Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Ancient Greek Myths The Gorgon's Head Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes not including music What was Poseidon thinking - taking on all these women? He might succeed at putting the youth Perseus in his place but a group of 'wronged women'? Never! This is one of a large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell – guided reading scripts also available. Sample Text: Medusa: Just like I said! Gods! Men! The bane of our lives! Poseidon: (Clutching his forehead, muttering) I think I have a headache coming on. (Pauses)You know something? I suddenly feel just a little outnumbered! Would you ladies mind just giving me a short break? (Exit Athene, Medusa and Danae, shrugging their shoulders) Poseidon: Phew! Peace at last! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against ‘the weaker sex’ (Athene comes storming back) Music 3 War – Edwin Starr – Brief excerpt Athene: What was that you just said? Weaker, eh? I’ll show you weaker! (Athene strides up and down, wielding her sword) Poseidon: (Holding hand up) OK. I apologize. Athene: Goddess of wisdom and war! (To Poseidon) You’d do well to remember that! Poseidon: (Aside) As if I could forget! (To Athene) Now, what was I saying about having a little peace? Athene: Huh! Give me war any day! (Exit Athene) Poseidon: (Clutching head) Women! I knew I should never have agreed to this! (Enter Perseus, giving Poseidon a ‘high five) Perseus: What’s up, bro? Poseidon: (Indignantly) Bro? I’ll give you bro! Perseus: OK so I guess it’s Uncle, really – seeing as Zeus was my dad, and your brother! Poseidon: Correct! So, no more bro, right? Perseus: Fair enough! So, what’s the plan, dude? Poseidon: (Exploding) Dude? That’s even worse than bro! What is it with you youngsters? Can’t you talk normally? Perseus: (Sighing) OK I’ll try! I’m just not used to hanging out with oldies like you! Poseidon: (Exploding) Now look here, young Perseus! If you and me are going to get along, you need to show a little respect! (Enter Danae) Danae: Perseus! Where are those manners I taught you? Poseidon: I think he might have lost them during his travels! Danae: Well, let’s help him find them again! Poseidon is only trying to Poseidon: (Looking at his watch) Get this story told? Well, that’s proving a bit of a challenge! (To Danae) No offence, madam, but you women don’t half talk a lot! (Enter Polydectes, accompanied by ‘several’ women, all chatting and laughing) Polydectes: (Groaning) Tell me about it! You want to try keeping them quiet in court! Once they get going there’s no stopping them!

General Election Assembly - Who should be our next prime minister? 6 weeks to go … and bored with the General Election already? Then this assembly is your perfect tonic! As for our narrator, who would envy their task of choosing a prime minister - from a class of 30?! The choice? Football stars, movie stars, rock stars ..... and a whole lotta girl/boy attitude between the Spice 'lot' and a certain Direction! Somebody needs to tell them about equality - and who better than .... S Club 7?! This is a very light hearted look at the coming election. The ‘possible candidates’ are a selection of celebs – chosen purely for entertainment sake. For a more serious ‘take’, the script could be adapted to include a far more serious list of people either now or in the past e.g. Gandhi, King, Mandela, Mother Theresa etc. Likewise, whilst dealing with the current topic of the election, this script could be used for citizenship because of its PSHE component – this latter could be extended by adding a section on ‘What would you change if you were prime minister?’ Duration: 10 – 15 minutes reading time; around 20 – 30 minutes including music suggestions. Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down; and characters may be replaced by children’s own choices. Sample Text Child 1: I think David Beckham should be prime minister! Child 2: Nah! It’s got to be Lionel Messi! Child 3: No! Wayne Rooney has my vote! Child 4: Rubbish! It’s got to be Cristiano Ronaldo! Narrator: (Blowing whistle) Excuse me! Since when did any of these footballers know anything about politics? They might be pretty good at running up and down a pitch, but running a country? I don’t think so! (Exit Child 1, 2, 3 and 4) Narrator: Next! (Enter ‘athlete’ – Child 5) Child 5: I’m here representing the world of athletics! I’d vote for Jessica Ennis! Narrator: (To audience, sighing) What is it with kids and sport? (To Child 5) Yes, I can see why you might think Ms Ennis would set us all a fine example Child 5: A prime role model! An inspiration to us all! Narrator: Yes, yes. I totally agree! But there is a difference between running along those tracks Child 5: In record times! Narrator: And, …..let me finish…., running the country! (To audience) Am I having a moment of déjà vu or didn’t I just say that a very short while ago? (To Child 5) Anyway. Thank you … but no thank you! (Exit Child 5) Music 3 Theme music from Doctor Who

