The Queen’s 90th Birthday Party Assembly Special half price to celebrate Her Majesty's Big Day! Whilst 'gracing this assembly' with her presence, the 'party lady' seems just a little reluctant to join in the festivities. So what can our narrator and supporting cast do to change this situation? Well, did someone say it was Her Majesty's 90th birthday? Then, let's hear it for those 90 reasons to celebrate! Sample Text Music 1 Rule Britannia or Land of Hope and Glory (Cast files in with Music 1 in background; all take their seats) Music 2 National Anthem – God Save Our Queen (All stand up) Queen: (To Audience) Do be seated! Ah, how wonderful to be surrounded by my loyal subjects on my birthday! 90 years! Not bad, eh? Narrator: Well, some of us haven’t been around quite that long, your Majesty! But we are here today to celebrate your birthday with you! Queen: Oh I wouldn’t worry too much about that! Narrator: Oh? And why’s that? Queen: (Wistfully) Oh I don’t know. Once one has had as many birthdays as one has .. Narrator: You mean, you’re bored of birthdays? Queen: Well, I’m not quite the party creature I used to be! Narrator: Nonsense! And you know what? That’s what we’re here to prove to you today! Queen: Oh really! Well .. (Queen looks uncertain, shaking her head) Narrator: (To Cast) OK. Time to make Her Majesty’s day! Queen: (Sighing) You can try .. Narrator: Well, with ninety reasons to celebrate your birthday I don’t see how we can go wrong! Whole cast: (Exclaiming together) Ninety? Narrator: You heard! Ninety! And if we’re going to fit those ninety into the next (looks at watch) fifteen minutes, we’d better get a move on! Off we go! Queen: Well, you don’t mind if I make myself comfortable on this here throne? (Queen ‘settles herself comfortably’ onto throne) Queen: Ah that’s better. Do start! Narrator: Well, there are quite a few perks to being Queen, I think you’ll agree? (Queen nods) Child 1: For starters, you get to have two birthdays a year! Can’t be bad! That’s your real one on 21st April and another official one in June!

Rio 2016 Olympic Ode Suggestions on how to use This poem is made up of three parts, taken from the three words of the Olympic Motto - Citius, Altius, Fortius: I. Faster II. Higher III. Stronger Each part is made up of six verses (with chorus to start and/or finish) 18 speakers - 1 verse each, with whole class reading the chorus. 21 speakers - 1 verse each (for 18), plus chorus at the beginning of each part 24 speakers - 1 verse each (for 18), plus chorus at the beginning and end of each part 30 speakers - As for 24 speakers but including six extra verses provided at the end of III, made up of three winners and three losers. I. Faster Chorus Faster, higher, stronger, Olympic champions, we. Faster, higher, stronger, That's all we want to be! Runner 1: The training's over We're on the track We're primed for action There's no looking back. Runner 2: On your marks Get set, go! It's now or never We can't be slow. Other scripts available from Sue Russell: ASSEMBLIES 1. Brazil Host Country to 2016 Rio Olympics 2. Olympics PRIDE Assembly (PSHE 'team spirit' script) 3. Olympic Games 2016 Leavers Assembly 4. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly - covering all 28 sports 5. History of the Olympics Assembly 6. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly: history and events - combined script including Olympic Ode 7. Olympics Assembly for Key Stage 1 Rio 2016 8. Paralympics 2016 Assembly GUIDED READING SCRIPTS 1. A Complete History of the Olympic Games Guided Reading Scripts plus quizzes - set of 8 scripts, plus quizzes 2. Olympics PRIDE Guided Reading QUIZ Rio 2016 Olympic Games Quiz - 100 questions and answers!

Chocolate Assembly (Also available in Key Stage I version) Cast of 30 though easily adaptable up or down. Duration around 15 - 20 minutes. This script on Chocolate covers all subjects of the curriculum i.e. it's a class theme. And how can it not be a popular one when there are so many of everyone's favourite indulgence in it - CHOCOLATES! While covering a few of these (make that 32 - and that doesn't cover the box contents!) there is ample coverage of chocolate's 2,000 year old history - way back to the ancient Mayan culture, .. and not forgetting the amazing Mr Cadbury of course! As chocolate is 'the class theme' there are cross curricular links - covering all primary school subjects - this great challenge rewarded by a generous dose of .... you've guessed! Chocolate! I'm guessing of all my assemblies this one will go down best with both cast and audience! Don't miss out! Sample Text: Child 2: (To Head) And I believe you have a box or two, hidden away, for your staff? (Head turns to Music Teacher) Head: Oops! It seems our secret is out! Child 2: No secret! We only had to look at all the weight our teachers were putting on! (Head reluctantly hands box of Roses chocolates to Child 2) Child 2: Thank you! Ah! (Rubbing tummy) That’s better! Head: (Grunting) Don’t tell me! This is the P.S.H.E. part! Child 2: Correct! Whole cast: (Rubbing tummies) Chocolate makes you feel so good! Child 3: And then there are all those lovely colours, flavours and pretty wrappers. Take this box of Cadburys Roses for example. (Each child holds up the sweet they are naming) Child 4: Strawberry Dream! Child 5: Golden Barrel! Child 6: Tangy Orange Crème! Child 7: Brazilian Darkness! (Child 8 walks over and takes a box of Milk Tray from protesting Head; the opened box is then offered to Child 9 - 12 in turn, calling out names as they take them)

