I have just started adding my plays to TES (over 400)!but this will take time! All my assemblies/class plays and guided reading scripts are on www.plays-r-ussell.com and I am happy to write on request. I have converted the entire History Key Stage II curriculum into play format - and much of the other subjects such as Science, Geography, PSHE etc. I cover events such as the Olympics and have received great feedback from teachers around the world! Writing is my passion - hope you enjoy my work!
I have just started adding my plays to TES (over 400)!but this will take time! All my assemblies/class plays and guided reading scripts are on www.plays-r-ussell.com and I am happy to write on request. I have converted the entire History Key Stage II curriculum into play format - and much of the other subjects such as Science, Geography, PSHE etc. I cover events such as the Olympics and have received great feedback from teachers around the world! Writing is my passion - hope you enjoy my work!
Easter Egg Hunt Assembly – Key Stage II
Cast Size - 10 or 30 (short and long version within one script - as explained in production notes) or any number in between. The main characters? Clumsy Chicken, Tactless Turkey, Grumpy Goose, Daft Duck, Feisty Pheasant, Greedy Guinea Fowl, Sad Swan, Envious Emu, 'Onourable Ostrich ... and an Easter Bunny called Funny Bunny! A star cast! And with over 20 jokes (not all of them fowl!) - join the crew and find out if Clumsy Chicken can be saved from her fate - as roast chicken!
Duration: 10 - 20 minutes. (10 minutes reading time; addition of songs/music takes performance to around 20 minutes)
Also available to buy separately: Key Stage I version of this script - Clumsy Chicken is joined by 29 feathery friends! The perfect excuse for a mask-making extravaganza!
These two scripts could be combined to add length to either i.e. jokes from the Easter Egg Hunt (KS II) could be added to the Key Stage I script; and additional characters from the Key Stage I script added to the Key Stage II script.
Sample Text
Child 13: How do you make a rabbit stew? (Pauses) Make it wait for three hours!
Funny Bunny: (Holding up hands) OK! Enough!
Child 14: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
Funny Bunny: (Angrily, and having a quick itch) OK! What didn't you understand about enough?
Clumsy Chicken: (Jumping up and down, hysterically, on the spot) And I'm running out of time! Don't you see? If I can't give a basketful of eggs to the farmer, I'm .... I'm...
Tactless Turkey: Roasted? I think that's the word you're looking for!
(Clumsy Chicken clucks all the louder)
Funny Bunny: Now! Now! Don't panic! Don't panic! I'm sure help is at hand
(Enter Envious Emu and ‘Onourable Ostrich)
Envious Emu: (Strutting angrily up and down) Do you know? That peacock bird has been getting right up my beak! All that (demonstrates) flouncing around with her peacocky feathers! It's enough to make you ill!
‘Onourable Ostrich: Now, now! You really should try to be less envious of others! Anyone would think your name was
Funny Bunny: Envious Emu?
Envious Emu: How did you guess? A bunny with brains! Fancy that!
Grumpy Goose: Unlike this bird - with very little brain! Maybe it never made it to the top of that neck!
Guy Fawkes Assembly or Class Play
The inclusion of a *mini play entitled The Trial of Guy Fawkes presents a ‘new take’ on history’s verdict – an interesting twist when the only witness is found guilty by the only member of the jury! i.e. Guy Fawkes walks free! This mini play has a cast of 6 and its inclusion is optional – the rest of the assembly focuses on the facts! Another ‘addition’ is at the end of the script where I have included a Fact File – which I thought would be useful (a) to add more facts to the assembly if necessary (perhaps if the mini play is not included) (b) as an introduction to the subject (c) as the basis for a quiz, to test the children’s knowledge. Hopefully, a pretty comprehensive package!
*Guy Fawkes on Trial This is a short play with cast of 6. It could be used in the classroom or put on as a performance in front of the school, or used by a drama club.
Sample text From Guy Fawkes Assembly:
Duration: around 10 minutes
Characters (Cast of 30)
Narrator
Children 1 -10
Guy Fawkes plus 13 Conspirators
Cast for ‘play’ Judge
(Guy Fawkes)
Policeman (Witness) – see Production Notes
Defense
Prosecutor
Member of the Jury
Music: Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks
(Children file in to this music)
Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our Guy Fawkes Assembly.
Child 1: The music you have just been listening to is Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks. First performed in 1749 for George II
Child 2: But more recently played, in 2002, in celebration of our present queen’s Golden Jubilee
(Child 3 nudges Child 2)
Child 2: Oh! That’s Queen Elizabeth II, of course! At Buckingham Palace – plus fireworks!
Child 3: The earliest fireworks were made in China, around 2,000 years ago – otherwise known as Chinese crackers!
Child 4: The first ones to be used in England were at the wedding of King Henry VII in 1486.
Child 5: Fireworks became more and more popular
Child 6: And King James II was so impressed by those used at his own coronation in 1685 that he had the guy in charge knighted!
