I know I am over-working (or that I need to get out more) when listening to a song sparks an inner debate about teaching. R.E.M.’s The Apologist, in which Michael Stipe emotively sings “I’m sorry, so sorry”, had such an impact on me this week.
The question I internally posed is simple: is there a role for the humble “sorry” in our lessons? Should a teacher ever apologise?
I think there are times when a sorry is definitely necessary, and times when it should never be uttered.
When it’s the wrong time to apologise
Ah, the phrase that can quickly crush the spirit of any lesson: the apology for its content - “Sorry folks, I know this is a bit boring - but it’s got to be done”.
It is done with good intentions. This “sorry” embodies a slightly desperate desire to keep the young people on side. It is a misguided attempt to engender a collective spirit: we are in our monotonous learning experience together and we can get through it.
The issue is that any student who was already struggling to find motivation in our classroom has now been handed a perfect excuse to switch off. The minute we apologise for what we have included in a lesson, we are giving a passport to lethargy at best and inattentiveness at worse.
While, naturally, we may not feel a burning desire to spend time on some aspects of our curriculum, young people should never get a sniff of apathy from us. Instead, the very best teachers have an infectious and uncanny ability to be relentlessly enthusiastic and positive about everything they teach.
When it’s the right time to apologise
Time for an honest disclaimer: I apologise in my lessons frequently. When do I do it? I apologise when I make a mistake. Recently, for example, I tentatively went for it with spelling onomatopoeia on the board and, as my class delighted in clarifying, I was incorrect. “Sorry folks, who wants to check it for me.”
Yes, I am an English teacher - but spelling (especially onomatopoeia) is hard work. I would love my students to mirror this approach: to give it a go, perhaps fail and then confirm the correct answer.
I also apologise when I might inadvertently curb a student’s answer, or when I do something that might make them feel less confident in my room. “I’m so sorry, have you finished?”, is one such phrase I frequently use. Or, “I’m really sorry, have I misunderstood you?”.
Interpersonal dynamics play such a huge role in creating a reciprocal atmosphere of trust and respect in a classroom. It is brilliant when my students mirror this and start apologising to each other, being courteous and supportive.
I also frequently make mistakes and apologise when managing behaviour in my lessons. I’m a far cry from the angry character Groundskeeper Willie, from the animated comedy The Simpsons, that I embodied at the start of my career but, every so often, I might overreact to a situation.
If I do, I am now quick to apologise and try to initiate a whole class or individual conversation about what might have happened. I care about how the young people I teach do, so that conversation always revolves around that.
Our classrooms should aim to be a communication haven, one that allows young people a break from the lack of decorum you find in the typical social media interaction. As teachers, we are role models who are very much fallible and human. Having the strength to apologise is an important part of being in the classroom - just not for our content!
Jamie Thom is a teacher of English and an author, based in Scotland. He tweets @teachgratitude1 and his latest book is Teacher Resilience: managing stress and anxiety to thrive in the classroom
