Miracles of Jesus Assembly and/or Guided Reading Scripts This assembly can be used as a class play (for performance) or as a set of guided reading scripts within the classroom – there are a set of questions for class discussion included in the Production Notes. The five plays within this assembly are: Turning Water into Wine Feeding the Five Thousand Walking on Water The Raising of Lazarus from the Dead Healing Miracles including Healing the Man Born Blind Cast of 30 - Narrator plus Student, with cast of 5 for the first 4 plays and then cast of 8 for the fifth. Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes not including hymns Sample Text: Music 1 Love Divine All Loves Excelling hymn (Cast files into hall, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience; Narrator and Student standing to one side) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Cast: (Together) Miracles! Narrator: The miracles of Cast: (Together) Jesus! Student: Wow! This should be amazing! I’ve never seen miracles performed live before! Narrator: And I wouldn’t count on seeing any here today! Student: (Protesting) But Narrator: (Interrupting) But nothing! Jesus never intended his work to be seen as magic! He was not there to entertain but to teach. Student: (Stifling a yawn) If you say so! Narrator: I most certainly do! So, if you don’t mind, we’ll get going with the very first miracle Jesus performed at that Wedding in Cana. Music 2 Hymn – Lord at Cana’s Wedding Feast Play 1 Water into Wine Miracle (Enter Jesus, bride, groom, servant 1 & 2) Jesus: Was ever there a happier occasion than a wedding? (Bride and groom talking together in worried tones) Bride: What are we to do? Groom: This is a disaster! Jesus: But wait? What is the matter with our happy couple? Servant 1: Have you not heard? Servant 2: The wine has run out!

Time Travelling in Ancient Egypt Guided Reading Scripts or Readers Theater This is the first of a series of ‘Time Travels’ – based on guided reading scripts which were written as supplementary classroom resources to Class Plays or Assemblies. Please note: This Time Travel Series only currently consists of the one product - on Ancient Egypt. I am really waiting to see if there is sufficient interest in this product in order to follow with the rest of the series. A group of Time Travelers has been added along with a few 'tweaks' to the original script (still available along with accompanying quizzes under Guided Reading - Ancient Egyptians Guided Reading Play Scripts.) Written in play format with 6 speakers to each of 5 ‘plays’ (Total number of speakers – 30) Each play is around 5 minutes reading time and comes with a quiz at the end Total time: around 35 – 40 minutes Unit 10The Ancient Egyptians Introduction to Ancient Egypt Guide plus five other Time Travelers – Adam, Mary, Peter, Susan and Phillip Guide: Well, what do you know? Here we are! Adam: But where is here? Guide: (Looking around) Why, here in Ancient Egypt of course! Play 2 Farmer's Year Speakers: Farmer 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 &6 Farmer 3: Though we did leave a lot behind for those archaeologists! Always digging things up and learning about how we lived. Farmer 4: Pots and pans, jewelry, weapons, (pause) .. and loo seats! Yes, the first known toilet seat in the world was dug up in the ancient Egyptian city of Akhenaten in 1350 B.C. I don't suppose anyone was still sitting on it! Play 3 Daily Life Speakers: Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Teacher, Priest Son: Yes, they weren't just amazing buildings, for us living persons to stand and admire. Priest: No indeed. Far more importantly they were designed to send our pharaohs to join the gods in heaven. Daughter: Wasn't that called the after-life? Priest: Yes. A world free of low life. Son: Are you talking about those tomb robbers again? Priest: Yes. We tried to make things harder for them. And then someone thought of hidden tombs! Play 4 The After-life Speakers: Chief Priest, Embalmer, Mummy, Anubis, Osiris, Ammut Chief Priest: Ready to stuff? Embalmer: Yup! With straw, linen and sweet smelling herbs! Add a little salt Mummy (muttering): This one obviously thinks he's a celebrity chef! Chief Priest: No! A little more than just a pinch of salt! This natron needs to cover the body if it's going to dry out over the next 40 days! Play 5 The Gods Speakers: Amun, Nut, Thoth, Human, Hapi, Seth Hapi (snorting) Hmph! Hapi by name but not always by nature!

