Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Great Mysteries of the World Assembly In the hands of the great Sherlock Holmes, how can there be so many great mysteries of the world still unsolved? Read on! Cast of 30. Reading time around 10 minutes. Mysteries (7): • King Arthur • Building of Ancient Egyptian Pyramids • Stonehenge • Lost Minoan Civilization • Eldorado • Loch Ness Monster • Bermuda Triangle Sample Text: (Silence ensues as Narrator, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson await next ‘mystery’) Narrator: (Impatiently) Next! (More silence) (Narrator looks through his notes in agitation) Narrator: Now, let’s see. That Minoan Civilization! Where have they got to? Sherlock: Er, I think that’s just the point! You see, they disappeared around 1450 BC. Narrator: What do you mean, disappeared? Sherlock: (Mimicking waving a wand) Vamoosh! Gone! Narrator: OK so can we lose the crazy wizard act? Or did Arthur leave his Merlin behind? (Enter Arthur Evans) Arthur Evans: Well, luckily for us, much of the great palace at Knossos remained so we can at least find out lots about how the Minoans lived. Narrator: And you are? Arthur Evans: Archaeologist, Arthur Evans! Sherlock: Ah, an earthy detective! Arthur Evans: Yes, you could say that! Not afraid to get my hands dirty! Watson: All that scrabbling around in the ground – not quite my cup of tea! Arthur Evans: Ah but the rewards are great! To unearth all 1,500 rooms of that Minoan palace – to say nothing of the fact that Crete is a delightful Greek island on which to vacation! Sherlock: Hmm. I guess it beats the dirt and grime of our Victorian back streets! Arthur Evans: Indeed. And such a lovely climate. You know Narrator: (Interrupting impatiently) Gentlemen! Gentlemen! We are not here to discuss possible holiday destinations! What I want to know is, what happened to the people who built and lived in this great palace that you speak of?

Harvest Festival Whole Class Assembly This class assembly, written for cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) is a kind of alternative Harvest Festival, the suggestion being the class are the crop with teachers as harvesters. Duration around 10 - 20 minutes depending on how much music is used. Starting with hymn 'We plough the fields and scatter' and ending with beautiful Michael Jackson song - 'We are the world, we are the children' which sums up the message behind this assembly. Also available - another Harvest Festival script written for just 6 speakers (feathery fowl!) but with suggestions in productions notes as to how to convert this into whole class assembly. Sample Text Child 1: It’s easy because all you have to do is give or share whatever gift you have! Narrator: Wait a minute! You’re losing me! (Repeating) ‘Whatever gift you have’? Child 2: Right! We all have our own special gift to give! Child 3: Bit like a seed in all of us. Child 4: Sometimes that seed germinates by itself Music 2 (Enter Child 5, singing, as ‘rock star’ – choice of ‘rock star’ track down to children) Narrator: (Applauding) Wow! That’s some voice you’ve got! Child 5: Well, thank you. But it wouldn’t mean anything to me unless I could share it with my fans! (Exit Child 5) (Enter Child 6, writing) (Narrator walks over to Child 6, who gives notebook to him/her to read) Narrator: Wow! How did you come up with all these ideas? What a story! Child 6: Thank you. And it’s the fact I can share it with all my hundreds of thousands of readers that makes it so special to me. (Exit Child 6) Child 7: But we’re not of course suggesting we can all be rock stars or famous authors! Child 8: Some of us, despite huge talent, may reach a much smaller audience. Child 9: Fame isn’t everything and it is only the tiny minority that achieve it. Child 10: Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t all strive to make the very most of whatever gift we possess. Narrator: Ah! I see! (Pauses) By ‘gift’ you mean ‘talent’? Child 11: That’s right! And we all have our very own special talent – even if it doesn’t bring us fame and riches! Child 12: (Grunting and pulling a face) Hmm. That’s a shame!

