As a tear tumbles down my face in the darkness, I tell myself that crying is a perfectly natural response to great works of art. If you’ve seen Toy Story 4, then you’ll understand.
A stealthy glimpse around the cinema confirms I’m not the only parent having a cathartic moment, although the small children in the room are resolutely dry-eyed.
When it comes to crying, we all have different triggers, and mine can be unpredictable - in this case, the cue comes from a disarmingly cute animated plastic spork named Forky.
But while some people’s thresholds are higher than others, shedding tears to express emotion is an entirely normal reflex for us humans. It is, in fact, a trait that separates us from all our friends in the animal kingdom. So should we be alarmed at findings that three in four headteachers have seen a colleague in tears this term?
Perhaps not. Openly displaying feelings in front of a senior colleague at school should never be seen as shameful, especially given the time, energy and emotional investment teachers put into their jobs. Teaching can be a rollercoaster at the best of times, let alone during a pandemic; it’s no surprise if fatigue and frustration spill over into tears from time to time.
Teacher wellbeing: The stress of teaching during Covid
But despite all that, the 75 per cent statistic feels troubling - even to a self-confessed crier. It’s hard to separate it from all we know about the draining toll on teachers of sky-high workloads, minimal Covid safety and government expectations that ignore the reality of learning loss.
There’s also the question of how it feels for those leaders faced with distressed staff, at a time when they may be feeling on the brink themselves, having spent the past 18 months dealing with mind-boggling levels of responsibility. It’s one thing trying to ensure that all students receive an education during a pandemic; it’s another making sure they are being fed, all while trying to keep staff as safe as possible.
Faced with a colleague welling up, a good leader won’t just hand over a tissue but will try to find out what’s behind the tears. My unexpected blubbing in the cinema wasn’t caused by the wonky-eyed spork itself but what it signified in the film: a source of comfort to a little girl struggling to settle into her new classroom. It was a struggle that played out fairly dramatically each morning with the five-year-old scoffing popcorn next to me.
Because schools are where millions of messy emotions - those of children, parents and sometimes staff - collide. And dealing with them all appropriately as a leader requires time and sufficient reserves of emotional energy to expend on others - both of which may be in short supply given the current toxic combination of accountability demands, funding shortages and burned-out teachers.
We need action on all the above. Otherwise, as this term slides into depressingly familiar territory with an intransigence from ministers over rising Covid cases in schools - and at a time of year when heads may be thinking about notice periods - how many will come to the tearful conclusion that a tipping point has been reached?
@CharlotteSantry
