Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage One Cast Size: 25 easily adjusted up or down (Class teacher taking role of Narrator) Duration: Around 5 – 10 minutes This assembly is based on 10 nursery rhymes and, as explained in the production notes, can be seen as a template - adding or replacing rhymes as you see fit. There is a longer assembly available (around 15 - 20 minutes) which has a choice of 20 nursery rhymes - this one is called Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version - and this could also be used by Key Stage II or used as a combined production, between both Key Stages - i.e. as a collaborative piece. Please note: the first half of the extended assembly uses the original 10 rhyme script i.e. just adds on. Sample Text: Narrator: What is that noise? (Enter cat playing fiddle, followed by cow holding moon; dog; and dish holding a spoon) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Hey Diddle Diddle, The cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon; The little dog laughed To see such sport, And the dish ran away With the spoon. (Exit cat, cow, dog and dish) (Everyone uncovers their ears) Narrator: Oh thank goodness for that. I mean, don’t get me wrong – we all like a little music … but not quite like that! (Enter Little Miss Muffet) (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; (Enter Spider) There came a big spider, Who sat down beside her And frightened Miss Muffet away. (Exit Little Miss Muffet and Spider) Narrator: (Cowering behind children) Has it gone? Is it safe to come out yet? Whole cast: (Sighing) Yes. The spider’s gone, Miss! (Narrator returns to her former place) Narrator: Huh! Well, that’s fine then. (Pauses) Not that I was ever scared of that wee spider! Nah – just acting along with Miss Muffet there! (Whole cast look at each other, shaking heads) Narrator: (Coughing) Any how! Moving on. (Enter Old Mother Hubbard and her dog) Narrator: Ah! A dear old lady and her wee doggie. (Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines) Old Mother Hubbard She went to the cupboard To fetch her poor dog a bone, But when she got there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. (Collective sympathetic sigh from the Cast) Narrator: Oh dear! Oh we can’t have that! (Narrator rummages around in her handbag and comes up with a bone) (Narrator holds up bone to dog which bounds over to Narrator in delight, barking happily, jumping up and down, and trying to lick her face)

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 15 - 20 minutes (without inclusion of music suggestions) Our Narrator has faced some 'mission impossibles' in his time but a Superheroes Assembly without ... Superheroes? Thank goodness there is always an Ancient Greek superhero around when you need him. But bringing out the 'super' in these particular heroes may prove too much of a challenge even for Hercules! Sample Text: Music 1 – Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler (Whole cast file in, in order of speaking, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to (Silence as Narrator waits for cast to respond - nothing but a couple of feeble coughs) (Narrator turns round to face cast, speaking sideways on so that audience can hear) Narrator: What’s going on? Where are all my Superheroes? Superhero 1: Do you mean, us? Superhero 2: If you want a show of superpowers here today, you’re out of luck! Narrator: But why? What’s going on? Superhero 3: More a case of what’s not going on! Superhero 4: ‘Fraid we’re all recovering from colds Superhero 5: And not feeling in the least bit ‘superhero-ish’! Narrator: (Gasping) Oh no! So what am I supposed to tell this audience? Superhero 6: Come back another day? Narrator: No, I can’t do that! As you can see, they’re all here! Superhero 7: Well, sorry, but even superheroes have their off days. Narrator: (Desperately) But not, please, on the day of my assembly! Superhero 8: ‘Fraid so! Narrator: (Clasping head and groaning) Oh no! This cannot be! What a disaster! Music 2 Greased Lightnin’ – Grease (Enter Hercules, performing John Travolta moves) Narrator: Well, good morning! (Looking through notes in confusion) This is … er … a bit of a surprise! (Hercules snatches notes) Hercules: Oh you don’t want to bother with those! Let’s go for a bit of good old fashioned spontaneity this morning! Narrator: Old fashioned? Hercules: Well, maybe a bit more than old. Make that, Ancient. (Pauses) Oh, and Greek! Narrator: You mean, Ancient Greek? Hercules: Exactly! And who better to represent that magnificent race – than myself, the great Hercules? Narrator: Wow! You certainly were a superhero in your time!