Child 7: Did you say ‘guy’?
Child 6: I may have done. Why?
Child 7: Not the Guy?
Child 6: What are you on about?
Child 7: (Shaking his head in disbelief) Only the most famous Guy in our entire history!
(Guy Fawkes steps forward)
Guy Fawkes: (To Child 7) Thank you! That would be me! Guy Fawkes!
(Whole cast applauds and cheers)
Narrator: (Disapprovingly) Only the most infamous Guy in our entire history!
Guy Fawkes: (Looking hurt) Ooh! That’s a bit harsh!
Halloween Assembly
Class Play: The Vanishing Pumpkin
Customer feedback received 12.10.14 AMAZING! Exactly what I needed. Well written, funny and great suggestions for music. I’m using this with a class of 31 and the suggestions for adaptations were spot on. The class love it and are super excited for our assembly on the 30th of October. Thank you
Cast: 30 (See Production Notes for smaller cast size)
Duration: 10 to 15 minutes. The play can be extended by the addition of jokes
Music 1 Disney Haunted House
Judge 1: Welcome!
Judge 2: We are gathered here to behold the year’s spookiest show!
Judge 3: Our very own …..
Whole cast: (Shouting together) Halloween Talent Competition!
(Everyone cheers)
Judge 1: Each year we have a different set of contestants – but all sharing one thing in common! They’re all
All Contestants: (Yelling) Gruesome!
Judge 2: That’s right! No prizes here for beauty – on the contrary…
Judge 3: The more gruesome, the better!
Judge 1: (Looking up and down the line of contestants) And I have to say, this year you have truly surpassed yourselves!
Judge 2: (Nodding) Absolutely!
Judge 3: What a grotesque lot!
(Everyone cheers)
Judge 1: But are you truly scary?
Judge 2: That is what will win you this coveted prize!
Judge 3: A pumpkin – filled with every imaginable horror!
(Each judge walks over and holds up something from out of the pumpkin, before
dropping it back in again; the showing of each ‘exhibit’ prompting
cries of admiration from the cast)
Judge 1: A venomous snake!
Judge 2: A warty toad!
Judge 3: A blood-covered axe!
Judge 1: Ah yes! There is something for everyone!
Judge 2: But who is to be our champion this year?
Judge 3: Let’s meet the contestants!
Music 2 Witch Queen of New Orleans - Redbone
(Enter 3 witches)
Witches: (Together) We are the three witches of Macbeth!
(Three witches recite 2 lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, whilst bent over a caldron)
Witches: Double, double, toil and trouble
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
Witch 1: Evil we look!
Witch 2: Ugly we are!
Witch 3: (All sweetly) Choose us, kind judges
Witches: (Screaming together) Or we’ll have yaaaaaaaaah!
(Witches race over to the judges, making menacing gestures)
Judge 1: That’s enough!
Judge 2: We will not be intimidated!
Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly
'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status!
Cast Size: 15 - 30
Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions.
I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script!
Sample Text
Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show
(Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre!
Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me?
Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk!
Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go!
(Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning)
Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story
Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already!
Narrator: About a king and a queen
Wicked Fairy: Boring!
Narrator: And their longing for a child!
Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be?
Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um..
Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’!
Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up
Wicked Fairy: And?
Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story
Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me!
Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche!
Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse!
Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now!
Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!
The Easter Egg Hunt Assembly for Key Stage 1
This is a class play/assembly lasting about 10 minutes, based on the same nine birds as used in the Key Stage II version but with a further 21 feathery friends to make up the numbers - to 30.
Sample Text
Rude Robin: (Huffily) And mine! Mind you don't drop it!
Posh Pigeon: I'm sure you'll be delighted with this one!
Polite Peacock: Please accept this. No need to thank me!
Boastful Buzzard: Here's the best of the lot!
Happy Hawk: Happy to be of service!
Crazy Cuckoo: You'd have to be cuckoo not to take mine!
Weepy Woodpecker: (Weeping) Oh woe! When will I see you again, little egg?
Kind Kingfisher: There, there! (To Weepy Woodpecker) Here's another handkerchief for you! (To Clumsy Chicken) And an egg for you!
Serious Stork: (Very seriously) Take great care! This is serious business!
Pretty Polly Parrot: Pretty Polly! Pretty Polly! Here's a pretty egg for you!
Flamboyant Flamingo: Here we are! My very best!
Gracious Grouse: Please accept this!
Cranky Crow: (Crankily) Take this! Can I go now?
Bored Blackbird: (Yawning) Yeah! How much more?
Thoughtful Thrush: Now, now! A little patience! I think you'll find we're nearly done!
Dim Dove: Where did you want it?
Loud Lark: (Shouting) Right there! In that basket! Here, watch me! (Demonstrating) Easy, huh?
Outspoken Owl: About time! This is the last time I'm standing at the end of the line!
Hoarse Humming bird: (Humming) Here you are!
Miserable Magpie: (Whining) Last but not least! What a wait!