Great Artists Assembly or Class Play - Key Stage I Bruegel and Lowry Script Cast Size - 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 - 15 minutes depending on time spent on children's own artwork. (There is a section of the script dedicated to children showing and describing their own work - this section can be omitted thus reducing duration to around 5 - 10 minutes) Sample Script Bruegel: Oh well! Let me tell you now! I had to disguise myself as a peasant Child 12: Why? Bruegel: Oh so that I could see what it was like …. being a peasant! Child 13: And what was it like – being a peasant? Bruegel: Well, I try to show that in my paintings. Teacher: You see, children. Up to this time, only kings and queens and people with lots of money were painted. Narrator: Lucky for us Bruegel came along – and showed us how the poor people lived! (Bruegel goes back to work at his easel) (Lowry looks up from his work, and stands up) Lowry: So did I! Narrator: Pardon? Lowry: I also showed what it was like to be a worker! (Narrator walks over and holds up Lowry painting, to show cast and audience) Child 14: (To Teacher) That’s like the pictures you showed us, Miss! Teacher: Quite so! Child 15: They show us how people lived in the industrial cities of England. Child 16: Smoking factories Child 17: Long streets Child 18: Long people! Narrator: Pardon? Child 19: Oh, he means – the people look a bit like matchstick men! Lowry: (Laughing) That was my style! This script is one of the Famous People Series based on the lives of significant individuals in the past who have contributed to national and international achievements, comparing aspects of life in different periods. This list of ‘greats’ includes: · Queens - Elizabeth I and Victoria · Explorers - Christopher Columbus and Neil Armstrong · Inventors - William Caxton and Tim Berners-Lee · Women: (i) In Civil Rights - Rosa Parks and Emily Davison (ii) Nurses - Florence Nightingale, Mary Seacole and Edith Cavell. I am happy to write on alternative individuals as per my 'write on request' service - so please drop me a line on sue@plays-r-ussell.com

India Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - minimum 10 minutes reading time - this, as explained in Production Notes, could be increased to 30 minutes plus The cast (should that be caste?!) of this Indian Assembly or Class Play is anything but equal with the appearance of three gods - two with 4 arms and the other with 4 heads - which one is the narrator supposed to address? Just one of the many problems facing our narrator - the main one being sheer volume of music, colour, joy and .. well everything that makes India such a vibrant country! Sample Text: Music 2 (Shiva dances across ‘the stage’) (Narrator tries to stop him but is confused by the number of arms – four) Narrator: Er, em, excuse me … but who are you and what are you doing? Shiva: What am I doing? Isn’t it obvious? I’m dancing, of course! Narrator: Well, I think we can all see that. But who are you? Shiva: (Exploding) Who am I? Who am I? Narrator: Well, if you put it like that – yes, who are you? (Whole cast gasps in horror) (Child 7 goes over to Narrator) Child 7: (Aside) Surely you know who this is? Narrator: (Irritably) Well, do you really think I’d be asking if I did? Child 7: It’s Shiva – the Destroyer! (Narrator gasps) Narrator: Oh no! Not that god with the power of life and death? Child 7: That’s the one! Narrator: (To Shiva) Oh I am most dreadfully sorry! I had no idea that it was you, Shiva! Shiva: Oh I’ll forgive you! I guess I do look (waving arms around) pretty ‘armless! Narrator: Well, I wouldn’t say that! I mean, I think I counted … four arms? Shiva: Oh that’s nothing! When you compare it with number of names I have! Narrator: And they are? (Holds up fingers to start counting on) Now, let’s see. Starting with Shiva … Shiva: Er, I don’t think we have time to run through the others – there are over one thousand of them! This is one of several assemblies written by Sue Russell on different countries. Others include England, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta and India plus ‘Around the World in 20 Minutes’. Other Indian scripts: Divali and the Story of Rama & Sita (as a play within a play - a little like Midsummer Night’s Dream!) plus scripts on Gandhi and on the Indus Valley Civilisation.

Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Great Mysteries of the World Assembly In the hands of the great Sherlock Holmes, how can there be so many great mysteries of the world still unsolved? Read on! Cast of 30. Reading time around 10 minutes. Mysteries (7): • King Arthur • Building of Ancient Egyptian Pyramids • Stonehenge • Lost Minoan Civilization • Eldorado • Loch Ness Monster • Bermuda Triangle Sample Text: (Silence ensues as Narrator, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson await next ‘mystery’) Narrator: (Impatiently) Next! (More silence) (Narrator looks through his notes in agitation) Narrator: Now, let’s see. That Minoan Civilization! Where have they got to? Sherlock: Er, I think that’s just the point! You see, they disappeared around 1450 BC. Narrator: What do you mean, disappeared? Sherlock: (Mimicking waving a wand) Vamoosh! Gone! Narrator: OK so can we lose the crazy wizard act? Or did Arthur leave his Merlin behind? (Enter Arthur Evans) Arthur Evans: Well, luckily for us, much of the great palace at Knossos remained so we can at least find out lots about how the Minoans lived. Narrator: And you are? Arthur Evans: Archaeologist, Arthur Evans! Sherlock: Ah, an earthy detective! Arthur Evans: Yes, you could say that! Not afraid to get my hands dirty! Watson: All that scrabbling around in the ground – not quite my cup of tea! Arthur Evans: Ah but the rewards are great! To unearth all 1,500 rooms of that Minoan palace – to say nothing of the fact that Crete is a delightful Greek island on which to vacation! Sherlock: Hmm. I guess it beats the dirt and grime of our Victorian back streets! Arthur Evans: Indeed. And such a lovely climate. You know Narrator: (Interrupting impatiently) Gentlemen! Gentlemen! We are not here to discuss possible holiday destinations! What I want to know is, what happened to the people who built and lived in this great palace that you speak of?

Risk and Danger Assembly Perhaps first thing I should point out is that this assembly poses absolutely zero risk to the general public! And I include audience and cast in that statement! Cast of 30, duration around 10 - 15 minutes not including music suggestions: 1. Dangerous – Michael Jackson 2. Take a Chance – Abba 3. Superstition – Stevie Wonder 4. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor 5. Oops I did it Again – Britney Spears This script maintains an element of fun throughout what is quite a serious theme. The Narrator certainly thinks so, armed with Health & Safety Directive! But it also looks at the lives of some of our greatest heroes - and how they had to forsake 'risk assessment' (did they have that in Horatio Nelson's day?!) in favour of sheer valour. Some great quotes - thank you Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Woody Allen, among others. Oh and of course the great Julius Caesar for providing some much needed action! Following is feedback from customer who requested I write this script: ‘Love, love, love it thank you so much! I highly recommend Sue's Plays class assemblies. They are clever, witty and the children have so much fun performing them! Sue wrote a fabulous class assembly to meet my specific title and got it to me within one day. I was overwhelmed with Sue's quick response and attention to detail. Thank you, Phil.’ Feedback like this keeps me writing - HUGE thank you to Phil! Sample Text: Narrator: And you all have statues of yourselves in London, am I right? (All nod) Richard the Lionheart: But we didn’t all die comfortably in our beds! Narrator: (Sighing) I just knew I could hear a but coming! Horatio Nelson: But don’t you see? (Passes telescope from ‘bad’ eye to good) Ah that’s better! What was I saying? Sir Thomas More: I think you were trying to say, none of us could have achieved what we did in our lifetimes, without taking some risks. Narrator: (Aghast) Risks? You mean, you took more than one? Mary Queen of Scots: (Impatiently) Of course we did! You can’t go through life all wrapped up in cotton wool Boadicea: Even if it means you do come to a somewhat sticky end! Narrator: Ooh! Not on this stage, please! (Julius Caesar stumbles onto the stage, with ‘dagger in his chest’) Julius Caesar: Et tu, Brute! (Julius Caesar collapses in a heap) (Tumultuous applause from the whole cast) Narrator: (Tutting) So much for 'Famous last words'! (Exit everyone except Narrator, moping his brow) Narrator: Oh dear! And after all that risk assessment I did earlier today – and I still manage to get carnage on the

