Something truly shocking occurred to me the other day - we have reached and passed the halfway point of the academic year. How has this happened? In truth, I don’t know. I’m not sure how. At all. I was absolutely certain it was 25 September and equally sure it must now be June.
To find out how we got here, I decided to look back through my diary of the year so far.
August
Contrary to reports, most teachers and leaders in schools and colleges spend a good portion of August trying to figure out what September will look like. Hopes of “back to normal” (as promised by a colleague after being allowed in pubs in July) seemingly dashed. Staggered starts, hybrid timetables and “bubbles” created. Everyone reviews schemes of work and planning created in June and July.
No one knows how long this will last, or how long any of the planning will remain relevant.
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September
Majority of planning redundant on day two. Schools and colleges sort of return. Staggered starts, hybrid timetables and bubbles seem to be working. Colleagues remain excited to receive raft of laptops and new tech for students.
Now regretting spending entirety of savings on shares in Andrex and Cushelle. Still no bids on the 125kg of pasta and flour on eBay.
October
Tier system introduced in the UK. I make a hilarious joke about hoping Tier 3 was “the chocolate one”. No one in household laughs. Rang three friends to tell them: two asked me not to ring again for a while, one did not pick up.
PM announces a second national lockdown. Father-in-law calls wife to ask how I am enjoying all of the time off as a teacher. Father-in-law now “really enjoying” sixth month of furlough.
November
Return to a strict, strict diet of first national lockdown. Wife assures me home-made pizza is a perfectly fine substitute for breakfast. I call family meeting to debate replacing the washing machine as all clothes are apparently slowly shrinking, culminating in buttons flying from shirts.
Wife and daughter add “pizza eating” and “concerns over pizza eating” to the agenda. Not sure what this relates to.
December
Pizza eating has continued. Now concerned front window will need to be removed if I ever want to exit the house. Ring friend who comforts and confirms a six-pack can be achieved with two to three days hard work. Reminisced on hilarity of cake/ tier joke, but he said he had to go as had an incoming call.
Exams and a “normal” Christmas definitely happening according to government.
Christmas then not quite happening as normal (then happening as normal, then very much not).
All teachers collapse and sleep from 19-30 December.
January
Longest month in recorded history. Stopped counting days after day 412.
In homage to Bullseye, students asked to attend school for one day on Monday 4 January so they can see “what you could have won”. Teachers everywhere gutted not to be rewarded with a speedboat or £250 clothes voucher for Binns.
Teachers somehow refocus and redouble efforts and develop yet another fully online curriculum with 12 hours’ notice. No one quite sure how this is being done, but everyone remains amazed.
February
Exams definitely not happening. Not much detail released, but only 114 working days until the final deadline, so sure it will all be fine.
Wife and I reminisce about a trip to Barnard Castle last year. I thought we saw someone famous off the TV in a local park. Couldn’t quite make him out. Both decided to get eyes tested. Drive home uneventful. A great day.
March
Returned to face-to-face teaching. Entire first day taken up with tutorial to address student inability to use knives and forks. Students showed obvious progress during dinner time, but concerns they may lose these gains, so have planned half-term suite of low stakes quizzes around cutlery.