Holi Hindu Spring Festival of Colours Assembly A riot! An explosion of colour! Well, not quite. It's those wretched Health and Safety Regulations spoiling all the fun again. That, and a teacher who's prime concern is not to upset the caretaker. But never fear, fun usually succeeds at finding a way through - and there is a great deal of Bollywood dancing and laughter along the way! Oh plus some facts behind the festival of course! Cast of 30. Duration 10 - 20 minutes depending on amount of music/dancing Sample Text: Narrator: Er wait a minute! Don’t go spilling any of that blue paint on this floor! Krishna: But that’s the fun of Holi! Radha: Everyone does it! Narrator: Not on my watch, they don’t! (Narrator ushers Krishna, his mother and Radha back to their seats) Narrator: (Sighing heavily) Phew! That was a close one! Things could have got well out of hand then! (To Group 1) Come on children! Let’s hear some more about Holi! Child 11: Only if we can have a bit more dancing, first! Narrator: (Spluttering) But, but … that’s blackmail! (Group 1 all nod their heads) Narrator: Oh, very well. I don’t suppose it can do any harm! (Enter group of dancers) Music 3 (Dancers do Bollywood routine to music) Narrator: (Applauding) Bravo! Well done! (To audience) You know something? This dancing is rather good, isn’t it? (Exit dancers) Child 1: Well of course it is! Holi is all about joy and fun Child 2: And that’s what dancing is about! Child 3: (Muttering) That and the paint throwing! Narrator: Now! Now! We’ve been over that! Child 4: So, we can have some more dancing, instead? (Narrator gestures dancers, who’ve got to their feet again, to sit down) Narrator: In a minute! Oh my! What is it with everyone this morning? What do you think this is? Child 5: A festival? Child 6: (Indignantly) That’s what it’s meant to be! Child 7: A celebration of good over evil! Child 8: A celebration of the start of Spring! Child 9: The end of winter! (Everyone cheers) Child 10: It’s about love and getting on with everyone. Child 11: And giving everyone what they want and enjoy. (To Narrator) More dancing? Narrator: (Sighing) Oh very well! (Enter dancers) Music 4 (Dancers do Bollywood routine to music – Narrator joining in at the side) Narrator: (Applauding) Oh bravo! (To audience) It is rather catching, isn’t it?

Good and Bad Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered why some people are happy and others not? Could it perhaps have anything to do with their outlook on life? The two gangs in this assembly certainly see life very differently - well, they would, wouldn't they - given that one are a group of peace-loving hippies and the other, a group of street-wise warriors? But no differences are irreconcilable. Read on! Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes without inclusion of music suggestions (which will double the length of performance) Sample Text (BG stands for Bad Gang; GG stands for Good Gang) BG Leader: (To GG Leader) There you have it, Sunshine! That’s my gang! Where’s yours? Music 3 Joybringer – Manfred Mann’s Earthband (BG 15 – 28 perform song, singing and dancing, joyously) GG Leader: (Applauding) Ah now that’s more like it! Thank you so much! GG 1: Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening! BG 1: (Mimicking) Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) (BG 2 goes over to GG 2, in threatening manner) BG 2: So what are you going to say, little ‘joybringer’? (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) GG 2: Oh you needn’t think I’m afraid of you! BG 2: Well, you should be! I don’t reckon much of your chances in a stand up fight with us lot (Turns to Bad Gang) Am I right, guys? Bad Gang: (Aggressively) Right! (BG 2 swaggers back to seat) GG 3: Oh I can’t tell you how much we’re (pointing to Good Gang) all looking forward to that! (Collective Gasp from Bad Gang) BG 3: Are you mad? Or just plain stupid? GG 3: (Laughing) Maybe a little mad! But (pointing to Good Gang) we’re all good with that, right? Good Gang: (Joyfully) Right! BG 4: (Contemptuously) Pah! Just look at them! Thinking themselves so great! GG 4: Oh I can assure you we’re far from being just thinkers! BG 4: (Laughing, sarcastically) Right! You still up for some action? (BG 4 struts up and down, bracing his muscles; Bad Gang all do the same) GG 4: Very impressive – as a display! Shame it doesn’t have much substance! BG 5: Pah! Just jealous, that’s what you are! Making fun of us – how low can you stoop! GG 5: (Anxiously) Oh we didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourselves Music 4 Bad – Michael Jackson (Bad Gang all jump to their feet and perform again, as before)

Ancient Greek Myths Tale of Two Spinners Assembly or Class Play This class play can be used as an assembly (for performance) or as a class play, to be read within the classroom. It is part of a set of scripts written on the Ancient Greek Myths which includes Guided Reading scripts plus quizzes. The poem - The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt - is included in the text. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 - 15 minutes Sample Text: Narrator: Now, that’s better. (Ushering Incey Wincey Spider and Little Miss Muffet back to their seats) (To audience) You see how ridiculous this fear of spiders is? What do they call it? Arachn (Enter Arachne, scuttling on in spider costume) Arachne: Someone mention my name? Narrator: Ah! You’d be Arachne! As in Arachnophobia? Arachne: Well, I have no fear of spiders. I just am one! All thanks to (Enter Athene) Athene: Me! Arachne: Wretched goddess! (Athene scowls and raises her hand) Athene: (Menacingly) I’d be very careful what you say, if I were you Arachne! That tongue of yours has already got you into a whole heap of trouble! Arachne: (Gesturing at the spider outfit) Oh you mean this? Just because I said I was a better spinner than you! Athene: Foolish girl! What arrogance! You had to be punished! Arachne: That wasn’t quite the only reason I got punished, was it? Narrator: I’d say that was ample reason! Definitely too big for her boots, this one! Arachne: (Wailing) But I was brilliant at my craft. Athene: And didn’t you know it! You had to be taken down a peg or two.