Awesome Animal World Record Breakers Assembly This script was written for KS II but can be simplified for KSI. A separate script for KSI will shortly be available Cast of 30 Cast size can be easily adjusted up or down by the adding on or taking off the suggested list of animals. Duration Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions As with cast size, this can be altered according to the number of animals and amount of information given on each. This script covers the biggest, the smallest, the fiercest, the fastest, the smartest, the longest-living ..... a truly awesome cast! KS I script shortly available Sample Text: Narrator: (Jumping back in alarm) Wow! I didn’t see you fly in! Komodo Dragon: (Patiently) That’s because I didn’t! I’m a Komodo dragon from South East Asia. And, just for the record, I neither fly nor breathe fire! Narrator: But you look pretty fearsome, for all that! Komodo Dragon: Well, I am the world’s largest lizard and I do have some pretty unpleasant poison and bacteria in my saliva! Narrator: Ugh! Not a nice way to die! I think we’ll have you just sitting nice and quietly back here, where you came from! (Narrator leads dragon back to his place) Music 4 Chariots of Fire (Enter Ostrich, running gracefully in time to the music) (Narrator holds up hand for ostrich to stop) Narrator: Er excuse me! I hate to interrupt your morning exercise Ostrich: Oh, I can go way faster than that! I’m just warming up! Apart from being the world’s biggest bird, I am also the fastest runner – for a bird, that is! Seventy km an hour! Narrator: Wow! That’s fast (pauses) considering your size! Ostrich: I also lay the largest eggs and have the biggest eyes to watch over them! (Enter Goliath bird-eater spider – whole cast shrieks and cowers in fright) Goliath Bird-Eater Spider: Just as well you don’t live anywhere near me! Ostrich: (Haughtily) South America is a long way from my African home (pauses) but seriously? One stamp from me and you’re history!

Fairer World Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Narrator plus Protestors 1 - 29 Duration Around 20 minutes including music and/or poetry suggestions. This script deals exclusively with fairness as a social and economic issue. Mention is made in the script of Children’s Rights. For a full ‘account’ of these see Children’s Rights Assembly. Sample Text Protestor 17: Those suffragettes might have got women the vote but there is still a long way to go before women have equal rights with men. Protestor 18: And what about the disabled? They are also still treated differently from the rest of us. A closer study should be made of their rights! Protestor 19: And what about the elderly? Do they always have as much say as they should? Protestor 20: (Stamping foot) And us children! We have rights too! Narrator: (Hurriedly) Oh I don’t think anyone would argue with that! Protestor 21: Is it really so much to ask? That all people be given the same chance in life? Protestor 22: That everybody has the same opportunities? Narrator: Aha! And that is where education is so important! Protestor 23: Good education for all so we can all achieve our full potential. Protestor 24: And it’s just as important that we keep ourselves informed, via the news and media, about the rest of the world. Protestor 25: Some countries do not have the wealth and resources that we have. Protestor 26: Developing countries or countries of the Third World need our help – now! Protestor 27: We have more than enough for ourselves – so we should be prepared to share our good fortune with others less fortunate than ourselves. Another script entitled Fairer and More Sustainable World Assembly combines fairness and protecting the environment. It is 'The Environment Assembly' plus a segment from the Fairer World Assembly i.e. a combined script. For full coverage of social issues/justice, I would suggest making Fairer World a separate purchase. Other scripts available are as follows: Assemblies/Class Plays on: • Bullying and how to deal with it • British Values • Children’s Rights (as mentioned above) • Mutual Respect • numerous other PSHE scripts – in both assembly/class play and guided reading format plus • Our Planet (available as class play and as a set of guided reading scripts) • Environment Assembly

