All seems well until you notice classes quietly filing their way past, looking suspiciously like they are on their way to the hall.

The child in your class who always knows before you do what you are supposed to be doing notices your confusion and reminds you that, yes, it is assembly now. And that, in fact, it is your turn to lead it.

But you’re not fazed, you’re a professional - therefore you can wing this.

So you grab the nearest book off the shelf, an acknowledged classic in Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. Check you out - you’re bringing the cultural knowledge like a pro.

The gathered mass is silent as you begin. The pupils are in the palm of your hand as you bring to life the words on the page.

Except that what you are bringing to life is an inappropriately graphic description of the decapitation and dismembering of Ali Baba’s brother and the subsequent plan to sew his body back together. You’re stuttering, pausing, flicking ahead, changing words, summarising, changing the plot - it’s so bad that you have completely confused yourself and the pupils, so you awkwardly just end the story and the assembly, much to the relief of one mortified class teacher.

We’ve all been there, right? Right?

I learned from this, dear reader. I became a better, more prepared assembly leader. And these are my go-to tips:

• Use your voice. Changes in volume, pace and pitch are helpful. If you are going to do character voices, consider if you can keep these up throughout. Some people are amazing at this; others have a habit of slipping into Welsh/West Country after the first few lines.
• Eye contact. Eyes are so expressive. Widened, narrowed, closed and, my favourite, rolled, can bring a story to life.
• Body language. A flourish of the arm is great, but don’t feel you need to become a mime artist. Some stories lend themselves to getting pupils to join in.
• Audience participation. Repetition of phrases that the pupils can join in with is perfect for this. I like to get them to show me facial expressions, too - especially for vocabulary on feelings that they may not have come across before.
• If it is a picture book, make sure the pupils can see it. This is easier with a class rather than the whole school, but technology is your friend here. Visualisers and projectors come into their own when looking at detail.
• Think through where you are going to pause in the story. This is not just for questioning but also for dramatic effect. A cliffhanger at the end of the school day is irresistible. Leave them wanting more.
• Make an informed choice of the book you are going to read. Consider not just the language of the book, but also the emotional development of the pupils you are reading to. You know your pupils best, and may need to consider their own personal circumstances. If you know a pupil has suffered a recent bereavement and you are reading about death, consider how you are going to handle that.
• Choose a book that you enjoy. If you love it, you’re more likely to put enthusiasm into it.

Ruth Luzmore is headteacher at St Mary Magdalene Academy. She tweets @RLuzmore

This article originally appeared in the 15 May 2020 issue under the headline “Don’t risk a boo-boo with Baba: prepare your assembly”