World Cup Rugby PRIDE Assembly - written by Sue Russell aka plays-r-ussell Cast of 25 Duration: around 15 - 20 minutes reading time not including ‘suggested’ music This Class Play sets out to demonstrate the importance of P.R.I.D.E. - an acronym for Positive attitude; Respect for yourself and others; the ability to make Intelligent decisions; time to Dream; and not forgetting all the Effort that needs to be put in - in all walks of life. It provides the perfect way of demonstrating what it takes to make it in life - the kind of success story all children can aspire to. Also available as set of 5 guided reading play scripts. (This script was originally inspired by The Celtics basketball team, in Boston - featuring 17 basketball players, 1 coach, 3 fans, 3 dancers plus mascot but I have adapted it for use by Rugby World Cup, Football World Cup and the Olympics - all available as separate scripts .. with modifications according to sport)

Midsummer Nights’ Dream Alternative version I Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 30 - 40 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). Written for cast of 10, 14 or 14 plus. Comprehensive production notes ensure an easy transition from small to large cast. This play does not include the play performed by Bottom, etc (for the Duke of Athens). This is because the script was originally written for 10. Another version, including this 'play within a play' is now available, called Midsummer Nightmare II, with cast of 17; and a third script Midsummer Nightmare III: 50 minutes, with cast of 25. Sample text Music 7 Michael Jackson's Thriller (Enter Oberon and Puck, doing own version of above song) Teacher: Oh no! Not that beastly song again! Oberon: Pardon! We happen to think we could out-dance those guys from Hollywood, inour wood, any day! Puck: Yeah! We don't even need to add makeup! Oberon: But shush! Who goes there? Our Athenian couple - restored to love? (Sounds of shouting) It doesn't sound very harmonious! Music 8 Beat It - Michael Jackson (Enter Demetrius and Hermia, singing and dancing to above) Hermia: So, what didn't you understand about (shouting) BEAT IT! Demetrius: But I love you! Hermia: Get out of my sight! If I ever see you again, I will kill you! (Exit Hermia) (Oberon and Puck standing at side, making observations, unheard by Demetrius) Oberon: Something is very wrong here! Puck! (Grabbing him as he tries to make a quick exit) What have you done? Puck: Well, see, I gave those drops to some Athenian, as you said. But it was someother bloke, not this one! Did I mess up? Oberon: I'll say! Now we have two guys in love with just one girl. Go undo your mistakes. Find Helena! (Exit Puck) (Demetrius falls to the ground and starts snoring) Oberon: Now I shall anoint his eyes and make sure everything is all right this time! (Oberon squeezes drops onto eyelids of Demetrius) (Enter Helena) (Demetrius wakes up and beholds Helena) Demetrius: My love!

This Midsummer Nightmare II (alias Midsummer Night's Dream) is an extended version of the first one - Midsummer Nightmare. It includes the play Pyramus & Thisby and thus has a bigger cast and extended duration. Otherwise, it is exactly the same - sharing the same script up to Scene 6, and the same ending. Midsummer Nightmare is, as the name suggests, just that - for its producer! You'd think that putting on a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night's Dream would be a doddle, right? WRONG! This particular production is the stuff of nightmares - as our hapless teacher is about to find out! Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined the consequences of falling asleep whilst reading one of his favourite Shakespeare plays. Same story - but radically different cast - with a little help from Michael Jackson's Thriller! Estimated length of performance: 50 minutes (depending on dancing/singing time). User Lu Jones has written the following comment regarding "Midsummer Night's Dream alternative: Midsummer Nightmare II": Love this quirky adaptation of one of Shakespeare's classics! The students love it as well! Sample Text Quince: Pyramus! Thisby! Kindly demonstrate for us how you use this worthy Wall! (Bottom and Flute stand on either side of Snout's Wall, and make exaggerated whispering noises through the hole) Theseus: (Appreciatively) Amazing! Hippolyta: (Sarcastically) Awesome! Bottom: You wait til you see us kissing! (Flute falls over backwards) Flute: Er, I don't think that will be necessary! (Bottom pouting, making ridiculous ‘smirching' noises through the Wall) Quince: Bottom! Maybe we should let the audience use just a little of their imaginations?! Bottom: (Sulkily) OK, OK. I guess I shouldn't give them too much too early on! I don't want to overwhelm them! Theseus: Quite so! The ladies can only take so much! Moving on .. (Bottom and Flute back to the Wall) Bottom: Thisby, my love! Flute: (High pitched) Pyramus, my love love! (To Quince, in normal gruff voice) How am I doing? Quince: Don't stop! Remember - feminine! (Flute flounces round to the other side of the Wall, Wall trying to block him) Bottom: Get back! Stay on your side, remember?! (Flute scuttles back to his side) Flute: (Squeaking) Here I am again! (Pauses, trying to remember his words) Er, em. Ill met by moonlight? Quince: Cut! Cut! We've already had that line! Hippolyta: Oh dear! It would seem we are still attending the rehearsal!