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Take Two - or The Trial of Alice (An alternative version) Insolent, conceited, insensitive, stupid, cruel, dishonest .... surely not the Alice that Lewis Carroll gave us? Read on to find out how false fiction can be in this alternative take on one of our best loved classics. In this one Alice is facing those animals she met ‘down the rabbit hole’ on her first visit – in court! See how she fares under the pressure of the justice system – Wonderland-Style! PLEASE NOTE: This is not a re-telling of the original story. Cast of 30. Duration: Longer version around 20 - 25 minutes; Shorter version around 15 – 20 minutes. Sample Script: Alice: Now look! There’s been some terrible mistake! I’m here to be queen, not prisoner! (Whole court erupts in laughter) Queen: (Holding her sides) Oh dear! This really is turning out to be the funniest day of my life! King: Totally priceless, my dear! Alice: (Sobbing) No! No! This can’t be happening. White Rabbit will tell you it as it is! (White Rabbit just shrugs his shoulders) Alice: Oh no! This has got to be a bad dream I’ll wake up from in a minute! (Alice pinches herself and then cries even more) (Mouse, Duck and Dodo stand up) Mouse: Oh oh! She’s making one of those lakes again! Duck: That’s how she caught us out last time! Dodo: Playing the innocent! Mouse: And then scaring me to death with stories of that cat! Alice: You mean, Dinah? (Mouse starts screaming; other two get him to sit down) Duck: (To King) You see what I mean? Dodo: Ah! She’s not going to get away with it a second time! (King gestures for both to sit down) Alice: Get away with what? Queen: (To King) Does it matter? Off with her head! Alice: I was wondering when you were going to get round to saying that! King: Oh! The cheek! (To jurors) Please note. Offence Number one – Threatening Behaviour Alice: But I King: Offence Number Two – Interrupting Alice: But that’s not fair! King: Offence Number Three – Whingeing and complaining Alice: Hey, wait a minute King: Offence Number Four – Speaking out of turn (Alice is about to say something else but White Rabbit rushes over and puts his paw over her mouth) Queen: (To White Rabbit) Thank you! She really doesn’t know when to shut up, does she? King: No my dear! Not at all like you! Queen: Not at all! Alice: Huh! That’s a joke! Queen: (Screaming) Off with her head! Off with her head! (King ‘calms her down’ before addressing jurors again, both scribbling away trying to keep up) King: Make that Offence Number Five – Being Insolent and Rude and Juror 1: Please slow down a bit. Juror 2: We’re not used to as many offences as this!

