When I finished my maternity leave, returning to work was a big adjustment for me. I felt as though I had to work like I had no children, and mother like I didn’t work - and was contending with all the emotions that came with those feelings.

Coupled with brain fog, imposter syndrome, the fact that everything had moved on quite substantially from when I was last in, and the fact that my mornings now needed to be scheduled to the precision of an Ocean’s 11 heist to make sure that everyone was fed, dressed and at the right place for (close to) the right time.  

The exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy were suffocating at times, but as each term went on, I started to get more into a routine and good habits were made. Slowly, it began to feel like I perhaps wasn’t terrible at my job at all. And by term three, it seemed that term four was going to be the stuff of dreams. 

Ah complacency, what a luxury it was. 

When the announcement first came that schools were to close due to Covid-19, I thought that my daughter would still be going to nursery... until the government announced its support package and her nursery shut as well. 

Coronavirus: A parent-teacher in lockdown

And that was that. I was about to have a very interesting end to term three, working from home with a 16-month-old: a toddler who had just learned to walk but hadn’t learned to talk yet.  

It’s been an experience. Here are a few quick take-home points from the past few weeks. 

1. Tantrums happen 

If your child is anything like mine, they will be struggling to understand why their usual routine has disappeared. They can’t see their friends or the nursery workers that they loved; the timings they were used to have changed; they can’t go to the park or see their grandparents. 

The most frustrating part is that while they are old enough to know that something is different, they aren’t old enough to understand why. This is bound to lead to frustration, and when a child can’t articulate themselves, frustration will come out in the most carnal way. 

So I’ve been enjoying tantrums that I’ve never seen before. All I can do is remind myself that my daughter is super-frustrated, sit with her, cuddle her and tell her (and myself) that this will pass. 

2. Follow inspirational accounts, but don’t feel obliged to copy them

Children of my daughter’s age are at an incredible stage of progress and milestones.

Before lockdown, I knew that nursery and time spent with her grandparents were contributing to my daughter’s development.

This meant that, on my days off and at weekends, I could focus on having fun with her, rather than teaching her the alphabet and colours.

And now, her progress is solely down to me.

It takes a village to raise a child, but at the moment the village is temporarily shut. Or is it? 

Social media is full of amazing ideas that will occupy children for at least six minutes. Early years settings are putting up videos of activities, such as storytime, on Youtube, while others are sharing timetables. 

Make use of these resources, but remember that you don’t need to follow everything to the letter, so only take the ideas that work for you. 

3. You can buy, but don’t forget what you already have 

My online shopping was getting slightly out of control as I wildly ordered cotton reels, pom poms, water beads, a sand pit and more. It reached the point where it was exciting to see what turned up each day, as I couldn’t fully remember what I’d ordered the night before.  

It took a friend of mine to remind me that I have a lot of ready-made activities, and that I perhaps didn’t need to be buying quite so much. 

Now, instead of recycling, I’ve created a treasure box that my daughter is obsessed with, filled with things like egg boxes and bubble wrap from all the packages. 

There is a postbox made from old boxes to post things through, and a plastic box to fill with water and washing up liquid and cornflour, a mixture that we can use to blow some bubbles with a piece of string. 

Someone even suggested using rice and pasta for sensory play - although I don’t think I’ll be wasting my precious pasta any time soon. We are in a pandemic, after all.

The point is that you can work with what you’ve got. My daughter loves all the activities we do, and has no concept of what cost me £25 and what was swiped from the cupboards. 

4. Know when enough is enough 

To be honest, I think I gave myself burnout in the first week of lockdown, because I didn’t have realistic expectations.  

I thought I would be able to lead a team from afar - setting up new structures that my staff would be able to follow effortlessly to support the pupils, who were also working from home -  whilst simultaneously training as an early years practitioner, running the house, cooking, cleaning and responding to every email.  

I realise now that this was never sustainable and have had to set some personal boundaries. This included asking my other half, who is also a key worker, if he could work from home once a week, so that I could work undisturbed for a day.   

5. Schedule some structure 

Having a loose schedule has been super-useful for us. We still get up and changed as if it were a normal week day, and then have breakfast together. I aim to be “at work” for 9am.  

At this point, CBeebies tags in, along with an array of toys that will keep my daughter going until her first nap. I have set up my workspace where my daughter plays, so she can get to me at all times.  

When she is sleeping, I do the tasks that would be impossible to do with her presenting a book to me every five minutes. I speak to pupils and parents, chase up work, discuss food packages and make headway on my curriculum for when we return to school.  

When my daughter wakes, we do an activity together (at the moment it’s all fine motor skills fun) and then we try and get outside - I am very lucky to have a garden - until lunch, when I can do a bit more work while she eats and I have a working lunch (no change here!).  

For the third part of the day, we take a walk or, if I’m really tired, we watch one of Julia Donaldson’s masterpieces with some snacks. 

If, by the end of my daughter’s day, I feel like I still have more work to do, then I’ll do some just before I go to bed.  

6. Be kind to yourself 

Ultimately, you have to realise that you can’t do it all. 

The situation that we find ourselves in is indefinite and difficult. We can make it easier by developing our own digital village, jumping on Twitter and finding ideas. 

But more than anything we need to just be kind to ourselves, stay safe and, where possible, stay home.  

One day I’ll look back on this time and, rather than see it as a burden, I will see the extra time that I got to spend with my daughter as a gift.  

Nikki Cunningham-Smith is an assistant headteacher in Gloucestershire