a 42 b 16, with two peanuts remaining c The smallest squirrel finished first d Dunno, but I think there’s a pie in it somewhere 2 Research shows there is no benefit in single-sex education for girls.

What do the girls say?

a At least we’re not pregnant b Boys are so badly behaved. I like boys c Double-sex education sounds good to me d I love the smell of testosterone in the morning 3 The Bank of England governor is urging young people to take cricketers as role models. What do children say?

a Suddenly I want to stand in a field for five days b You work like stink and what do you get? A little urn full of ashes c I want to be governor of the Bank of England when I grow up d I love the smell of linseed oil in the morning 4 A primary school in Kent has banned paper planes as dangerous. What do the children say?

a I’ve got a sheet of A4 and I’m not afraid to use it b This is Kent. This is a Spitfire. Of course it’s dangerous c I want to be an air-traffic controller when I grow up d I love the smell of fear in the morning 5 A dangerous porcupine called Twinkle has escaped in Cumbria. What do the locals say?

a You’re making this up, aren’t you?

b It must be summer c Ouch!

d I love the smell of baked porcupine in the morning

Answers

1c, 2d, 3b, 4a, 5a