Midsummer Night’s Dream Assembly This version of A Midsummer Night's Dream is directed, as a school assembly, by William Shakespeare's own son, Hamnet. Written for cast of 16-30, running time approx. 40 minutes, this play follows the original plot, but has some interesting twists along the way - to say nothing of how the 'play within a play' players are treated: a heroic Pyramus played by a 'large butt' Bottom; the lovely Thisby by a bushy bearded Flute; a wall by red-nosed sniffing Snout; Moonshine by 'starving' Starveling and not forgetting Snug's all important part - that of an asthmatic lion! And as if four confused lovers isn't enough to contend with on stage plus some very non-cooperative fairies - our poor director, Hamnet also has his playwright father to deal with! Also available: an alternative Midsummer Nights Dream - entitled Midsummer Nightmare, with Michael Jackson's Thriller taking us through the 'transitions'! There are three versions of this, with differing cast sizes and performance times. Sample Text Hamnet: Scene II Elsewhere in the wood (Group of very ‘out of tune/tone-deaf' fairies sing their idea of a lullaby to Titania, lying with her hands over her ears) Music 3 - All I Ever Do is Dream by the Everly Brothers Hamnet: Cut! Thank you! Can't you see the poor woman is trying to get to sleep? (Fairies exit, sulkily; Titania gives a sigh of relief and falls asleep) (Enter Oberon, sprinkling herb drops on sleeping Titania's eyelids) Oberon: There we go. Sleep tight, my dear. And wake when some vile thing is near. (Exit Oberon) (Enter Lysander and Hermia; Lysander struggling with a huge suitcase, Hermia limping along behind) Hermia: (Irritably) I told you we should have bought a map! Just look at my feet, all covered in blisters! Lysander: Ah quit complaining! At least you haven't been lugging this great case along behind you. So much for traveling light! Hermia: (Snatching suitcase) Well, let me relieve you of it! (Pulls out teddy bear and flings it at Lysander) There you go! Teddy can be your companion for the night! See you in the morning! (Hermia stalks off, with suitcase, to opposite side of stage. Proceeds to take out sleeping bag, pillow, and rugs - all of which make for a comfortable night's sleep; leaving Lysander to ‘cuddle up' with just the teddy. Both drift off to sleep)

Sleeping Beauty Assembly This 'alternative' version has a cast size: 12 upwards. This is the number of main speaking parts; but with the addition of ‘courtiers’ the cast size can easily be increased upwards. Duration: Around 20 minutes. This is a truly alternative version of Sleeping Beauty – with a ‘Wicked’ Fairy who hates anything ‘nice’; a king and queen ‘at loggerheads’, a princess destined not to win a prince (of any description), and as usual, a despairing narrator – given the impossible task off pulling of yet another ill-fated assembly! It can be used for PSHE - as it strongly reinforces the importance of saying Thank You; or it can be used in Literature (as an example of an alternative text) or as a play to put on at Christmas. Sample Text: King: One hundred years? Seems a little O.T.T.! Queen: One hundred years? But that means I’ll be dead when she wakes up! Sleep Fairy: Oh, you don’t need to worry about that! You will all fall asleep together. And wake up together! King: (Spluttering) But! But! What about Man. United? Are they going to be asleep too? Sleep Fairy: Er, no.. Queen: And what about Eastenders? How can I possibly catch up on one hundred years’ worth of episodes? Narrator: (Sarcastically) Oh dear! And what if World War Three breaks out? Oh, but I guess that pales into insignificance alongside football teams and soaps! Beautiful Fairy: Oh, you can always come to me for those. (Delving into cosmetics bag) Now, let me see. I have lavender scented, or un-perfumed if you prefer … Narrator: (Exploding) No, I don’t prefer! Here we are, discussing the future of the world – and all you can think about is …… cosmetics? Sleep Fairy: (Clutching head) For some strange reason, that headache of mine doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Perhaps it’s a little peace and quiet that I need! You (turning to King and Queen) should be happy that you’ve got off so light! You’re not going to die, are you? I‘m going to leave now – before I change my mind! (Exit Sleep Fairy) Narrator: Well, really! These fairies are just so – touchy! King: That’s women, for you! ‘Course it’s left to us men to do what’s practical. Like banning all spinning wheels in the kingdom! Queen: (Hugging King) Oh, dearie! How very clever of you! Clever Fairy: I was just about to make that suggestion myself! Good Fairy: Well, it was good of you to let him have his moment of glory. (Aside) I strongly suspect he won’t have many more!

