licked the soup from the cooks’ own ladles, Councillor 2: Split open the kegs of salted sprats, Made nests inside men’s Sunday hats, Councillor 3: And even spoiled the women’s chats, By drowning their speaking, Mayor: With shrieking and squeaking In fifty different sharps and flats. (Everyone turns to the rats to see their reaction. Rats all stand with arms crossed, looking furious – and then all suddenly burst out laughing) Mayor: What’s so funny? Councillor 1: Yeah! Councillor 2: I wouldn’t be laughing Councillor 3: If I were in your shoes! Rat 1: (Shaking his head) Where do you get all this stuff? Rat 2: We weren’t the guilty ones! Rat 3: OK so we might have nibbled at the odd piece of cheese Rat 4: And maybe the odd sip of soup. Rat 5: But fought with dogs? Rat 6: Killed cats? Rat 7: Bitten babies? Rat 8: Drowned ladies speaking with shrieking and squeaking? Rat 1: Are you serious? Rat 2: Do we look like we could take on cats and dogs? Rat 3: Or babies! Have you heard one screaming recently? (All rats cover their ears) Rat 4: Now that is a noise to deafen even the chattiest of ladies! Rat 5: You paint a totally false picture of us rats. Narrator: But you do come with something of a reputation! Rat 6: Oh, you mean that Bubonic Plague thing? Narrator: Well, yes. That did wipe out a rather large percentage of the human race! Mayor: (Triumphantly) There you go! Rat 7: But it taught you lot to keep cleaner afterwards! Rat 8: Clear up your own rubbish! Rat 1: Shame they didn’t clear out some of the human variety! Mayor: (Exploding) Pardon! Narrator: (To Mayor) It has to be said, your townsfolk didn’t seem to think very highly of you! Pied Piper: And with good reason! Let me pick up the story here. (Narrator gestures for everyone else to return to their seats) Pied Piper: You see, I’d heard that the town of Hamelin wanted to be rid of their rats! (All rats jump up in indignation) Pied Piper: (To rats) Sit down, gentlemen, please. I have other ‘rats’, if you’ll pardon the expression, to deal with! (Pointing to Mayor and Councillors) This lot! Other poems that writer Sue Russell has turned into plays have been: The Listeners, The Highwayman, Smugglers’ Song and If – all available off TES.

Ocean Assembly including The Little Mermaid This class play was originally written for Key Stage I but has a lot of additional material – FREE set of 5 Sea Life Quizzes, 350 questions and answers – that could easily be added to raise the level to Key Stage 2. As an outline of The Little Mermaid story is included, this script falls within both the science and literature sections of the curriculum (as well as between two key stages – sorry, a little difficult to place!) If the original story of the Little Mermaid threatens to leave you with tears in your eyes, the jokes of the supporting cast (Cranky Crab, Daft Dolphin, Cod Father just to mention a few) will soon cheer you up … or maybe reduce you to further tears! Sample Text: (All Sea Creatures stand up and speak to The Little Mermaid in turn) Cranky Crab: Why did you turn your back on the ocean? Timid Turtle: How could you leave us? Daft Dolphin: Why go to the land Clown Fish: When you had all that sea to play in? Cod Father: Foolish girl! Angel Fish: You should have kept your tail Jiggly Jellyfish: Fancy giving it up Scary Shark: For what? A human being? Swishing Swordfish: A life on land? Old Octopus: Losing your family Saucy Stingray: Your friends Lazy Lobster: Your everything! Blue Whale: Why? Barmy Barnacle: What were you thinking? Weary Walrus: I don’t understand Perky Penguin: You gave up so much Deep Sea Fish 1 – Angler fish: And for what? Deep Sea Fish 2 – Hatchet fish: Yes, tell us! Deep Sea Fish 3 – Lantern fish: For what?

