Behaviour or feelings? That dichotomy is at the centre of a growing debate: which one should schools focus on when children return? 

If pushed, most adults hold a view about which is most important in young people’s development. Yet science is providing insights into the long-term impacts of stress and trauma that make us reflect anew on beliefs we hold about how children thrive. 

I want to consider how the contrast between behaviour and feelings is being woven into the debate about schools’ return from lockdown. This matters, because the choices schools are making right now hold lifelong consequences for the children in their care.

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Long read: Do trauma-informed education strategies work?

The dichotomy is an ancient one. As educational campaigner David Cameron noted recently, much of modern Western culture has emerged out of the question of whether we should forgive or punish. It isn’t only schools affected by that legacy; so, too, is criminal justice. Kate Silverton demonstrated that vividly in her recent BBC Panorama special on youth violence, which explored whether justice might be better served by a more compassionate system. 

Coronavirus: The impact of lockdown on pupils

In schools’ policies for returning from lockdown, that dichotomy has emerged once again. Some commentators argue that it is crucial to create space for talking about feelings. They regard resilience as coming from children’s ability to be in touch with, and to manage, their emotions. They recognise that children are unable to do that without help, given that their emotional regulatory system is biologically immature. So they see it as their responsibility to boost trust in relationships. 

What does that look like in practice? The organisation Starcatchers has argued that a creative artist (puppeteer, musician, storyteller, dancer) should be in every school, because they are skilled in helping young people to express themselves. St Bride’s Primary in Cambuslang, near Glasgow, is making emotional-regulation sessions available to all children, staff and parents, under the guidance of acting depute head Deborah McAllister. The organisation Emotion Works has created new resources to support a ”recovery curriculum”. Portobello High School in Edinburgh, under head Ruth McKay, wants to offer every pupil a personal greeting into every class, thereby strengthening connections with teachers. Scottish education secretary John Swinney is working to have a mental health counsellor in every secondary school.

Some believe these priorities are misplaced, even harmful. They argue that what children need most are routine, behavioural boundaries and a sense of normality. Understanding what is expected of them - and the consequences when expectations are not met - brings clarity. A sense of calm and safety are seen as coming from those predictable external conditions.

Amy Forrester, director of pastoral care in Cockermouth School in Cumbria, illustrates this in a recent contribution to Tes, “Why children will need boundaries not hugs in September”. She argues that “focusing on wellbeing interventions is, at best, misguided and, at worst, dangerous. What children need after a time of significant disruption to their lives is normality…[not] a recovery curriculum”. Indeed, she worries that focusing on feelings risks ramping up young people’s anxiety: “If we put on endless amounts of PSHE (personal, social and health education) and constantly talk of the emotional toll of the pandemic…we will do more harm than good.”

Technically, Forrester is correct. If adults only talk about feelings, without helping young people learn to regulate feelings, it does create anxiety. But she is irritated by the debate: “The somewhat patronising assumption that we need further support with [pastoral issues] is, frankly, nonsense. This is in our blood. We know how to do our jobs.”

Tom Bennett, who advises the Westminster Department for Education on behaviour, holds a similar view. In advice on reopening schools during Covid-19, he states that “better behaviour is the beginning of everything”. He sees the challenges young people face coming not from a need to make sense of what has happened but from regaining “habits” that enable them to “flourish as learners”. He urges schools to double down on making expectations as clear and consistent as possible. This could include rewriting behaviour policies to clarify “severe” consequences for spitting, coughing, touching your face and failure to observe distancing measures. Bennett ends with the reminder that “a calm, safe, structured school culture is one of the best ways to reduce anxiety and promote good mental health”.

Those on both sides of the debate believe passionately they are helping young people to thrive, whether the emphasis is on feelings or behaviour. The science of childhood trauma reveals, however, that these aren’t equal choices.

Children who are taught to obey rather than trust grow up crippled in their ability to be emotionally resilient. Later in life, they find conflict difficult to manage; their capacity for empathy is constricted; they are at greater risk of shame and thus more easily resort to blame; they struggle in uncertainty because it triggers a sense of threat within the body’s stress system. 

The scientific evidence is clear: to truly thrive in life, you need to be able to trust others. Trust is not just attitudinal - it is a biological state. When your capacity for trust is fragile, your marriage suffers, your parenting suffers, your health suffers. 

Yes, routines, familiarity and predictability in schools provide a great start for creating calm. But calmness isn’t the point; even academic learning isn’t the point. Thriving is the point, and way too many children aren’t thriving at school right now.

Covid-19 has given us an opportunity to get curious about what else our children need from the educational system. Focusing on how we can get back to where we were before does not count as curiosity.

I believe that every adult who works with children has a moral responsibility to understand the science of trauma. Policies we devise right now will matter well past this autumn - they will shape the rest of our children’s lives.

Dr Suzanne Zeedyk is a developmental psychologist and founder of Connected Baby