The preparations for September are slowly coming together: hopefully, you have your timetable, your classes, instructions for September Inset days. The last thing to get ready is…you.

There are few other professions quite like teaching. Where else do run into the likelihood of having a child’s mucus on your shirt? PVA glue in your hair? Or no shops for miles around to purchase necessities? And the lost-property box just won’t suffice. 

Teaching is unique in its trials and tribulations. You rarely arrive home looking the same as when you left. And, unlike other jobs, if a problem crops up with your outfit, supplies or lunch, there is rarely the time or facility to solve it. 

I have seen buttons pop, zips break, tights rip, shoes rub, lunch explode, and accidents happen, which have left colleagues red-faced, in pain and downright miserable. Hardly the best way to spend your teaching day, is it?

The best-laid plans seem to go adrift, and the school day will inevitably throw surprises your way. So, to preserve your pride and keep you going, having an emergency kit is essential.

Sewing kit or safety pins

Let’s say, many of us might have overindulged during lockdown. Working from home has meant that the biscuit cupboard has been in far too easy reach. It’s not unreasonable to think that our clothes might be a bit snugger than they were in March. 

With the moving from room to room, or sitting on the floor with little ones, it’s not beyond the imagination to suspect that…accidents might happen. 

In fairness, they happened even before the increase in waist size. I vividly remember one colleague reaching to get a cup in our office, to the sound of a very loud rip. A tear had spread right along the seam, exposing a little too much. We’ve all been there.

On this occasion, a sewing kit was rapidly deployed, and the afternoon continued without incident, except for a few wry smiles between friends. 

I’ve also been graced with the presence of a torn skirt seam, in my case just as I was about to sit down in an important meeting. No time for the sewing kit then, but safety pins ensured that I emerged with dignity intact. 

Plasters

It might not just be your clothes that catch you out. Let me set the scene. You have a lovely new pair of shoes, you are on break duty, you walk with confidence, you’ve got this…until…your shiny new shoes slip on a slope, and you come crashing to the ground in a playground full of students, landing knee-first, like an extra in Bolero. All in your first week at your new school. 

This is when your secret stash comes into its own: an assortment of plasters to cover the offending graze. Of course, your injury need not be as extreme as this: a blister on your heel or a paper cut can be just as debilitating. So always have your plasters to hand. Not those patterned ones though - they never last.

Emergency chocolate

Your clothes are holding together, your injuries are fixed, so what is that noise? It’s the rumbling of your stomach, yearning to be fed. Between running around from lesson to lesson, phone calls and photocopying, you’re fast running out of energy.

The only thing that will save you now is your secret stash of calories, normally in chocolate form. Perfect for a quick breaktime snack, for afternoons following a forgotten lunch, or to power you through an afterschool meeting. Chocolate will always have your back. 

Throat soothers

The sore throat - an occupational hazard in teaching - always seems to strike midway through the term. 

Every word leaving your mouth is covered in barbed wire. You feel it coming on midway through the morning: the cracks in your voice, the unusual deep notes followed by the high squeaks. Here we go again. Reach in that drawer, retrieve your throat soothers and let the honey goodness comfort you. 

Toothbrush

You’ve fuelled yourself through the day, powered by caffeine. Your thermal cup is rarely out of reach. It’s your signature accessory. 

However, those caffeinated drinks leave their mark. Not (always) because of a spillage - but on what you exhale. Have a toothbrush and toothpaste handy, to freshen your breath, and avoid those aversive looks from classes and colleagues alike.

Plus, it will make your smile sparkle, which is important. As we all know, smiling before Christmas is necessary. 

Louise Lewis is a research lead and deputy head of science in a Yorkshire secondary school. She tweets @MissLLewis