My mother-in-law, Dada, and my own mother have both been great influences. My mother-in-law taught me how to cook Italian and my mother (who is also a very good cook) taught me independence and confidence and optimism. I couldn’t have opened a restaurant without knowing the things I’ve learned from the two of them.

I grew up in upstate New York, and although food was important to my family, the meal table was more important as a place to meet and talk. Italian food to me then was the American version - tomato-based, rich and rather heavy. It was a complete revelation when I met Richard’s mother, who came from Trieste and had lived all her young years in Florence. She showed me how to cook Italian food that was very healthy and light.

My mother-in-law and I hit it off straight away, although I was a bit apprehensive at first because Richard had told me what an amazing cook she was. I used to sit in her kitchen and watch her create this wonderful food which was very distinctive. You could always recognise her cooking because her style showed through whether she was making pasta or cooking vegetables or making a dessert. She did wonderful lamb, roasted very slowly, and vegetables cooked in olive oil which were never greasy - we have a recipe for Carrots Dada in one of our cook books. She had a magical touch; everything was delicious. She made fantastic, very alcoholic ice creams and strongly flavoured fruit sorbets.

She was a great improviser. When she came to live in London in the war and ingredients were hard to come by, instead of making zabaglione in the traditional way with marsala she found that a combination of Bristol Cream sherry and rum was a good alternative.

We visited her every Sunday and I often saw her during the week as well. When I went to her house I always walked straight to the fridge to check what was inside. She never threw anything away. There were always little bowls and saucers containing delicious leftovers.

She was a very stylish woman, very elegant. Even when she was 90 she dressed in beautiful colours. She died two years ago and was offering advice right up to the end. Her last words to me were: “Ruthie, you must remember two things: always put moisturiser on your face, and don’t use too many herbs when cooking fish because they can overpower the flavour.”

Because of the confidence my mother gave me, I wasn’t intimidated by my mother-in-law. My mother is my role model. She had three children, was married to a country doctor and at the age of 40 took herself back to university and got a degree in education. Now in her eighties, she is an extremely independent person. When my father died, rather than go back to her home town, New York, she stayed in London. She’s made new friends, goes to the theatre, takes courses, goes bird watching and travels all over England. It’s from her I have inherited a love of people and enthusiasm for taking on a challenge. I started out as a graphic designer. I had no training to run a restaurant, but thanks to my mother I had a feeling I could do it.

Both Dada and my mother have tested my recipes. My family are my sternest critics. My mother-in-law loved my chocolate cake and the way I cook fish, and my mother’s favourite is pumpkin, farro and chestnut soup. I shall be serving it for her 87th birthday lunch.

Chef Ruth Rogers was talking to Pamela Coleman

The story so far

1968 Studies English at Bennington College, Vermont

1970 Studies graphic design at London College of Printing

1973 Marries architect Richard Rogers

1975 Meets future business partner, Rose Gray

1987 Opens River Cafe restaurant in Hammersmith, London, with Rose Gray

1989 River Cafe named Restaurant of the Year by The Times

1995 River Cafe Cook Book, first collection of recipes, published

1998 River Cafe awarded a Michelin star

September 2001 River Cafe Cook Book Green published in paperback (Ebury

Press, pound;17.50)