Respect Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 10 minutes not including music suggestions. This PSHE class play was written for Key Stage I - the part of the narrator taken by the Class Teacher. Other Character Assemblies, Key Stage I & II, are available from writer, Sue Russell. Sample Text Goldilocks: Help! Help! Save me from these vicious bears! Mummy Bear: (Retorting angrily) Vicious bears? Daddy Bear: (Laughing) Who? Us? Baby Bear: We’re the victims here, not her! Narrator: Aha! Goldilocks and the Three Bears! Now that’s an interesting tale! Mummy: One of burglary Daddy Bear: Break in Baby Bear: And vandalism! Goldilocks: Oops! That bad? All three bears: (Together, nodding) That bad! Narrator: Oh dear! So not only have we a total lack of respect for people Goldilocks: Bears! Narrator: No difference! Don’t go making things worse for yourself, young lady! Mummy Bear: Quite! Who ever heard such cheek? Narrator: I repeat. Not only have we a total lack of respect for people (pauses) .. and bears! But a lack of respect for other’s property as well! (Whole cast gasps in shock) Goldilocks: (To Bears) I’m so sorry! I should never have walked into your home Mummy Bear: Or eaten our food Baby Bear: Or sat on our furniture Daddy Bear: Or slept on our beds. Goldilocks: I am so sorry. I’ll never do it again! (Exit Goldilocks and the Three Bears, smiling at each other) Narrator: Well, there’s a happy ending! Child 1: But it’s very easy to go wrong! To forget that respect thing. We do need reminding of some important facts. Child 2: Everyone is different. Child 3: We all look different Child 4: We all like different things Child 5: I like running! Child 6: I like football! Child 7: I like reading a book! Narrator: And that’s fine. Nothing wrong with having these differences! Child 8: Our world would be so boring if everyone was the same! Child 9: It doesn’t matter Child 10: If you support Chelsea! Child 11: Or Arsenal!

Awe and Wonder Assembly Key Stage I (5 – 7 yrs) Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 10 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions and songs). Longer performance easy - with simple addition of more information. Special guests to this class play: two superheroes - invited along to witness 'awesome' and 'wonderful' aka Nature and its superpowers - Who or what can beat a spider's artistry, a rainbow's beauty, the miracle of a butterfly and ... a great Milky Way! Awe and Wonder Assembly/Class Play available for Key Stage II (7 – 11yrs) – on Seven Natural Wonders of the World (Grand Canyon, Great Coral Reef etc). As a special offer, FREE with purchase of this script - a set of lovely photos taken at last year's Sensational Butterflies Exhibition at the Natural History Museum. Drop me a line at sue@plays-r-ussell.com Sample Text: (Enter 4 children in pyjamas) Narrator: Looks like you lot are ready for bed! Child 12: (Pointing up) Star gazing! Child 13: That’s what we’re doing! Child 14: (Sighing) They’re so beautiful! Child 15: (To Narrator) Care to join us? Narrator: Don’t mind if I do! What can you see? (As Narrator is gazing upwards, children share out chocolates among themselves; Narrator suddenly realises he has been ‘duped’) Narrator: Hey! Give me those chocolates! Child 12: But we’re about to tell you about them! Child 13: This one is the name of a group of stars – a galaxy! Child 14: This one is the galaxy we live in – the Milky Way! Narrator: (To Child 15) And this one? Child 15: Well, this one isn’t really a star. It’s a planet – Mars! Narrator: (Taking Mars bar) Well, I’d better have that one, then! (To audience, aside) My favourite!

Seven Wonders of the Ancient World Assembly 1. Great Pyramid of Giza 2. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus 3. Temple of Artemis 4. Statue of Zeus at Olympia 5. Colossus of Rhodes 6. Lighthouse of Alexandria 7. Hanging Gardens of Babylon Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions) This Key Stage II Class play follows on from two other assemblies (KSI & II) on the Wonders of the Natural World - under the title of Awe and Wonder and found in the PSHE section of the website. I, Sue Russell, decided to limit the Wonders of the 'Man-Made' World to the Seven Wonders of the Classical World as, had I based a script on modern-day wonders, the list would have been endless. I am happy to write a script based on modern day wonders but will wait on a teacher making such a request - with a list I can work from! Otherwise making an arbitrary choice of wonders is an impossible task! Sample Text Narrator: (Cowering) Oh, Oh! Not another unhappy god! Helios, god of the sun, am I right? Helios: Yes, and my statue was known as the Colossus of Rhodes, built 280B.C. in the city of Rhodes, on that same Greek island, by one Charles of Lindos; and destroyed 226 B.C. Narrator: Ah but you were so impressive – all 108 feet of you! That’s about the same as the Statue of Liberty! Certainly the tallest statue of the ancient world! Helios: And that’s meant to make me feel better? Narrator: Well, there was nothing anyone could have done to save you. As I think I remember hearing before, that’s earthquakes for you! But here, let us take a look at you, Helios, god of the sun, in your prime – or rather, that of your statue! (Narrator holds up picture of Colossus of Rhodes) Narrator: Behold the Colossus of Rhodes! (Helios bows and exits) Narrator: (Consulting notes) Five down, two to go! Heckler: (Yawning) How many did you say? Narrator: Don’t tell me you haven’t been counting? Or is anything over five a bit of a struggle for you? Heckler: Ooh! That’s not nice! And just to show you I am actually interested in the past, I’ll give this next one my undivided attention! Narrator: Fine! (To audience) Let’s hope it’s a good one! (Enter Pharaoh Ptolemy II) Music 7 Carl Orff – O Fortuna – Carmina Burana Ptolemy II: Ah so you are here to admire the Lighthouse of Alexandria! Behold!

