I love Christmas. The long preparation and build-up suits me because I love to be organised. Some might say I’m slightly over the top, but I respectfully disagree.

However, in order to have the Christmas of your (OK, my) dreams in Thailand, it’s very different - not least because of how astronomically expensive it is.

Usually living in Thailand is pretty cheap: a local lunch costs £1 and eating out is often cheaper than cooking. But when it comes to imported goods, the costs rise significantly, and non-traditional foods are expensive - and I mean expensive.

What’s more, over the past five years we have seen more availability of “home comforts” arriving in the supermarkets. And while this is great (particularly now), it means it can get pricey when you fancy a taste of home. 

1. Mince pies

They cost £10! Think of that next time you pick up your umpteenth box for £1.50.

2. Wine

Over £10 for the most bog-standard bottle. Champagne just isn’t happening. Buck’s fizz? Out of the question. Have a beer instead. 

3. Sprouts

So expensive that they come individually wrapped from the “posh” supermarket. Bad for the planet, bad for the bank balance. 

4. Parsnips

Pricier than gold. Often manned by armed guards. Yet, is it Christmas without parsnips? I’d argue not - with my bank manager if I have to.

5. Turkey

Feeding a crowd is impossible unless you’re willing to forgo a mortgage payment. 

6. Cheese

Cheese is one of the main conversation topics in the staffroom: it’s not the lack of availability, it’s the price of good Cheddar, salty feta and some strong blue cheese. Despite the hair-raising prices, my motto is still “buy the cheese”. (Oh, and American cheese doesn’t count. Sorry, that’s the rules.)

7. Baileys

One small glass a night is all you’re allotted at £40 for the smallest bottle. In fact no, make that half a glass, every other night.

8. Wine

I know I’ve said this already, but it never gets easier. Fine, chuck me another beer from the fridge.

9. Chocolate

A perennial problem, not just at Christmas. But who can resist the call of Cadbury or an After Eight? Not me - until I see the prices. Then I realise a satsuma is healthier.

10. Panettone

I saved the best until last. While panettone is not actually a favourite of mine, I recently saw one for 14,000 baht in our supermarket. When I converted this, I actually did a snort-laugh: £350. For some flour and air. 

Buy everything from this list and you’re looking at a good £600 for a standard Christmas shop. Gulp. OK, ditch the panettone - and it’s still crazy expensive. But it wouldn’t be Christmas without at least one mince pie, would it? 

Vicki Rotheram is an assistant principal at Shrewsbury International School (Riverside) in Bangkok. She leads the newly established Shrewsbury Institute

This article originally appeared in the 17 December 2021 issue under the headline “Ho, ho, ho-w much?”