Earlier this week, former Ofsted chief Sir Michael Wilshaw identified four types of “robot teacher” that he suggested “most of us” can recognise.

Having read through the list, I can’t say that that these caricatures reminded me of any teachers or leaders I have worked with. However, I would like to propose an alternative “robot teacher” that I feel Sir Michael overlooked - what I’m going to call the “typical teacher robot”. 

This robot begins functioning early in the morning, arriving at school well before most people have even left for work. Having gathered resources, prepared the classroom and attended a pre-school briefing, they stand at the door welcoming each child with a smile and a personal greeting.

Such robots have incredible memory capacity. They not only know all the children’s names, but they also know unique information about each individual young person which allows them to build a strong sense of rapport with their pupils.

The robot remembers to check how Jo’s ballet exam went and has a joke with Sam about the football result last night. 

The typical teacher robot then uses their impressive processing capacity to spend the morning engaged in countless micro-interactions with the children in their class. They notice the child who is quieter than normal and make discreet enquiries as to how they are feeling and whether there is anything on their mind.

‘No chance to recharge the batteries’

These robots are highly adaptable, knowing how best to respond to each unique pupil and their individual needs. 

If the dedicated robot teacher is very lucky, they may get a five-minute window for downtime during the middle of the day, but quite often there is no time for this, and the robot has to operate in the afternoon without having had the chance to fully recharge their batteries. 

Come 3.30pm, the typical teacher robot just has time for a quick phone call with a parent and a snatched conversation with colleagues before dashing off to take the school netball team to a fixture at a nearby school.

Having returned to school, the robot drives home, grabs a few hours with their robot family before embarking on an evening of marking and planning. 

Whilst there are all sorts of competing demands facing the typical teacher robot, they are basically programmed to be focused on just one thing - doing the best they possibly can for the children in their care. 

If anyone ever did design a robot that could do all this, I have a feeling they would become very rich indeed.

James Bowen is a former primary headteacher and now director of middle leaders’ union NAHT Edge. He tweets at @JamesJkbowen

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