A parent recently complained that her daughter was being made to feel inferior because the blazer she was expected to wear was “less academic” than those worn by some of her classmates. In this particular school, and some others, senior pupils who perform well in their exams are allowed to wear special braids on the edges of their blazers, while those with less impressive results are denied the braids.

The complaint is similar to the one made earlier this year at the University of Oxford, where students taking key exams are expected to wear academic gowns. Those who achieved distinction in previous exams are allowed to wear long-sleeve gowns, others must wear sleeveless gowns. Several students argued that the tradition is outdated and made them feel inferior and denting their confidence, particularly while taking exams.

Before that, we’ve seen stories of parents complaining that competition on the school sports field and in the classroom was demotivating some younger pupils. Then there were the parents in California who complained that it was wrong for their children’s primary school to allow some pupils to receive Valentine’s Day cards while others didn’t receive any.

In all these cases, and many others, the parents were quickly criticised for being oversensitive, whiny and, in some cases, for wasting valuable time with trivial complaints. But were the points they raised given due consideration?

Community and inclusion

The Scottish school robustly defended its tradition of merit-braids by stating that they provided recognition of pupils’ hard work and achievements. Yet a key objective of any school is to try and instil ideals of community and inclusion. Pupils who achieve success have the right to be proud of their accomplishments, but is it necessary to display - or perhaps even flaunt - these accomplishments to everyone else?

Identifying and grouping pupils according to ability is, after all, generally shunned in Scotland, because it makes those who don’t make it into the elite groups feel marginalised, excluded or, at the very least, “second best”.

In the case of competition among children in primary school, should the complaining parents not be credited, rather than castigated, for seeking to avoid promoting the idea of winners and losers to our most impressionable pupils? And the parents in California should, at the very least, be commended for recognising the genuine feelings of marginalisation that arise with seemingly trivial things like not receiving cards on Valentine’s Day.

It is too easy to dismiss, criticise and ridicule those who seek to eliminate the disappointments of young people who don’t receive merit-braids, winners’ medals and Valentine cards. It is considerably more difficult for parents or teachers to speak out against suspect traditions without, themselves, becoming objects of ridicule and abuse.

John Greenlees is a secondary teacher in Scotland