Fashion Assembly including The Emperor’s New Clothes The story of The Emperor’s New Clothes provides the bulk of the text - with a minimum cast of 10; cast numbers are made up to 30 by the addition of numerous fashion models, plus ‘sparring’ fashion designer and narrator! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - reading of text around 15 minutes but this does not include music or performances - both of which can be increased to effectively double the length of the play. Sample Text (1): Music 1 – You’re So Vain – Carly Simon (Whole cast files in, seating themselves in order, along two rows of fifteen, facing the audience, Narrator standing at the side throughout) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Fashion! Music 2 – Fashion – David Bowie (Line of fashion models walk up and down ‘the catwalk’ in front of the audience) Narrator: (Applauding as models return to their places) Very good! Bravo! (To audience) But seriously! Did you see the size of those heels? I mean, how on earth do they manage to walk on such things? Impractical or what? (Enter Fashion Designer) Fashion Designer: (Sniffing his disapproval) Oh! Hasn’t anyone told you? It’s about how you look on that catwalk. Narrator: (Angrily) Even if it cripples you? Fashion Designer: Oh darling! Aren’t we being just a tad overdramatic? Narrator: (Huffily) No, not really! I wouldn’t be able to move in those heels! (Fashion Designer pointedly looks Narrator up and down) Fashion Designer: No, I don’t suppose you would! (Aside to audience) No great loss to the fashion world, right? Sample Text (2) - from The Emperor’s New Clothes Narrator: Once upon a time there lived an emperor who was very fond of his clothes. (Enter Emperor and two courtiers) Emperor: (Twirling on the spot) So, what do you think of my outfit today? Courtier 1: (Gushing) Magnificent! Courtier 2: (Even more gushing) Fantastic! Emperor: (Preening himself) Oh really! Flattery will get you nowhere! Courtier 1: (Aside) Wanna bet? Courtier 2: We wouldn’t get far without it! Emperor: What was that? Commenting on the quality of this wonderful fabric, no doubt? Courtier 1: Oh, of course, majesty! Courtier 2: The finest in the land, to be sure! Emperor: I rather think so! (Aside) Best not say how much it cost! More than I pay these two courtiers in a year! (To Courtier 1) A mirror, please! It must be at least a minute since I looked at myself!

Pinocchio Pantomime A story of redemption and self-discovery – with one small twist – well, maybe not so small when the whole plot hinges on it! NB: This script is the Pinocchio class play adapted as a pantomime i.e. with addition of jokes, a larger than life Fairy as the Dame; and the script adjusted accordingly. Music: there is quite an extensive playlist – 15! The choice of these numbers is totally discretionary. Cast of 24 plus Duration Reading time – around 30 minutes not including music or jokes at the end. 4 scenes of approximately 5 - 10 minutes each – more with addition of jokes at the end. Total performance time: around 40 – 50 minutes plus, depending on how much music is used and how many jokes told. The performance could be reduced substantially with omission of both music and jokes. Sample Text: Narrator: Ah! There you are! At last! The good fairy! We’ve been waiting for you! Fairy: Oh, you mean this script needs something good in it? Well, I couldn’t agree with you more! (To audience) What a load of rubbish, eh? I’ve been sitting out in the wings (Twirling, showing off her wings) Beautiful, aren’t they? About time you all had a treat! This has to rate as one of the worst pantos Narrator: (Interrupting furiously) Hey! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! So where have you been, all this time we have been performing our ‘oh so terrible pantomime’? Fairy: Where have I been, darling? (Twirling) Do you really need to ask? (Pauses) Well, getting ready of course! A fairy must always look her absolute best at all times, especially this time of year! Narrator: (Aside to audience) Strikes me this fairy could spend a little more time down the gym! Fairy: (Exploding) I beg your pardon! I trust you are not suggesting I lose any of (pauses as she tries to find her waist) this exquisite figure? Narrator: Well, it might have helped you get here a bit quicker! Things have just been going from bad to worse, here on stage! Fairy: Oh, you mean the Pinocchio thing? Narrator: Er yes, it is his story we are telling here today! Fairy: Ah well, then. My timing is perfect (pauses as she minces over to the audience) … as ever! Here I am! Narrator: Just in the nick of time! We so need you – or rather, Pinocchio does! Fairy: Yes, I have been watching this rather sad story unravel. That puppet certainly needs all the help he can get! Narrator: But it has to be the right kind of help. He’s been receiving an unfortunate amount of the wrong type. Fairy: What do you mean? Narrator: Well, I’m afraid we have a slight glitch in the plot. You see, one of the good guys has turned bad! Fairy: Oh no! That is bad news! And who might that be?