Olympic Games 2016 Class Play - on all 28 sports! (One of 10 Olympic scripts written by Sue Russell)
Cast of 30, approximate duration: 30 minutes.
This class play on the 2016 Rio Olympic Games covers all 28 sports, identifying the challenges facing all those taking part in the Games this year. And as usual, our narrator has more than enough challenges of his own - keeping order with this very 'mixed bunch'! Citius Altius and Fortius are all admirably demonstrated - even by those winning backwards!?! Read on to find out who these unlikely champions are!
Sample Text:
Narrator: Well I do feel I’m burning up rather a large number of calories – just listening to what all these athletes have to do! Still, I guess sitting in a boat can’t be that hard!
Child 16: (Exploding) Pardon? I’d like to see you taking on them rapids!
Narrator: (Anxiously) Rapids? Whoever said anything about rapids? Not the white water variety I’m hoping?
Child 16: Oh yes! You could find yourself in some very deep water!
Narrator: Not if I have anything to do with it! I’ll be keeping my feet firmly on the ground!
Child 16: Well, we do race our canoes on still water, too. But there’s nothing still about our bodies when we’re battling to get to that finishing line first!
Child 17: And then there’s us rowers! The only guys to cross the finishing line backwards!
Narrator: Pardon?
Child 17: Yes, winning backwards is our speciality! Eight of us pulling on those oars, splashing along backwards!
Narrator: So how can you see where you’re going?
Child 17: By listening to the cox – he or she acts as our eyes and tells us which way to go!
Narrator: Quite a responsible job, I’m guessing! Keeping you on that river – and not in it!
Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage One
Cast Size: 25 easily adjusted up or down (Class teacher taking role of Narrator)
Duration: Around 5 – 10 minutes
This assembly is based on 10 nursery rhymes and, as explained in the production notes, can be seen as a template - adding or replacing rhymes as you see fit.
There is a longer assembly available (around 15 - 20 minutes) which has a choice of 20 nursery rhymes - this one is called Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version - and this could also be used by Key Stage II or used as a combined production, between both Key Stages - i.e. as a collaborative piece. Please note: the first half of the extended assembly uses the original 10 rhyme script i.e. just adds on.
Sample Text:
Narrator: What is that noise?
(Enter cat playing fiddle, followed by cow holding moon; dog; and dish holding a spoon)
(Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines)
Hey Diddle Diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away
With the spoon.
(Exit cat, cow, dog and dish)
(Everyone uncovers their ears)
Narrator: Oh thank goodness for that. I mean, don’t get me wrong – we all like a little music … but not quite like that!
(Enter Little Miss Muffet)
(Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines)
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
(Enter Spider)
There came a big spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
(Exit Little Miss Muffet and Spider)
Narrator: (Cowering behind children) Has it gone? Is it safe to come out yet?
Whole cast: (Sighing) Yes. The spider’s gone, Miss!
(Narrator returns to her former place)
Narrator: Huh! Well, that’s fine then. (Pauses) Not that I was ever scared of that wee spider! Nah – just acting along with Miss Muffet there!
(Whole cast look at each other, shaking heads)
Narrator: (Coughing) Any how! Moving on.
(Enter Old Mother Hubbard and her dog)
Narrator: Ah! A dear old lady and her wee doggie.
(Whole cast recites rhyme; characters acting out the lines)
Old Mother Hubbard
She went to the cupboard
To fetch her poor dog a bone,
But when she got there,
The cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog had none.
(Collective sympathetic sigh from the Cast)
Narrator: Oh dear! Oh we can’t have that!
(Narrator rummages around in her handbag and comes up with a bone)
(Narrator holds up bone to dog which bounds over to Narrator in delight, barking happily, jumping up and down, and trying to lick her face)
Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly
This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!)
Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down
Duration - around 20 minutes.
Sample Text:
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.
Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette?
Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon!
Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme
Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the
Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes.
(Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from!
But do tell us about this cannon!
Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest!
(Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers)
Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly.
(Sound of noisy children)
Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already!
(Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously)
(Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines)
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful!
(Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services!
Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline!
(Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly)
Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman?
Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children!
(Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr!
(Old Woman flails around with her stick)
Where are the little blighters?
Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!
Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage II
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down
Duration: 15 - 20 minutes (without inclusion of music suggestions)
Our Narrator has faced some 'mission impossibles' in his time but a Superheroes Assembly without ... Superheroes? Thank goodness there is always an Ancient Greek superhero around when you need him. But bringing out the 'super' in these particular heroes may prove too much of a challenge even for Hercules!
Sample Text:
Music 1 – Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler
(Whole cast file in, in order of speaking, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience)
Narrator: Good morning and welcome to
(Silence as Narrator waits for cast to respond - nothing but a couple of feeble coughs)
(Narrator turns round to face cast, speaking sideways on so that audience can hear)
Narrator: What’s going on? Where are all my Superheroes?
