In an effort to keep up with changes from the Department for Education, I subscribe to updates from its website. During half-term, I received no fewer than 65 emails. In among all the usual bumph of statistics and specifications, one jumped out at me: “What schools must publish online.”

These school web pages are the bane of my life. Thankfully, this particular change was a minor tweak, but like heads everywhere, I’m reminded that it’s not enough to run a good school and educate children well. We must also publish umpteen documents, never to be read, but to be closely scrutinised by Ofsted.

Is anyone paying any attention to anything but the most-likely-to-be-inspected elements? I’ve never had a parent ask me about how we spend our PE and sport premium, but publish a report we must.

Parents, quite rightly, aren’t usually interested in how Year 7 catch-up funding was spent, or what the average score was for Year 6 pupils in the reading test. They want to see how the school will support their children to achieve and enjoy life.

Some of the requirements are bizarre. We have to publish the name of the person who deals with queries from parents and the public. What does that even mean? In some schools, there might be a whole team of people who answer telephones or email queries. Does everyone’s name need to be published?

Anyway, I can’t carry on here - I’m off to check how many Year 6s can swim so I can publish it online for no one to look at.

Michael Tidd is headteacher at Medmerry Primary School in West Sussex