Cricket Class Play or Assembly (‘nod’ to World Cup) Anyone for Cricket? This class play or assembly, cast of 30, is approximately 20 minutes long and should be performed if only for that wonderful track by 10 CC – Dreadlock Holiday! (Who doesn’t know classic line ‘I don’t like Cricket,… oh no… I love it!?) Apart from giving an outline of the game, and some of its past heroes, there is an exploration of cricket terminology – an A to Z of surely some of the wackiest jargon in or out of the sporting world! For sports and non-sports folk alike – Enjoy! Sample Text Narrator: Ah! Our final innings of the day! Player 1: We’ll be sure to make this a fine pongo! (All Players raise their bats in triumph) Narrator: Pongo meaning a high score! Player 1: Correct. Lots of runs! Umpire 1: (Standing) But we’ll be keeping an eye on the quota. Umpire 2: (Standing) That’s the total number of overs (maximum ten) given to a bowler Umpire 1: Typically, the total overs in the innings Umpire 2: Divided by five, Umpire 1: And then rounded to the next highest whole number. Narrator: (Clutching his head) Well, I’ll most certainly leave the maths to you! (Both Umpires sit down, smiling) Player 2: Rabbit! Narrator: I beg your pardon! Player 2: That’s what a rubbish batsman is called! (All Players shake their heads, in disgust) Narrator: Ooh. That’s not nice! I mean, no offence to bunnies but Player 3: (Interrupting) Rain delay! (All Players groan) Player 3: Nothing more frustrating when you want to get on with the game! Player 4: Red cherry. Spectator 5: That’s the nickname for the red cricket ball! Player 4: Correct! Player 5: Rib tickler! Spectator 1: Would that be a ball that hits the batsman in the midriff? Player 5: Well done! You see how easy our jargon is? Player 6: Sawn off! (All Players gasp in anger and two Umpires stand up defiantly, with arms crossed) Umpire 1: Our word is what goes! Umpire 2: Nobody should argue with that! Umpire 1: If we say a player is dismissed Umpire 2: That’s an end to it! Spectator 2: But what if you get it wrong? (Umpires 1 and 2 gasp in horror) Umpires 1 & 2: (Together) We never get it wrong! (Players continue to glare at two Umpires as they sit down) Narrator: (Coughing) Moving on! Player 7: Sitter! Spectator 3: Ooh. You never want to drop one of those! The shame of missing an easy catch! Player 7: (Shaking head) Indeed. Player 8: Skier! Another ball you really don’t want to miss! These are a miss hit, go up in the sky Narrator: And I can only imagine the embarrassment of having all that time and then missing the catch! (Players all clutch their heads)

Colour Assembly for Key Stage One (5 – 7-year olds) Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down). Duration 5 – 10 minutes. This assembly or class play is intended as a brief introduction to colour. As well as listing the primary and secondary colours it looks at feelings and images associated with colour, plus a touch of stereotyping (blues and pinks) – thankfully blown away by Elmer appearance! Sample Text: Narrator: (Applauding whole cast) Very good! (Pauses) And isn’t it funny how sometimes colours can make us experience different feelings. (To Child 17) You said how red made you feel hot. I wonder if we can do the same exercise again but think of how the colour makes us feel. Let’s start with red again! Child 1: Angry! Child 2: I see red! Grrrr! Narrator: Orange! Child 3: it’s a nice bright colour so it makes me happy! Narrator: Yellow! Child 4: (Running on the spot) Lots of energy! Narrator: (Thoughtfully) Hmm. That’s a positive spin on the word. But have you heard the expression ‘cowardly custard’? Sometimes yellow can be used in quite a mean way. Child 5: I think of buttercups! (Takes one out of pocket and holds it under chin) Can you see if I like butter or not? (Narrator walks over to have a look) Narrator: It seems you do! A definite yellow glow on your chin! (Pauses) Now, where were we? Ah yes, green! Child 6: You can feel green with envy! Narrator: Indeed you can! (Pauses) And blue? Child 7: Brrrr! It’s suddenly feeling a bit cold around here!

