It’s April already. With the Easter holidays upon us and lockdown easing, what are your plans for the seasonal break? 

You know the drill: complete my simple - and very scientifically devised - quiz to categorise your experience over the coming week.

Covid and schools: how relaxed will your Easter break be? 

1. The current schedule suggests that hairdressers and beauticians will be open for business again. How does that fit in with your plans?

a) I’ve booked a three-day pamper session: manicure, pedicure, massage, lip, brow, chin and full body wax - I’ll be dolphin-smooth from the eyes down - plus a haircut, colour and deep condition. You won’t bloody recognise me by Thursday.

b) My lovely hairdresser has squeezed me in for a trim before we go back to work. I hope he’s not too horrified by my split ends.

c) I’ve left it too late; I can’t get an appointment until August, so it’s back to nail scissors and bandanas. 

2. The weather forecast looks great, but we still can’t go far. How are you coping with that?

a) The garden nook with built-in barbecue we made last year from reconditioned brick and railway sleepers will be ideal for socially distanced al-fresco entertainment. The freesias may be past their best by then but the apple tree will be in full bloom.

b) Lots of countryside walks with the dogs, I hope.

c) I’ve been sorting out the shed, but something critical has broken off the lawnmower and the nettles are waist high. Still, once I’ve fixed the rotary airer, it’ll be nice to hang a wash out to dry.

3. Are you ready for the reopening of gyms?

a) The pilates machine we installed during the first lockdown was a great investment. As I jog between bubbles, making Covid restrictions a plus rather than a chore, I’ve averaged 16,000 steps a day and my resting heart rate is down to 47. So - apart from the steam room and the friendly competition - I haven’t actually missed the gym much.

b) Can’t wait. I’ve been keeping up with classes on Zoom using my terrier as a kettlebell, but it’s not the same. It’ll be great to get back to the gym.

c) One of my teenage sons improvised a lockdown weights programme in the garden - in the living room when it rains - with a tractor tyre and a two pickaxe handles. While he’s at the gym, it’ll be a case of kettle on, feet up and two solid hours of something on Amazon that isn’t set in the Marvel universe. 

4. What about food at Easter?

a) The true joy of lockdown for me has been the availability of online courses I’d never usually be able to access. I’ve been studying under an award-winning chocolatier, and I’m sculpting a Gaudi-themed homage in chocolate to my favourite city - Barcelona - until we can visit again in real life. I should also have time to make hot-cross buns and homemade marzipan for a traditional Simnel cake, too.

b) Easter Sunday lunch will be roast lamb with garlic and rosemary, fresh peas with spring onions, lettuce and crushed new potatoes, and maybe a chocolate trifle. 

c) This year, if I can prevent the dog from getting hold of the kids’ stash of Easter eggs on Good Friday and vomiting on the landing in the early hours of Easter Saturday, I’ll consider that a win.

5. What about work over the Easter break? 

a) I never stop working. I keep a notebook on my bedside table so I can scribble down ideas about teaching and learning as they come to me in the night. I’ll be rereading the letters of Chinua Achebe to enhance my subject knowledge, and in my 6am-8am holiday work slot, devising a post-pandemic curriculum for key stage 3, which hones the skills of independent learning acquired over the past year but celebrates low-tech holistic teacher-pupil interaction. 

b) Our senior leadership team has told us to take a break. I might just go through my Year 11 spreadsheet the night before we go back, but that’ll be it for the fortnight.

c) I’ll ferry three bags for life of marking from the car to the hall during the first week and try to ignore them every time I go through the front door. During the second week, when everyone in the family has tripped over them, I’ll shift the lot into the dining room. And on the final day of the holiday, once I’ve cleaned the house from top to bottom - including behind the fridge - and sit down to power through it all, I’ll realise I’ve left my laptop charger at work and can’t find the mark scheme or input the data. I’ll panic a bit, phone round to see if anyone has a spare charger, finally admit defeat and guiltily watch Line of Duty while the marking seethes at me from the far end of the room. After a restless night broken by nightmares - where an Ofsted inspector dressed as the childcatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang throws me down a well in a new, more stringent category of “inadequate” - I’ll get it done in a oner on the first day back. 

Tot up your scores

Mostly a) Gosh. I’d like to say I admire your energy, enthusiasm and sheer dedication to the power of education…but I’m not sure I have the words.

Mostly b) Your well-balanced approach is healthy and sound. Enjoy the trim, the gym and your delicious-sounding Easter dinner, and return to work refreshed. 

Mostly c) There’s nothing a little planning ahead won’t solve. Ring the hairdresser now - yes, NOW - tackle that marking 10 books at a time, and get that hulking weightlifter to tear himself from the fifth rewatching of Avengers Endgame so he can mend the lawnmower and mow the lawn. Enjoy the sunshine!

Sarah Ledger is an English teacher and director of learning for Year 11 at William Howard School in Brampton, Cumbria. She has been teaching for 34 years