Seaside Assembly Key Stage I - based on Unit 4 Geography: Going to the Seaside and *Unit 3 History: What were seaside holidays like in the past? Cast of 30: Teacher, Class plus 'helpers' - in case of Grandpa Brown, not entirely clear who is helping who! Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes including music suggestions. This assembly takes us from the classroom, onto the coach, to the seaside - and back again! Granny and Grandpa Brown provide us with some insights into 'trips to the seaside in their time'. And there is the usual smattering of great songs ... and extremely bad jokes! If you're planning a trip to the seaside, jump on board this one for some useful tips! Sample Text: Child 17 (boy): Sharks! (Some of the girls start screaming) Teacher: Stop! Enough, boys! (To girls) They’re just teasing! Nothing for you to worry about! And you won’t be going anywhere near the sea anyway. Why is that? Child 18: Coz it’s too cold, this time of year, Sir? Child 19: Coz you forgot your swimming trunks, Sir? Teacher: (Impatiently) No, no. Nothing like that! Think ‘safety’, children! Child 20: There could be nasty strong currents, sir! Grandpa Brown: Currants? Mmm! And raisins? Oh, yes please. I am feeling a little peckish! Teacher: (Clutching head in exasperation) No, currents as in moving water! (To Child 20) You’re right! We have to be careful not to go in the water Child 21: Because of sharks? (Girls start screaming again) Teacher: No, no, no! No sharks! We’ll be staying on the beach

Dinosaurs Rock Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered which dinosaur was the *biggest, the smallest, the most heavily armoured, the brightest, the fastest, the deadliest, the weirdest ..... Read on and find out! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes not including music Also available, set of guided reading dinosaur scripts Sample Text Music 2 - We Will Rock You - Queen (Enter Seismosaurus, Mamenchisaurus, Giganotosaurus, Spinosaurus, and Carcharodontosaurus) (Everyone shaking in seats) Narrator: What's happening? Is it an earthquake? Seismosaurus: Sorry! That would be me! I'll try not to move - all 120 feet of me! They don't call me ‘earth-shaking lizard' for nothing! Mamenchisaurus: But when you've got necks as long as us, you really don't need to move that far! My neck alone was 46 feet long! Gigantosaurus: And I, Gigantosaurus, was the daddy of the meat-eaters! All 8,000 kilograms of me! Carcharondontaurus: And I sure had a mean pair of ‘choppers' - no prizes for guessing where my name ‘shark-tooth lizard' came from! Spinosaurus: Well, take a look at my jaws! I, Spinosaurus, was called spiny lizard because of these spines on my back, but nobody was going to argue with these (snapping crocodile-like jaws, open and shut) For optional poetry addition see The Dinosaurs That Time Forgot by David Harmer and Paul Cookson. Writer, Sue Russell, has included information from recent discovery of 'the largest' as per Telegraph article "Giant of giants rises from the desert" May 18 2014

Stone Age to Iron Age Class Play Cast of 30 – easily adjustable up or down Duration: 15 to 20 minutes not including music suggestions This is one of two scripts written by Sue Russell and was written for upper Key Stage II (9 – 11 year olds). The second, Changes in Britain from the Stone Age to the Iron Age - also available off this website - was written as a simplified version of this one, for lower Key Stage II i.e. 7 – 9 year olds. This script has a truly wide-ranging cast that includes a hunter gatherer, a farmer, some guys with ropes from Stonehenge, a 'Rolling Stone', a caveman, ape, cast of Ice Age, a Celt, Iron Man ... and a Narrator and Archaeologist that just can't seem to get on! Starting 9 million years ago and running through all three 'ages': Stone, Bronze and Iron (yes, the play does take 'ages'!) this is an informative but, as usual, fun romp through history - with one long-suffering narrator! I chose to try to explain a little about evolution and how Stone Age Man 'came about' so as to put the aforementioned Ages into context. There is a phenomenal amount of information to cover in this 'Unit' but I hope I have covered the most important changes in this class play. The guided reading scripts, which can be read in the classroom, to accompany this class play, will I hope offer a more comprehensive coverage of the subject, with the usual quizzes to assess knowledge gained. Sample Text: Whole Cast: (Together) The Stone Age! Narrator: Ah! There we are! Now, that’s progress for you! (Enter Hunter Gatherer) (Narrator looks him up and down) Narrator: Hmm. Well, maybe not that much progress! (Exit Hunter Gatherer, shrugging his shoulders) Child 9: (To Narrator, angrily) Patience! Evolution takes time! It doesn’t just happen overnight, you know! Narrator: (Looking at his watch) I’m beginning to realise that. Now, where are we on that timeline? Child 8: (To Narrator, impatiently) Around 2 and a half million years ago! Weren’t you listening? When man starting using stone tools! That’s why it’s called Whole cast: (Together) The Stone Age! Narrator: OK! We got that! But how do we know that’s when stone tools were used? (Enter Archaeologist) Archaeologist: (To Narrator) You asking more questions again? Narrator: Well, Archaeologist: (Interrupting) That’s OK! That’s why I’m hired to do my job! To give people like you evidence!