International Children's Book Day Assembly or Class Play This script was written in celebration of International Children's Book Day April 2nd 2017 including characters from Horrid Henry, Peter Pan, The Gruffalo, Charlotte's Web, Captain Underpants, Matilda, The Tales of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. NB This is the same script as World Book Day Assembly but adapted to International Children's Book Day. Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) Duration: Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions Sample Text: Narrator: Thank you! Of course there is so much to celebrate in the world of literature! All those wonderful inspirational characters! (Enter Horrid Henry, scowling) Horrid Henry: Dah! I suppose you’ve got a whole line up of squeaky clean characters for us today? Just got one word to say to that – BORING! Narrator: And you are? (Pauses) Oh, don’t tell me – Horrid Henry! (Aside to Audience) A shame he had to start us off today! Definitely not one of our more likeable characters! (To Henry) Now, if you don’t mind, I do have a lot of other, shall we say ‘more wholesome characters’ to introduce! Horrid Henry: (Scowling) Please yourself! (Exit Horrid Henry, giving exaggerated ‘yawns’) Narrator: (To Audience) Oh dear! Sorry about that! Let’s see if we can ‘raise the bar’ a little! (Peter Pan ‘flies’ onto the stage) Narrator: Ah! Peter Pan! How nice to meet you! Peter Pan: The pleasure is all mine! (Enter Wendy and Tinkerbell) Peter Pan: I’d like you to meet Wendy: (Curtseying) Wendy (looking at Peter Pan adoringly) Darling! Tinkerbell: (Trying to ‘swoosh’ Wendy out of the way) And Peter’s favourite, Tinkerbell! Peter Pan: (Laughing) Now, now Tinkerbell! We have spoken about that jealousy thing! (Tinkerbell pulls a face, sulking) Wendy: Oh but she’s so adorable! You can’t be cross with her for long! (Enter Horrid Henry) Horrid Henry: What was I saying about those yukky sugary-sweet characters? Time to introduce some more interesting ones! (Horrid Henry beckons to Captain Cook and Crocodile) (Enter Captain Cook and Crocodile, snapping at Narrator’s heels) Narrator: (Angrily) Who let this beast on here? (Glaring at Horrid Henry) Oh I might have known you’d be up to no good!

St. George's Day Assembly or Class Play What on earth could the queen of England, our narrator alias Beefeater/guard of the Tower of London and the Artful Dodger have in common? Read on to find out what 'Twist' turns the Artful Dodger into Sir Artful Dodger! Cast size: 25 but easily adjusted up or down Duration: Around 20 minutes (depending on how much music is used) The focus of this play is London. Time constraints meant I just touched on England's history - events and people. I have addressed this 'shortfall' in the collection of guided reading scripts (available separately). Sample Text (Enter Sir Winston Churchill, smoking a pipe) Narrator: Ah, Sir Winston Churchill! Thank goodness. You pulled us through that Second World War - can you help me deal with this group of .. of ... super-women? Sir Winston Churchill: What? This lot? Leave it to me! Music 5 Who Do you Think You Are - Spice Girls (Spice Girls sing and make threatening gestures toward Sir Winston Churchill, who cowers and runs off stage) Narrator: (Aside) Hmm. Time for a different kind of ‘Help!" (Turning to Spice Girls) Hey girls, here come the Beatles! Spice Girls: (Together) Beetles? Did someone say, beetles? (All Spice Girls scream and run off stage) Music 6 Help - Beatles (Beatles stride on, singing Help!) Narrator: OK! That's probably as much help as I need! Thank you, boys! Beatles: (Together) No probs! (Exit Beatles) Narrator: So. Enough of this frivolity! Back to the serious stuff! Take my job at the Tower, for example (Queen Elizabeth runs back onto stage, in state of total panic) Narrator: Your Majesty! Whatever is the matter? Don't tell me you spilt your tea? Queen Eliz: (Gasping) Haven't you heard? Music 7 London Bridge is Falling Down (Cast sings first verse) Narrator: But that was around one thousand years ago, Your Majesty! It has been rebuilt several times since then! Queen Eliz: No! No! It's not that I'm worried about! Narrator: Oh no! Don't tell me the Thames Barrier has failed? Queen Eliz: What? The world's largest movable flood barrier? Of course not! Narrator: So. Has Buckingham Palace been burgled? Music 8 They're Changing Guards At Buckingham Palace (Cast sings first verse, as two guards in uniform march up and down) Queen Eliz: What? With my fine guards to keep us safe? I don't think so! Narrator: (Gasping) Don't tell me St. Paul's Cathedral has burnt to the ground again? Queen Eliz: (Sighing in exasperation) No. Our fire service has improved a little since that Great Fire of London!

