The relationships I see develop between students in FE are fascinating. Variety replaces homogeneity in some unique ways that are a pleasure to watch.

However, there’s one universal concept that has derailed high-achievers and strugglers alike. It has left me in a quandary as to how to tackle it, because there’s not enough training in the world that can prepare you for the damage it leaves in its wake.

Some call it “love”. I call it a fully-fledged, guaranteed pain in the backside. A prospect killer.

What I have experienced of “love” between students in FE is a state that is, in the majority of cases, not a positive one. It results in a shift of priorities away from training that many can ill-afford.

Does this make me miserly in matters of the heart? It does and I’ll tell you why, before you start in on me about how love is a beautiful thing that lifts you up and all that other Boyzone tut.

An example from recent times: two sports studies students in same class. Both high achievers, on track to go onto their chosen profession. Love happens, then stops. Fallout from their break-up means they can no longer be in the same room together. Eventually both either leave or change course.

This style of writing, by the way, is probably the reason why I keep getting rejected by Mills & Boon and this occurrence is one in a long list of scuppered chances.

So what to do?

The impact of relationships

You can’t ban people falling in love. And short of some serious social conditioning and the use of laser walls, you’re not going to stop people from getting together.

But, at the risk of sounding like the baddie in a novel, love is something that must be dealt with. Or, at least recognised as a possible factor that may affect students and therefore should be addressed.

It’s not the relationships themselves that are the problem. It’s the reaction to those relationships that result in behaviour that, ultimately, can lead to some pretty poor decision making.

As ever, it’s up to us to steer our students into decisions that may be painful, but might help them in the long run. Perhaps develop their self-discipline in readiness for work. Try to teach them lessons like not skipping every single Wednesday session early because you can’t be without the love of your life for a couple of hours. How to make sure that a broken heart doesn’t end up turning into a broken education.

I am not exalting people to offer relationship advice. Student relationships are rarely our business. However, the consequences of those relationships can become our business and we can help with those.

For all you romantics out there, I’ve seen relationships that have been beneficial for those involved. But they are a much rarer occurrence.

So, love. I foresee it continuing to be an issue for me and mine. Until the advent of laser walls, that is.

Tom Starkey is a teacher, writer and consultant on education technology. He tweets @tstarkey1212