Superhero 1: Do you mean, us?
Superhero 2: If you want a show of superpowers here today, you’re out of luck!
Narrator: But why? What’s going on?
Superhero 3: More a case of what’s not going on!
Superhero 4: ‘Fraid we’re all recovering from colds
Superhero 5: And not feeling in the least bit ‘superhero-ish’!
Narrator: (Gasping) Oh no! So what am I supposed to tell this audience?
Superhero 6: Come back another day?
Narrator: No, I can’t do that! As you can see, they’re all here!
Superhero 7: Well, sorry, but even superheroes have their off days.
Narrator: (Desperately) But not, please, on the day of my assembly!
Superhero 8: ‘Fraid so!
Narrator: (Clasping head and groaning) Oh no! This cannot be! What a disaster!
Music 2 Greased Lightnin’ – Grease
(Enter Hercules, performing John Travolta moves)
Narrator: Well, good morning! (Looking through notes in confusion) This is … er … a bit of a surprise!
(Hercules snatches notes)
Hercules: Oh you don’t want to bother with those! Let’s go for a bit of good old fashioned spontaneity this morning!
Narrator: Old fashioned?
Hercules: Well, maybe a bit more than old. Make that, Ancient. (Pauses) Oh, and Greek!
Narrator: You mean, Ancient Greek?
Hercules: Exactly! And who better to represent that magnificent race – than myself, the great Hercules?
Narrator: Wow! You certainly were a superhero in your time!
Good and Bad Assembly or Class Play
Ever wondered why some people are happy and others not? Could it perhaps have anything to do with their outlook on life?
The two gangs in this assembly certainly see life very differently - well, they would, wouldn't they - given that one are a group of peace-loving hippies and the other, a group of street-wise warriors?
But no differences are irreconcilable. Read on!
Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down
Duration - around 10 minutes without inclusion of music suggestions (which will double the length of performance)
Sample Text
(BG stands for Bad Gang; GG stands for Good Gang)
BG Leader: (To GG Leader) There you have it, Sunshine! That’s my gang! Where’s yours?
Music 3 Joybringer – Manfred Mann’s Earthband
(BG 15 – 28 perform song, singing and dancing, joyously)
GG Leader: (Applauding) Ah now that’s more like it! Thank you so much!
GG 1: Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening!
BG 1: (Mimicking) Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening
(Bad Gang all fall about laughing)
(BG 2 goes over to GG 2, in threatening manner)
BG 2: So what are you going to say, little ‘joybringer’?
(Bad Gang all fall about laughing)
GG 2: Oh you needn’t think I’m afraid of you!
BG 2: Well, you should be! I don’t reckon much of your chances in a stand up fight with us lot
(Turns to Bad Gang) Am I right, guys?
Bad Gang: (Aggressively) Right!
(BG 2 swaggers back to seat)
GG 3: Oh I can’t tell you how much we’re (pointing to Good Gang) all looking forward to that!
(Collective Gasp from Bad Gang)
BG 3: Are you mad? Or just plain stupid?
GG 3: (Laughing) Maybe a little mad! But (pointing to Good Gang) we’re all good with that, right?
Good Gang: (Joyfully) Right!
BG 4: (Contemptuously) Pah! Just look at them! Thinking themselves so great!
GG 4: Oh I can assure you we’re far from being just thinkers!
BG 4: (Laughing, sarcastically) Right! You still up for some action?
(BG 4 struts up and down, bracing his muscles; Bad Gang all do the same)
GG 4: Very impressive – as a display! Shame it doesn’t have much substance!
BG 5: Pah! Just jealous, that’s what you are! Making fun of us – how low can you stoop!
GG 5: (Anxiously) Oh we didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourselves
Music 4 Bad – Michael Jackson
(Bad Gang all jump to their feet and perform again, as before)
Ancient Greek Myths Tale of Two Spinners Assembly or Class Play
This class play can be used as an assembly (for performance) or as a class play, to be read within the classroom. It is part of a set of scripts written on the Ancient Greek Myths which includes Guided Reading scripts plus quizzes. The poem - The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt - is included in the text.
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down
Duration - around 10 - 15 minutes
Sample Text:
Narrator: Now, that’s better.
(Ushering Incey Wincey Spider and Little Miss Muffet back to their seats)
(To audience) You see how ridiculous this fear of spiders is? What do they call it? Arachn
(Enter Arachne, scuttling on in spider costume)
Arachne: Someone mention my name?
Narrator: Ah! You’d be Arachne! As in Arachnophobia?
Arachne: Well, I have no fear of spiders. I just am one! All thanks to
(Enter Athene)
Athene: Me!
Arachne: Wretched goddess!
(Athene scowls and raises her hand)
Athene: (Menacingly) I’d be very careful what you say, if I were you Arachne! That tongue of yours has already got you into a whole heap of trouble!
Arachne: (Gesturing at the spider outfit) Oh you mean this? Just because I said I was a better spinner than you!