Great Mysteries of the World Assembly In the hands of the great Sherlock Holmes, how can there be so many great mysteries of the world still unsolved? Read on! Cast of 30. Reading time around 10 minutes. Mysteries (7): • King Arthur • Building of Ancient Egyptian Pyramids • Stonehenge • Lost Minoan Civilization • Eldorado • Loch Ness Monster • Bermuda Triangle Sample Text: (Silence ensues as Narrator, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson await next ‘mystery’) Narrator: (Impatiently) Next! (More silence) (Narrator looks through his notes in agitation) Narrator: Now, let’s see. That Minoan Civilization! Where have they got to? Sherlock: Er, I think that’s just the point! You see, they disappeared around 1450 BC. Narrator: What do you mean, disappeared? Sherlock: (Mimicking waving a wand) Vamoosh! Gone! Narrator: OK so can we lose the crazy wizard act? Or did Arthur leave his Merlin behind? (Enter Arthur Evans) Arthur Evans: Well, luckily for us, much of the great palace at Knossos remained so we can at least find out lots about how the Minoans lived. Narrator: And you are? Arthur Evans: Archaeologist, Arthur Evans! Sherlock: Ah, an earthy detective! Arthur Evans: Yes, you could say that! Not afraid to get my hands dirty! Watson: All that scrabbling around in the ground – not quite my cup of tea! Arthur Evans: Ah but the rewards are great! To unearth all 1,500 rooms of that Minoan palace – to say nothing of the fact that Crete is a delightful Greek island on which to vacation! Sherlock: Hmm. I guess it beats the dirt and grime of our Victorian back streets! Arthur Evans: Indeed. And such a lovely climate. You know Narrator: (Interrupting impatiently) Gentlemen! Gentlemen! We are not here to discuss possible holiday destinations! What I want to know is, what happened to the people who built and lived in this great palace that you speak of?

Harvest Festival Whole Class Assembly This class assembly, written for cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) is a kind of alternative Harvest Festival, the suggestion being the class are the crop with teachers as harvesters. Duration around 10 - 20 minutes depending on how much music is used. Starting with hymn 'We plough the fields and scatter' and ending with beautiful Michael Jackson song - 'We are the world, we are the children' which sums up the message behind this assembly. Also available - another Harvest Festival script written for just 6 speakers (feathery fowl!) but with suggestions in productions notes as to how to convert this into whole class assembly. Sample Text Child 1: It’s easy because all you have to do is give or share whatever gift you have! Narrator: Wait a minute! You’re losing me! (Repeating) ‘Whatever gift you have’? Child 2: Right! We all have our own special gift to give! Child 3: Bit like a seed in all of us. Child 4: Sometimes that seed germinates by itself Music 2 (Enter Child 5, singing, as ‘rock star’ – choice of ‘rock star’ track down to children) Narrator: (Applauding) Wow! That’s some voice you’ve got! Child 5: Well, thank you. But it wouldn’t mean anything to me unless I could share it with my fans! (Exit Child 5) (Enter Child 6, writing) (Narrator walks over to Child 6, who gives notebook to him/her to read) Narrator: Wow! How did you come up with all these ideas? What a story! Child 6: Thank you. And it’s the fact I can share it with all my hundreds of thousands of readers that makes it so special to me. (Exit Child 6) Child 7: But we’re not of course suggesting we can all be rock stars or famous authors! Child 8: Some of us, despite huge talent, may reach a much smaller audience. Child 9: Fame isn’t everything and it is only the tiny minority that achieve it. Child 10: Which isn’t to say we shouldn’t all strive to make the very most of whatever gift we possess. Narrator: Ah! I see! (Pauses) By ‘gift’ you mean ‘talent’? Child 11: That’s right! And we all have our very own special talent – even if it doesn’t bring us fame and riches! Child 12: (Grunting and pulling a face) Hmm. That’s a shame!

Seaside Assembly Key Stage I - based on Unit 4 Geography: Going to the Seaside and *Unit 3 History: What were seaside holidays like in the past? Cast of 30: Teacher, Class plus 'helpers' - in case of Grandpa Brown, not entirely clear who is helping who! Duration: Around 15 - 20 minutes including music suggestions. This assembly takes us from the classroom, onto the coach, to the seaside - and back again! Granny and Grandpa Brown provide us with some insights into 'trips to the seaside in their time'. And there is the usual smattering of great songs ... and extremely bad jokes! If you're planning a trip to the seaside, jump on board this one for some useful tips! Sample Text: Child 17 (boy): Sharks! (Some of the girls start screaming) Teacher: Stop! Enough, boys! (To girls) They’re just teasing! Nothing for you to worry about! And you won’t be going anywhere near the sea anyway. Why is that? Child 18: Coz it’s too cold, this time of year, Sir? Child 19: Coz you forgot your swimming trunks, Sir? Teacher: (Impatiently) No, no. Nothing like that! Think ‘safety’, children! Child 20: There could be nasty strong currents, sir! Grandpa Brown: Currants? Mmm! And raisins? Oh, yes please. I am feeling a little peckish! Teacher: (Clutching head in exasperation) No, currents as in moving water! (To Child 20) You’re right! We have to be careful not to go in the water Child 21: Because of sharks? (Girls start screaming again) Teacher: No, no, no! No sharks! We’ll be staying on the beach