Risk and Danger Assembly Perhaps first thing I should point out is that this assembly poses absolutely zero risk to the general public! And I include audience and cast in that statement! Cast of 30, duration around 10 - 15 minutes not including music suggestions: 1. Dangerous – Michael Jackson 2. Take a Chance – Abba 3. Superstition – Stevie Wonder 4. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor 5. Oops I did it Again – Britney Spears This script maintains an element of fun throughout what is quite a serious theme. The Narrator certainly thinks so, armed with Health & Safety Directive! But it also looks at the lives of some of our greatest heroes - and how they had to forsake 'risk assessment' (did they have that in Horatio Nelson's day?!) in favour of sheer valour. Some great quotes - thank you Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Woody Allen, among others. Oh and of course the great Julius Caesar for providing some much needed action! Following is feedback from customer who requested I write this script: ‘Love, love, love it thank you so much! I highly recommend Sue's Plays class assemblies. They are clever, witty and the children have so much fun performing them! Sue wrote a fabulous class assembly to meet my specific title and got it to me within one day. I was overwhelmed with Sue's quick response and attention to detail. Thank you, Phil.’ Feedback like this keeps me writing - HUGE thank you to Phil! Sample Text: Narrator: And you all have statues of yourselves in London, am I right? (All nod) Richard the Lionheart: But we didn’t all die comfortably in our beds! Narrator: (Sighing) I just knew I could hear a but coming! Horatio Nelson: But don’t you see? (Passes telescope from ‘bad’ eye to good) Ah that’s better! What was I saying? Sir Thomas More: I think you were trying to say, none of us could have achieved what we did in our lifetimes, without taking some risks. Narrator: (Aghast) Risks? You mean, you took more than one? Mary Queen of Scots: (Impatiently) Of course we did! You can’t go through life all wrapped up in cotton wool Boadicea: Even if it means you do come to a somewhat sticky end! Narrator: Ooh! Not on this stage, please! (Julius Caesar stumbles onto the stage, with ‘dagger in his chest’) Julius Caesar: Et tu, Brute! (Julius Caesar collapses in a heap) (Tumultuous applause from the whole cast) Narrator: (Tutting) So much for 'Famous last words'! (Exit everyone except Narrator, moping his brow) Narrator: Oh dear! And after all that risk assessment I did earlier today – and I still manage to get carnage on the

Little Red Riding Hood Play cast of 6 – an alternative version of the Brothers Grimm version of the Fairy Tale This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm - but re-written, just as they did! These include Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel and Cinderella - all very alternative! This alternative Little Red Riding Hood play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast of 6, reading time approximately 10 - 15 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty scripts are also available as assemblies, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Sample Text Little Red Riding Hood: But Grandma, what big ears you’ve got! Narrator: All the better to hear you with! (Aside) Oh! This is even better than I thought! I’m an absolute natural. I can hear that phone ringing now ‘Would you be available to star in the West End next week? We’ve heard such glowing reports about ..’ Little Red Riding Hood: Hey! Wait a minute! Narrator: No! No! What about the teeth? Little Red Riding Hood: Oh! OK. Now you come to mention it, they do need a bit of a clean! Narrator: No! No! Stick to the script! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh you mean, ‘But Grandma, what big teeth you’ve got’? Narrator: (Growling) All the better to eat you with! Little Red Riding Hood: (Nonchalantly) Yeah, right! Narrator: Hey! You’re meant to scream and run away! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh really? Narrator: Can’t you see, I’m not your grandma but a wicked wolf, come to eat you? Little Red Riding Hood: Well, the wolf in the woods seemed harmless enough; and (Little Red Riding Hood removes Narrator’s mask) I’ve been to enough bad school plays to realise you’re not the real thing! (Enter Wolf, growling savagely) Wolf: Whereas I am! (Little Red Riding Hood screams) (Enter Grandmother) Grandmother: Oh really, Little Red Riding Hood! Do you have to make all this noise? Little Red Riding Hood: But there’s a wolf in here! Can’t you see? And anyway, aren’t you meant to be unwell? Grandmother: Oh that’s just your mother, making a fuss as usual. Nothing wrong with me! Wolf: Well, that’s where I’m afraid we disagree! Grandmother: (Indignantly) Pardon? Narrator: Yes, I’m with the wolf on this one!

