One of the most effective classroom tools is the mighty teacher voice (followed closely by the deadly teacher stare). It’s a skill that’s always been important to develop and hone, but now, when suddenly thrust into the world of remote learning, it’s more important than ever.

It’s something that takes practice. Learning to use one’s voice to best effect is “like learning to play an instrument”, says Lesley Hendy, co-author of The 5 Voices, an educational programme for initial teacher training. Everyone has an optimum pitch, a note in their voice that is their strongest and clearest, that makes their voice distinctive, and it is finding this, whatever the accent or register, that is key, she says.

Some people have to work on getting the right tone and intonation for years, but for others it comes more easily, if sometimes inappropriately. A friend who does a pretty important job complains that he spends his life constantly reminding his teacher wife that he is not 10 and he is not in her class.

But it’s understandable that when you’ve spent years honing a voice that instantly commands attention, you would want to use it wherever you can, even if it is in the supermarket checkout queue or telling people off for running by the pool on holiday.

Of course, when people don’t like the message, the tone the message was delivered in is the first target. And for women, that accusation of missing the right pitch comes more than for men.

Last week, when Rosena Allin-Khan, shadow mental health minister, rose to tell health secretary Matt Hancock that the government’s failures were contributing to a greater loss of life and asked for answers on its testing strategy - as an A&E doctor and intensive care specialist, she is on the front line - it was her “tone” to which Hancock objected.

What he was really objecting to was the fact that she, a confident woman in a position of knowledge, was asking him, a man, a very good question that he could not answer adequately.

Complaining about tone is an age-old method of putting an uppity woman in her place. But I suppose at least we should all be grateful that he didn’t storm out in a huff like a certain US president did this week after being quizzed by two female reporters.

Women are still expected to act in a discreet, soft and feminine way. Speaking assertively and knowledgeably is considered a male preserve and women venture into it at their peril.

Schools are not immune. A female teacher’s voice is very effective in class - they can be confident in getting people’s attention. But in a different setting, it can work against them.

Interviews for headship are a case in point, where chairs of governors are often male and can be from male-dominated professions where women are mainly in subservient roles. It can be even worse for younger women who then also have their youth to add insult to the perceived injury.

So, the tone argument gets trotted out again when these women speak out confidently and assertively. I’ve certainly lost count of the number of times I’ve been accused of that. What I was really being told was that I had no business as a woman saying what I was saying in a way that society expects only from men.

So, women: hold firm, keep using your voice assertively and confidently and keep asking those challenging questions. And the next time anyone tells you to mind your tone, remember that your tone isn’t your problem - it’s theirs.

@AnnMroz

This article originally appeared in the 15 May 2020 issue under the headline “Oh, can you sense a tone in my words? That’s not my problem”