Dinosaurs Rock Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered which dinosaur was the *biggest, the smallest, the most heavily armoured, the brightest, the fastest, the deadliest, the weirdest ..... Read on and find out! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes not including music Also available, set of guided reading dinosaur scripts Sample Text Music 2 - We Will Rock You - Queen (Enter Seismosaurus, Mamenchisaurus, Giganotosaurus, Spinosaurus, and Carcharodontosaurus) (Everyone shaking in seats) Narrator: What's happening? Is it an earthquake? Seismosaurus: Sorry! That would be me! I'll try not to move - all 120 feet of me! They don't call me ‘earth-shaking lizard' for nothing! Mamenchisaurus: But when you've got necks as long as us, you really don't need to move that far! My neck alone was 46 feet long! Gigantosaurus: And I, Gigantosaurus, was the daddy of the meat-eaters! All 8,000 kilograms of me! Carcharondontaurus: And I sure had a mean pair of ‘choppers' - no prizes for guessing where my name ‘shark-tooth lizard' came from! Spinosaurus: Well, take a look at my jaws! I, Spinosaurus, was called spiny lizard because of these spines on my back, but nobody was going to argue with these (snapping crocodile-like jaws, open and shut) For optional poetry addition see The Dinosaurs That Time Forgot by David Harmer and Paul Cookson. Writer, Sue Russell, has included information from recent discovery of 'the largest' as per Telegraph article "Giant of giants rises from the desert" May 18 2014

Space Assembly for Key Stage I Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - 15 - 20 minutes Fun 'romp' through Space - with astronauts and, most importantly, rocket men - who would have thought an astronaut could forget his own rocket?! All 8 planets covered - before Narrator returns to Earth! Also available off this website: Key Stage II version of this script: The Planets. This has a lot more information - plus alien struggling to find his home planet! Sample Text (Key Stage I Space Assembly): Astronaut 1: (To Narrator) Hello! Are you all right? Narrator: Oh (taking a seat) I think I just need a little break. (Sighing) All these space facts! Astronaut 1: No worries! I’m the expert on space! Music 5 Rocket Man – Elton John (Enter Rocket Man 1 carrying rocket) Rocket Man 1: (To Astronaut 1) Did you forget something? Astronaut 1: Ah thank you! Won’t get far without my rocket, here! Rocket Man 1: Where are you going? Astronaut 1: To Mercury! (Astronaut fastens helmet, taking seat in/in front of rocket) Rocket Man 1: (Chanting) 5 4 3 2 1 Blast off! (Exit Rocket Man 1 and Astronaut I, plus rocket, waving) Music 6 Mercury – The Planets (Holst)

Stone Age to Iron Age Class Play Cast of 30 – easily adjustable up or down Duration: 15 to 20 minutes not including music suggestions This is one of two scripts written by Sue Russell and was written for upper Key Stage II (9 – 11 year olds). The second, Changes in Britain from the Stone Age to the Iron Age - also available off this website - was written as a simplified version of this one, for lower Key Stage II i.e. 7 – 9 year olds. This script has a truly wide-ranging cast that includes a hunter gatherer, a farmer, some guys with ropes from Stonehenge, a 'Rolling Stone', a caveman, ape, cast of Ice Age, a Celt, Iron Man ... and a Narrator and Archaeologist that just can't seem to get on! Starting 9 million years ago and running through all three 'ages': Stone, Bronze and Iron (yes, the play does take 'ages'!) this is an informative but, as usual, fun romp through history - with one long-suffering narrator! I chose to try to explain a little about evolution and how Stone Age Man 'came about' so as to put the aforementioned Ages into context. There is a phenomenal amount of information to cover in this 'Unit' but I hope I have covered the most important changes in this class play. The guided reading scripts, which can be read in the classroom, to accompany this class play, will I hope offer a more comprehensive coverage of the subject, with the usual quizzes to assess knowledge gained. Sample Text: Whole Cast: (Together) The Stone Age! Narrator: Ah! There we are! Now, that’s progress for you! (Enter Hunter Gatherer) (Narrator looks him up and down) Narrator: Hmm. Well, maybe not that much progress! (Exit Hunter Gatherer, shrugging his shoulders) Child 9: (To Narrator, angrily) Patience! Evolution takes time! It doesn’t just happen overnight, you know! Narrator: (Looking at his watch) I’m beginning to realise that. Now, where are we on that timeline? Child 8: (To Narrator, impatiently) Around 2 and a half million years ago! Weren’t you listening? When man starting using stone tools! That’s why it’s called Whole cast: (Together) The Stone Age! Narrator: OK! We got that! But how do we know that’s when stone tools were used? (Enter Archaeologist) Archaeologist: (To Narrator) You asking more questions again? Narrator: Well, Archaeologist: (Interrupting) That’s OK! That’s why I’m hired to do my job! To give people like you evidence!

