It is a magical moment. Your eyes meet theirs across the staffroom and you just know: this is going to be something special.

Dating in the workplace. Some strongly advise against it; others suggest we follow our hearts. So, should you ever date a teaching colleague?

Generally speaking, my answer to that question is: “Sure, why not?” Most teachers engaged in staffroom romances are quite skilled at following the unwritten rules of workplace dating. As long as they don’t act like a couple at work and behave appropriately, where’s the harm?

This usually holds true as long as the relationship is working. It’s when the relationship falls apart that problems start to occur; that’s when all those unwritten rules seem to fly out the window. People who have both witnessed and experienced this will tell you in no uncertain terms: it’s not a pretty sight. 

So, if you are considering taking the plunge with that special someone, here are some things to consider before you do.

How will you cope if the ship sinks?

Love is a many-splendoured thing. Those under its influence are likely to find themselves repeatedly checking their phones, smiling for no explainable reason and being overcome with sudden urges to just, you know, be nice to people! Of course, this is all well and good until the end of your romance causes you to behave in the opposite way.

Before embarking on this ship, you must ask yourself: how will I cope if it sinks? Can you handle seeing your ex every day? Would the combination of work and emotional stress inhibit your teaching? Would you go into cardiac arrest if you found out they had started dating another colleague?

Then, there’s also the small matter of staffroom gossip to consider. We British love a gossip, we can’t get enough of it. Paradoxically, though, most of us do not want to be at the centre of it.

Colleagues fishing for gossip about your relationship might be easy to brush off with a coy smile while things are going well, but how will you respond when they ask you why things ended? Nobody wants to be like Ross from Friends, repeatedly justifying to others that you “were on a break”. Besides, teaching an observation lesson when you have just found out that you are being bad-mouthed all over both staffrooms and the smokers’ area isn’t something anyone would look forward to.

Minimise the drama

If you are someone with less emotional control than you’d like, or someone who is sensitive to being thrown into the rumour mill, it may be better that you protect yourself professionally and follow the age-old advice on dating at work: don’t do it.

Ultimately, though, the choice is yours. There are plenty of teachers who meet, marry, and continue healthy relationships at school, often until retirement.

Just remember: ours is already an emotionally laborious profession. For the sake of your wellbeing, it pays to keep the romantic drama to a minimum.

Omar Akbar is a science teacher and author of The (Un)official Teacher’s Manual: What they don’t teach you at training college