a Mend a fuse

b Rent a cottage on the Isle of Wight

c Dig the garden

d Go for a ride

2 Edexcel is to use a computer to scan coursework for cheating. What will the students do?

a Hack into it

b Blow its fuse

c Take it for a ride

d All of the above

3 An expert says boys should do housework to develop a work ethic. What will they do?

a Mend a fuse

b Dig the garden

c Ponce around in pinnies

d Demonstrate complete incompetence, and never be let near a vacuum cleaner ever again

4 Research shows that private-school students get most of the top jobs.

What do state-school teachers say?

a Suddenly, everything makes sense

b I knew teaching this lot was a waste of time

c I bet they don’t do their own housework

d The rich kid in the boardroom, the poor kid at his gate

5 Torquay Council has declared the town’s palm trees a health hazard. What do we deduce?

a Torquay Council has blown a fuse

b It’s horticultural correctness gone mad

c Torquay is for wimps

d Basil Fawlty is alive and well

Answers

1c, 2d, 3d, 4b, 5b.