Ocean Assembly including The Little Mermaid This class play was originally written for Key Stage I but has a lot of additional material – FREE set of 5 Sea Life Quizzes, 350 questions and answers – that could easily be added to raise the level to Key Stage 2. As an outline of The Little Mermaid story is included, this script falls within both the science and literature sections of the curriculum (as well as between two key stages – sorry, a little difficult to place!) If the original story of the Little Mermaid threatens to leave you with tears in your eyes, the jokes of the supporting cast (Cranky Crab, Daft Dolphin, Cod Father just to mention a few) will soon cheer you up … or maybe reduce you to further tears! Sample Text: (All Sea Creatures stand up and speak to The Little Mermaid in turn) Cranky Crab: Why did you turn your back on the ocean? Timid Turtle: How could you leave us? Daft Dolphin: Why go to the land Clown Fish: When you had all that sea to play in? Cod Father: Foolish girl! Angel Fish: You should have kept your tail Jiggly Jellyfish: Fancy giving it up Scary Shark: For what? A human being? Swishing Swordfish: A life on land? Old Octopus: Losing your family Saucy Stingray: Your friends Lazy Lobster: Your everything! Blue Whale: Why? Barmy Barnacle: What were you thinking? Weary Walrus: I don’t understand Perky Penguin: You gave up so much Deep Sea Fish 1 – Angler fish: And for what? Deep Sea Fish 2 – Hatchet fish: Yes, tell us! Deep Sea Fish 3 – Lantern fish: For what?

PSHE Guided Reading Scripts (Readers Theater) and Stories - Key Stage II I. How the Butterfly Lost his Bad Temper II. How the Butterfly Lost her Dissatisfaction III. How the Butterfly Lost his Vanity IV. How the Butterfly Learned to Fly V. How the Butterfly Learned to Fly Higher Based on Life Lessons: 1. Appreciate what you have 2. Stop ‘wanting’/looking for more 3. Recognising that external beauty is not everything 4. Just do it! 5. The importance of striving/realising your potential Each story is followed by the guided reading script, then the discussion/question and answer session. The stories and guided reading scripts are 5 – 10 minutes in length. Total reading time: around an hour The 5 guided reading scripts have 2 speakers each – total of 10 altogether. Sample Text - Guided Reading Script Butterfly: Me too! To think what I used to be like! Thank goodness I met you! Snail: And it was the best day of my life when I met you! Butterfly: And to think how rude I was to you? I still can’t believe you didn’t just walk – sorry, slide – off! Snail: And miss out on the best friendship of my life? Oh, I don’t think so! Butterfly: But you couldn’t have known that at the time? Snail: Well, no. But then some things, indeed most things, take time. And that’s a good thing! Butterfly: Yes, my flitting certainly allowed no time for appreciating what I had – or what I might have, if I only stopped still long enough to see it! Sample Text - Story At which point that bad-tempered butterfly paused, quite suddenly; and didn’t move an inch – something unheard of for him. And then, just as suddenly, that bad-tempered butterfly let out a great cry of joy, followed by these words. ‘Wow! My life is indeed amazing! I can fly! I have sunshine in my wings! I ..’ But at that point the bad-tempered butterfly’s expression changed from total delight to …. Well, something closely akin to sadness. ‘Forgive me. I can’t help but look at you and think – you have, well, nothing’.

