Why a career in teaching is like a marriage

From that first date (or job interview), teaching is a long-term relationship – but is it true love, asks Sarah Mullin
14th February 2021, 4:00pm

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Why a career in teaching is like a marriage

https://www.tes.com/magazine/archived/why-career-teaching-marriage
Why Being A Teacher Is Like Being In A Marriage

I cannot imagine many professions where people could truly say that they love their job

Sure, teaching isn’t perfect. And, yes, it can be challenging at times. But, deep down, most teachers would agree that there’s no job we would rather do.

Sounds a bit like a marriage, doesn’t it? In fact, in many ways being a teacher is just like being in a relationship. Here’s why.

Single and ready to mingle 

It all begins with finding the perfect role. You scan the Tes app, looking for a dream job as you carefully consider your non-negotiables. 

Maybe you have a friend who knows about a vacancy that sounds just your type on paper. Or perhaps you find the ideal role when you least expect it, through your social or professional networks

Butterflies fill your tummy as you dare to imagine that you might have found your perfect match. And, soon enough, your first date is arranged - also known as the job interview

The first date 

What should you wear? What time should you arrive? You’re nervous and excited in equal measures. 

You arrive at the school and your heart skips a beat. As you sit down in the reception area, you know - deep down in the pit-of-your-stomach knowing, which you couldn’t yet put into words - that this school is pretty special. It’s everything you hoped it would be and more. 

And about time, too. You’ve been on so many first dates now that even entertaining your friends with all the excruciating anecdotes is no longer as much fun as it was. There was the interview where you arrived only to find that you had been completely catfished. The one where you learned halfway through that staff turnover is high and morale is low. There was the school that didn’t call you back, and the one where you were the one to make polite excuses and withdraw from the shortlist.

The honeymoon period

You’ve got the job, moved into your classroom and you’re fully prepared for the term ahead. Through your rose-tinted spectacles, life is bliss. Your colleagues are great, your pupils are lovely, and the world is simply a wonderful place to be.

That is, until… 

The lovers’ tiff

Cover lessons? Pay freezes? And what’s all this talk about administering Covid tests? This was most certainly not what you thought you were getting yourself into.

Another meeting that could have been an email? You’re not sure if you can take any more. 

Is it just a rough patch or are true colours beginning to show? You feel deflated. Surely when you love someone, you treat them well? And they’re not treating you right, maybe someone else will…

The Christmas break up

You’ve had enough. There’s more to life than this. You decide to take a break and block school from all aspects of your life while you consider your future. You turn on your out-of-office emails and decide it’s time to invest in yourself. 

You take the time you need to relax, recuperate and spend time doing the things you enjoy. You start to realise that you can’t possibly be a great teacher partner until you learn to love yourself first. 

You know your worth and vow that, from now on, your own wellbeing must come first, which will have a positive impact on your productivity.

The reconciliation

You communicate your feelings, and realise that the grass is greener where you water it. Relationships are a two-way street, after all. 

You realise that you want to grow together; you share the same core values. And so you and teaching commit to building a brighter future together, working towards the same goals: giving the children a positive start in life. Your love for your job is reignited.

A lifelong commitment

You realise that teaching is definitely the right job for you. Sure, there may be other careers out there: ones with better pay, ones with less stressful conditions, or ones with clear-cut nine-to-five hours. But this is the job you love, for better or worse.

And you really do love it. It’s far from perfect, and you know that the two of you will have to navigate some challenging times ahead. But you’re fully committed to making it work. You will look after one another and support each another, because you’re in it for the long haul. 

After all, teachers who love teaching teach children to love learning. So, while you may not feel like sending education a hearts-and-flowers Valentine’s gift this year, please know that you make a real difference to the lives of children and young people every single day. And that really is a work of heart.

Sarah Mullin is a deputy headteacher and doctor of education student. She is the curator of “What They Didn’t Teach Me on My PGCE”, and the founder of #EduTeacherTips, a YouTube channel for teachers, by teachers. She tweets @MrsSarahMullin

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