Athene: Foolish girl! What arrogance! You had to be punished!
Arachne: That wasn’t quite the only reason I got punished, was it?
Narrator: I’d say that was ample reason! Definitely too big for her boots, this one!
Arachne: (Wailing) But I was brilliant at my craft.
Athene: And didn’t you know it! You had to be taken down a peg or two.
Respect Assembly
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down.
Duration - around 10 minutes not including music suggestions.
This PSHE class play was written for Key Stage I - the part of the narrator taken by the Class Teacher.
Other Character Assemblies, Key Stage I & II, are available from writer, Sue Russell.
Sample Text
Goldilocks: Help! Help! Save me from these vicious bears!
Mummy Bear: (Retorting angrily) Vicious bears?
Daddy Bear: (Laughing) Who? Us?
Baby Bear: We’re the victims here, not her!
Narrator: Aha! Goldilocks and the Three Bears! Now that’s an interesting tale!
Mummy: One of burglary
Daddy Bear: Break in
Baby Bear: And vandalism!
Goldilocks: Oops! That bad?
All three bears: (Together, nodding) That bad!
Narrator: Oh dear! So not only have we a total lack of respect for people
Goldilocks: Bears!
Narrator: No difference! Don’t go making things worse for yourself, young lady!
Mummy Bear: Quite! Who ever heard such cheek?
Narrator: I repeat. Not only have we a total lack of respect for people (pauses) .. and bears! But a lack of respect for other’s property as well!
(Whole cast gasps in shock)
Goldilocks: (To Bears) I’m so sorry! I should never have walked into your home
Mummy Bear: Or eaten our food
Baby Bear: Or sat on our furniture
Daddy Bear: Or slept on our beds.
Goldilocks: I am so sorry. I’ll never do it again!
(Exit Goldilocks and the Three Bears, smiling at each other)
Narrator: Well, there’s a happy ending!
Child 1: But it’s very easy to go wrong! To forget that respect thing. We do need reminding of some important facts.
Child 2: Everyone is different.
Child 3: We all look different
Child 4: We all like different things
Child 5: I like running!
Child 6: I like football!
Child 7: I like reading a book!
Narrator: And that’s fine. Nothing wrong with having these differences!
Child 8: Our world would be so boring if everyone was the same!
Child 9: It doesn’t matter
Child 10: If you support Chelsea!
Child 11: Or Arsenal!
Awe and Wonder Assembly
Key Stage I (5 – 7 yrs)
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down.
Duration - around 10 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions and songs). Longer performance easy - with simple addition of more information.
Special guests to this class play: two superheroes - invited along to witness 'awesome' and 'wonderful' aka Nature and its superpowers - Who or what can beat a spider's artistry, a rainbow's beauty, the miracle of a butterfly and ... a great Milky Way!
Awe and Wonder Assembly/Class Play available for Key Stage II (7 – 11yrs) – on Seven Natural Wonders of the World (Grand Canyon, Great Coral Reef etc).
As a special offer, FREE with purchase of this script - a set of lovely photos taken at last year's Sensational Butterflies Exhibition at the Natural History Museum. Drop me a line at sue@plays-r-ussell.com
Sample Text:
(Enter 4 children in pyjamas)
Narrator: Looks like you lot are ready for bed!
Child 12: (Pointing up) Star gazing!
Child 13: That’s what we’re doing!
Child 14: (Sighing) They’re so beautiful!
Child 15: (To Narrator) Care to join us?
Narrator: Don’t mind if I do! What can you see?
(As Narrator is gazing upwards, children share out chocolates among themselves; Narrator suddenly realises he has been ‘duped’)
Narrator: Hey! Give me those chocolates!
Child 12: But we’re about to tell you about them!
Child 13: This one is the name of a group of stars – a galaxy!
Child 14: This one is the galaxy we live in – the Milky Way!
Narrator: (To Child 15) And this one?
Child 15: Well, this one isn’t really a star. It’s a planet – Mars!
Narrator: (Taking Mars bar) Well, I’d better have that one, then!
(To audience, aside) My favourite!
Environment Assembly - what can we do to help?
Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down.
Narrator plus 29 protestors! And who would have thought our narrator would find himself ... a protestor?
Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions). The length of the script can of course be easily extended by adding on more information about man's negative impact on the environment and what we can do to reduce our carbon footprints.
Sample text:
Protestor 28: We can all do something
Protestor 29: Even if it’s just in our own back yard.
Narrator: (Applauding) Ah! Now you’re making sense! You see, sometimes I think we look at the big picture
Protestor 1: (Interrupting) And feel overwhelmed?
Narrator: Exactly! I mean, we all know about global warming, the greenhouse effect, the destruction of rainforests. And I for one think, well, what can I do about it?
Protestor 1: And the good news is
Whole cast: (Shouting together) Plenty!
Narrator: Oh really? Well, you know something? I’m feeling better already!
