Here are five signs that, like me, you used to work somewhere that was judged “inadequate” by Ofsted:

You pile exercise books in order from best to worst

“Ah, Jamie, excellent work today.” That’s one for the top. “Hmm, Kelly, couldn’t you have told me you didn’t have a pen 90 minutes ago?” Bottom. This habit stems from the fear of a clandestine work scrutiny.

Your seating plan is impenetrable

Generally, a lazy observer will sit in the most obvious space available, so when you enter the classroom of someone with the strategic-seating-plan habit, the desk nearest the door will have a tempting empty seat and one improbably articulate student.

You write down the feedback you’re saying out loud

I take a student’s book, read their work, and then tell them how to improve it. I then take five times as long writing the exact same thing in their margin. If I don’t, nobody will know I’ve given that feedback.

You are unduly cynical

You’ll be used to brand new, whole-school initiatives every half term that promise to turn everything around.

Data is completely fictional

“Inadequate” schools and colleges are usually so in thrall to spreadsheets of data that they forget to check whether any of it is actually meaningful.

Andrew Otty leads 16-19 English in an FE college