Triton is sharp of mind, sharp of tongue and blunt when airing his opinions. So when Jake assures us that his dad does have “a red Ferrari what does 200 miles an hour”, it comes as no surprise to see Triton take issue with him and call him a big fat liar. Apparently, he’s been to Jake’s house and his dad’s car is a grey Vauxhall Astra Estate. Jake strongly disagrees with this so, to avoid a head-on collision and road rage, I suspend the game and recap the rules.
We are playing Truth or Lie. It is based on the popular television panel show, Would I Lie To You. In our version, the children sit in a circle and take it in turns to tell the group an interesting fact about themselves. The group then has three minutes to work out whether it’s the truth or a lie. It’s best if I model the activity first, so I begin by saying, “I once woke up a five-year-old to show me how to work a TV set.”
With the timer set, the children start to ask me questions. Giselle finds out that I was babysitting in someone else’s house. Daniel establishes that there were three unfamiliar remote controls in the room. Zac recalls my lack of technical expertise vis-à-vis tablet computers and electronic registers. When the timer pings, the children unanimously agree that I was telling the truth. And of course they are right, but in hindsight I should have started with a lie. Now everyone insists on telling a truth.
Some of these truths are well known and much publicised. “It’s true that my dad lives in Doncaster prison,” says Karl. “It’s true that I went to Disney World in Florida,” says Shantelle. “It’s true that my mum had a boob job for her birthday,” says Clarissa.
Alternative facts
Other truths are less well known and slightly disturbing. “It’s true that I’ve got a brother and two sisters that I’ve never seen,” says Janine. “It’s true that my dad lets me play Call of Duty: Black Ops on his Xbox,” says Neon. “It’s true that my Uncle Jack killed himself,” says Marty.
But as the game goes on, it gets more competitive. Suddenly every truth is more amazing (and less plausible) than the last one. “It’s true that my dad is an astronaut,” says Jaime. And just when the boundaries of Triton’s credibility reach their absolute limit, Jake’s dad screeches into the stadium of honesty in his Ferrari and shunts him over the edge.
“Before we carry on playing Truth or Lie,” I say to the children, “I want to remind you all that lying is part of the game. It’s OK to tell a lie, and it’s OK to admit that it’s a lie.”
There is a pause while they process this new information. Then, because I forgot to mention it should be a believable lie, William tells us about the time he killed a Tyrannosaurus rex with a lightsaber.
“This game is doing my head in,” says Triton.
“Me too,” I reply.
Steve Eddison teaches at Arbourthorne Community Primary School in Sheffield
