The phrase “your colleagues become your family” is often said by teachers in international schools and, when you’re in a new country and don’t know anyone, it’s easy to see why the colleagues you see in school every day soon become friends, too.
There is nothing wrong with this, of course, but if your friendship group is also your workgroup, it is easy to find a Saturday night dinner or Sunday morning walk spent talking about the latest school policy - and you never really get a break from work mode.
Furthermore, colleagues come and go quickly in international schools and, if your professional and social life become intertwined, friends can often leave suddenly, leaving you alone.
This is why making friends in-country can be so beneficial for teachers. Making friends as an adult is sometimes easier said than done but here are some ways I’ve found to make friends abroad, which other new international teachers may find helpful.
1. Social media
There are now many social media apps designed to help people make friends, such as Meetup or Bumble For Friends. Many of these apps allow you to select interests and activities so you can connect with others who enjoy doing the same thing.
These apps have allowed me to join a dodgeball group and also find a truly British pub quiz in Chicago.
The great thing is that everyone on the app is also trying to make new friends, so they are great for meeting like-minded people. In my experience, social media has often been the key to making the connections and friendships that have allowed me to enjoy life in my host country.
2. Hobby and interest groups
Whether you’re a keen tennis player, baker or gardener, there is always a group of people living in your country who share that interest.
Again, whether through social media or local advertising, try to find these groups and show up. I am currently in the US and have joined volleyball, kickball and ten-pin bowling teams, and made great friends this way.
Other school staff can also help with this. Try to tag along with a colleague and, when you’re there, find other people to begin new friendships with.
3. Volunteer
One of the best ways to make connections is to give back to the local community that is hosting you.
While living in the Bahamas, a friend of a friend mentioned he was starting a community fridge project. I asked to join and then later found myself making new friends, all while making a difference in the local community.
Schools will often partner with local charities that can help you find opportunities. Also, look for your local Red Cross to find possible volunteer opportunities and you are sure to find something.
4. Ex-pat groups
It’s not just teachers moving overseas for work. Many other British nationals are creating a new life in a new country. You’ll be able to find ex-pat groups on social media and online for chances to meet with people who can help you explore a new country while getting a little slice of home.
These groups also plan a variety of activities, so you’ll never find yourself bored when meeting new people and making new friends.
5. Be brave
You’ve gotten this far. You’ve managed to move around the world on your own and you’re still in one piece. Therefore, you’re brave enough to venture out alone. Once you find some local places where people often socialise, pluck up the courage to introduce yourself to people.
Living in the Bahamas, the gym was a great way for me to meet new people. After seeing regular faces time and time again, I struck up a conversation with a few. Next thing you know, I am sitting at a secret beach bar that tourists and ex-pats don’t know about.
The braver you get, the luckier you get.
Lewis Warren is a primary teacher and an international school teacher in America