Be Inspired New Year Class Play or Assembly Cast Size 30 – but this number can easily be adapted up or down. Duration Around 20 minutes. The performance can be extended by the addition of more jokes and poetry. Do you feel the need for a large dose of inspiration in order to start 2020? Look no further, here’s the script for you! A whole month’s worth of quotations that will give your students plenty to aspire to! Sample Text: Music I – I’m So Excited – Pointer Sisters (Whole cast ‘dances’ in, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: (To cast) Are we all feeling inspired, that is the question? (Everyone cheers) Narrator: Now, that’s how I like to start an assembly! Lots of enthusiasm, zest, passion Child 1: Yes, yes, we get all that! But where are we going with all this good feeling? Narrator: Well, I’m kind of hoping it’s going to last (pauses) at least until the end of January! Child 2: (Shaking head) Ooh, I wouldn’t count on it. I mean, that’s thirty-one days you’re talking about! Narrator: I know it’s a lot to ask but, well, it’s good to have things to aspire to along the way! As to how we’re going to achieve such a long-term goal Child 3: (Interrupting) Oh, that’s simple. We just have to get inspired! Child 4: We’ve been doing some research and we’ve come up with some pretty inspirational stuff! Narrator: (Clapping hands) Excellent! Then, take it away! Child 5: So, it’s all about behaving in the right way. Narrator: (Aside to audience, incredulously) Every day through January? Seriously? That would have to be seen to be believed! Child 6: We have actually managed to find ‘inspiration’ for every day of the month, for each of the thirty-one days, starting with Child 7: January 1st. Here comes the first of the many inspirational quotations we found.

Rugby World Cup 2019 Assembly Cast of 13, duration around 20 minutes – depending on how many hakas you can fit in! This is an attempt to enlighten those who find rugby a bit of an intellectual challenge! Using a similar format to that used for recent Cricket Assembly, this likewise uses an A-Z of terminology to try and throw some light on the game and how it works! Sample Text: Narrator: Fab! So, let’s just have a few basics of the game. Child 15: There are fifteen players in each team Child 16: And the idea is to score as many points as possible! Child 17: By touching the ball down behind your opponent’s ‘try line’. You get five points for that Child 18: Or kicking it through and over the goalposts. You get two points if it’s a conversion or three if it’s a penalty. Narrator: It’s getting more complicated than football already! Child 19: Oh, way more! Though in rugby you can run with the ball in your hands Child 20: And give bear hugs to your opponents! Child 21: Though you’d hardly call them friendly bear hugs! Child 22: Not when you’re dragging them to the ground! Narrator: I certainly wouldn’t want to be under any of those guys! They’re hardly lightweights! Child 23: And they certainly have plenty of attitude! Child 24: There are various types of tackle – spear, crash and choke to name but three! Child 25: And then there’s the hospital pass Narrator: (Interrupting) This is all beginning to sound a bit dangerous! Please tell me there are plenty of rules! Child 26: Most certainly! If there weren’t, they’d be no players left standing! Child 27: These guys are super fit but the referee is there to keep them safe Child 28: So, no high tackles – that is above chest level when there’s clear contact to the neck and head. Child 29: A definite no no! Child 30: A red card offence! Narrator: So, how about a simple A-Z of rugby like we agreed?

The Mayflower Set of Guided Reading Scripts or Class Play Includes Poem – The Mayflower – written by Sue Russell From Scrooby, to Amsterdam, to Leyden, to Plymouth in the ‘New World' - hardly the most direct route those Pilgrims could have taken (did they not have Satellite Navigation Systems in those days?!)And it was hardly ‘plain sailing' all the way when they got there - disease, harsh environment, terrible weather - certainly a disappointment for anyone out for a holiday! But after such unpromising beginnings, great things developed -including friendship with the locals, defying all fears previously harbored; and a great Thanksgiving tradition born (minus the turkeys and cranberries - let's try to stick to the facts here!) This Class Play, written to Readers Theater format, is written in 5 parts: 1. Background 2. Mayflower Voyage 3. First Sight of Land 4. First Winter and Spring 5. First Thanksgiving with 6 speakers for each part. The play can be used either within the classroom, reading out loud in groups of 6; or as a ‘performance' with the optional inclusion of music and a ‘Mayflower Song'. Sample Text 1.Background Speakers: Narrator William Brewster (Became religious leader of Plymouth settlement) William Bradford (Became second governor of settlement - for 36 years) Dorothy Bradford (Wife of William) Richard Clyfton (Preacher - stayed in Amsterdam) John Robinson (Teacher - stayed at Leyden) Narrator: Our story begins in the year 1606 - in the tiny English village of Scrooby. Dorothy: Are you men still sitting around talking? Bradford: Indeed we are! Robinson: We have so much to discuss, before we depart these fair shores - for Holland. Dorothy: Are you sure it is necessary for us to make this move? Clyfton: If it wasn't, we certainly wouldn't be doing it. Dorothy: I mean, all that upheaval and disruption to our lives and our children's .. Brewster: We understand just how you feel. But we have no choice. Bradford: If we stay here we will continue to be persecuted Clyfton: And for what? What is our crime? Robinson: Only that of wanting a simpler form of worship Clyfton: One that doesn't require there to be a priest between us and God. Extract from ‘Mayflower Song' (set to Bobby Shafto tune) Just the Mayflower fit to sail Things went fine until that gale Then directions them did fail And sent them too far northward.