Protestor 2: So, here’s what we can do to help and sustain our world.
Narrator: Hold on! Could you just explain what you mean by that last bit?
Protestor 2: What? You mean the bit about sustaining our world?
Narrator: Yes. If you would, please.
Protestor 3: OK. So what we mean by sustaining life on this planet is looking after it in a way or ways which will last. We’re not looking for quick fix solutions which won’t last.
Narrator: Excellent. And by ‘life’
Protestor 4: We don’t just mean that of us human beings
Protestor 5: But the life of plants
Protestor 6: Wildlife
Protestor 7: Ecosystems
Protestor 8: And habitats
Narrator: You mean like the rainforests, the poles, the deserts, the oceans
Protestor 9: Well, yes. But there are places far nearer to home that we can make a difference to now.
Narrator: (Wiping his brow) Phew! I am so relieved you said that. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed again!
Protestor 10: Let’s keep this simple!
Narrator: Oh please! That would be a great comfort to me!
Protestor 11: So, what can we do in our own back yard?
Protestor 12: Clear it up?
(Everyone laughs)
Protestor 11: You’re right! That’s a good place to start. We all have way too much rubbish!
Narrator: So how can we stop that?
Protestor 12: How about we start with recycling?
Narrator: You mean cycling … in reverse?
(Everyone groans)
Protestor 12: How about you leave the jokes to us! Though, recycling is no laughing matter. We should all be doing it.
Seven Wonders of the Ancient World Assembly
1. Great Pyramid of Giza
2. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
3. Temple of Artemis
4. Statue of Zeus at Olympia
5. Colossus of Rhodes
6. Lighthouse of Alexandria
7. Hanging Gardens of Babylon
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down
Duration - around 15 minutes reading time (not including music suggestions)
This Key Stage II Class play follows on from two other assemblies (KSI & II) on the Wonders of the Natural World - under the title of Awe and Wonder and found in the PSHE section of the website.
I, Sue Russell, decided to limit the Wonders of the 'Man-Made' World to the Seven Wonders of the Classical World as, had I based a script on modern-day wonders, the list would have been endless. I am happy to write a script based on modern day wonders but will wait on a teacher making such a request - with a list I can work from! Otherwise making an arbitrary choice of wonders is an impossible task!
Sample Text
Narrator: (Cowering) Oh, Oh! Not another unhappy god! Helios, god of the sun, am I right?
Helios: Yes, and my statue was known as the Colossus of Rhodes, built 280B.C. in the city of Rhodes, on that same Greek island, by one Charles of Lindos; and destroyed 226 B.C.
Narrator: Ah but you were so impressive – all 108 feet of you! That’s about the same as the Statue of Liberty! Certainly the tallest statue of the ancient world!
Helios: And that’s meant to make me feel better?
Narrator: Well, there was nothing anyone could have done to save you. As I think I remember hearing before, that’s earthquakes for you!
But here, let us take a look at you, Helios, god of the sun, in your prime – or rather, that of your statue!
(Narrator holds up picture of Colossus of Rhodes)
Narrator: Behold the Colossus of Rhodes!
(Helios bows and exits)
Narrator: (Consulting notes) Five down, two to go!
Heckler: (Yawning) How many did you say?
Narrator: Don’t tell me you haven’t been counting? Or is anything over five a bit of a struggle for you?
Heckler: Ooh! That’s not nice! And just to show you I am actually interested in the past, I’ll give this next one my undivided attention!
Narrator: Fine!
(To audience) Let’s hope it’s a good one!
(Enter Pharaoh Ptolemy II)
Music 7 Carl Orff – O Fortuna – Carmina Burana
Ptolemy II: Ah so you are here to admire the Lighthouse of Alexandria! Behold!
St. George's Day Assembly or Class Play
What on earth could the queen of England, our narrator alias Beefeater/guard of the Tower of London and the Artful Dodger have in common? Read on to find out what 'Twist' turns the Artful Dodger into Sir Artful Dodger!
Cast size: 25 but easily adjusted up or down
Duration: Around 20 minutes (depending on how much music is used)
The focus of this play is London. Time constraints meant I just touched on England's history - events and people. I have addressed this 'shortfall' in the collection of guided reading scripts (available separately).
Sample Text
(Enter Sir Winston Churchill, smoking a pipe)
Narrator: Ah, Sir Winston Churchill! Thank goodness. You pulled us through that Second World War - can you help me deal with this group of .. of ... super-women?
Sir Winston Churchill: What? This lot? Leave it to me!
Music 5 Who Do you Think You Are - Spice Girls
(Spice Girls sing and make threatening gestures toward Sir Winston Churchill, who cowers and runs off stage)
Narrator: (Aside) Hmm. Time for a different kind of ‘Help!" (Turning to Spice Girls) Hey girls, here come the Beatles!
Spice Girls: (Together) Beetles? Did someone say, beetles?