St. George's Day Poem (or Ode to St. George) This poem was written in celebration of St. George's Day. It's about championing the cause of a national holiday and celebrating England as a country. Sample text: Rule Britannia! St. George's Day is here. England never shall have Anything to fear! Land of Hope and Glory Mother of the Free We have no national holiday Now how can that be? St. George, get off your charger And come and sort this out. If you truly champion valour Then leave us in no doubt. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Following emboldened text spoken by St. George) OK, I wasn't born in England That is certainly true. I was actually born in the Middle East When Christianity was taboo. But wait a while, have you not heard Exactly how I lost my head? In defending my own Christian faith I ended up .... Dead! An inspiration To those Crusaders later. If you don't believe me, kids, Go check your data! I know how much England Means to you. Keep pride in your country Trust me ‐ I do! It's a while since I fought For any worthwhile cause. But give me a chance And I'll champion yours! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- England has history that goes on forever (Makes up, perhaps, for our crummy weather!) England produced the Beatles, the Stones and the Who And a capital city, London - equaled by few. England serves the very best tea England has health care that is free. England is the place to be England is the land of the free.

Ancient Greek Myths Odysseus and the Cyclops Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 to 15 minutes reading time (around 20 with addition of music) One of several Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell. A set of 5 Ancient Greek Myths is also available in Guided Reading format, each with 6 speakers, and its own quiz. Sample Text: Poseidon: Oh I’m sure it is! So you stopped off at my son’s island for a bit of a holiday? (To audience) I’ve heard the Greek islands are a favourite holiday destination. Island hopping, I believe you call it? Odysseus: Well, that was hardly our intention. We wanted to get home. Ancient Greek 6: But stopping off for a bit of a rest did make sense. Ancient Greek 7: Though it didn’t turn out to be quite the holiday we expected! Ancient Greek 8: Stuck in the back of that cave (Enter Polyphemus, finding his way to the group, with the aid of a white stick) Polyphemus: (Bellowing loudly) My home! Ancient Greek 9: Hardly the best that Airbnb have to offer! Polyphemus: (Bellowing angrily) Pardon? There’s nothing wrong with my cave I’ll have you know! Ancient Greek 10: Nothing at all – until you get your head bashed against one of the walls! I was the first to suffer at your hands Ancient Greek 11: And I the second! Ancient Greek 1: And I the third! Ancient Greek 2: And I the fourth Ancient Greek 3: And I the fifth Ancient Greek 4: And I the sixth! Poseidon: (Tutting) Son! Really! That was rather greedy, even by your standards! Polyphemus: (Muttering sulkily) But I didn’t eat them all in one go! Odysseus: (Sarcastically) Oh that was very good of you! Polyphemus: Well, thank you! Poseidon: No, I think he’s being sarcastic, son! The lowest form of wit. But something tells me, not quite low enough for you! Odysseus: (To Polyphemus) So come on! What have you got to say in your defence? Surely you don’t want your old man thinking you have the table manners of a monster? Polyphemus: (Spluttering) Well, I er, Ancient Greek 5: You just fancied a change from lamb stew, right? Polyphemus: (Beaming) Oh that’s right! Indeed I did! Ancient Greek 6: I expect lamb gets pretty boring night after night? Polyphemus: Oh you’re right! Ancient Greek 7: So we made a pleasant change to your diet? Polyphemus: (Slapping his large belly, fondly) Well, I’d hardly call it a diet!

