It's Good To Be Me Leavers Assembly

It's Good To Be Me Leavers Assembly
Class size - any
Duration - open ended
This leavers’ assembly can be tailored to any class or year group size; and likewise can be any length.
I have provided a 'skeleton script' of around 5 minutes actual reading time but with numerous opportunities to add on e.g. in 'Wish' and 'Achievement' sections. There are also numerous songs/music which can be included or omitted accordingly.
There is the additional fun 'option' of the schools staff 'joining in' at the end - but this is optional and can be left out.
Sample Text:
Child 1: What’s there to celebrate?
Child 2: (Holding up Numeracy exercise book) Look at my scores in Maths. Five out of ten, six out of ten, three out of ten … Why do I bother? I’ll never get Maths!
Child 3: Huh! Think that’s bad? You should see the marks I get in my spelling tests! You think you’ve got number blindness? (Child 2 nodding in agreement). Well, I’ve sure got a bad case of blindness when it comes to stringing more than two letters together!
Child 4: But at least you don’t make everybody around you wish they were deaf! (Starts singing totally off key/out of tune ‘Do Ray Me Far So La Tea Doe’ set of scales. Whole cast clasps their hands over their ears). See what I mean?
Teacher: (Uncovering ears) Hey? What? Oh, you mean your slight lack of musicality? Well, maybe there is just a little room for improvement.
Child 5: (Holding up bits of woodwork, taped together but falling apart) And what about my latest Design Technology ‘project’? I don’t think I’ll be getting the call to build the next Olympic stadium!
Teacher: (Stroking chin, reflectively) Hmm. Maybe not.
Child 6: (Holding up ‘art work’ – black dot in middle of yellow paint) And I don’t suppose I’ll be in the Tate Gallery any time soon!
Teacher: Ooh. I wouldn’t bank on it – have you been recently? ‘Anything goes’ there! I think your work would fit in perfectly!
Child 7: (Breathlessly) But what about me? I try every year to run that one minute mile – but have I got beyond one hundred metres yet? (Starts coughing and clutching his side) Not a chance!
Teacher: Enough! Enough! What is wrong with you guys?
Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell:
• Leavers' Assembly for Year 6's
• Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly
• Olympics Leavers Assembly
• School's Out Leavers' Assembly