It’s parents’ evening and there I am with my teacher hat on, giving feedback to a lovely mum about her child’s progress, explaining how greater consistency and effort in class would reap rewards. Then from the other side of the table comes the refrain: “I know, he is a one. He can’t sit still, can he? But, you know, boys will be boys!”

Later that same evening, another parent hears that a child’s concentration and application could be improved. I hear: “Yes, well, he is a typical boy like that, tries to cruise it till he knows it matters. He’ll pull it out of the bag for the test.”

As the mother of two boys, comments like these infuriate me. We would never accept such declarations about girls, yet we - and here I include teachers and parents - tend to casually accept low expectations for boys. Worse, teachers can also be guilty of setting those low expectations.

Isn’t it time we took a hard look at how we view boys in schools, so we can attempt to change our attitudes?

‘I need someone strong’

Despite being aware of the potential for unconscious bias and observing it in others, this is not always easy. As a parent of two primary-age boys, who do indeed have bagfuls of energy and rarely seem to want to sit down, I’m sure I have perpetuated the above perception myself at times. So I asked around for similar confessions from teachers on Twitter, as well as my own team.

Examples of bias cited include:

* Getting boys to move desks, deliver piles of books and open windows because “I need someone strong/tall to do it”.

* Saying boys are “gents” for holding the door open, but “thank you” to girls.

* Using terms such as “man flu” or “man up” when speaking to staff or students.

* Often using “volunteer” or “someone responsible” to mean a girl.

* Using humour with boys and emotional reasoning with girls.

* Using gendered terms such as chairman, policeman and fireman instead of chairperson, police officer and firefighter.

* Using the generic “he” or “man” instead of human, or using “man” as a verb, for example, “man the desks”.

* “Stop screaming like a girl…” I know I’ve said this to my own sons. Luckily I’ve already had them trained so they told me, “Mum, that’s sexist.”

In order to meet point one of the Department for Education’s Teachers’ Standards - setting high expectations - we should all ask ourselves how far we, perhaps unwittingly, let boys down by reinforcing lazy gender stereotypes such as these. Teachers’ expectations matter. Addressing conscious or unconscious gender bias, arising from unthinkingly accepted cultural norms, is key to equality in the classroom and workplace.

We face the danger of focusing too much on the routine denigration of girls and women

Currently, we face the danger of focusing too much on the routine denigration of girls and women (of which we are all too aware in this Brave New Trump World), at the expense of the perhaps invisible, patronising stereotyping of boys and men. They are all around us in advertising: the hapless husband, the hopeless dad, the messy or untidy boy, or more dangerously, the boy who just can’t control himself physically or verbally.

What can you do about this? The first step is to keep a record. Make a note, mental or otherwise, of any time you use gendered language or reinforce stereotypes in class. It might be as simple as using “boys” or “girls” to get a group’s attention. Was it deliberate? Accidental? What impact could it have had? By reflecting on frequency and effect, you can see just how prevalent the problem is.

Tape your talk

You could always take it a step further and undertake your own mini-research project: record your classes on camera or collect data focused on gender and questioning. Until they view their interactions on video, many teachers believe they are being balanced.

The Education Endowment Foundation toolkit has identified metacognition as one of our most useful tools in the classroom. Indulge in some metacognition: discuss gender stereotypes with your students, and the types of questions or classroom scenarios they feel happy and confident in. Consider classroom culture and explore how your teaching can evolve and adapt to ensure all students are likely to contribute, for example, by using no “hands up” or “cold calling” and keeping a tally of students.

We should ask ourselves how far we let boys down by reinforcing lazy sterotypes

Another option is to use data to analyse any trends in certain groups, whether gendered or otherwise. Consider whether the use of - or perhaps manipulation of - stereotypes can be useful in some cases in addressing underperformance, such as with white working-class boys. A recent article by Michael Merrick in TES was highly thought-provoking on aspiration and I found David Fawcett’s blog on analysing data equally helpful.

Whatever you choose to do, be certain that doing something is crucial. I am infuriated by the possibility that my children may be held back by stereotypical attitudes about gender. The idea that a teacher might think that my son can’t sit still and concentrate, can’t control himself, can’t write neatly, can’t be organised, can’t be patient, sensitive, gentle or kind because he is a boy, I find a sad indictment on a profession whose priority should be high expectations for all, no matter their gender.

Stephanie Keenan is curriculum leader for English and literacy at Ruislip High School in London. She tweets @stephanootis