Ancient Greeks Theseus and the Minotaur Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 10 - 15 minutes reading (this does not include music suggestions) Monsters and heroes - not the easiest cast to deal with! But then Poseidon is more than man - sorry, make that - god enough to take this lot on! Also available (as separate purchase): This assembly plus Guided Reading Script plus Quiz (one of large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell) Sample Text: Music 1 – El Matador Music (Cast file into hall, in order of speaking, taking seats along two rows of fifteen facing the audience) Poseidon: Welcome to this tale about (Enter Theseus) Music 2 Holding Out for a Hero – Bonnie Tyler (chorus) (Theseus strides up and down, bracing his muscles and striking various ‘heroic postures’) Theseus: A hero! That’s me, Theseus! (Theseus gestures to cast to cheer) (Whole cast cheers) Poseidon: And (Enter Minotaur) Music 3 Deeper Underground – Jamiroquai (chorus) (Minotaur ‘skulks’ up and down, glaring at both cast and audience) Minotaur: Me! The Minotaur! (Minotaur ‘paws the ground’, snorts in anger and glares at cast who all boo) Poseidon: Hmm. Quite a split! In fact Theseus: (Interrupting) You could say, Good versus Evil! Poseidon: (Glaring at Theseus) I could! But I’m not going to, if it’s all the same to you! (To audience, aside) These heroes! Think they’re God’s Gift! Theseus: Well, you may not have regarded me as a gift (pauses) Dad! (Pauses) But my other father did! (Enter Aegeus) Aegeus: Ah Theseus, my son! There you are! (To audience) I hope you haven’t been listening too much to this god, here (pointing at Poseidon). Gods! Way too much time on their hands and far too many off spring to show for it! Poseidon: What was that? Aegeus: Oh nothing, Poseidon! Just commenting on how creatively you fill your time. Truly awesome! Poseidon: Well, as God of the Seas I guess I am rather (pauses) what did you say? Oh, awesome, that’s right! A shame not everyone was in such awe of me as you! (Enter Minos) (Whole cast hisses and boos) Minos: (Angrily) Hey! That’s no way to greet the King of Crete! Aegeus: (Contemptuously) Pah! Some king you were! Minos: (Laughing) Huh! And you were any better, oh great King of Athens? (Pauses) Now, just remind me. Who had to send human sacrifices to who? Aegeus: (Exclaiming) Why, you evil, wicked, cruel, vindictive .. Poseidon: (Interrupting) Yes, yes. I think we get it. You two didn’t like each other much, did you? Aegeus: Oh I’ve barely started.

Ancient Greek Myths The Gorgon's Head Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes not including music What was Poseidon thinking - taking on all these women? He might succeed at putting the youth Perseus in his place but a group of 'wronged women'? Never! This is one of a large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell – guided reading scripts also available. Sample Text: Medusa: Just like I said! Gods! Men! The bane of our lives! Poseidon: (Clutching his forehead, muttering) I think I have a headache coming on. (Pauses)You know something? I suddenly feel just a little outnumbered! Would you ladies mind just giving me a short break? (Exit Athene, Medusa and Danae, shrugging their shoulders) Poseidon: Phew! Peace at last! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against ‘the weaker sex’ (Athene comes storming back) Music 3 War – Edwin Starr – Brief excerpt Athene: What was that you just said? Weaker, eh? I’ll show you weaker! (Athene strides up and down, wielding her sword) Poseidon: (Holding hand up) OK. I apologize. Athene: Goddess of wisdom and war! (To Poseidon) You’d do well to remember that! Poseidon: (Aside) As if I could forget! (To Athene) Now, what was I saying about having a little peace? Athene: Huh! Give me war any day! (Exit Athene) Poseidon: (Clutching head) Women! I knew I should never have agreed to this! (Enter Perseus, giving Poseidon a ‘high five) Perseus: What’s up, bro? Poseidon: (Indignantly) Bro? I’ll give you bro! Perseus: OK so I guess it’s Uncle, really – seeing as Zeus was my dad, and your brother! Poseidon: Correct! So, no more bro, right? Perseus: Fair enough! So, what’s the plan, dude? Poseidon: (Exploding) Dude? That’s even worse than bro! What is it with you youngsters? Can’t you talk normally? Perseus: (Sighing) OK I’ll try! I’m just not used to hanging out with oldies like you! Poseidon: (Exploding) Now look here, young Perseus! If you and me are going to get along, you need to show a little respect! (Enter Danae) Danae: Perseus! Where are those manners I taught you? Poseidon: I think he might have lost them during his travels! Danae: Well, let’s help him find them again! Poseidon is only trying to Poseidon: (Looking at his watch) Get this story told? Well, that’s proving a bit of a challenge! (To Danae) No offence, madam, but you women don’t half talk a lot! (Enter Polydectes, accompanied by ‘several’ women, all chatting and laughing) Polydectes: (Groaning) Tell me about it! You want to try keeping them quiet in court! Once they get going there’s no stopping them!

