It is fair to say that the coronavirus lockdown didn’t necessarily bring out the best in some of us.
And is it any wonder? We had the pressure of keeping our schools open for those who needed us, and then providing support for our school community. On top of that, many of us were working from home, were forced to adapt swiftly to unfamiliar technology and had to wrestle with life-and-death decisions on a daily basis as we tried to wrap our heads around living with a deadly virus.
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So it’s completely understandable if we sent a snappy email, got the wrong end of the stick or lost our cool.
The trouble is: we now have to face those colleagues, face-to-face. The lockdown and then the summer holidays likely meant you could avoid any repercussions of crossed words or the awkwardness of a staffroom encounter. Not any more - it’s time to face the music.
So here is my advice for facing that colleague you sent that offish email to back in June.
1. You can’t hide forever
You must fight the urge to avoid them. Tempting though it will be to adopt the mantra of “what happened in lockdown, stays in lockdown”, make sure you don’t fall into a habit of avoiding their eyes in the corridor.
Also, keep in mind facing them early on prevents the potential festering or worsening of the situation.
2. Use the ‘s’ word
Yes, definitely apologise, but consider the when and how.
Being stubborn in this situation won’t help - perhaps the fault really does lie entirely with them? Or perhaps, if you were to be truly honest with yourself, you MIGHT have got the wrong impression, and the tone of your response MIGHT have been a little frosty...
In either case, take a deep breath and apologise unreservedly, in person, in private, and as soon as possible to smooth the way for the rest of the school year.
3. Keep it professional
You must always raise future issues professionally. Teaching is already the battleground of the emotionally literate. Heated disagreements over pedagogy, logistics and wellbeing are inescapable in the uncertainty of September, and that colleague that manages to rub you up the wrong way even on a good day will continue to aggravate you.
So make sure you exploit the full benefit of being able to speak face-to-face, and bring up any disputes swiftly, wholeheartedly, and professionally
4. Least said, soonest mended
Keep your annoyance private. Whatever you do, resist the urge to share the gory details of your “spat” with anyone outside of your circle of trust.
When you are revelling being back face-to-face, and enjoying social time with your colleagues, don’t be tempted to disclose the ins and outs of your fallout. Instead, consider the personal and professional ramifications of your indiscretion.
5. We all could be a little more patient
Above all else, be mindful that everyone has had their own battles to fight.
Remember that everyone has struggled during lockdown, and that the best thing to do will be to smooth it over and move on. Your generosity of spirit will likely engender the same in your adversary - they will be more understanding than you think.
