Unlike my day when sex education came via Playboy magazine and other kids on the block, most teens and even pre-teens today get most of their real sex education watching Internet pornography. According to a U.S. department of justice report “never before has so much indecent material been so easily accessible to so many minors”.
While schools do a good job blocking adult sites, many parents do not and kids are skilled at working around blocking software. They can also access porn on their smart phones just about anywhere.
Young people who try to copy what they see on the internet put themselves at risk. In the past, when new sources of risk such as drugs or sexually transmitted diseases entered our culture, teachers were quick to add warnings to their lesson plans due to their concern and feeling of responsibility for their students.
Sadly, this doesn’t seem to be happening with pornography. The bottom line is that while it might be difficult to talk about, teachers must not run away from discussing porn be it via the internet or other sources. This topic would fit naturally into health classes in middle school and high school along with current sex education and warnings about other risky behaviors. It could come up in others classes as well so all teachers should be ready.
Start by letting students know that interest in this material is normal. Lack of interest is also normal. If you have watched it, you are not a pervert and should not feel guilty. Let them know that research indicates that some students in the class have seen it and some haven’t, and that they shouldn’t be judged by which group they are in.
Discuss that these videos feature actors rather than people in love who are making love. Note that some of the material contains acts that can be dangerous.
Talk about consent. When a partner says no, respect it. Make them aware that making their own videos of under aged friends can result in arrest for making and possessing child pornography.
While the life of a porn star may seem glamorous to some young people, they are much more likely to abuse drugs, contract sexually transmitted diseases, and earn little money in the long run. Discuss the realities with your class.
Such conversations should happen after you get to know your students so your own knowledge and judgment can - of course - come into play.
Prior to broaching this topic, some parent outreach should occur. I recommend that the district form a committee to determine how and where these conversations should fit into the curriculum. Try to have several parents on this committee. Having parent involvement should help if other parents complain.
Be sure to let all parents know the main principals you will touch on. Also encourage them to have similar conversations at home and to encourage honesty and lack of consequences.
If you inform all parents ahead of time, you can also give them the choice to opt their kids out of these lessons. If your school isn’t ready for such conversations in the classroom, it must at least try to get the parents started.
If like most schools, leadership is looking the other way in regard to this topic, do what you can to get the conversation started. This is not a conversation that teachers should be running away from.
Further reading:
Covenant Eyes. Pornography Statistics 250+ facts, quotes, and statistics about pornography use (2015 Edition) http://bit.ly/29y52NE
Gilkerson, Luke. Teens and Porn: 10 Stats You Need to Know, Convenient Eyes, August 19, 2010 http://bit.ly/1IkJSiz
Zimmerman, Jonathan. Too Hot To Handle: A Global History of Sex Education, Princeton University Press: Princeton, NJ, 2015.
Douglas Green is a former school principal, administrator and university lecturer, who runs the www.drdrouggreen.com website and can be found tweeting at @drdouggreen
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