The bell’s rung, you’re waving your class off to their parents and you’re distracted by the usual end-of-day hunt for jumpers. You notice a parent lingering with intent. “Can I have a word?” they ask - and you kiss goodbye to leaving the building before 6pm.
Or maybe it’s you who likes to ask parents for a chat in the playground at the end of the day? Just a quick mention of their child’s behaviour in the playground this morning and you can tick that off the to-do list.
But it’s never that simple. Here’s why the “quick chat” with a parent in the playground could be your downfall:
1. Confidentiality
Do not underestimate the playground gossips. They may look like they’re engrossed in their children, but they have undercover surveillance skills that MI5 would be jealous of. They are listening to every word and if they hear anything juicy, it will be all over the class WhatsApp group within minutes.
Of course, you know better than to talk about any issues that must stay confidential by law in the playground, but try to keep anything behaviour- or ability-related under your hat, too. Consider how the parents of a child with behavioural issues might feel if others were listening in.
2. Time management
The average teacher has approximately 286 things to do at the end of the day. Bear in mind that a “quick chat” in the playground can easily turn into an hour if the parent decides that they’re not leaving - or even a three-hour administrative nightmare if something that need to be recorded is disclosed.
Also be aware that if other parents witness you doing this, they will assume that they can grab you for a chat, as and when. Before you know it you’ve got a queue of six parents every afternoon who all want 20 minutes. Nobody’s got time for that.
3. Safety
If you’ve got something unpleasant to tell a parent, very rarely, there will be the potential for them to turn violent. It sounds dramatic, but it can happen. Having these conversations inside the school with colleagues close by is safer. Even if violence doesn’t erupt, heated discussions can. It is unpleasant and undermines your professionalism to be shouted at by a parent in front of other parents and pupils.
4. Boundaries
Just as you have boundaries with pupils, it is important to set them with their parents, too. Because chatting in the playground is informal, it can lead parents to believe that they have a closer relationship with you than they should. For some, it’s a short step from here to them trying to add you on Facebook and inviting you to the pub at the weekend.
5. What should you do instead?
While it’s great to be approachable and there’s nothing wrong with quick admin-type chats (“Yes, I’ll make sure Joe uses his inhaler”; “Class assembly is at 10.30am”), try to keep anything without an appointment to a minimum. An appointment is useful for both you and the parent, as it ensures that they have your full attention in a confidential environment. Plus, you are safe and have a specified time to finish.
Of course, it’s not always possible to make an appointment, in which case, ask the parent if they are available to talk (“Have you got 10 minutes for a chat?” is helpful here, as it is time-specific), and wait until everyone else has left the classroom before beginning. If you are discussing a sensitive issue, it can be helpful to have another member of staff present.
Nobody’s suggesting that you should be completely unapproachable. Parents love teachers who chat and laugh with them and a great teacher-parent relationship works wonders for the community feel of your school. Just be aware of the above and those after-school conversations should be less awkward for everybody.
Lisa Jarmin is a freelance writer and former EYFS teacher