Fairy Tales Assembly for Key Stage I (Numerous alternative fairy tale plays available for Key Stage II) This assembly or class play is based upon the following fairy tales: · Sleeping Beauty · Cinderella · Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs · The Three Little Pigs · Goldilocks and the Three Bears Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time (without inclusion of music suggestions) Quite an eye-opener this one - for our narrator, at least! It would seem you really can’t judge a book by its cover - well, certainly not when you're dealing with these fairy tale characters! Sample Text: Music 6 Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf (Wolf suddenly jumps out from hiding, bringing cheerful singing to an abrupt halt) Wolf: (Grinning) Ha! Not so full of yourselves now, huh? Little Pig 1: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You don’t frighten me! Little Pig 2: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You can’t bully us! Wolf: (Laughing) Oh really? (Wolf lets out a huge growl and all three little pigs ‘run for their lives’) Wolf: (Laughing) Whose afraid now? Narrator: Now, that really wasn’t very nice of you! Wolf: (Repeating, incredulously) Nice of me? Whoever heard of a nice Big Bad Wolf? Narrator: But you’re not really big and bad, are you? Wolf: Of course not! But (pointing to the audience) I have to keep this lot happy, don’t I? Narrator: You mean, being big and bad is what is expected of you? Wolf: Of course! It’s all an act! Narrator: (Clapping) Well, you’re very convincing! And (looking at audience) I for one am mighty relieved he’s not as bad as you all think he is! (Wolf shakes hands with narrator, growls savagely at audience, and exits) Narrator: Ah! I do so love happy endings! Me still being alive, that is!

Robin Hood Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 15 minutes reading time. This does not include *music suggestions/dance routines which could potentially double the length of the performance. So, are those Merry Men about to have their smiles turned upside down? Never! Not even in the face of those brutish Guards? Double never! Not when you've got some neat tricks/moves up the sleeves of your tunic! See how good triumphs over evil without any blood being shed - it is a family show! *Sample Playlist • Bad – Michael Jackson • I Need a Hero – Bonnie Tyler • Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas • Happy – Pharrell Williams Sample Text Narrator: Hey! You might think you’re a hero! Peasant 1: But you haven’t done anything yet! Narrator: Right! All that dancing and prancing! Peasant 2: You need to demonstrate to us that you’re a hero! Narrator: No more theatrics! Peasant 3: Prove yourself! Narrator: Stop all this lovey dovey stuff – that can wait til later! Peasant 4: It’s our futures you need to change! Peasant 5: Show us you’re the man you say you are! Peasant 6: Take on those baddies! Peasant 7: Be our hero! Robin Hood: Hey! Steady on! I may be pretty good with this bow and arrow Maid Marion: (Sighing) The best, or so I’ve heard! Robin Hood: But taking on the whole of Prince John’s crowd? Whoa! That’s a tall order! (Enter Little John, squaring up to his great height) Little John: Well, I, Little John, am more than up to the challenge! (Enter rest of Merry Men) Friar Tuck: And you can count me, Friar Tuck, in! Alan-a-Dale: And me, Alan-a-Dale! Will Scarlet: And me, Will Scarlet! Much the Miller’s Son: And me, Much the Miller’s Son! Narrator: (Clutching head) Oh wow! That’s some fighting force you have there, Robin! An overweight man of the church, a minstrel, an ex-soldier and a miller’s son! Peasant 1: (Sarcastically) Wonderful! Peasant 2: More than enough to take on Prince John’s men! Peasant 3: They won’t know what’s hit them! Peasant 4: The friar’s belly Peasant 5: The minstrel’s lute Peasant 6: The ex-soldier’s rusting sword Peasant 7: Or the miller’s son’s bag of flour! Peasant 1: Some army! Come on, folks. Let’s leave this lot to their fantasies! (Exit Peasants, muttering sadly) (Enter Prince John, Sheriff of Nottingham and Sir Guy of Gisborne plus Guards) Sir Guy of Gisborne: (To Robin Hood) Aha! The villain himself! Seize him, guards! (Guards seize Robin Hood) Maid Marion: Why you cowards! Seven against one! I’d hardly say that was fair! Sheriff of Nottingham: (Laughing) But hadn’t you heard, sweet lady? Nothing is fair around here!