Risk and Danger Assembly Perhaps first thing I should point out is that this assembly poses absolutely zero risk to the general public! And I include audience and cast in that statement! Cast of 30, duration around 10 - 15 minutes not including music suggestions: 1. Dangerous – Michael Jackson 2. Take a Chance – Abba 3. Superstition – Stevie Wonder 4. I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor 5. Oops I did it Again – Britney Spears This script maintains an element of fun throughout what is quite a serious theme. The Narrator certainly thinks so, armed with Health & Safety Directive! But it also looks at the lives of some of our greatest heroes - and how they had to forsake 'risk assessment' (did they have that in Horatio Nelson's day?!) in favour of sheer valour. Some great quotes - thank you Sir Winston Churchill and Sir Woody Allen, among others. Oh and of course the great Julius Caesar for providing some much needed action! Following is feedback from customer who requested I write this script: ‘Love, love, love it thank you so much! I highly recommend Sue's Plays class assemblies. They are clever, witty and the children have so much fun performing them! Sue wrote a fabulous class assembly to meet my specific title and got it to me within one day. I was overwhelmed with Sue's quick response and attention to detail. Thank you, Phil.’ Feedback like this keeps me writing - HUGE thank you to Phil! Sample Text: Narrator: And you all have statues of yourselves in London, am I right? (All nod) Richard the Lionheart: But we didn’t all die comfortably in our beds! Narrator: (Sighing) I just knew I could hear a but coming! Horatio Nelson: But don’t you see? (Passes telescope from ‘bad’ eye to good) Ah that’s better! What was I saying? Sir Thomas More: I think you were trying to say, none of us could have achieved what we did in our lifetimes, without taking some risks. Narrator: (Aghast) Risks? You mean, you took more than one? Mary Queen of Scots: (Impatiently) Of course we did! You can’t go through life all wrapped up in cotton wool Boadicea: Even if it means you do come to a somewhat sticky end! Narrator: Ooh! Not on this stage, please! (Julius Caesar stumbles onto the stage, with ‘dagger in his chest’) Julius Caesar: Et tu, Brute! (Julius Caesar collapses in a heap) (Tumultuous applause from the whole cast) Narrator: (Tutting) So much for 'Famous last words'! (Exit everyone except Narrator, moping his brow) Narrator: Oh dear! And after all that risk assessment I did earlier today – and I still manage to get carnage on the

Little Red Riding Hood Play cast of 6 – an alternative version of the Brothers Grimm version of the Fairy Tale This is one of a set of 'alternative' fairy tales based on those written by Brothers Grimm - but re-written, just as they did! These include Rumpelstiltskin, Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel and Cinderella - all very alternative! This alternative Little Red Riding Hood play can be used for performance or as a guided reading text. Cast of 6, reading time approximately 10 - 15 minutes Purchase includes: Synopsis of original fairy tale, play script, teaching input, discussion and suggested follow up activities. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty scripts are also available as assemblies, cast size 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Sample Text Little Red Riding Hood: But Grandma, what big ears you’ve got! Narrator: All the better to hear you with! (Aside) Oh! This is even better than I thought! I’m an absolute natural. I can hear that phone ringing now ‘Would you be available to star in the West End next week? We’ve heard such glowing reports about ..’ Little Red Riding Hood: Hey! Wait a minute! Narrator: No! No! What about the teeth? Little Red Riding Hood: Oh! OK. Now you come to mention it, they do need a bit of a clean! Narrator: No! No! Stick to the script! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh you mean, ‘But Grandma, what big teeth you’ve got’? Narrator: (Growling) All the better to eat you with! Little Red Riding Hood: (Nonchalantly) Yeah, right! Narrator: Hey! You’re meant to scream and run away! Little Red Riding Hood: Oh really? Narrator: Can’t you see, I’m not your grandma but a wicked wolf, come to eat you? Little Red Riding Hood: Well, the wolf in the woods seemed harmless enough; and (Little Red Riding Hood removes Narrator’s mask) I’ve been to enough bad school plays to realise you’re not the real thing! (Enter Wolf, growling savagely) Wolf: Whereas I am! (Little Red Riding Hood screams) (Enter Grandmother) Grandmother: Oh really, Little Red Riding Hood! Do you have to make all this noise? Little Red Riding Hood: But there’s a wolf in here! Can’t you see? And anyway, aren’t you meant to be unwell? Grandmother: Oh that’s just your mother, making a fuss as usual. Nothing wrong with me! Wolf: Well, that’s where I’m afraid we disagree! Grandmother: (Indignantly) Pardon? Narrator: Yes, I’m with the wolf on this one!