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

Pancake Day Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30. Duration 15 - 20 minutes. Maybe a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? And whoever said flipping a pancake was easy? Definitely time somebody in the kitchen gave up something for Lent - could the belly size of that Master Chef, Monsieur Bon Appetit, be a clue? This is a light-hearted assembly based on Shrove Tuesday - otherwise known as Pancake Day or Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Sample Text: Narrator: Hmm! But the whole point of Shrove Tuesday Chef 13: Is that it’s the last day before Lent! Chef 14: Which is all about giving up things. Narrator: And how long does Lent last? Chef 15: Well, traditionally it’s forty days Chef 16: Between Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday Chef 17: Or around six weeks leading up to Easter. Narrator: OK. So going back to Shrove Tuesday, why the pancakes? Chef 18: Well, I guess they’re a way of using up things like eggs, milk and sugar before this time of fasting? Narrator: (Clapping) Ah! You guess right! Congratulations! So, what are we waiting for? (Enter Master Chef) Master Chef: Or shouldn’t that be, who are we waiting for? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Moi? Narrator: Ah! You must be Master Chef: Monsieur Bon Appetit! Narrator: A fine name Master Chef: For a fine chef! The best! Moi? Je suis magnifique! Narrator: (Aside) And so very humble! (To Master Chef) Monsieur, we are delighted you could join us today! Master Chef: Mon plaisir! (Looking around) So, where is mon cuisine? (Everyone looks around in confusion) Narrator: Er, I think it might be helpful if you could try and stick to English. Master Chef: (Huffily) As you wish! So, where is my pan? Where are my ingredients? Where Narrator: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! We’ve got all that sorted! Look! You have an army of chefs to help you! Master Chef: (Muttering to audience) Hmph! Ever heard the expression ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’? Narrator: Sorry, we didn’t quite catch that! Master Chef: Oh don’t worry! Just saying what a delightful set of helpers I have here today! So, let us start. (Enter Chefs 19 - 28 with ‘kitchen props’; chefs proceed to prepare pancakes under watchful eye of Master Chef, who stands over and checks their every move, occasionally stepping in to show them how it is done ‘properly’)

Lent Assembly or Class Play So, what are you giving up this Lent? As usual, our poor narrator has dubious task of coaxing sensible - make that, any - sort of response out of his reluctant cast! And as for even thinking about giving up chocolate - well, let's just say, the devil knows better! Although there is the usual high quotient of humour in this play, the subject matter is serious - and there is a clear explanation covering what Lent is all about. Duration: approximately 10 minutes reading time - longer with inclusion of mixture of beautiful and comical music. Written for cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Sample Text Child 5: Lent covers a period of forty weekdays – that’s approximately six weeks but not including Sundays. Child 6: During this time Christians traditionally devoted themselves to fasting, abstinence and penitence. Child 7: In other words, leading a less extravagant lifestyle and reflecting on how they could improve themselves. Child 8: You mean, recognising their faults and doing something about it? Child 7: That’s right. Child 9: Hmm. Fair enough. But going without food for forty days? I’m not sure about that one! Child 6: Nah! You remember I used the word ‘traditionally’? Well, Christians have become a lot more relaxed about fasting these days. Most people today just give up something like, well, chocolate for example! Child 10: (Exclaiming indignantly) Chocolate? Going without chocolate for forty days? Are you serious? Narrator: Oh come on! Surely you could survive without chocolate for forty days? Child 10: (Emphatically) I don’t think so! Narrator: Forty hours? Child 10: No! Narrator: Forty minutes! Child 10: (Hesitantly) Hmm, maybe Narrator: (Impatiently) Forty seconds? Child 10: (Triumphantly) Done! Narrator: So let’s talk about what this Lent is all about. (To Child 10) And then we might have some ideas about what to do with you! Why, for example, does Lent last for forty days? Child 11: This was the period of time Jesus spent in the wilderness, fasting and praying, before beginning his public ministry. Child 12: The wilderness? Sounds like a pretty scary place to be! Child 13: It was! Let’s see just how scary it was and how Jesus dealt with it!