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Play This re-telling of the original story stays true to the plot - with just a small twist at the end. Oh, and anyone wishing to play the original 'delightfully wholesome' Dorothy may be in for a bit of a shock! There is also a Christmas version of this class play or assembly - with, as you would expect, a few Xmas additions! This is available as a separate purchase. Cast of 30 (with some doubling up) Duration: Around 30 minutes not including the music suggestions. Also available: · The Wizard of Oz Guided Reading Scripts (10 of these, with 6 speakers each; around 3 minutes each – total reading time around 30 minutes Sample Text: Wicked Witch: Now. Where have that little gang of misfits got to? I don’t suppose anyone would miss them! Narrator: Whatever do you mean, ma’am? ‘Miss them’? Wicked Witch: Oh, haven’t you heard? I’m about to wipe them off the face of Oz! Good riddance I say! Narrator: (Gasping) You what? But you can’t! Wicked Witch: Oh really? Just watch me! (Enter Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Woodman and Cowardly Lion) Wicked Witch: Ah here they all are! Right on cue! Like lambs to the slaughter! (Sound of wolves howling) Wicked Witch: Bring on the wolves! (Enter wolves – who are then all ‘knocked out’ by Tin Woodman) (Whole cast cheers, as Tin Woodman waves his axe triumphantly) (Exit wolves, rubbing their heads) Wicked Witch: (To Tin Woodman) Hey! That’s no way to treat my pets! I’ll report you to the RSPCA! (Sound of Crows ‘cawing’) Wicked Witch: Bring on the crows! (Enter crows. Scarecrow pulls a silly face and they all retreat in terror) (Whole cast cheers, as Scarecrow struts up and down triumphantly) Wicked Witch: Hey! What happened to my crows? Narrator: (Pointing to Scarecrow) Well, he is a scarecrow, remember? (Wicked Witch stamps her foot in disgust) (Sound of bees buzzing) Wicked Witch: Bring on the black bees! (Enter bees. Each ‘stings’ Tin Woodman then ‘drops down dead’) (Whole cast cheers as Tin Woodman struts around victoriously) Wicked Witch: (Shrieking) Now what? What has happened to my black bees? Narrator: Er, I think you’ll find they just all died. Isn’t that what bees do, once they have stung? Wicked Witch: (Shaking fist) Drat! And double drat! Why didn’t I think of that? (Sound of marching feet) Wicked Witch: Bring on my Winkie Soldiers! (Enter Winkie Soldiers, marching purposefully towards ‘the group’) (Lion lets out a huge roar and the soldiers all panic and run away in terror) (Whole cast cheers as Cowardly Lion struts around triumphantly) (Wicked Witch screams her dismay) Wicked Witch: Right! That’s it! You’ve asked for it this time!

Awesome Animal World Record Breakers Assembly This script was written for KS II but can be simplified for KSI. A separate script for KSI will shortly be available Cast of 30 Cast size can be easily adjusted up or down by the adding on or taking off the suggested list of animals. Duration Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions As with cast size, this can be altered according to the number of animals and amount of information given on each. This script covers the biggest, the smallest, the fiercest, the fastest, the smartest, the longest-living ..... a truly awesome cast! KS I script shortly available Sample Text: Narrator: (Jumping back in alarm) Wow! I didn’t see you fly in! Komodo Dragon: (Patiently) That’s because I didn’t! I’m a Komodo dragon from South East Asia. And, just for the record, I neither fly nor breathe fire! Narrator: But you look pretty fearsome, for all that! Komodo Dragon: Well, I am the world’s largest lizard and I do have some pretty unpleasant poison and bacteria in my saliva! Narrator: Ugh! Not a nice way to die! I think we’ll have you just sitting nice and quietly back here, where you came from! (Narrator leads dragon back to his place) Music 4 Chariots of Fire (Enter Ostrich, running gracefully in time to the music) (Narrator holds up hand for ostrich to stop) Narrator: Er excuse me! I hate to interrupt your morning exercise Ostrich: Oh, I can go way faster than that! I’m just warming up! Apart from being the world’s biggest bird, I am also the fastest runner – for a bird, that is! Seventy km an hour! Narrator: Wow! That’s fast (pauses) considering your size! Ostrich: I also lay the largest eggs and have the biggest eyes to watch over them! (Enter Goliath bird-eater spider – whole cast shrieks and cowers in fright) Goliath Bird-Eater Spider: Just as well you don’t live anywhere near me! Ostrich: (Haughtily) South America is a long way from my African home (pauses) but seriously? One stamp from me and you’re history!