Fairy Tales Assembly for Key Stage I (Numerous alternative fairy tale plays available for Key Stage II) This assembly or class play is based upon the following fairy tales: · Sleeping Beauty · Cinderella · Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs · The Three Little Pigs · Goldilocks and the Three Bears Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration Around 10 minutes reading time (without inclusion of music suggestions) Quite an eye-opener this one - for our narrator, at least! It would seem you really can’t judge a book by its cover - well, certainly not when you're dealing with these fairy tale characters! Sample Text: Music 6 Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf (Wolf suddenly jumps out from hiding, bringing cheerful singing to an abrupt halt) Wolf: (Grinning) Ha! Not so full of yourselves now, huh? Little Pig 1: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You don’t frighten me! Little Pig 2: (Hiding behind Little Pig 3) You can’t bully us! Wolf: (Laughing) Oh really? (Wolf lets out a huge growl and all three little pigs ‘run for their lives’) Wolf: (Laughing) Whose afraid now? Narrator: Now, that really wasn’t very nice of you! Wolf: (Repeating, incredulously) Nice of me? Whoever heard of a nice Big Bad Wolf? Narrator: But you’re not really big and bad, are you? Wolf: Of course not! But (pointing to the audience) I have to keep this lot happy, don’t I? Narrator: You mean, being big and bad is what is expected of you? Wolf: Of course! It’s all an act! Narrator: (Clapping) Well, you’re very convincing! And (looking at audience) I for one am mighty relieved he’s not as bad as you all think he is! (Wolf shakes hands with narrator, growls savagely at audience, and exits) Narrator: Ah! I do so love happy endings! Me still being alive, that is!

Robin Hood Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 15 minutes reading time. This does not include *music suggestions/dance routines which could potentially double the length of the performance. So, are those Merry Men about to have their smiles turned upside down? Never! Not even in the face of those brutish Guards? Double never! Not when you've got some neat tricks/moves up the sleeves of your tunic! See how good triumphs over evil without any blood being shed - it is a family show! *Sample Playlist • Bad – Michael Jackson • I Need a Hero – Bonnie Tyler • Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas • Happy – Pharrell Williams Sample Text Narrator: Hey! You might think you’re a hero! Peasant 1: But you haven’t done anything yet! Narrator: Right! All that dancing and prancing! Peasant 2: You need to demonstrate to us that you’re a hero! Narrator: No more theatrics! Peasant 3: Prove yourself! Narrator: Stop all this lovey dovey stuff – that can wait til later! Peasant 4: It’s our futures you need to change! Peasant 5: Show us you’re the man you say you are! Peasant 6: Take on those baddies! Peasant 7: Be our hero! Robin Hood: Hey! Steady on! I may be pretty good with this bow and arrow Maid Marion: (Sighing) The best, or so I’ve heard! Robin Hood: But taking on the whole of Prince John’s crowd? Whoa! That’s a tall order! (Enter Little John, squaring up to his great height) Little John: Well, I, Little John, am more than up to the challenge! (Enter rest of Merry Men) Friar Tuck: And you can count me, Friar Tuck, in! Alan-a-Dale: And me, Alan-a-Dale! Will Scarlet: And me, Will Scarlet! Much the Miller’s Son: And me, Much the Miller’s Son! Narrator: (Clutching head) Oh wow! That’s some fighting force you have there, Robin! An overweight man of the church, a minstrel, an ex-soldier and a miller’s son! Peasant 1: (Sarcastically) Wonderful! Peasant 2: More than enough to take on Prince John’s men! Peasant 3: They won’t know what’s hit them! Peasant 4: The friar’s belly Peasant 5: The minstrel’s lute Peasant 6: The ex-soldier’s rusting sword Peasant 7: Or the miller’s son’s bag of flour! Peasant 1: Some army! Come on, folks. Let’s leave this lot to their fantasies! (Exit Peasants, muttering sadly) (Enter Prince John, Sheriff of Nottingham and Sir Guy of Gisborne plus Guards) Sir Guy of Gisborne: (To Robin Hood) Aha! The villain himself! Seize him, guards! (Guards seize Robin Hood) Maid Marion: Why you cowards! Seven against one! I’d hardly say that was fair! Sheriff of Nottingham: (Laughing) But hadn’t you heard, sweet lady? Nothing is fair around here!

