Whether or not you know the difference between a push pass and a slap hit, teaching primary PE can be tricky. From the second students start getting changed to the point at which you’re packing away, there are a plethora of pitfalls just waiting to happen.

Here are my top five personal PE fails (which are, thankfully, totally avoidable!):
 

1. Getting pupils to pick their own teams
   It turns out that kids don’t really care whether their classmates have mastered the running dribble or not. They just want to be in the same team as their friends. Which means that this popularity contest will only end in tears. So, you should pick - on the basis that it’s much fairer if they’re all unhappy.
   
   
   
   
    
2. Telling, not showing 
   You’ve just described the three major flight techniques for the long jump and, despite your enthusiasm, you see 30 blank faces staring up at you. You realise they need to see it for themselves, but your hamstring hurts just thinking about the last time you attempted such a feat. Best to fire up the projector...
   
   
   
   
    
3. Not checking the technology
   You’ve just started an observation lesson in which you’re teaching Year 2 to dance the weather and seasons. You’ve thoughtfully chosen Adele’s Set Fire to the Rain for its steady tempo and dynamic changes. You’re pressing play on the PA system and... nothing. Cue Year 2 twirling like deranged Catherine wheels as you begin to croon cacophonously.
   
   
   
   
    
4. Joining in
   Your class are playing dodgeball, but you’ve had to join one of the teams to even them up a bit. You blow the whistle to signify the start of the game and immediately feel your competitive nature kick in. Next thing you know, every student is cowering the corner, intimidated by your signature move - The Ankle Stinger.
   
   
   
   
    
5. Forgetting about the hall’s many uses
   This half term, you’re teaching gymnastics. After 10 agonising minutes, your pupils are changed and traipsing to the school hall. Except you forgot to remind the caretaker you had a lesson after lunch annd he’s only just finished cleaning the floor... you pull up your socks and prepare to demonstrate speed skating. Without skates, ice or speed. 
   
   

Ben Burgess was talking to Nicola Davison. Ben is a primary school teacher and an ex-footballer who played for Hull City and Blackpool. He tweets @benkburgess.