Easter Story Assembly Cast of around 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time (this does not allow for changes of scene, music etc taking play to around 20 minutes) This Easter Story class play relates to all the major events: Jesus' jubilant entry into Jerusalem, Jesus' fury in Temple, Judas' act of betrayal, The Last Supper, Arrest in Garden of Gethsemane, Caiaphas' 'verdict', Roman Trial with Pontius Pilate leading to Crucifixion, Tomb scene and Peter's summing up at the end. The play begins and ends on a jubilant note - starting with 'Give me Joy in my Heart' and ending with 'Lord of the Dance'. SAMPLE TEXT: Scene 1 Jerusalem Music 1 (Child 1 and 2, Woman 1 and 2, plus lame child stand in a line, waving palm leaves over their heads, and singing chorus to the hymn, whilst eagerly awaiting arrival of Jesus. Standing to one side of them are two stern-looking priests, scowling in disapproval) (Enter Peter) Peter: (Addressing singers) Wow! What joyful music! Tell me. What are you celebrating? Child 1: Haven't you heard? Peter: Heard what? Child 1: Of the coming of the Son of God? Child 2: Of the King of the Jews? (Enter priest 1 and 2) Priest 1: Son of God, did you say? Priest 2: King of the Jews, did you say? Woman 1: Why, haven't you heard? It was prophesied He should enter Jerusalem, on a donkey. That's what we're all waiting for! Woman 2: (Holding hand of lame child) I'm hoping he can heal my little lad - that he can perform a miracle. Just as he has done for so many others! Woman 1: What a wonderful man! What power he has! (Priest 1 and 2 take themselves to one side, to continue their conversation between just the two of them) Priest 2: Who is this man who claims to be king and Son of God? Priest 1: And those ‘magic powers' of his? I don't like the sound of them, one little bit! Priest 2: What would our High Priest say? What would King Herod say? Priest 1: Guilty on two counts, me thinks! Priest 1: Blasphemy and treason! Priest 2: Let's hang around and see this king for ourselves! Child 1: Here he comes! Here he comes! Woman 1: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Woman 2: Blessed is the great prophet from Nazareth! (Enter Jesus. Walks along ‘crowd' of well-wishers, all waving palm leaves and singing. At the end of the ‘line', Jesus stands smiling, enjoying the singing)

Easter Egg Hunt Assembly – Key Stage II Cast Size - 10 or 30 (short and long version within one script - as explained in production notes) or any number in between. The main characters? Clumsy Chicken, Tactless Turkey, Grumpy Goose, Daft Duck, Feisty Pheasant, Greedy Guinea Fowl, Sad Swan, Envious Emu, 'Onourable Ostrich ... and an Easter Bunny called Funny Bunny! A star cast! And with over 20 jokes (not all of them fowl!) - join the crew and find out if Clumsy Chicken can be saved from her fate - as roast chicken! Duration: 10 - 20 minutes. (10 minutes reading time; addition of songs/music takes performance to around 20 minutes) Also available to buy separately: Key Stage I version of this script - Clumsy Chicken is joined by 29 feathery friends! The perfect excuse for a mask-making extravaganza! These two scripts could be combined to add length to either i.e. jokes from the Easter Egg Hunt (KS II) could be added to the Key Stage I script; and additional characters from the Key Stage I script added to the Key Stage II script. Sample Text Child 13: How do you make a rabbit stew? (Pauses) Make it wait for three hours! Funny Bunny: (Holding up hands) OK! Enough! Child 14: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! Funny Bunny: (Angrily, and having a quick itch) OK! What didn't you understand about enough? Clumsy Chicken: (Jumping up and down, hysterically, on the spot) And I'm running out of time! Don't you see? If I can't give a basketful of eggs to the farmer, I'm .... I'm... Tactless Turkey: Roasted? I think that's the word you're looking for! (Clumsy Chicken clucks all the louder) Funny Bunny: Now! Now! Don't panic! Don't panic! I'm sure help is at hand (Enter Envious Emu and ‘Onourable Ostrich) Envious Emu: (Strutting angrily up and down) Do you know? That peacock bird has been getting right up my beak! All that (demonstrates) flouncing around with her peacocky feathers! It's enough to make you ill! ‘Onourable Ostrich: Now, now! You really should try to be less envious of others! Anyone would think your name was Funny Bunny: Envious Emu? Envious Emu: How did you guess? A bunny with brains! Fancy that! Grumpy Goose: Unlike this bird - with very little brain! Maybe it never made it to the top of that neck!