Pirates Smugglers and Shipwrecks Guided Reading Scripts plus Quiz This is a special cut-price package including: 3 scripts, with 6 speakers each: • Pirates Ahoy! Script • Smugglers Alert! Script • Shipwrecks! Script Plus • Pirates Quiz Pirates Ahoy! This 'interview' draws out the main historical facts available on these characters. Additional background information is supplied at the end of the play – with a quiz (30 Q & A) to follow. Sample Text 1: Duration around 10 minutes Interviewer: Something tells me we’re not going to get a lot of sense out of Captain Morgan this morning! Mary Read: Oh! Don’t you worry! You wouldn’t believe what us pirates are capable of – even after a large number of rums! Interviewer: Hmm. So I’ve heard! But perhaps we’d better start with this Welshman Black Bart: Who? Me? Interviewer: No. I’ll come to you in a minute. I was going to have a few words with Captain Morgan here – whilst he’s still capable of speech! Blackbeard: (Hissing) You’d better get in there quick, then! And I’d make it a simple question, if I were you! Interviewer: OK. So, why are pirates, pirates? Cpt. Morgan: Because they Arrrrrrrrrrr! Smugglers Alert! Sample Text 2: Duration: around 5 - 10 mins Interviewer: Now, come along, gentlemen! Perhaps we are being a little heavy on Mr. Johnstone! Don’t you agree, Mr. Trenchard? Trenchard: Actually, I’m with them on this one! However much I might have disapproved of the violence I saw going on around me, nothing would have made me turn my old mates in! Interviewer: Well, of course not! Copinger: But that’s what this gentleman did! Rattenbury: Not only did he swap sides as in swapping what country he fought for but he also went from being the hunted to the hunter! Interviewer: You mean, he became a revenue man? Kingsmill: (Spitting) He did indeed! How much lower could he stoop? Shipwrecks - Sample Text 3 Duration: Around 5 minutes (SOSD stands for Salty Old Sea Dogs) S.O.S.D. 1: OK. So what about that Marie Celeste? S.O.S.D. 2: Indeed. What about that Marie Celeste? Nobody knows! S.O.S.D. 3: There may have been survivors – but there was no sign of them when the sailing ship was found drifting in the Atlantic Ocean, 1872. S.O.S.D. 4: Did they abandon ship? Were they attacked? Nobody will ever know what happened. It’s one of those Bermuda Triangle riddles that has no answer.

8 Shakespeare Group Readers or guided reading play scripts, in style of Readers Theater: Macbeth, Hamlet, A Midsummer Nights Dream, Twelfth Night, Henry V, Romeo & Juliet, Anthony & Cleopatra and The Tempest. These are conversation pieces/discussions on what happened and do not have scenes as in plays. Sample Texts from Set of 8 Shakespeare Plays (no quizzes) Play 8: The Tempest Speakers Prospero Miranda Alonso Ferdinand Aries Caliban Caliban: Phew! The lengths some people will go to right past mischief! Miranda: By which you mean helping my dad's brother, Antonio, to steal his dukedom? And then to put us on a boat to nowhere, in the hope that we'll perish? Caliban: Hmm. Now when you put it like that .... Maybe ‘mischief' doesn't quite cover it! Prospero: I'll say! Theft and then attempted murder! Ferdinand: And yet you still found it in your heart to forgive him? How so? Prospero: By looking at you and my daughter! Love is a great healer!

Hansel and Gretel Play cast of 6 alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm but re-written, just as they did! This alternative Hansel and Gretel play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast size and Duration Cast of 6, reading time approximately 10 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Other cast of 6 alternative plays: Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Cinderella - Cinderella also available as assembly/class play cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) long with Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Snow White also available as a pantomime - cast of 30 or 60. Sample Text Narrator: Well, you were planning on eating those two children, weren’t you? Old Lady: Those two children? Certainly not. Not at the same time, anyway! Narrator: Oh we all know about you fattening up young Hansel first. Old Lady: Well, I didn’t hear any complaints from him! (Enter Gretel) Gretel: Not when he was being fed prime joints every night – whilst I had nothing! Old Lady: Now now young lady. You know perfectly well that’s not true. Gretel: Well, you did save all the best stuff for him. Old Lady: Only so that I could fatten him up quicker. And it worked, didn’t it? Gretel: (Giggling) I suppose it did! (Enter Hansel) Hansel: What do you mean, it worked? Old Lady: Well, you were so convinced your wee bone trick would work on me Gretel: Pretending that was your finger! Old Lady: I mean. I know I’m short-sighted! But not that short-sighted! Hansel: So who ended up in the oven? We all know the trick you, Gretel, played. Old Lady: Aha! Maybe it’s you, Hansel, that should’ve gone to Spec Savers! Hansel: What do you mean? It was you Gretel that pushed her into the oven (pauses) wasn’t it? Gretel: What? Push a defenceless old lady into a red hot oven? Are you serious? Hansel: (Spluttering) But but … you saved me!

