Anyone who has ever hooked up with a colleague will know that one of the chief concerns of the workplace romance is keeping it under wraps for as long as possible - and that is doubly true when your work involves teaching a bunch of teenagers who never seem to miss a trick.
If you’re trying to keep a relationship with a fellow teacher on the down-low, here are some dos and don’ts.
DON’T post anything on social media
Oh, your social media is private? Locked down? Only got real friends on there? DO NOT TRUST THEM. You cannot trust your real friends to keep this a secret. People love to gossip about work romances, even when there is nothing to even gossip about. So unless you want the whole staffroom nudging each other and winking on Monday morning, keep it off all social media.
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DO go on dates outside of the catchment area of your school
No one wants to bump into their students as they’re about to sneak a kiss under the mistletoe, so plan your dates with the school intake in mind.
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DON’T tell students
If students ask (and be ready for them to ask!) don’t go red, or stutter, or even laugh. Just say, blank-faced and straight: “That isn’t appropriate.”
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DO give it a chance
Teacher survey app Teacher Tapp found that 24 per cent of its panellists are partnered with another teacher. And there could be a good reason for that: the survey also found that those who were with another teacher were more likely to report having a good work/life balance.
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DON’T try to put people ‘off the scent’ by flirting with other teachers
The only outcome of this will be that people will think you are generally confused - and unprofessional. No one is that interested in your love life, so don’t try to recreate a plot for a third-rate romcom.
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DO arrive separately
This is the biggest giveaway when teachers start dating. All it takes is being seen by Paulo on reception, and then Brenda knows, and then Ali in photocopying, and then everyone knows.
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DON’T carry on seeing the person just because you think it will be awkward to stop
It is much better to put the brakes on a doomed relationship at the top of the hill, than once you’re up to full speed halfway down it. Never date someone out of politeness.
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DO find things in common other than work
There is only so long you can chat work with someone. If you get into the habit of just rehashing the day with each other, instead of forming a relationship independent of school, then you’re probably not going to go the distance.
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Grainne Hallahan is a secondary school teacher in Essex