Robots Assembly When is a human not a human? When is a robot not a robot? Our unsuspecting Narrator is just about to find out the hard way! As are those androids - when having a sense of humour is not enough! Cast size: 30 (easily adjustable up or down) Duration: around 20 minutes (depending on amount of music used) Sample Text 1: Music 1 – I Can Transform Ya – Chris Brown (Children file in, sitting down in two rows of fifteen, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and I am happy to introduce you to my magnificent cast (Narrator gestures to cast to rise) (Whole cast rises to its feet) Whole Cast: (Robotically) Good morning! ... Very pleased to meet you! (Narrator gestures to cast to sit) (Whole cast sits down) Narrator: What a well-behaved lot! (Aside to audience) I can see I’m going to enjoy this particular assembly … (pointing to cast) … on robots, in case you hadn’t guessed. Sure beats my usual task of directing noisy, badly behaved children! Sample Text 2: Group III: (Together) How did you guess? Narrator: Oh, when you’ve been around children as long as I have, you come to know them pretty well. Child 7: But they’re human aren’t they? Narrator: Hmm. Now, there’s a question! Child 8: But, they laugh and cry, don’t they? Child 9: Weren’t we convincing enough? Child 10: We laughed at all the jokes Child 11: We even laughed in all the right places! Child 12: We cried during that soppy song Child 13: Real tears! Child 14: We showed all the emotions you humans go on about! Child 15: So where did we go wrong? Child 1: I think we can answer that. Child 2: No human child, with half a brain, would find those particular jokes funny! Child 3: Truly lame is what they were!

Midsummer Nights Dream Alternative Version III This alternative ‘nightmare’ version of Midsummer Night's Dream runs at approximately 50 minutes, has a cast of 25, and a 'wicked' choice of music! This is the third in a series of scripts written by playwright Sue Russell - the first was for a small summer camp group (of 10), the second for an expanded cast (of 17), and this third for a cast of 25. Suitable for children and adults alike - let's hope your director has an easier time of it than mine (alias long suffering teacher!) Theseus: Are you referring to our night's entertainment, my dear? Hippolyta: If you can call it that! From what I've heard .. Theseus: (Interrupting) Ah, never judge a book by its cover! Teacher: (Raising his copy of Midsummer Night's Dream, above the covers) Indeed. You can say that again! Still, nothing's going to spoil anything tonight. Just as long as I stay awake to the end! (Bottom, bouncing onto the stage) Bottom: And we'll sure make sure that there's no falling asleep during our amazing performance! (Joined by Quince, Flute, Snout, Starveling and Snug) Bottom: Or should I say, my amazing performance! Quince: Now, now, Bottom! Remember what I said to you about team spirit! Bottom: (Tutting) Makes it sound more like a game of soccer! I prefer to think of myself as following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt, rather than David Beckham! Lysander: (Laughing) I'm sure either gentleman would be equally honored - to know who was following him! Demetrius: Of course! (Pointing at Bottom) What a fine figure of a man! Hermia: (Crossing her brow with her hand) I grow weak, just looking at him! Helena: (Pretending to faint) Such a man! Such a vision of .... Theseus: (Impatiently) Yes, yes. Could we leave the amateur dramatics to these 6 players please? Hippolyta: (Groaning) Something tells me, this is going to be one long night!

Battle of Hastings Assembly or Class Play This script was written by Sue Russell in celebration of The Battle of Hastings' 950th anniversary. What have the most famous cartoon strip in history, a masterpiece of needlework, a distinctly odd bishop, some dodgy family connections, warring Anglo Saxons and Normans, and an arrow in the eye have in common? Correct! They're all part of that famous drama - you know the one, 1066 and all that?! Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration around 10 - 15 minutes (not including music) Sample Text: Embroiderer 2: Hours and hours of needle in, needle out! Embroiderer 3: (Sarcastically) Wow! Life can’t, surely, get much more exciting than this! Bishop of Bayeux: O dear, dear, dear, dear! I can see something drastic needs to happen round here! How are we going to get you excited about your work? (Enter Edward) Edward: Easy! Let’s just introduce them to some of the characters they are working on! Let them see what we were actually like in the flesh! Bishop of Bayeux: Ah! A splendid idea! And you are? Edward: King Edward the III of England or Edward the Confessor! I’m (Edward walks along work of six Embroiderers, peering down, trying to see himself; he stops abruptly at Embroiderer 4) Edward: Ah yes! Here I am! Dying! Bishop of Bayeux: (Sarcastically) Oh wonderful! Well, that really livens things up for us! Thank you so much! Edward: Oh dear! I didn’t mean to put a dampener on things! (Edward goes back to the line of Embroiderers and this time stops at Embroiderer 1) Edward: Ah now, that’s better! That’s when I’m still king! Alive and kicking! (Edward falls about laughing at his own joke) (Whole cast groans) Bishop of Bayeux: (Aside) Oh dear! I think I preferred him dead!

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!