Cinderella Play - alternative version of the original Brothers Grimm version This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm but re-written, just as they did, by Sue Russell! This alternative Cinderella play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast size and Duration Cast of 6, reading time around 10 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Other cast of 6 alternative plays: Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel - Cinderella also available as assembly/class play cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) long with Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Snow White also available as a pantomime - cast of 30 or 60. Sample Text: Narrator: You may have a point! And maybe now, we can all take a slightly more laid back approach to life! Step Sister 1: Oh you’re talking about that exercise regime! Step Sister 2: Dragging Cinders along to the gym every day! Cinderella: Oh don’t you worry about that. Now I have my prince, I have a bit more of a reason to stay fit! Fairy Godmother: And stay away from those doughnuts Step Sister 1 & 2: (Together) Please! Cinderella: Oh no worries there. I guess that was just a case of comfort eating. I’m way happier now (pauses) and it’s not just because I have found my prince Prince: Oh really? Cinderella: Yeah. No offence but I want to stay fit for me – not for anyone else! I want to feel good – inside and out; and that means regular exercise and not binge-eating on doughnuts! I don’t need to anymore. I can see the bigger picture! Narrator: Wow! That’s amazing! (Pauses) Are you sure you haven’t been put up to this by Weight Watchers? Cinderella: (Laughing) No way! Or should I say, no weigh! Fairy Godmother: (Applauding) So good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour, Cinders! But on a serious note, what you have just said is so important, I think we need to say it again. Right, girls? Step Sisters 1 & 2: Right, Fairy Godmother! Step Sister 1: Staying fit, staying healthy is great. Step Sister 2: But it’s not just about looking great on the outside. Cinderella: No, it’s just as important to feel good on the inside.

Wizard of Oz Guided Reading Scripts (10) - 6 speakers each This ‘play’ was written primarily as a set of guided reading scripts or Readers Theater – to be used by 5 groups of 6 speakers. The 10 scripts can be divided into Scene I & II for Group 1, Scene III & IV for Group 2 etc; or a run of consecutive readings, going round twice e.g. Scene I for Group 1, Scene II for Group 2 etc. Conversely, the 10 scripts could be used by one group at a time i.e. for 10 or however many sessions it takes; or just straight through in around 30 minutes. These scripts could be combined to produce a play for performance, with the addition of directions, music suggestions and extra cast members plus props. Number of Scenes and Duration: There are 10 Scenes. Each of these is around 3 minutes reading time. 30 minutes in total. Cast The same 5 principal roles (Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Woodman and Cowardly Lion) are used in each scene. The additional 6th speaker is different each time with the exception of the last two scenes. In brackets after the cast list e.g. Scene I (‘Others - 3 Munchkins - BLUE – for class play) are the additional cast members that could be added for a performance play. These are not required for the guided reading scripts as they stand. Scene I Arrival in Land of Oz Cast · Dorothy · Toto · Scarecrow · Tin Woodman · Cowardly Lion Plus · Good Witch of the North (‘Others’ - 3 Munchkins - BLUE – for class play) Sample Text: Witch: (Interrupting) Oh, no mistake, my dear! Your house here took her out in one move. Can’t you see her feet sticking out from underneath? Toto: She’s right! Well, who would have thought it Scarecrow: (Sadly) Hmm. Thinking. Not my speciality! No brains to speak of, me! Dorothy: That’s what you think! Tin Woodman: But that’s just the point! He can’t – think, that is! Any more than I can feel! Dorothy: You are mistaken Cowardly Lion: Huh! You’ll be telling me I’m a brave creature, next! Dorothy: You are! Witch: (Impatiently) Well, much as I would like to stand around listening to you lot arguing all day – not! Let’s just say, it’s a blessing that cyclone brought you here all the way from Kansas

