“Excuse me girls? That’s quite enough. I’m actually teaching a lesson in there, and all we can hear is screaming, and giggling...what’s going on please?”
It’s fair to say teachers have their own, finely polished language, honed through many years in the classroom, the cadences of which will ring a bell for any teacher, or, indeed, former pupil.
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Old chestnuts such as “It’s not my time you’re wasting, it’s yours,” “I’ve already got my GCSE” and “I’ll just wait for you to finish your conversation, shall I?” have all stood the test of time for generations of pupils.
But the quote above is from one of TikTok’s most successful teacher impersonators. Monica Geldart has gained over 800,000 followers for her astutely observed skits of typical teacher behaviour, with one teacher describing them as “so accurate it hurts”.
So accurate it hurts ??? https://t.co/FWkpvEfBWP
- Nikki (@Nikki_rose7) May 26, 2021
From the PE teacher who wants to make a “little announcement” before assembly ends to “my netball girls” to the teacher in the staffroom who cocks an eyebrow commenting on how “interesting” it is that the head hasn’t made it yet, as observational comedy goes, it is scarily accurate.
The PE teacher that’s only interested in the ‘popular sporty girls’ makes assembly announcement pic.twitter.com/ntCpOUGxKQ
- Monica Geldart (@Monica_Geldart) April 8, 2021
Teachers in a staff meeting pic.twitter.com/lMDX202GGD
- Monica Geldart (@Monica_Geldart) May 17, 2021
Ms Geldart used her working life in a school as inspiration, but she is not alone in lampooning the staffroom.
Stateside, TikTok user mfaz has also posted gems such as “teacher on the bus” (“Ladies, six to a seat. I don’t care if you’re uncomfortable”) or English teachers responding to an answer that’s really not quite there (“you’re close, but you need to piggyback off what she said”).
@hooodjabi
kids in the back always turning up ???##fyp ##foryoupage ##viralvideo ##viralvideo ##4u ##4upage ##4you ##pov
♬ original sound - mfaz✨
@hooodjabi
back to my teacher vids ? ##foryou ##fyp ##foryoupage ##viral ##viralvideo ##4u ##4youpage ##pov ##WhatILearned
♬ original sound - mfaz✨
Or there is also Mark Gaetano’s recognisable finger wag as a teacher ticking off pupils for talking.
@snarkymarky
POV: the teacher catches you talking during morning prayer
♬ original sound - mark
Imitation, as they say, is the best form of flattery, and in the case of these skits, it’s a reminder that pupils in class are often paying far more attention than you think.