Twelve New Labours of Hercules Assembly NB: This script is not about the original 12 Labours of Hercules! It is based around a completely different set of challenges – on the kind of ‘admirable qualities’ the cast feels Hercules should have – presenting him with a 12-part self-improvement plan! This is a kind of spin off from the Superheroes script - almost a reversal in fact; as whilst in that script it was Hercules trying to make superheroes out of a pretty unpromising cast, this script is about the cast pulling the punches - Hercules struggling along in their wake! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration around 15 - 20 minutes not including music suggestions. This Key Stage II class play is PSHE ‘orientated’ as it focuses on 'character improvements' e.g. humility, courage, mutual respect, upholding what is right, keeping positive, patience, love .... and of course the hardest of all, being happy! Sample Text: Child 11: A start to your self-improvement plan. Hercules: My what? Child 12: Well, we all feel you are lacking Hercules: Me? The great Hercules? Lacking? Child 12: (Coughing) If you would allow me to finish? We all feel you are lacking – make that, greatly lacking in some of the qualities you should have as Hercules: As a great superhero? I don’t think so! Child 13: Actually, I was going to say, as a member of the human race! Your mother was a mortal, right? Hercules: Yes Child 14: So I’m sure she’d appreciate us trying to improve you! Hercules: Huh! How can you improve on perfection? Music 3 Chariots of Fire theme music (Hercules strides around ‘looking magnificent’) (Child 15 walks over to the music and turns it off) Hercules: (Indignantly) Hey! What’s the big idea? Child 15: I think we all get it! You are Mr Universe! Hercules: (Looking very pleased with himself) Well, thank you. I Child 15: (Pointing to head) In your head, that is! Hercules: (Furiously) Pardon? Child 15: Oh do stop saying that! Anyone would think you had a hearing problem! Hercules: (Spluttering) I most definitely do not! Everything about my physique is perfect! Child 15: Like I said, maybe on the outside. But it’s what’s on the inside that is sadly lacking. But don’t worry, we are going to help fix that! Hercules: (Sarcastically) And may I ask how? Child 16: You may! All very simple. You just have to complete 12 simple tasks that we set you. Hercules: (Laughing) Oh I get it! You are going to give me another 12 labours.

The Twelve Labours of Hercules Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down; Duration around 15 minutes not including music suggestions - this could double the length of the assembly or class play. Every teacher's dream come true - an Ancient Greek superhero calling in to reignite the class's interest in a subject they have been doing all term! Hercules does so well ... until the arrival of that wicked king Eurystheus; but it doesn't take long before the latter realises his mistake in taking on this class - and it is truly heartening for all teachers everywhere to hear such respect from Hercules for their magnificent efforts! Enjoy The Twelve Labours of Hercules in fun, entertaining style - if it works for this set of children, it will definitely work for yours! Hercules features in two other scripts written by Sue Russell: 1. Superheroes Assembly for KSII – where Hercules has the dubious pleasure of converting a class of very un-super heroes … into super heroes! 2. Twelve New Labours of Hercules – in which the tables are turned on Hercules as he is the student on a self-improvement programme – this one with its focus on PSHE (i.e. ‘admirable’ character qualities!) Sample Text: Eurystheus: (To Narrator) Now. How many labours have we done? Narrator: Just three! (Loud groan from cast) Child 20: What? Nine more to go? Child 21: You have to be kidding? Child 22: This had better be good! Eurystheus: (Peevishly) What is it with these kids? A case of short attention span or what? (Cast all cross arms angrily, in defiant posture) Narrator: I’d be careful what you say, if I were you! This lot are easily upset and you might just find yourself in a bit of a spot! Eurystheus: (Laughing) Are you suggesting I should be worried by a load of kids? Oh don’t make me laugh! (To cast) Now. About this fourth labour. (Whole cast yawns loudly) Hercules’ task was to capture the Erymanthian Boar. Child 23: Did someone say ‘bore’? Child 24: As in, bore us to death’ Child 24: I think we can safely say, he already has! (Whole cast nod) Eurystheus: Now wait a minute! (Eurystheus walks over to the props box and tries to find ‘Boar’) Eurystheus: (Muttering) it must be in here somewhere! (Child 25, who had, unseen by Eurystheus, crept over to the props box and taken the Boar, pounces out at him, making him leap in the air and scream with terror; Hercules falls about laughing, as does the rest of the cast)

Ancient Greek Myths Pandora's Box Assembly or Class Play This class play can be used as an assembly (for performance) or as a class play, to be read within the classroom. Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 15 - 20 minutes reading not including music suggestions. The Seven Deadly Sins plus all those Vices? No wonder our Narrator is worried! But as with all good stories, this one has a happy ending - well, maybe not for all those baddies! This is one of a collection of Ancient Greek Myth scripts – assemblies and guided reading scripts, sold as separate and combined products. This play could also be used as a PSHE resource – on resisting temptation, and the victory of good (hope) over evil (Seven Deadly Sins plus, in this case 19 Vices). Sample Text: Music 5 – You’re Beautiful – James Blunt (Epimetheus sings love song to Pandora) Narrator: (Indicating for music to stop) Yes, yes. We get it! Young love! Epimetheus: Oh come on! Look at this perfect woman? How could I possibly resist? Narrator: (To audience) Aha! Somebody else who couldn’t resist temptation! (To Pandora) No offence to you, madam. (To Epimetheus) But did you not look a little deeper? I mean, yes, she’s undoubtedly beautiful but (Optional burst of The Price You Pay – Bruce Springsteen) Pandora: (Angrily) Oh right! It’s the blond argument, right? The ‘well, if she looks that good, there can’t be much underneath’? No spirit, heh? Music 6 Missionary Man – Eurythmics (Pandora throws off her ‘pretty clothes’ displaying a much stronger image) Narrator: (Holding up hand for music to stop) Whoa! That’s not the Perfect Pandora I was expecting! Epimetheus: (Gasping) And that’s not a side of my wife I’ve ever seen before! Pandora: Of course not! You only ever wanted me to be that perfect ‘domestic goddess’ – sitting around, looking pretty, staring vacantly out to space! Epimetheus: Well, isn’t that what wives are supposed to do? Narrator: Not this one, I suspect! (Optional excerpt of Thorn in my Side – Eurythmics – Pandora strutting up and down) Narrator: (Holding hand up) OK. Yes, we’ve got it! So underneath all that sweetness was a whole heap of frustration! Pandora: More like mega boredom! I mean, what was I supposed to do all day? Epimetheus: Stay out of mischief?