Fairy Tale Pantomime This script can either be used for performance purposes - as a pantomime, a Christmas play or an assembly - or as a set of guided reading scripts (Readers Theater) to be used within the classroom. 35 pages of fun – and extremely bad jokes! Cast of 30 (five groups of six) Play I SLEEPING BEAUTY Speaker 1 Narrator Speaker 2 Sleeping Beauty Speaker 3 Prince (girl) Speaker 4 Good Fairy (boy) Speaker 5 Bad Fairy (boy) Speaker 6 Sleeping Beauty’s Mother – the Dame Play II CINDERELLA Speaker 7: Cinderella Speaker 8: Bad Sister 1 Speaker 9: Bad Sister 2 Speaker 10: Fairy Godmother Speaker 11: Prince Speaker 12: Cinderella’s Step-Mum alias ‘Dame’ Play III SNOW WHITE Speaker 13: Mirror Speaker 14: Wicked Queen/Step-Mother Speaker 15: Snow White Speaker 16: Huntsman/Prince Speaker 17: Dwarf 1 Dopey/Dame Speaker 18: Dwarf 2 Jolly Play IV Little Red Riding Hood Speaker 19: Little Red Riding Hood Speaker 20: Little Red Riding Hood’s Mother Speaker 21 Big Bad Wolf Speaker 22: Grannie/Dame Speaker 23: Huntsman Speaker 24: Censor Play V RUMPELSTILTSKIN Narrator: Narrator Speaker 25: Rumpelstiltskin Speaker 26: Daughter Speaker 27: King Speaker 28: Miller Speaker 29: Queen/Dame Duration: Around 30 minutes not including music suggestions (around 5 minutes for each of 5 plays) Sample Text: Music 1 – A medley of Christmas songs (Children file in, seating themselves along 2 rows of 15, facing the audience; in 5 groups of 6) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our pantomime (Whole Cast stands) Whole Cast: (In disbelief) Our what? Narrator: You heard! I have decided that this year Child 1: (Interrupting) No way! Child 2: We’re always happy to come to your drama group, sir, but Child 3: Absolutely no way are we doing panto! Narrator: Oh yes you are! Whole Cast: Oh no we’re not! Narrator: There you are! I knew you wouldn’t take much persuading! Child 4: Er, I think you just misheard. We said Whole Cast: Oh no we’re not!

The Emperor's New Clothes Guided Reading Script This is one of a collection of Hans Christian Andersen stories and includes Teaching Input, Discussion and Suggestions for Further Activities - i.e. ample content for a lesson. It can equally be used as a literary or PSHE resource. It could also be used as a small play, for performance, with a few ‘tweaks’ and the addition of the music suggestions below. Music 1. Fashion - David Bowie 2. You’re so Vain – Carly Simon Cast of 6: • Narrator • Emperor • Weaver 1 & 2 • Royal Adviser • Street Child Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time Sample Text: Narrator: (To Street Child) Apart from you, you all went along with this charade – just so as to save face? Well, really! Royal Adviser: Yes, I know it looks bad Narrator: It most certainly does Emperor: But I wonder what you’d have done, especially as everyone else seemed to be going along with it? Narrator: But couldn’t you see you were being taken for a song and a dance? Weaver 1: It was quite funny! Weaver 2: Especially when the emperor here actually turned up to try on his new clothes Weaver 1: After having given us all that money and gold thread and Emperor: (Interrupting) Yes, yes. Must you rub it in? Haven’t I been humiliated enough? Royal Adviser: (Groaning) Oh, if only I had had the strength to admit to what I could see – as in, nothing! No cloth on the loom, no clothes, just air! Emperor: And what a lot of hot air you were! Coming back telling me how wonderfully the work was progressing. How delighted I was going to be with my new clothes! Royal Adviser: But I didn’t want to appear either unfit for my job or stupid. Narrator: And so, you ended up being both! Street Child: I’ll never understand grown-ups! Other Hans Christian Anderson stories available are: • The Ugly Duckling (with more to come)

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!