(All Spice Girls scream and run off stage)
Music 6 Help - Beatles
(Beatles stride on, singing Help!)
Narrator: OK! That's probably as much help as I need! Thank you, boys!
Beatles: (Together) No probs!
(Exit Beatles)
Narrator: So. Enough of this frivolity! Back to the serious stuff! Take my job at the Tower, for example
(Queen Elizabeth runs back onto stage, in state of total panic)
Narrator: Your Majesty! Whatever is the matter? Don't tell me you spilt your tea?
Queen Eliz: (Gasping) Haven't you heard?
Music 7 London Bridge is Falling Down
(Cast sings first verse)
Narrator: But that was around one thousand years ago, Your Majesty! It has been rebuilt several times since then!
Queen Eliz: No! No! It's not that I'm worried about!
Narrator: Oh no! Don't tell me the Thames Barrier has failed?
Queen Eliz: What? The world's largest movable flood barrier? Of course not!
Narrator: So. Has Buckingham Palace been burgled?
Music 8 They're Changing Guards At Buckingham Palace
(Cast sings first verse, as two guards in uniform march up and down)
Queen Eliz: What? With my fine guards to keep us safe? I don't think so!
Narrator: (Gasping) Don't tell me St. Paul's Cathedral has burnt to the ground again?
Queen Eliz: (Sighing in exasperation) No. Our fire service has improved a little since that Great Fire of London!
St. George's Day Poem (or Ode to St. George)
This poem was written in celebration of St. George's Day. It's about championing the cause of a national holiday and celebrating England as a country.
Sample text:
Rule Britannia!
St. George's Day is here.
England never shall have
Anything to fear!
Land of Hope and Glory
Mother of the Free
We have no national holiday
Now how can that be?
St. George, get off your charger
And come and sort this out.
If you truly champion valour
Then leave us in no doubt.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Following emboldened text spoken by St. George)
OK, I wasn't born in England
That is certainly true.
I was actually born in the Middle East
When Christianity was taboo.
But wait a while, have you not heard
Exactly how I lost my head?
In defending my own Christian faith
I ended up .... Dead!
An inspiration
To those Crusaders later.
If you don't believe me, kids,
Go check your data!
I know how much England
Means to you.
Keep pride in your country
Trust me ‐ I do!
It's a while since I fought
For any worthwhile cause.
But give me a chance
And I'll champion yours!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
England has history that goes on forever
(Makes up, perhaps, for our crummy weather!)
England produced the Beatles, the Stones and the Who
And a capital city, London - equaled by few.
England serves the very best tea
England has health care that is free.
England is the place to be
England is the land of the free.
Ancient Greek Myths Odysseus and the Cyclops Assembly or Class Play
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down
Duration - around 10 to 15 minutes reading time (around 20 with addition of music)
One of several Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell. A set of 5 Ancient Greek Myths is also available in Guided Reading format, each with 6 speakers, and its own quiz.
Sample Text:
Poseidon: Oh I’m sure it is! So you stopped off at my son’s island for a bit of a holiday?
(To audience) I’ve heard the Greek islands are a favourite holiday destination. Island hopping, I believe you call it?
Odysseus: Well, that was hardly our intention. We wanted to get home.
Ancient Greek 6: But stopping off for a bit of a rest did make sense.
Ancient Greek 7: Though it didn’t turn out to be quite the holiday we expected!
Ancient Greek 8: Stuck in the back of that cave
(Enter Polyphemus, finding his way to the group, with the aid of a white stick)
Polyphemus: (Bellowing loudly) My home!
Ancient Greek 9: Hardly the best that Airbnb have to offer!
Polyphemus: (Bellowing angrily) Pardon? There’s nothing wrong with my cave I’ll have you know!
Ancient Greek 10: Nothing at all – until you get your head bashed against one of the walls! I was the first to suffer at your hands
Ancient Greek 11: And I the second!
Ancient Greek 1: And I the third!
Ancient Greek 2: And I the fourth
Ancient Greek 3: And I the fifth
Ancient Greek 4: And I the sixth!
Poseidon: (Tutting) Son! Really! That was rather greedy, even by your standards!
Polyphemus: (Muttering sulkily) But I didn’t eat them all in one go!
Odysseus: (Sarcastically) Oh that was very good of you!
Polyphemus: Well, thank you!
Poseidon: No, I think he’s being sarcastic, son! The lowest form of wit. But something tells me, not quite low enough for you!
Odysseus: (To Polyphemus) So come on! What have you got to say in your defence? Surely you don’t want your old man thinking you have the table manners of a monster?
Polyphemus: (Spluttering) Well, I er,
Ancient Greek 5: You just fancied a change from lamb stew, right?
Polyphemus: (Beaming) Oh that’s right! Indeed I did!
Ancient Greek 6: I expect lamb gets pretty boring night after night?
Polyphemus: Oh you’re right!
Ancient Greek 7: So we made a pleasant change to your diet?