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 15 - 20 minutes (without inclusion of music suggestions) Our Narrator has faced some 'mission impossibles' in his time but a Superheroes Assembly without ... Superheroes? Thank goodness there is always an Ancient Greek superhero around when you need him. But bringing out the 'super' in these particular heroes may prove too much of a challenge even for Hercules! Sample Text: Music 1 – Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler (Whole cast file in, in order of speaking, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to (Silence as Narrator waits for cast to respond - nothing but a couple of feeble coughs) (Narrator turns round to face cast, speaking sideways on so that audience can hear) Narrator: What’s going on? Where are all my Superheroes? Superhero 1: Do you mean, us? Superhero 2: If you want a show of superpowers here today, you’re out of luck! Narrator: But why? What’s going on? Superhero 3: More a case of what’s not going on! Superhero 4: ‘Fraid we’re all recovering from colds Superhero 5: And not feeling in the least bit ‘superhero-ish’! Narrator: (Gasping) Oh no! So what am I supposed to tell this audience? Superhero 6: Come back another day? Narrator: No, I can’t do that! As you can see, they’re all here! Superhero 7: Well, sorry, but even superheroes have their off days. Narrator: (Desperately) But not, please, on the day of my assembly! Superhero 8: ‘Fraid so! Narrator: (Clasping head and groaning) Oh no! This cannot be! What a disaster! Music 2 Greased Lightnin’ – Grease (Enter Hercules, performing John Travolta moves) Narrator: Well, good morning! (Looking through notes in confusion) This is … er … a bit of a surprise! (Hercules snatches notes) Hercules: Oh you don’t want to bother with those! Let’s go for a bit of good old fashioned spontaneity this morning! Narrator: Old fashioned? Hercules: Well, maybe a bit more than old. Make that, Ancient. (Pauses) Oh, and Greek! Narrator: You mean, Ancient Greek? Hercules: Exactly! And who better to represent that magnificent race – than myself, the great Hercules? Narrator: Wow! You certainly were a superhero in your time!

Good and Bad Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered why some people are happy and others not? Could it perhaps have anything to do with their outlook on life? The two gangs in this assembly certainly see life very differently - well, they would, wouldn't they - given that one are a group of peace-loving hippies and the other, a group of street-wise warriors? But no differences are irreconcilable. Read on! Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes without inclusion of music suggestions (which will double the length of performance) Sample Text (BG stands for Bad Gang; GG stands for Good Gang) BG Leader: (To GG Leader) There you have it, Sunshine! That’s my gang! Where’s yours? Music 3 Joybringer – Manfred Mann’s Earthband (BG 15 – 28 perform song, singing and dancing, joyously) GG Leader: (Applauding) Ah now that’s more like it! Thank you so much! GG 1: Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening! BG 1: (Mimicking) Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) (BG 2 goes over to GG 2, in threatening manner) BG 2: So what are you going to say, little ‘joybringer’? (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) GG 2: Oh you needn’t think I’m afraid of you! BG 2: Well, you should be! I don’t reckon much of your chances in a stand up fight with us lot (Turns to Bad Gang) Am I right, guys? Bad Gang: (Aggressively) Right! (BG 2 swaggers back to seat) GG 3: Oh I can’t tell you how much we’re (pointing to Good Gang) all looking forward to that! (Collective Gasp from Bad Gang) BG 3: Are you mad? Or just plain stupid? GG 3: (Laughing) Maybe a little mad! But (pointing to Good Gang) we’re all good with that, right? Good Gang: (Joyfully) Right! BG 4: (Contemptuously) Pah! Just look at them! Thinking themselves so great! GG 4: Oh I can assure you we’re far from being just thinkers! BG 4: (Laughing, sarcastically) Right! You still up for some action? (BG 4 struts up and down, bracing his muscles; Bad Gang all do the same) GG 4: Very impressive – as a display! Shame it doesn’t have much substance! BG 5: Pah! Just jealous, that’s what you are! Making fun of us – how low can you stoop! GG 5: (Anxiously) Oh we didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourselves Music 4 Bad – Michael Jackson (Bad Gang all jump to their feet and perform again, as before)