General Election Assembly - Who should be our next prime minister? 6 weeks to go … and bored with the General Election already? Then this assembly is your perfect tonic! As for our narrator, who would envy their task of choosing a prime minister - from a class of 30?! The choice? Football stars, movie stars, rock stars ..... and a whole lotta girl/boy attitude between the Spice 'lot' and a certain Direction! Somebody needs to tell them about equality - and who better than .... S Club 7?! This is a very light hearted look at the coming election. The ‘possible candidates’ are a selection of celebs – chosen purely for entertainment sake. For a more serious ‘take’, the script could be adapted to include a far more serious list of people either now or in the past e.g. Gandhi, King, Mandela, Mother Theresa etc. Likewise, whilst dealing with the current topic of the election, this script could be used for citizenship because of its PSHE component – this latter could be extended by adding a section on ‘What would you change if you were prime minister?’ Duration: 10 – 15 minutes reading time; around 20 – 30 minutes including music suggestions. Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down; and characters may be replaced by children’s own choices. Sample Text Child 1: I think David Beckham should be prime minister! Child 2: Nah! It’s got to be Lionel Messi! Child 3: No! Wayne Rooney has my vote! Child 4: Rubbish! It’s got to be Cristiano Ronaldo! Narrator: (Blowing whistle) Excuse me! Since when did any of these footballers know anything about politics? They might be pretty good at running up and down a pitch, but running a country? I don’t think so! (Exit Child 1, 2, 3 and 4) Narrator: Next! (Enter ‘athlete’ – Child 5) Child 5: I’m here representing the world of athletics! I’d vote for Jessica Ennis! Narrator: (To audience, sighing) What is it with kids and sport? (To Child 5) Yes, I can see why you might think Ms Ennis would set us all a fine example Child 5: A prime role model! An inspiration to us all! Narrator: Yes, yes. I totally agree! But there is a difference between running along those tracks Child 5: In record times! Narrator: And, …..let me finish…., running the country! (To audience) Am I having a moment of déjà vu or didn’t I just say that a very short while ago? (To Child 5) Anyway. Thank you … but no thank you! (Exit Child 5) Music 3 Theme music from Doctor Who

Olympic Games Assembly for Key Stage I. This script covers past ‘host nations’ but is predominantly an overview of the 2016 sporting events. Cast size 30. Olympic Games Assembly for Key Stage I Rio 2016 With coverage of all hosts nations (past and present) plus all the sports present at the Olympics, this is quite an epic - even by the Ancient Greeks' standards! Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - 10 to 15 minutes Sample Text: Kallipateira: Huh! But I don’t see any horses! You should have seen our chariot races! (Enter Equestrian Team) Rider 1: Well, our horses may not race but look how well behaved they are! Rider 2: And look how well they jump! (Exit Equestrian Team) Narrator: So that just leaves (Enter Ball Games representative, carrying various balls and rackets) Ball Games rep: The Ball Games! Narrator: Let me help! (Reading from a list) Tennis, table tennis, volley ball, hockey, golf, rugby, football, basketball, handball and badminton! (Exit Ball Games representative) (Recitation of Olympic Ode Chorus) (Enter Archery, Shooting and Fencing representative, carrying assortment of ‘equipment’) Narrator: Wow! What are all these sports! Archery, Shooting and Fencing rep: Archery, Shooting and Fencing! (Exit Archery, Shooting and Fencing representative) (Recitation of Olympic Ode Chorus) (Enter cyclist, on bike) Narrator: And last but by no means least! Cyclist: Watch me cycle! (All applaud) (Exit cyclist) (Enter Homer) Homer: (Spluttering) Well! Narrator: Not speechless again, are we, Homer? Homer: Just a bit! I think it’s time I returned to Ancient Greece – where life was a lot simpler! Other scripts available: 1. Brazil - Host Country to 2016 Olympics 2. Olympics PRIDE Assembly (PSHE 'team spirit' script) 3. Olympic Games 2016 Leavers Assembly 4. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly - covering all 28 sports 5. History of the Olympics Assembly 6. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly: history and events - combined script including Olympic Ode 7. Paralympics 2016 Assembly GUIDED READING SCRIPTS 1. A Complete History of the Olympic Games Guided Reading Scripts plus quizzes - set of 8 scripts, plus quizzes 2. Olympics PRIDE Guided Reading QUIZ Rio 2016 Olympic Games Quiz - 100 questions and answers! plus OLYMPIC ODE