Royal Wedding Assembly Harry and Meghan Duration: around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions) A cast of 30. The content of this production focuses on Harry's ancestors and leaves one wondering if Meghan has been fully 'prepped' on the royal family - with all its highs (Alfred the Great?) and lows (toss-up between King John and Richard III maybe!). Maybe it’s just as well she isn't fully acquainted with her predecessors - or she might think twice about that walk down the aisle! Script comes with a complete listing of the English Monarchy Duration: around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on The Royal Wedding. Now, we all know what a busy time this is for the royal couple – especially for Meghan. With all that looking for the right dress, booking the hairdresser, finding the best flower lady …. My, has she got her work cut out! So, we thought - there’s no way this royal bride will find time to read up about the family she is marrying into. That’s why we took it on ourselves to do the hard work for her! Don’t you think she’ll be pleased? I mean, who knows what Harry might not have said about his ancestors? And don’t we all agree, a girl does have the right to know - certainly before she takes that long walk down the aisle? So, for those of you, along with Meghan, interested in the royal family, start listening now! You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn! This morning we’ll kick off with the present day royal family - the House of Windsor. Starting with Child 1: (Holding up picture of Harry) Harry! Narrator: Ah! The bridegroom himself! Let’s hear it! Child 2: Harry is the second son of (holds up picture) Charles, the Prince of Wales – now married to Camilla. Child 3: (Holding up picture) Harry’s mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, was tragically killed in a road accident in 1997. Child 4: (Holding up picture) Harry has an older brother, William. It was only a few years ago that Harry was best man at William’s wedding. William married Catherine Middleton 29th April 2011 at Westminster Abbey; whereas Harry and Meghan will be ‘tying the knot’ at St. George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle in May 2018. Child 5: Harry and William have a rather important grandma – the Queen! Child 6: Queen Elizabeth the second is married to the Duke of Edinburgh and has four children Child 7: Prince Charles, Harry’s dad Child 8: Prince Andrew, the Duke of York Child 9: Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex Child 10: And a daughter, Princess Anne, the Princess Royal. Narrator: All fine representatives of the monarchy – but was it always thus? We looked at some examples of good and bad monarchs and drew our own conclusions! Starting with Child 11: Alfred the Great!

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Play This re-telling of the original story stays true to the plot - with just a small twist at the end. Oh, and anyone wishing to play the original 'delightfully wholesome' Dorothy may be in for a bit of a shock! There is also a Christmas version of this class play or assembly - with, as you would expect, a few Xmas additions! This is available as a separate purchase. Cast of 30 (with some doubling up) Duration: Around 30 minutes not including the music suggestions. Also available: · The Wizard of Oz Guided Reading Scripts (10 of these, with 6 speakers each; around 3 minutes each – total reading time around 30 minutes Sample Text: Wicked Witch: Now. Where have that little gang of misfits got to? I don’t suppose anyone would miss them! Narrator: Whatever do you mean, ma’am? ‘Miss them’? Wicked Witch: Oh, haven’t you heard? I’m about to wipe them off the face of Oz! Good riddance I say! Narrator: (Gasping) You what? But you can’t! Wicked Witch: Oh really? Just watch me! (Enter Dorothy, Toto, Scarecrow, Tin Woodman and Cowardly Lion) Wicked Witch: Ah here they all are! Right on cue! Like lambs to the slaughter! (Sound of wolves howling) Wicked Witch: Bring on the wolves! (Enter wolves – who are then all ‘knocked out’ by Tin Woodman) (Whole cast cheers, as Tin Woodman waves his axe triumphantly) (Exit wolves, rubbing their heads) Wicked Witch: (To Tin Woodman) Hey! That’s no way to treat my pets! I’ll report you to the RSPCA! (Sound of Crows ‘cawing’) Wicked Witch: Bring on the crows! (Enter crows. Scarecrow pulls a silly face and they all retreat in terror) (Whole cast cheers, as Scarecrow struts up and down triumphantly) Wicked Witch: Hey! What happened to my crows? Narrator: (Pointing to Scarecrow) Well, he is a scarecrow, remember? (Wicked Witch stamps her foot in disgust) (Sound of bees buzzing) Wicked Witch: Bring on the black bees! (Enter bees. Each ‘stings’ Tin Woodman then ‘drops down dead’) (Whole cast cheers as Tin Woodman struts around victoriously) Wicked Witch: (Shrieking) Now what? What has happened to my black bees? Narrator: Er, I think you’ll find they just all died. Isn’t that what bees do, once they have stung? Wicked Witch: (Shaking fist) Drat! And double drat! Why didn’t I think of that? (Sound of marching feet) Wicked Witch: Bring on my Winkie Soldiers! (Enter Winkie Soldiers, marching purposefully towards ‘the group’) (Lion lets out a huge roar and the soldiers all panic and run away in terror) (Whole cast cheers as Cowardly Lion struts around triumphantly) (Wicked Witch screams her dismay) Wicked Witch: Right! That’s it! You’ve asked for it this time!