My daughter in Year 6 survived her Sats. In fact, she spent most of the week gleeful at the extra treats, the extra sport and the drawing in the sunshine that the school put in place for the students as compensation.
And then she went to pieces during a rehearsal for the school play on Friday and has been sporadically tearful since.
Was it really about the “badger song”? I suspect there was a bit of displacement going on. The bottom line is that they’re old enough by Year 6 to know they’re being tested, compared with one another - that they needn’t worry, of course, but these little tests are merely to find out everything they know… no pressure, then.
For her, it’s all over now - from what I can gather, school will be a veritable jamboree of trips, visits and enrichment until the end of the year - and rightly so. They, and their teachers, have worked so hard.
For students taking GCSEs and A levels, the end still isn’t in sight. Teaching them has been an emotional roller coaster this year. As an English and French teacher, I’ve found myself consoling students over the apparent significance of carrots over potatoes in science and bemoaning the massive amount of exams, which takes the joy out of many of our creative subjects.
I offer the next pieces of advice to parents as a mother of younger children and as a teacher of two decades.
A Mars bar if you do - and a Mars bar if you don’t
I remember when I did my A levels having friends whose parents were offering cash rewards for every good grade. Fifty quid for an A, thirty for a B…you get the drift. I am forever grateful to my parents for never doing this. “You’ll get a Mars bar if you pass - and a Mars bar if you don’t,” I remember another friend’s parents saying. I’m not sure teenagers can be reminded enough that they are valued for so much more than their academic success - or otherwise.
Avoid comparing, focusing on the negatives
Teenagers can tear themselves in knots comparing themselves with one another. I recently took a moment to praise some of the students who did really well in their French speaking. One of the students I didn’t mention (not because she hadn’t done well but because I am careful to spread my praise around in the classroom) clearly sat on this for a week, before coming to me and asking me, “Was I that bad?”.
In a similar vein, if a child comes home with 9/10 in their spelling test, our first instinct can be to ask which one they got wrong. It’s important to avoid this, especially during periods of high stress when there are more exams on the horizon.
Remind them that once it’s done, it’s done
It is so tempting to go back over exams that have been sat, examining every answer and trying to pre-empt scores and grade boundaries. This one’s about letting go and controlling what you can - whether students feel they’ve triumphed or flopped, let each exam go once it passes. There’s nothing any of us can do once an exam has passed.
Worry about one thing at a time
It’s not uncommon these days to find teenagers crying in corners. When asked what’s bothering them, they can find this remarkably difficult to articulate: ‘It’s just everything! I’m going to let everyone down!’ It’s a fairly common cry. This is a truly overwhelming time for many young people. Encourage them to break it down - revising English is not a task! Writing a mind map on how Juliet changes in Romeo and Juliet is.
As teachers, we are sometimes guilty of showering students with useful resources, which, I suspect, often end up being used to line the cat litter - and not a lot else. One website, one piece of paper, one theme at a time is the way forward.
Remind them that we’re all on the same side
Ultimately, parents and teachers want the same thing. Yes, academic success is desirable, but we want our students to be happy and well-rounded individuals.
If this means wrenching them away from their revision and forcing them into the sunshine for a couple of hours, it’s worth it.
Enjoy it!
This one always sounds a bit odd, but actually, when you think about it, it makes sense. The vast majority of students have worked REALLY HARD for these exams. Remind your kids that the hour or two in the exam room is their chance to show off how brilliant they are.
It’s all about perspective, in the end. Whether we find it brutal or fair, few children will sail through every exam and the vast majority will have subjects they struggle with. Struggling is something we all do - and our challenges can make us stronger.
If all else fails, remind them that, once all this is over and before they embark on the next chapter, they have the longest summer holiday of their lives ahead of them.
And this, via Twitter, from @Ispynmci, is very, very wise:
“It’s just one step on the journey. You cannot fail life in these exams, just learn about yourself from them”
Emma Kell is a secondary teacher in north-east London and author of How to Survive in Teaching
