One of the companies caught up in the share dealing scandal involving The Mirror’s now sacked “City Slickers” business reporters was Sir Alan Sugar’s Viglen, which supplies kit to many schools. He is a close personal friend of the newspaper’s editor Piers Morgan, who managed to hang on to his job. Offline wonders what Sir Alan made of Privat Eye’s recent take-off of the paper’s agony aunt column. It reads: “Dear Miriam. I am 34 and have a real problem getting my shares up. What do you advise?” asks PM of Canary Wharf (oddly enough where The Mirror has its offices). The response? “Dear Piers. There’s something new on the market that’s just what you’re looking for! It’s called Viaglen, and it works wonders. Buy a large packet and watch your shares shoot up and stay up!”