The energy in the descriptionconveys a genuine affinity with the natural world and theinhabitants of the sea. Repetition adds a structure which reinforces the mood of appreciation and the poignancy about the whales’ destruction.
The lines about understanding hint at the sad finale without giving it away, and there is both accuracy and perception in the language used. The “swaying, piping” of the kelp has a beautiful resonance, and “clasping” is a beautiful and apt word to use about seaweed. I also particularly like the elision of “dolphin dance”, and the opening line that personalises the sound of the whales by establishing the writer’s presence and sensibility as integral to what might have otherwise been mere description.
Dolphin Thoughts The clickety-click of my tongue.
In the blue sea the sea wind swaying me into the dolphin dance.
The natural twists and turns of my body - beauty but no understanding.
The brain-otter, diving deeper and deeper into swelling, crashing thoughts - thoughts but no understandings.
Kelp, swaying to the music of wind and water,a swaying, piping dance - movement in words.
Seaweed clasping each other and others over and over again - feeling but no understanding.
Blue whale crying its cries, bleeding from the deepness of the harpoon that froze the warm blood of life - death but no peace.
Rosie Dunnett
Rosie Dunnett, 10, receives the “Red-All-Over-Riddle Book” by George Szirtes (Faber) . Submitted by Tim Scott of St Michael’s C of E Junior School, Highgate, London N6, who receives a set of Poetry Society posters with teacher’s notes. Please send students’ poems, preferably no longer than 20 lines, to ‘TES’ Young Poet, Admiral House, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1 9XY. Eva Salzman is writer-in-residence at the Bromley-by-Bow Centre, east London. She has published two volumes of poetry: “Bargain with the Watchman” (Oxford University Press) and “The English Earthquake” (Bloodaxe)