Polyphemus: (Slapping his large belly, fondly) Well, I’d hardly call it a diet!
Ancient Greek Myths The Gorgon's Head Assembly or Class Play
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down
Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes not including music
What was Poseidon thinking - taking on all these women? He might succeed at putting the youth Perseus in his place but a group of 'wronged women'? Never!
This is one of a large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell – guided reading scripts also available.
Sample Text:
Medusa: Just like I said! Gods! Men! The bane of our lives!
Poseidon: (Clutching his forehead, muttering) I think I have a headache coming on. (Pauses)You know something? I suddenly feel just a little outnumbered! Would you ladies mind just giving me a short break?
(Exit Athene, Medusa and Danae, shrugging their shoulders)
Poseidon: Phew! Peace at last! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against ‘the weaker sex’
(Athene comes storming back)
Music 3 War – Edwin Starr – Brief excerpt
Athene: What was that you just said? Weaker, eh? I’ll show you weaker!
(Athene strides up and down, wielding her sword)
Poseidon: (Holding hand up) OK. I apologize.
Athene: Goddess of wisdom and war!
(To Poseidon) You’d do well to remember that!
Poseidon: (Aside) As if I could forget!
(To Athene) Now, what was I saying about having a little peace?
Athene: Huh! Give me war any day!
(Exit Athene)
Poseidon: (Clutching head) Women! I knew I should never have agreed to this!
(Enter Perseus, giving Poseidon a ‘high five)
Perseus: What’s up, bro?
Poseidon: (Indignantly) Bro? I’ll give you bro!
Perseus: OK so I guess it’s Uncle, really – seeing as Zeus was my dad, and your brother!
Poseidon: Correct! So, no more bro, right?
Perseus: Fair enough! So, what’s the plan, dude?
Poseidon: (Exploding) Dude? That’s even worse than bro! What is it with you youngsters? Can’t you talk normally?
Perseus: (Sighing) OK I’ll try! I’m just not used to hanging out with oldies like you!
Poseidon: (Exploding) Now look here, young Perseus! If you and me are going to get along, you need to show a little respect!
(Enter Danae)
Danae: Perseus! Where are those manners I taught you?
Poseidon: I think he might have lost them during his travels!
Danae: Well, let’s help him find them again! Poseidon is only trying to
Poseidon: (Looking at his watch) Get this story told? Well, that’s proving a bit of a challenge!
(To Danae) No offence, madam, but you women don’t half talk a lot!
(Enter Polydectes, accompanied by ‘several’ women, all chatting and laughing)
Polydectes: (Groaning) Tell me about it! You want to try keeping them quiet in court! Once they get going there’s no stopping them!
Twelve New Labours of Hercules Assembly
NB: This script is not about the original 12 Labours of Hercules! It is based around a completely different set of challenges – on the kind of ‘admirable qualities’ the cast feels Hercules should have – presenting him with a 12-part self-improvement plan!
This is a kind of spin off from the Superheroes script - almost a reversal in fact; as whilst in that script it was Hercules trying to make superheroes out of a pretty unpromising cast, this script is about the cast pulling the punches - Hercules struggling along in their wake!
Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down
Duration around 15 - 20 minutes not including music suggestions.
This Key Stage II class play is PSHE ‘orientated’ as it focuses on 'character improvements' e.g. humility, courage, mutual respect, upholding what is right, keeping positive, patience, love .... and of course the hardest of all, being happy!
Sample Text:
Child 11: A start to your self-improvement plan.
Hercules: My what?
Child 12: Well, we all feel you are lacking
Hercules: Me? The great Hercules? Lacking?
Child 12: (Coughing) If you would allow me to finish? We all feel you are lacking – make that, greatly lacking in some of the qualities you should have as
Hercules: As a great superhero? I don’t think so!
Child 13: Actually, I was going to say, as a member of the human race! Your mother was a mortal, right?
Hercules: Yes
Child 14: So I’m sure she’d appreciate us trying to improve you!
Hercules: Huh! How can you improve on perfection?
Music 3 Chariots of Fire theme music
(Hercules strides around ‘looking magnificent’)
(Child 15 walks over to the music and turns it off)
Hercules: (Indignantly) Hey! What’s the big idea?
Child 15: I think we all get it! You are Mr Universe!
Hercules: (Looking very pleased with himself) Well, thank you. I
Child 15: (Pointing to head) In your head, that is!
Hercules: (Furiously) Pardon?
Child 15: Oh do stop saying that! Anyone would think you had a hearing problem!
Hercules: (Spluttering) I most definitely do not! Everything about my physique is perfect!
Child 15: Like I said, maybe on the outside. But it’s what’s on the inside that is sadly lacking. But don’t worry, we are going to help fix that!
Hercules: (Sarcastically) And may I ask how?
Child 16: You may! All very simple. You just have to complete 12 simple tasks that we set you.
Hercules: (Laughing) Oh I get it! You are going to give me another 12 labours.