Early Colonial Times Class Play or Guided Reading Scripts What could be worse than working all day on your play scripts - and then up all night getting an earful from your characters - telling you what you should have written? Those early colonists certainly weren't reluctant to share their views - especially if that entailed telling their creator his lines were rubbish! The only way to shut these good folk up was to let them have their say - however long it took - even if their idea of setting the record straight was strictly off the record! And so we have 5 sleepless nights -a mild form of torture for our poor playwright but great for us - learning all about: 1. Colonial homes 2. Weaving and spinning 3. Candle and soap making 4. Recreation 5. Religion (including education and punishment) This Reader's Theater Class Play can be read either as a class of 30 or 25, in groups of 6 speakers; or just by a group (of 6), keeping the same characters throughout. Sample Text 1.Colonial Homes Speakers: Playwright Mother Mrs. Smith Father Mr. Smith Son Adam (10 years old) Daughter Abigail (8 years old) Grandma Granny Mrs. Smith: (Sighing) Ah! It doesn't seem like yesterday that you were in those long petticoats! Adam: (Hissing) Mother, please! Granny: Oh let her be, Adam. Us mums always like reminiscing! Mr. Smith: Though you seem to conveniently forget all that howling that came with having babies around! Abigail: (Snorting) Just exercising our lungs! Adam: That's right! Us babies weren't meant to feel any pain! Granny: And so you got ignored! Quite right too! Adam: (Sarcastically) Oh Granny, you're all heart! Granny: Well, you had your ‘puddings'! Playwright: (Yawning) I thought we'd covered meal times! Mrs Smith: (Snorting) So much for thorough historical research! No, she means the padded caps babies wore to protect their heads. And they certainly needed protecting, the amount of falling over they did! Playwright: So why did you dress them up in those ridiculous long gowns? How were they ever meant to crawl about in those things?

St. George's Day Set of 5 Guided Reading Plays on England: 1. St. George Meets Robin Hood 2. A Brief History of the English Monarchy 3. Famous People 4. England's Geography and 'Places' 5. English Customs This set of 5 plays, with 6 speakers each, plus quizzes, was written in celebration of St. George's Day. Narrated in all 5 plays by St. George himself, .... with a little help from Robin Hood! Sample Texts: Play 1 St. George meets ... Robin Hood St. George: Ah Robin! Thank you so much for joining me this morning. I trust you have been given an explanation as to why you are here? Robin Hood: Indeed. And may I say, it is an honour to fulfill such a role. That is, to one such as yourself. Play 2 St. George: Please! A little respect for the dead! OK so Henry VIII wouldn't be most women's number one choice husband Robin: Not if they valued their necks! St. George: But his daughter certainly made up for his lack of heart! Elizabeth I: Good Queen Bess! That's what they called me! Play 3 Queen Eliz: Of course not! It was those other great qualities - of standing up for what you believed in St. George: Like when I stood up for my faith, even though it cost me my life. Churchill: "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.." Shakespeare: (Interrupting) "Friends, Romans and countrymen, lend me your ears .." Lennon: Sadly that Emperor Diocletian didn't lend his or he wouldn't have had you beheaded ... Play 4 St. George: But before we visit any of these places, let us quickly look at where England itself is. Robin: That's easy! South of Scotland and East of Wales! Play 5 Weatherman: Indeed. Every cloud has a silver lining! St. George: Really? Robin: Just an old English proverb. We have lots of those