Every so often, the fact that I am a parent of a child with complex special educational needs (my son has Down’s syndrome) comes in useful, professionally speaking.

I don’t mean using signs or speech therapy or anything like that, although it has been handy. I mean my understanding of parents and what their needs are.

When my son started school, he was pretty much non-verbal. He had a few signs, but answering the question “What did you do at school today?” was out of the question. Unless he came home covered in glitter, I had no idea what he’d been up to. And, seeing as I was not only a mother but had been involved with Portage (an early education charity working with children with SEND), and was a teacher, I was interested, invested and wanted to know.

So we came up with a plan, his teacher and I. We agreed that he would have a “diary”: a book that travelled between home and school, containing essential news items. At first, it worked well. I had a window into his world that would have been impossible otherwise.

It wasn’t long, though, before the tone changed. After a period in which I got a blow-by-blow account of the day (and wondered where she found the time), it became more negative, until, what had been something I opened with interest when I was sorting through my son’s book bag, looking for important letters demanding pirate costumes or fairy cakes became the Book of Dread.

So, after 10 years of home-school diaries, I have come up with some handy dos and don’ts to help you avoid those sinking moments when everything - and I mean everything - seems, despite your best intentions, to have gone wrong.

Do use the book to remind parents of upcoming events

Having a child with SEND means that even vital information, regarding school trips or Inset days, can slip through the net.

Don’t use the book to detail every little thing

The time spent doing that could be spent doing something else, like making resources.

Do use the book to celebrate achievements

Watch out for those small moments of progress - you could make someone’s day by doing so.

Don’t use the book to offload your frustrations after a difficult day

Sometimes what you say can have negative ramifications, rather than whipping the parent and child into line.

Do use the book to communicate serious incidents

In the same way that you would with any other child.

And remember, while a home-school diary is a great way to communicate, there is no substitute for a face-to-face chat. Don’t hide behind it and forget to build that relationship that could make a world of difference to you all.

Nancy Gedge is a consultant teacher for the Driver Youth Trust, which works with schools and teachers on SEND. She is the TES SEND specialist and author of Inclusion for Primary School Teachers