It was my first meeting back. The sea of faces looking at me seemed so alien, and I felt that my words were falling on deaf ears. The team I had left was so open, so receptive, so united. The team I had returned to felt different: not as trusting, almost distant and definitely not as enamoured with me as I once felt they were.

There had been a few changes in personnel during the year I had been away, but this wasn’t a critical mass that would have such an impact on the team dynamic. I started to question, “Is it them or is it me?”

I have since found out that the above experience is common to those school leaders who return after being seconded elsewhere. In a school, we change all the time: an inspirational lesson can give us new ideas to test or share, a challenging conversation with a parent or colleague can teach us new ways of resolving conflict, a strategy not working can enable us to reflect and learn from our mistakes. Every day, incremental changes in practice are made.

The mistake of the returning seconded leader is to forget that all this change has taken place without us, that things have not stayed frozen as we left them. If we are to successfully transition back into our “home” school, we need to avoid this error and focus on strategies to overcome the challenges.

The mistake is to forget that things have not stayed frozen as we left them

The first point to recognise is that you will have changed. At our school, secondments among the senior leadership team are encouraged. A secondment develops people’s skills, knowledge and understanding, and it can put them in a stronger position for promotion or help them to decide the next steps for their career. With the gradual switch to a school-led system, where the presence of multi-academy trusts is increasing the sharing of personnel as well as resources, these opportunities are becoming more prevalent and easier to arrange.

My time away enabled me to hone my post-16 skills. I was able to get to grips with the new key stage 5 funding formula and post-16 curriculum reforms in a practical way, as well as learning from new colleagues in a different team. On a personal level, it gave me renewed energy, enthusiasm and creativity from which to develop strategies and plans. It also enabled me to review from a distance the strengths I had and areas that I needed to develop in my former role.

Coming back into your school with all these ideas and expecting others to simply share your enthusiasm without having had the same experience - or dumping all these ideas on staff at once - can be a recipe for disaster, as it can breed resentment. And there is plenty of scope for miscommunication.

These feelings can go in the other direction, too. The reality was that the team had been led for a year by someone else, who differed in terms of skills, experiences, leadership style and the goals that they wanted to achieve. The team had spent a year adapting to this other leader, and had developed in new ways. That can be jarring for the person who was seconded. More arresting is the realisation that (sharp intake of breath) your colleagues may have preferred the other person’s leadership style to yours.

As a returning leader, you have to take all this into consideration and plan your transition back into the school properly. It is not like jumping on a bike and carrying on where you left off when you last rode it. You have to relearn how to ride it. My transition plan was based on four key stages.

1. The message

It is crucial to remind the team who you are and what you stand for. This requires deliberate and consistent messaging. Every week in my briefing notes, I included quotes and images about pedagogy from inspirational educators and leaders that chimed with my philosophy in order to promote the core purpose I wanted the school to have: one based on social justice and improving outcomes for all. A one-off session is simply not enough.

2. Lose your ego

It is not all about you - for a year it was all about someone else! Learn from your predecessor. When anyone comes into a role, they will make changes, have new ideas, develop new strategies and do a range of things better than you. I took time to find out from my colleagues and students what had worked well, what the team liked and what the students had responded to. I made sure that I continued with these ideas.

3. Love-bomb everyone

You need to let your team know that they mean something to you, and that you have not abandoned them. Remind them of their value and how you appreciate each and every one of them. In person, in meetings, through emails and cards, show them that you care.

4. Be accountable

As a leader, the bottom line is: if something feels wrong, or doesn’t work, it always comes down to how you are leading that team. Be reflective, look at what you as an individual can work on and always start by thinking, “It’s not them, it’s me.”

Ruth Golding is head of Tenzing School at Tor Bridge High in Plymouth @LearnerLedLdr